Big Brother 8

I was right about Big Brother 8 and not having 12 complete strangers in the house. I'm also so convinced that the producers manipulate the outcome that this was my last season of the show.
Goodbye, Big Brother. It was nice while it lasted.

Screw you, Big Brother producers.

The cast has been announced for the new season of Big Brother, as well as the new lame casting twist... Pairs of people with unresolved issues in their lives are being put in the house together.
No.
NO!
NO NO NO NO NO!
Enough with the casting "twists" where people know each other! After the trainwreck that was Big Brother: All-Stars, the series needed to get back to the basics of 12 COMPLETE STRANGERS!
I don't know how they ever got this idea in their heads that they need to do stunt casting every season, but it's worn out its welcome. I will still watch at first, but this could well be the last season I do watch, and at this point I wouldn't really miss it if it were the last season of the show ever.
At least Survivor and The Amazing Race still rock. And now we've got Pirate Master. Arrr.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/bigbrother8/

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Wrap-Up

I've never been more torn on reality contestants than I am on Charla and Mirna, especially Mirna. Usually, if I can't stand a player, I want to see them gone, and ooooh, I could not stand this team. From their hypocrisy to their inability to go through a country without temporarily kidnapping a local to the insulting and patronizing accents they put on whenever they spoke to someone who didn't have English as a first language (and possibly even a couple who did) to their ridiculous hate of the Beauty Queens to calling every local "my friend" with the faint sound of panic in their voices all the way to their constant use of "This is life or death," this is a team that made every inch of my being scream, "PLEASE GET ELIMINATED!"
Yet at the same time, and this is why this season confused me so, I wanted them to stay because, damn, they were entertaining in their awfulness. I think I finally understand Lord Of The Rings fans. Anyway, they came in third, and I'm glad they made the final three. Sure, that meant they had a chance to win, but if that happened, the fact that they were an all-female team would have made that a lot easier to live with, despite how much more sanctimonious it would have made them.
As it is, we did have an all-female team finish better than any before, and come within a few short minutes of winning. Dustin and Kandice, for two seasons now you've had no bigger cheerleader than myself, and once again you showed why. A second place finish isn't the win for a million, but in The Amazing Race, it's nothing to sneeze at. You two showed why you were brought back for All-Stars by the way you ran so much of the race with smiles on your faces and just a joy for being there. You can also take pride that in your original season, you two actually managed to beat a Fast Forward. That is tough to do for anyone, but you pulled it off.
I don't know what it is about these two that raise the ire of their fellow racers so much, but for both seasons they've managed to make enemies. Are they kicking puppies when the camera isn't looking? They don't do much different and take any advantage any more than any other racers. They have no compunction about using the Yield, but damn it, that's what it's there for! You don't see teams whining in hockey because the other side is using a goalie, do you? Yes, it must be horribly frustrating to be Yielded, but it's not like the team punched your grandmother in the face. Eric overreacted to being Yielded just a tad, but that's nothing new in the Race.
What's more annoying is how the other teams get all morally outraged over the Yield being used. There are very few opportunities for outright strategy in this competition. To not use it to your advantage (or not use it to your advantage, rather than not using it out of a sense of moral superiority) is just stupid. It's a tool the Race provides, and using it makes sense. I love that no matter how freaked out everyone got, Kandice and Dustin had no problem using it, and didn't let it make them feel bad. Yes, Oswald, they used a tool the Race provides guilt-free. And they used it smartly, as Eric and Danielle were huge threats (very huge threats, it turns out).
They even had the best fight. There was none of the screaming we're used to in fights on this show. There was frustration, a temporary desire to quit, then they got over it and were back to smiles. There are times you can really tell when people racing together really are friends (I believe it was the first season I watched that one woman didn't want to stop unrolling haystacks looking for the clue because she didn't want to let down her friend), and this fight was one of those moments. Dustin told Kandice she couldn't imagine running this race without her. Throw in the time Dustin was crying out of concern for when Kandice was high, so very high up and jumping off a building, I've finally come to a very hard decision. It was very hard to choose between the two, but I have, and so I'm proud to announce...
Dustin Seltzer, you are Miss Realivision 2007!
If there was an actual crown and ceremony, I'd have Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek, present it to you, but it's all happening in spirit.
Danny and Oswald were my second choice to win. They also remembered to have fun for most of the race, and it was refreshing to see a team stop for refreshments. I started to sour on them a little near the end though when they started getting more grumpy, and especially when Oswald started getting all pissy and guilty about selling the last Yield to the Beauty Queens. Look, Ozzy, you needed the money as you were broke, and the Beauty Queens didn't use it maliciously. Get over it. I'd really hate to see some of these people on Big Brother or Survivor, seeing that we'd be hearing "integrity" get yammered on about more than we already do. And voting someone off? Oh no! That's not a nice thing to do! Yes, all this self-righteous yapping about the Yield got to me. If I was in the game and I got to the Yield first, you can bet I'd use it on someone's ass to give me an advantage.
Not that it mattered either time. Eric and Danielle were very good at coming back from Yields. In fact, the second time they did so well they may well have won that leg if it weren't for the Yield, so it was a good play and got the BQs another prize.
Oh, Eric and Danielle. I so didn't want you two to win, but you just had to go ahead and do that, didn't you? It's not that I hated you, it's just that when your squabbling wasn't annoying me, you bored me. But you won anyway, and I'll especially give props to Eric who is very good at this competition, coming in second the first time, and winning the second. I just wish I never had to see your pierced nipples. Nobody wants to see that.
In case you haven't heard, Eric and Danielle broke up very soon after the race. I guess he couldn't wait to ditch the beard and get back to Jeremy, his original partner, who promised Eric spankings in a strange, pointless phone call at the finish line.
One of the biggest head-scratching decisions from the producers this season was having one non-elimination leg right after the other. When Eric and Danielle were marked for elimination on the first leg, would they have just been marked for elimination the second time as well if they ended up coming in last? It makes no sense, and really takes away from the point of being marked for elimination. Back when they players just had to give up their money and possessions, it would have worked, but with the new rules, it doesn't.
I've also never seen a season where airports and flights have played a bigger role. Obviously they're a big part of every season, but rarely have they screwed so many teams so often. Joyce and Uchenna were eliminated because they chose the wrong flight and couldn't make their connection in time. Other teams wound up so far behind that the frontrunners were starting the next leg before they even reached the mat! I felt bad for them, but it was awesome to see. I'd also like to point out that in that particular leg, Dustin and Candice had come in first so they were the first to leave before those in the back arrived. Whoo hoo!
All in all, it was a good season. There weren't a heck of a lot of great challenges this time around, so that was a bummer (really, count stairs for a fast forward? Go for a ride? Come on). On the other hand, it was the best All-Star season of any of the shows that have had one. There wasn't as much baggage going in, and alliances count for very little thanks to the nature of the game, despite what Mary from Kentucky would like. She'd do very well in The Amazing Picnic, but she's just not cut out for The Amazing Race where people actually want to be ahead of you and aren't horrible, horrible people for doing so. This is why they missed the Chos from their season, another team not made for this game. If there's ever an Amazing Stroll Through The Park, they should apply.
Not having watched every season (to my regret), it was nice to see faces who were new to me this edition. I didn't get to know all of them, as the very first elimination was a team I'd never seen before. There were teams that left me wondering how they got picked for All-Stars. The two bald guys, Kevin and Drew... Were they more entertaining or stronger racers in their original season? Now I know how people who never saw the first season of Big Brother felt upon seeing Chicken George on their All-Stars (I so wanted Brittany back for that, but upon seeing what an abomination that season turned out to be, not only am I glad she wasn't, I'm sorry any of my favourites who were there had to go through that).
There is good news and bad news from CBS about the show. The good news is the Race will be back. The bad news is, it's going to be a wait. Unless there's a big upturn in ratings, we've come to the end of two seasons a year. Luck for us though, there will still be a lot to watch. I'm particular looking forward to the premiere of Pirate Master coming up very soon. Arrrr.

The Apprentice L.A. - Wrap Up

The fundamental flaw with The Apprentice, other than Donald Trump being a complete ass as a human being, is that the competition is for a job while most of the tasks have no relation to that job at all. If you go in to interview for an accountant position, nobody asks you to bake a pie. You may have to cook some books, but pastries don't come up in the equation at all.
I don't watch America's or Canada's Next Top Model, and I don't watch Project Runway, but I do know that all the tasks in the form require modelling, and all the tasks in the latter require designing clothes. Granted, it would be fun to make them balance a ledger, but that would have nothing to do with the ultimate goal.
Granted, there are things you can learn from watching people perform in Apprentice tasks. Hard working or lazy? Works well with others? A good leader AND a good follower? Quick and creative thinker?
I've never overseen the construction of a building, but I suspect the creative thinking required isn't quite like the creative thinking in putting together a commercial or advertising event. There's a reason companies have departments specifically for marketing.
That said, I'm still disappointed in Heidi. Since I last updated this show, Heidi had won another task as Project Manager, and when it came to measuring up to her previous performances sitting beside Trump, she hit the mark and I thought she had this competition sewn up.
That is, until she teamed up with Frank. The final six got together in teams of two and each had to come up with presentation for a new Trump Towerish Thing, and Heidi and Frank's presentation sucked. The video was nothing, there was no theme, and Heidi wasn't preparted at all to present what they did have, which wasn't like her at all. The thing with the boardroom is, if you have a horrible task but shined throughout the competition up until then, you should be able to save your own butt. Unfortunately for Heidi, sitting across from The Donald instead of beside him, and on the defensive at that, she crashed and burned.
What she needed to do was to admit to screwing up in this task without humming and hawing, without trying to excuse it, just admit to the screw-up but then stand on your record. It might not have worked, but at least it would have been a lot less disappointing for those of us who were behind her.
Kristine was also fired at the same time for not doing well enough on her task (and wasn't given enough time to defend herself, from what we saw, and even with editing she seemed shocked to not have more of a chance). The good news was that both of them took the firing well, having a bit of a laugh and regretting not teaming up with each other (Kristine wanted to prove herself without Heidi). At least they left us with a positive impression.
But there was bad news as well. With those two gone, there was no more original Kinetic, the only people left were the buffoons of Arrow. Crap.
Even crappier than who made the final four was that it was only going to be a final four. Based on this and his other show, Survivor, it seems that executive producer Mark Burnett has found himself with a fetish with groups at the end instead of a final two. For two seasons now, Survivor has had a final three (more on that when I write my Surivor: Fiji entry, which will come after The Amazing Race which will be next), and now The Apprentice gives us a final four going to the final boardroom. It just doesn't work, because it doesn't remove the last people you know don't have a chance, and it's a little cruel because it gives them false hope. Trump may like you, Frank, but you really don't think you were in the running, do you?
However, I could have lived with the lameness of final four if it wasn't for the absolute suckiness of the final task. Instead of the standard bringing together of a charity event, the final task was... making a commercial. Something they've already done for a task, but this one was for movie theatres! Oooh! Nope, sorry, that's a load of crap for a final task. There was no tension, one deadline, no large numbers of people to impress and organize. It was a friggin' commercial. Seriously, am I getting across how horrible a choice I thought this was? Maybe previous final tasks meant they weren't able to get corporate sponsors willing to let them get together two charity events again, but they should have at least come up with their own.
It was a lame ending to a pretty lame season. I really hope this isn't the one they go out on.
Even though it was a final four, it still got whittled down in the boardroom to a final two as the losing team from the lame final task was fired, and it came down to James versus Stephanie.
I didn't care much for James. There was arrogance in him with a dash of hypocrisy (don't make me search for it, but I believe he was complaining about Frank doing exactly the same thing he did a couple of tasks earlier). But Stephanie was pretty much the Invisible Woman all season, and she never once stepped up as Project Manager. As much as she struck me as someone more grounded and ready for the job, never being PM should have been her death knell.
Then Trump told James that James had said something he didn't like, but didn't elaborate it but he said that he knew what he was talking about. I don't know what it was, maybe James stood up and proclaimed himself a Rosie O'Donnell fan, and that the comedian and talk show host has as much right as any other citizen to stand up and speak her beliefs, despite what appears to be a successful conservative effort to demonize and marginalize her. Don't like what Rosie's saying? Shout her down and belittle her! Nobody wants to listen to a fat, ugly pig!
Sorry, this whole thing has been a sore point with me lately, and Trump has been at the forefront of it. I'll keep trying not to get too political in these pages.
All that matters is that Stephanie did something I thought would have been impossible. She won the season without once being Project Manager. I don't know if it would have been possible in a normal season, but this one did have the twist of the winning PM staying in the job until they lose. That does make it more difficult to get the position, but I will still argue that you should fight for the job whenever you get the chance. If the show does manage to come back, I doubt we will ever see someone who has never been PM win again.
I'm not sure how I feel about the winning PM keeping the job, as twists go it's not the best but it's not the worst. I do like that they sit in the boardroom beside Trump as it gives us a chance to see how well they do in that situation. And damn it, nobody did better there this season than Heidi.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - The Finale

Okay, I know it's been a while. Sorry. There were two reasons for it. One was the usual burnout, but that wouldn't have been as bad if it weren't for this show, and I didn't want to touch the other programs until I got this one done as I don't like to mess up the order. But the thing is, I've had no desire to watch the finale. It's still sitting on a tape, but seeing as the competition was over, the whole thing would have been filler up until the winners were announced.
Who cares about the filler? That's the problem with the Dancing With The Stars results show. I haven't even bothered watching most of them, just flipping over to see who's been eliminated (and let me tell you that Billy Ray Cyrus outlasting Heather Mills was yet another crime audience voting is responsible for).
So how can I write a commentary if I haven't seen the show yet? Because I know who won. Congratulations, Max and Laura!
This should be interesting now when the show opens. There shouldn't be an issue with Laura, as she is very talented. My only concern about her is if she can play the role innocently enough, but that's about it. If too many people care that she's brunette, she can always wear a wig or dye her hair.
The bigger problem is going to be Max. People who watched the show know what a plucky underdog he was and his backstory, the kind of things that helped him get the votes to win. But people who didn't watch? They're going to go in and many will likely respond, "What the hell? That's Danny?"
It's unfortunately, but it's a reality in show business and in life. Personally, I'd love to see the show on Broadway and see how he does, if he's going to be able to pull it off despite not being quite what most people imagine Danny Zuko to be.
There have been people so upset at the result that they've cancelled their tickets. I have no sympathy for those idiots. Anyone paying attention could have predicted Max and Laura would win (I'd like to pat myself on the back here and note that I called it), but even to those who didn't think it was obvious, it should still have been too big of a gamble to buy tickets expecting certain people to win. If you were stupid enough to buy tickets like this, suck it up and go see the winners perform. To do otherwise gets you called an idiot in this blog.
If people were trying to beat the rush, I think the ratings for Grease: You're The One That I Want should have told them not to sweat it. Trying to get tickets to see it on Broadway before it closes? Now that's something else. That I can understand. I really hope I remember to check out reviews and such when it opens. I don't know what kind of contract the winners signed and if it gives the producers outs, but if they were smart, they will be prepared to let the winners go and have understudies ready to go on that more fit what people want to see. Yes, it sucks. Don't you think I'd love to be able to step in front of a camera? But no, I'm a hideous troll and I know that I will never make it as Canada's Next Top Model. Canada's Next Top Sideshow? Sure, of course!
Now there's a show I'd watch, as long as it wasn't exploitative.
Anyway, little of this is new. This is the sort of thing I've been saying all season. If having Max as Danny affects ticket sales, hey, they're the ones that put him through to the competition. Not that they had much choice. I know there are a lot of talented men out there but why they didn't audition for the show is beyond me.
So break a leg, Max and Laura. I can't say you were my choices (though Laura was close with some awesome performances), but you were both at the top of the competition and I hope you kick butt.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 25

Okay, another short one while I play catch up.

This episode began with Kinetic being down by two members. As far as Trump was concerned, this was akin to them being "decimated". I could go back and look at who won what task, or try to remember, but a little simple math and the memory of one event will help us. A while back, Arrow was on a losing streak so a member of Kinetic had to go over to their team. That was Surya. Now if Surya stayed on his original team, they would have only been down by one. So this "decimated" team has only lost one more task than their rivals.
That didn't matter. Trump wanted to even them out. James, as the current project manager, was told to find a volunteer and if nobody stepped forward, he was to choose someone.
Not only was Arrow on a bit of a winning streak, these are two very different teams with very different approaches, so nobody wanted to do it. I never did grasp what convoluted reasoning James used, but he picked Nicole to go over. You know, the one with the nascent romance with Tim. Nicole wasn't at all pleased that Tim didn't fight to keep her on Arrow or that James got rid of her so quickly and easily, so she wanted nothing more than to beat those two in the next task. And a little coochie coochie with Tim.
She wasn't about to be project manager though. Things were shaky for Angela after the last task, and being the only remaining member from the original Kinetic still in the competition who hasn't been PM, it was her turn to step up.
The task this time around was to sell passes to Universal Studios Hollywood. There really wasn't much to do on this one. Pick a strategy and go with it. Kinetic chose to sell on rollerskates (not rollerblades, as Ivanka kept saying), and Arrow went with a table and signs.
Usually the tasks take place in separate locations for the different teams, but this time they were all in the same place and competing for the same customers. Arrow was out for blood, at times outraging Kinetic with their tactics. They're competing to work for Donald Trump though. I've got a tiny, niggling feeling that he's just a wee bit not bothered by a little dirty play as long as it wins the task.
And in this case, it did win the task and by a very comfortable margin. I actually liked the rollerskate idea better because it was a lot more fun, but you can't argue with results.
The reward for winning was a helicopter ride over Los Angeles. Followed by a ferris wheel, some cotton candy, and balloons for everyone. No, I kid. The helicopter ride would be cool.
For the boardroom, eeeeeehhhhhhhhh... The problem is the idea wasn't that bad, and it wasn't that they lost the task through horrible choices or disruptive teammates, they were just beat by a better idea. Heidi and Kristine were safe short of doing something very stupid in the boardroom.
Speaking of Heidi, yet again, How Did The Winning Project Manager Compare to Heidi?
James improved his performance greatly this week. He didn't look as sweaty being there (though there was a sheen), and he did come out and ask a question confidently and forcefully. It was even a decent question. It was only one question, but he did it well. On a Heidi scale of 10, I'll give James a good 8.5 for the job he did. Well done! Lose the sheen, you'd get a 9. Ask another question or two, and don't sound so angry, you'd even better yet.
So Heidi and Kristine were safe. The only reason Nicole might be in danger is that being the new kid on the team, the others might be able to put some of the blame on her. Unfortunately for Angela though, this was one of those challenges where, despite the HUGE gap in money made (it was a good $7000), nobody really deserved to go so it had to be the project manager who had the final say in all decisions.
See? A short entry. Luckily it happened with a week where there wasn't too much to say mostly because I really don't care about the Tim/Nicole relationship woes. For that to intrigue me, they'd have had to make me care about them as individuals in the first place. Granted, they're nowhere near as annoying as Frank, but they're not really charming me over to their side.
Gads, I can't wait for Frank to leave.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 25

Holy friggin' crap, this episode was all about the airport, wasn't it?
It seems like Dar Es Salaam is the most popular vacation spot on the planet, because every team had issues getting there as every team had to fly stand-by.
The first place win helped Charla and Mirna tremendously here, as they managed to get the first shot at seats on all flights and got a huge lead over all the other teams.
It wasn't even close, people.
This insane day at the airport was frustrating to the teams, and probably boring to any viewers who wanted to see more action. Not me. I loved every minute of it. You know who else probably loved it? Joyce and Uchenna. If you remember, they came in last on the previous leg, and so were marked for elimination. That meant if they didn't come in first this leg, they would incur a 30 minute penalty. Remembering that this is just a commentary and not a recap, I can say that penalty didn't make any difference at all. In fact, they got so far ahead of the next closest team, the Beauty Queens (yay!), that Kandice and Dustin still hadn't reached the Pit Stop by the time the penalty came to an end.
Before I go on any further, I just want to let you know this is going to be a short one. I was very tired last week, so tired I didn't event want to think of writing. Then this weekend other stuff came up, and when I wasn't doing that, I was pretty zombified. Sorry.
But speaking of short ones, Charla and Mirna made it to Dar Es Salaam first, where they had to take a boat to their next clue. However, because of allegedly inclement weather, the captain wouldn't take them out until early the next morning.
This allowed Danny and Oswald to catch up to them where Oswald made a joke about a certain bench being where they, um, "worked", that wasn't ha-ha funny (unlike my hiiiiilarious recaps and commentaries (dang, I hit my high point with Treasure Hunters)), but the fact that it went completely over Charla and Mirna's heads was great. And right there is where I show what a classy joint this is. I made one short comment earlier (I hesitate to call it a "joke"), but I let that part about going over Charla and Mirna's heads go right by. That's why this is where the swells come to get their fancy television writing.
Ugh. I'm not going to even going to try to figure out who was where and when. Eric and Danielle were given their seats by mistake, which led to one of the highlights of the season - seeing them being asked to kindly leave the aircraft. So this gave three teams a lead over them, leaving them stranded with Ian, Teri, Bill and Joe at the airport. He wasn't vocalizing it, but you just know Eric was thinking, "Eww, old people! Ick! Ick!"
However, because they were removed from the last flight, they got the only seats on the next flight, leaving the oldsters of the season with more airport waiting to do.
Seriously, it was so bad that I think teams were still there at around the half-hour mark on the episode. I think all the teams made it to Johannesburg from Mozambique, but it's all a jumble of ticket counters and the joie de vivre of hanging around airports. This leg wasn't even going to be close. There was at least a good day or so between the first place and last place teams.
To make matters worse for our two fogey teams, Eric and Danielle were able to get the next flight while they still had to wait. There are going to have to be some serious equalization points to bring the whole pack back together. You know that things are horribly awry when Mirna and Charla come in first two legs in a row! Oops. Spoiler.
Ah, let's just look at the Detour. Solve It or Schlep It. In Solve it, teams had to do a nifty puzzle. In Schlep it, they had to carry two huge, misshapen logs on a cart. Some teams did one, some the other. Of the first place teams, Oswald and Danny finished first, but they stopped for some fruit on the way to the Roadblock, allowing Charla and Mirna to overtake them.
At the Roadblock, one of the teammates had to use a throwing weapon called a Rungu to destroy a clay target and get their next clue. Mirna triumphed, and they got their second first place finish. Their prize for winning this leg? A pair of catamarans. The blank looks on their faces made me scream, "BOATS! CATAMARANS ARE BOATS, YOU PATRONIZING TO NON-ENGLISH SPEAKERS IDIOTS!"
Is it wrong to so thoroughly dislike a team but enjoy them at the same time? I so don't want them to win, but damn, it just wouldn't be the same without them if they don't make it to third place behind the second place Oswald and Danny and first place, million dollar winning Kandice and Dustin.
So Oswald and Danny came in next, followed by Joyce and Uchenna who waited half an hour and the Beauty Queens still didn't show up (I can't for the life of me remember how they got so far behind), but at least the BQs came in fourth. Eric and Danielle made their way boringly to the mat, leaving two more teams. See? I haven't given everything away.
Bill and Joe arrived in sixth place, meaning Teri and Ian were eliminated, leaving one less geriatric team around to remind Eric that he will age and his pierce nipples will sag.


Anyway, sorry that was so truncated. Except for the Grease finale, expect to see that until I'm caught up again. Heck, I still have to write up last week's Apprentice and as I look at the clock, this week's is starting in about five minutes. Urgh.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired March 21

I wonder if Survivor's producers, after Stephenie became the last member standing of the Ulong tribe a few seasons back, came up with something they might possibly call the "Palau Contingency", a plan disguised as a twist just in case one tribe keeps getting their butts handed to them immunity after immunity. Heck, at least Ulong managed to win a reward challenge or two. Ravu can barely even win our sympathy.
This possible contingency plan likely states that if one tribe loses often enough, rather than have them just keep losing until the merge, things will be shaken up and the tribes remixed.
After all, what are the odds that this particular twist would happen on the season where one tribe wouldn't win a challenge if it was "Guess which hand I'm hiding a quarter in"?
So the tribes were reforming. Earl from Ravu and Edgardo from Moto got to be the "captains" and choose who they'd like to have on their teams. To nobody's surprise on the first season where only members of one sex have been voted out so far, they each pick a guy. Everyone had to pick from the opposing tribe, so Edgardo chose Mookie and Earl chose "Boo". Yeah. Mookie picked a guy too, but "Boo" chose Michelle. Oh! That was unexpected! Edgardo's team picked man after man, but Michelle called out Cassandra's name! Don't you get it, Michelle? You have to choose strong! STRONG!
It was interesting to see it all shape up. Earl's team ended up with Stacy and Yau-Man as well, while the "weakest" member of Edgardo's team was Anthony. Personally, I think the weakest member of that tribe is "Rocky", but more on that later.
It did come down to Yau-Man versus Lisi at the end, and when Yau-Man was picked, Lisi was sent off to Exile Island where she would remain until after Tribal Council, when she would then join the losing tribe. Like that worked out really well for Sylvia.
Lisi didn't take any of this well and started talking about how her time on Survivor was over, raising the ire of host Jeff Probst. Jeff doesn't like to hear people talk about quitting, damn it! I'm sure he's got Osten locked away in a dungeon somewhere, but the FBI won't take my calls seriously enough to investigate.
After the tribes were picked and Lisi was carted off to her snake-infested island, there was only one matter left to settle. Who would get the luxury of Moto's camp?
In one of the greatest reward challenges ever, Edgardo got to pick one of two buffs out of a bag!
Sometimes good things do happen in life, and Edgardo picked the Ravu buff, meaning this new Ravu tribe would have to go back to the crappy Ravu camp and the new Moto would get to go on to the sweet island life.
I admit, I was a bit biased against Edgardo's tribe because it was all men. The sexist nature of much of the voting has driven me to that. Ravu kept voting out woman after woman, yet they still kept losing. This fetish for physical strength obviously hasn't been the issue. And never mind that a couple of the woman voted out were physically stronger than Yau-Man. He's a man, it even says so in his name! That makes him strong! Seriously, it's been driving me crazy.
This kind of sexism isn't new to Survivor, but it reached new lows with this episode and with this new Ravu tribe. I'm not saying they're Saudi or Taliban bad, but damn, the Ravu tribesmen were full of themselves for having penises and as such would own the rest of the season! Booya!
In 14 seasons of Survivor, there were tribes I've wanted to win or lose so bad I could taste it. The aforementioned Ulong in Palau, Morgan in the Pearl Islands, Yasur on Vanuatu, and heck, Aitu last season, all teams I loved to see win and really, so very much wanted to see win. None of it has come close to how much I wanted to see Moto win immunity this week and send the sexist pigs to Tribal Council. Granted, not all of them are sexist. Anthony didn't come across that way, and the guy was seen as the weakest member of the tribe and treated like it. Especially by "Rocky".
Screw it, "Rocky". That's the last time I'm going to use that stupid nickname on you, James. Up until now, James has been loud and obnoxious with the worst of his sexism coming out when he couldn't stand Rita talking as a woman with another woman. His hatred of women came out in full force in this episode, along with his hatred of men he perceives as weak, or as he kept referring to Anthony, "effeminate".
Ladies and Gentlemen, we finally have a full-blown villain for this season. Unfortunately, he's not an entertaining one like Mirna and Charla are on The Amazing Race. No, sadly he's just a homophobic, misogynistic asshole with too high an opinion of himself. It's my blog, I can use that language if I want.
It was impossible to take him seriously when he told us that he loves women. He loves talking to them, though that claim doesn't hold up well considering that he went after Rita because she, you know, talked. He loves being with them, he loves paying for sex with them... Okay, he didn't say that last part, but he clearly sees women who aren't his family as lesser beings and quite possibly as objects. Hell, how did he insult Anthony? But comparing him to a woman and calling him "effeminate". That brought to light not only his misogyny, but his homophobia too. If the cameras weren't on him, I wonder if he would have used even more derogatory terminology. Maybe he did, but the producers opted not to show it.
Oh, and he's a bully too. A misogynistic, homophobic bully. The way he treated Anthony around camp, expecting the man to do all his work while putting up with his verbal assaults was horrendous. Good on Anthony on not letting loose and punching him in the throat, because damn, James deserved it.
So yeah, James has now beaten "Jonny Fairplay", Scout, and Twila as my most disliked Survivor contestant ever. Congratulations, jackass.
I thought it would be too much to ask after the testosterone squad ended up as Ravu that they'd also lose the immunity. Daaaaaamn, I wanted them to lose. There's no way to get such goodness twice in one episode.
The great thing about watching it on tape, which is what I did with this episode, is being able to fast forward through the competition. There was just too much at stake for me to be able to handle the mistake. Once Moto won and I let the cheers out, I rewound it and watched everything unfold. Damn, that was the sweetest win ever.
Now we were finally going to get to see a man voted out. It wasn't as good as it would have been if there would have been at least one woman on that tribe (Lisi will be joining them next week, so after the way she treated "Dreamz" and Cassandra, maybe there really is some karma in the universe), but it was going to be nice to see.
Unfortunately it was looking like that man was going to be Anthony, someone James convinced everyone else is the weakest link. Anthony didn't just stand by and let this happen though. He made sure he let the others know just how much negativity James brings to the tribe, and oh, does he ever.
Instead of all those women being voted out one by one, I wonder how much better Ravu would have been if they got rid of James early. He hasn't done anything to keep them in contention at the challenges, and he has been a hugely negative force in camp. There was no reason to get rid of Rita other than that she annoyed him, and he's quickly turned on any alliances he's had.
One small problem that escaped both James and Anthony is that by turning on themselves, neither of them are going to have numbers on their side. Whichever one goes, that leaves the other and Mookie as the only two original members of Ravu, and when Lisi joins them next week, that will be Edgardo, Alex, "Dreamz" and Lisi from the original Moto against Mookie and whoever is left. What they needed to do was stick together, and feel out who would most likely flip from Moto. Last week "Dreamz" couldn't wait for the merge so he could change sides. Nobody but us knew this, but nobody will know it if they don't try to find out these things.
Earl on the new Moto is becoming Realivision's choice to win this season. He was smart enough to know that numbers matter on Survivor, and he was able to get Cassandra over on his side. Luckily they never had to go to Tribal Council, but if they did, I strongly suspect it would have been a former Moto member going home. Sadly it would have been Stacy as the only other choice would have been "Boo" and why would they vote him off when there's another woman they could send packing? Damn, I'm really hoping the women have noticed this particular numbers issue. The best they (and Yau-Man) can hope for now is that once the merge happens, the manly men start picking each other off.
There is an amazing lack of foresight on the show this season. The only people we've seen really thinking ahead have been Alex, Earl, and "Dreamz". Most of the old Moto were happy where they were, and the old Ravu were just wanting to try and win the next challenge, concentrating on strength even though it was puzzles that kept doing them in. This is making any actual strategizing a breath of fresh air. Too bad for the former Ravu that they're stuck with a genius like James on the new Ravu. Done right, this mixing of the tribes could have been the best thing that ever happened to them.
Before getting to Tribal Council, something happened on the new Ravu that left me questioning the producers. They caught fish. Normally this wouldn't be worth noting, but the old Ravu never got fishing equipment. So how did the new tribe get fishing line? If they're going to do this twist, then the new tribes should have exactly what the old tribes did, nothing more, nothing less.
Okay, Tribal Council. As expected, it was down to James versus Anthony. James continued to be a bully, calling Anthony "effeminate" and berated him for his lack of social skills. You may think you do, but you don't truly know the meaning of "irony" until you've seen James bitching about someone else's lack of social skills.
The looks on the faces of the men who weren't going home as James kept flapping his hateful gums gave me hope. Anthony did tell them what a negative influence this ass was, and they were obviously seeing it. Or just feeling bad for Anthony. I really hope they weren't feeling bad for Anthony because they felt like this crap was something he needed to hear. He doesn't. He's fine just the way he is. I'll take a dozen of him over one James any day.
I did like how he stuck up for himself, though I would have thrown a couple of f-bombs at the f-wad. He wondered if being a jerk was what it took to be a strong, manly man, and he didn't think they needed the extra drama and negativity in camp. Well, maybe he should have been an ass, because the new Ravu voted him out.
Unbelievable. James is an idiot and has never, as far as I can remember, been a physical asset. Maybe because he's so loud and obnoxious he comes across as stronger than he is, but he's only going to keep dragging Ravu down for as long as he's in the game.
Though with the new tribe dynamics and wanting to see Ravu keep losing, I'm not so sure that's a bad thing.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 18

Donald Trump is no stranger to hyperbole, but when the potential Apprentices met him on the set of NBC's soap opera Passions, he reached either a new high or low, depending on how you want to look at it. Either way, it was funny. It's obvious that The Apprentice is pre-taped, and this particular season was done some time ago, when The Donald referred to the recently cancelled Passions as one of "NBC's top-rated shows". As far as soaps go, this one has been a basement dweller since its inception, and now its end is coming.
It was an awesome moment made all that much better by the fact that the task, while related to soap operas, had nothing to do with the goings on in Harmony. Yeah, I watched Passions when it first came out, but the story lines dragged on for so friggin' long I lost patience and now I just stick to Days Of Our Lives.
The task this week was to make a 45 second "webisode" for Soft Scrub Deep Clean Foaming Cleanser. All I want to know is will it make me feel clean again after just plugging it? So dirty... So very dirty... Won't wash off! Now I know how the executives who would be judging this feel.
After he came close to being fired last week, Arrow's James decided the best thing for him to do would be to step up and be the project manager. This always happens when someone has a tough boardroom, but nobody should be letting themselves get into that position in the first place. You shouldn't be stepping into the PM role because now you feel you have something to prove. You should be clamouring for it from the start of the game, and you should be doing your damnedest to make sure Trump has no reason to fire you even if you lose, and I don't mean by covering your ass. Yes, if you have doubts about your team's approach to a task, air them early on, but once that's done, dig in and work as hard and as well as your can.
Over at Kinetic, Kristine got to remain PM after her win last week. She lucked into the half-time show, something she's done before, but now she has to create an entertaining and informative 45 second story, something outside her comfort zone.
The problems she had with Muna last week surfaced again, with Muna questioning things again and not wanting to work behind the camera. Allowing her to be one of the performers was a mistake on both their parts. When trying to communicate with an audience through a webcast, clarity is the most important thing and as cool as Muna's accent is, it's not the right thing to have on camera for this task in this format.
That wasn't Kristine's only mistake though. While Heidi and Muna were busy filming, she and Angela went out to do some shopping. Why? What is it about shopping that Angela couldn't have done by herself? Without a director behind the camera, things were not going well.
The only thing that might save Kinetic was Arrow's particularly lame production. We've discovered from this experience that not only can nobody on Arrow act, their idea of a performance is TALKING VERY LOUD!
"HEY HONEY, LOOK WHAT I DID! I CLEANED THE BATHROOM WITH THIS NEW SOFT SCRUB CLEANSER!"
"WONDERFUL! I'VE JOINED THE FOREIGN LEGION!"
"EMILY, NOOOOOO!"
"ENJOY YOUR CLEAN BATHROOM, BRICK!"
Despite how atrocious their production was, Arrow was very pleased with it in the editing room. No so much with Kinetic, where Muna was so hard to understand in places that they had to edit out quite a bit just to make their webisode someone understandable. I don't know what their time limit was, or what resources they had available, but I was wondering if there was any way they could have dubbed over it all. Heck, if things were so far lost, I would have tried a comedic approach and dubbed the whole thing over in Spanish with obviously mismatched lipsynching then put in English subtitles.
Unfortunately, because so much was cut out, Kinetic also lost a lot of the product placement. If they had Kristine in front of the camera, they might well have won this task by having a more entertaining production, but they didn't and Arrow won this week.
Arrow's reward for winning was to fly to Sacramento in a private jet and meet the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Honestly, there was a time where I thought that would have been cool to meet him, but not so much anymore. They enjoyed it though.
The firing was obviously going to be between Kristine and Muna, though you never know what could set off Trump in the boardroom. For the first time ever, we really saw a crack in Heidi's boardroom performance. When Trump asked her who she thought should be fired, she tried so hard to be diplomatic and not hurt the feelings of anyone she liked, she frustrated The Donald who just wanted her to make a decision.
Considering that he asked her what's happened, that she started out as a superstar but has been on the losing team way too often now, this wasn't the time for her to be diplomatic. When Trump asks you who should be fired, give him a name. If you must, say, "I have a lot of respect for her, but I would fire Muna." Trump liked Muna, and he did see how Kristine cost her team this task. However, Muna certainly contributed to the loss too. So with a tough decision on his mind, let's give him time to think as we look at our weekly feature, How Did The Winning Project Manager Compare to Heidi?
James was another quiet one. He did ask a question without prompting from Trump, always a good thing, but it was just one question. His comfort level didn't seem to be where it could be sitting at The Hair's side. A middling performance, not one that said, "There's The Apprentice!"
In the end, Muna paid the price for the loss this week. She didn't go out as angry as Aimee, but she wasn't as fine with the firing as Derek and Jenn were. She definitely wasn't pleased, that's for sure.
This leaves us with three members left on Kinetic versus five on Arrow, so don't be surprised to see a shake-up on the next episode. While I'd love to see Heidi take another turn at project manager and save her reputation, the way the season is set up for this now means Angela really should be getting that position as she hasn't taken a turn yet and she should fight tooth and nail to get the job.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 18

It's strange, this first episode without Rob and Amber. I'm not used to seeing them leave so early in any of these shows. The good news is that the race doesn't seem to be a lock for any one team now. Hell, even Mirna and Charla might come in first at some point. I know, and pigs will fly!
Thanks to the ending that surprised everyone, the second biggest bit of news from this episode was completely overlooked. Any other episode, except last week's, would have everyone buzzing about this. Eric, yes, that Eric, showed some personality! Unfortunately that personality includes such descriptors as "asshole-ish" and "somewhat homophobic". Joe and Bill aren't my two favourite racers either, but shouting "Freak freak freak!" at them was uncalled for. It wouldn't have been so bad if Eric hadn't then referred to them as "queens" in an interview seconds after this happened.
There is no need to like Joe and Bill (The Guidos), and the way they overreacted to Eric telling his driver to make it look like they were trying to pass them was ridiculous. I'm talking Mirna-level ridiculous here. But that's no excuse for homophobic insults, Mr. Nipple Rings Possibly Trying To Overcompensate For Something.
All of this overshadowed yet another big piece of news - the race finally left South America! Whoo hoo! From Argentina, the teams went all the way to Mozambique in Africa! With this being the All-Star season, it would have been nice to see them fit as many continents as possible, but now it's likely that either Europe or Asia will be skipped, damn it. Not only would have been nice to see the teams race through both, it would have been cool to see them have to go through Australia and Antarctica too. Australia is still a possibility, but considering how close they just were to Antarctica only to go in a completely different direction, that's not going to happen. A race through all seven continents really would have added to something calling itself "All-Stars".
Okay, that out of the way, before finding out they were leaving the country, the teams first had to find their clue. They took a lift up and hiked up to Marial Glacier, a glacier that looked pretty haggard and all melty-like. I won't get into global warming though, as I'll soon be getting preachy over something else.
After getting off the lift and before they started their hike, the teams had to grab backpacks what had avalanche beacons that they would use to find other beacons in the snow, and it was there where they would find their next clue.
It went fairly smoothly for most of the teams. Some had an easier time than others. One team, however, didn't read their whole clue before hiking to the glacier and so had to go all the way back to the lift to get their backpacks. Why must you break my heart like this, Kandice and Dustin? The Beauty Queens are a kickass team, but they keep making careless mistakes, something I hope all this extra hiking helped cure them of.
Fortunately Oswald and Danny were having a very hard time working out the beacon, so they were the last team to leave. You know, I wouldn't worry about being the last team to leave this early in a leg, because there's bound to be a time equalizer somewhere. Still, you don't want to take that chance either.
Okay, now the teams left for Africa, we got that unpleasantness between Eric and The Guidos, and yes, that part happened at a time equalizer anyway as they had to wait for a park to open so they could do their next task.
The Roadblock was cool and scary this week. Scary because thanks to war, Mozambique is littered with landmines, a deadly threat to its citizens, and especially its children. It kinda makes the whole "making a game of this" thing seem a little heartless. But if it helps to educate, that's a good thing. The cool part of it was the giant rats that are trained to search for landmines. How giant were these rats? Think of a small dog. Yeah, that big. Phil Keoghan was even cradling one in his arms as he was describing the task. If you have to cradle it in your arms, that's one monster rodent.
One of the teammates had to choose a rat and use it to find a deactivated mine, and there they would also find a race marker, which would get them their clue. Not taking a chance that the mines weren't properly deactivated, the racers only had to find it, some poor local would have to dig. To make this task easier, the rats were attached to strings and could only go back and forth in a straight line. Once they found the mine, they'd start digging. The racer would then say they believe the mine is there, their local help would go over it with a metal detector, and if correct, would start digging, praying fervently that their last day on Earth wouldn't be spent helping some American game show contestant win a million dollars.
For the most part, the racers were able to get through this task without incident. Some took a little longer than others, but the only one who really had a problem was Charla. Whether it was impatience, or if she was too busy getting righteously outraged over all the other rats daring to do better than hers, she wasn't paying enough attention and as the rat would start digging, she got it to move on. Not that it mattered for long, because one commercial break later, she finally noticed the rat digging, and they got their clue. It was nice to see this task end without any Mozambicans being blown up.
Now with everyone on the road again, it was time to go back to the town they started from, Maputo, find their next clue, and on to the Detour.
"Pamper or Porter?" The choice, as always, was between two tasks. The teams would either have to travel to a market and paint fingernails to try and raise 30 metecais (about one U.S. dollar), or they'd have to travel to another market, use their hands to fill ten 45-pound (about 20.4 kg) bags with coal then carry one of those bags to a specific address where the owner would hand them their next clue. I always wonder how the producers get some of these tasks set up, especially when they have to go to regular homes. Do they go to random houses and ask if they'd like a free bag of coal? The people who answer the doors, while having the clues, always seem to be a little surprised that this really is happening.
Phil let's us know something the racers aren't aware of... In Maputo, it's usually men who paint fingernails for pay. This led to every man in the race choosing to do the coal task, incorrectly believing that it might be harder for them to get customers.
The two all-female teams, however, went with the nails. Sure, it's usually men who do this in Maputo, but how often does one get the chance in Mozambique to have her nails coloured by a blonde little person and her cousin both talking in insulting accents? Not very often, my friends! Not very often. Heck, how often does one get that chance in Canada or the United States? Not very often, my friends!
So while the majority of the teams were digging through coal all hot and sweaty, Charla and Mirna pulled off a feat most thought impossible. They came in first. First they knock out Rob and Amber then they come in first? Up is down, black is white, Horatio Sanz is funny!
There is a downside to this, of course. They are still Charla and Mirna, so they're going to see this as a vindication of their self-righteous, hypocritical ways. God or karma saw to it that they won this leg as a reward for being such fantastically good people who know that any language barrier can be overcome as long as you use a horrible, patronizing accent!
But damn, if they aren't entertaining. I don't want to see them win, but I would like to see them make it to fourth or fifth place just because they make for good television.
The team I do want to see win, despite the mistakes they've made, came in second. Well done, Beauty Queens! They finally kicked the fourth place or lower habit they've developed this season. Now if only they can get a few first place finishes in. Or even just one where it really, really counts.
Now I said earlier that all the men chose to do the coal task. That doesn't mean all of them actually did it. Despite Ian wanting to do the coal, he and Teri got lost and wound up at the wrong market. Rather than waste time trying to find the correct one, they decided to do the fingernail polish despite Ian's trepidations. They managed to get two young ladies to agree to have their nails done for, what was to them, an obscenely expensive price. With that done, Teri and Ian headed to the Pit Stop and, much to their surprise, a third place finish.
That left all the coal diggers. Oswald and Danny were the first to finish, and when they got to the mat all filthy and covered in coal dust, Oswald gave us one of the greatest Amazing Race moments ever when he chased Phil around, trying to get a hug.
Joe and Bill came in next, leaving it a last place fight between Eric and Danielle and Joyce and Uchenna.
Eric and Danielle convinced some local kids to lead them to their address, while Joyce and Uchenna relied instead on their own uncanny sense of direction which allowed Captain Nipple Rings and Boobin to beat them to the mat.
So this was it for Uchenna and Joyce. That's okay, they've won before. They're not the team I wanted to see leave this week, but at least... what? It's a non-elimination leg!
Carrying over the non-elimination rule that first came into play last season, they got to keep all their money and belongings, but they are now marked for elimination. That means that unless Joyce and Uchenna come in first next week, they will incur a half-hour penalty and will not be allowed to check in until that half-hour is up. It's certainly possible, and I will be keeping my fingers crossed that Eric and Danielle get so lost that they fall a good 31 minutes behind everyone else. Then Joyce and Uchenna can be eliminated the week after that.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 11

The big question this week was, of course, would Surya's unsurpassed management brilliance bring him a third win as project manager?
While the women of Kinetic still like their former teammate, they'd much rather get the win themselves, and this time around it was Kristine's turn to step up, giving her more screen time in one episode than she's really had all season.
It didn't look good for her from the start. The task this week was to do a half-time promotion at a professional soccer match promoting GNC, a vitamin and nutritional supplement company. And as an aside, doesn't it make more sense that the rest of the world calls soccer "football", as there is a lot more connection between feet and the ball than there is in what we call football here? Anyway, the reason things didn't look good for Kristine is that she's done this sort of thing before, doing half-time promotions for an arena football team. Shouldn't that be a good thing? You'd think, but more often that not, when someone on The Apprentice says something is within their field of expertise, they find some way to horribly screw things up so I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen again.
Over on Arrow, driving in the vehicle after getting the assignment, Tim came up with the idea of a story based around a boxing match. Frank picked up on this and they started getting excited about the possibilities. Surya put a damper on their enthusiasm, saying it was a good idea but they should still try to think of others, resulting in rolled eyes and seething resentment.
Unfortunately for them, they didn't come up with anything better, so they went with the boxing.
Kristine's idea for the promotion was to have people dressed up as different vitamins run an obstacle course. I was thinking they should use their Olympic gold medalist somehow, but with a good enough show, they should be able to get by without doing this.
The biggest problem on Kinetic this week was Muna, who kept second-guessing Kristine and expressing concern over the plan, despite the project manager's experience doing these things. Nice try, executive producer Mark Burnett. Make us think that Kinetic might lose and Kristine would take Muna back into the boardroom with her. Classic misdirection.
Despite Muna's concerns, the Kinetic promotion went over smoothly. It was simple but fun, an easy message to get to the hundreds of soccer fans sitting in the stands. Yeah, people kept talking about the "15,000" fans at the game, but there didn't seem to be anywhere near that many watching this all happen. If there were 15,000 people in attendance, I'd hate to think what the lines at the bathrooms were like.
Arrow's show, however... Surya thought it went fantastically, but poor, poor man. It didn't. It was a confusing mess, and so his reign as project manager ended. Poor Surya.
When your goal is to win The Apprentice, you can't get a better reward than something that will let you get face time with the man who will make the final decision, and in this case Kinetic got to have a round of golf with The Donald, and some guy from some golf company who also provided the women each with a brand-new set of clubs. Sadly nobody made a fool of themselves desperately vying for Trump's attention.
I really would have liked it if someone had. As you might have noticed, this has been pretty short. It's not that this season is particularly bad, it's just not the best one we've seen.
The board room was fun. All of Arrow felt Surya should be fired, and he brought James in with him, someone he felt spent too much time covering his own ass, and Tim, who came up with the original boxing idea.
I'm not fond of seeing someone come up with an idea unless all other things are equal, and even then, it boils down to it being the project manager's approval that lets a bad idea go through, so Tim was safe. It came down to Surya's inability to lead this team against James' butt covering, and James did wait until it was way too late to voice his discomfort with the boxing idea. Yes, if you think something's a bad idea, cover your ass, but do so early enough in the process so that things can be changed if necessary. Better still, come up with a decent idea of your own. If nobody accepts it, fine, but at least you tried. That way you have something to really back yourself up with in the board room. With James, it just didn't look good the way he approached it.
There has been criticism that Surya was too repetitive with his points in the board room. He kept repeating his 5-2 record (which includes him as just a team member as well as a PM), but repeating points can often help. He fought hard, and managed to get Tim to admit to James having flaws and covering his ass, even though he still felt Surya should be fired.
But before we get to that, it's time for our weekly feature...
How Did The Winning Project Manager Compare to Heidi?
During the first two weeks of this process, Heidi set the bar for the winning PM and how they do sitting next to Trump in the losing team's board room, and nobody has come close. I'd like to say that Kristine succeeded, but she hardly said a thing. Granted, it would be hard to get a word in the way Surya and James were both defending themselves loudly and repeatedly. It took Trump asking her if she had anything to ask for her to say anything. She did ask a decent question, and she managed to look comfortable there (something not everyone was able to pull off). Heidi is still the champion though.
So Surya was fired, which was no surprise. He was holding his own and possibly even turning the tide in his favour, but then he made the mistake of going too far. He said that with this team in particular, he functions best when he isn't the leader. That so isn't want Trump wants to hear. If you ever, EVER want to be The Apprentice, do not admit to there being any conceivable situation where you couldn't be a leader!
Once the room cleared, The Donald did say he liked how hard Surya fought to stay, something James and Tim both agreed on as they stood watching Surya being driven away. Ah, some respect. Too little, too late, but it was respect. That's always nice to see.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 11

It's episodes like this one that make me wish I was recapping Amazing Race instead of just commenting on it, there was so much juiciness in it (but due to technical difficulties, recapping a show that isn't a talent competition isn't possible). This episode also managed to turn my own competitive reality world upside down. For the first time in two seasons of this show and one season of Survivor, I actually liked Amber. I know she was in another season of Survivor, but I still can't remember her from it.
And it's not just that. I've even softened towards Boston Rob. Damn it, how ironic is it that I've started liking Romber now, this episode of all episodes?
After finishing first yet again at the last pit stop, they were the first to leave on this leg. They would never see first place again, except for in my heart for a short time.
It wasn't like they didn't get off to a good start. At one point, there was a good two hour difference between the teams in the front and the two teams in the back who couldn't get on the first flight, giving those that arrived at the Detour first a pretty decent head start.
The options at the Detour were pretty simple. Sign It or Navigate It. Build a signpost, correctly spelled and in proper order, detailing the stops Magellan took on his historic trip around the world, or follow a simple map to find a man dressed as a sailor, get a compass from him, and follow that directly south.
The map option seemed the easiest to me, but not all the teams took it. Rob and Amber (well, Rob) chose the signpost because Rob builds things, Joyce and Uchenna chose it as well, as did Team Realivision who, though we do love Kandice and Dustin, have their issues with directions and thus this did seem like the better choice.
Speaking of the Beauty Queens, and we always do, they've realized that they haven't been kicking as much ass as they did last season. Part of this problem is that they've been overthinking everything. As soon as I heard that, I knew the haters would have a field day despite it being true. It happened on this task as well. Instead of just doing it as stated on the clue, they started to wonder if all the little signs on the post had to be pointing in the proper direction to the different locations (they didn't). That ate up a lot of time, of course.
While the teams who chose the signpost task worked away at it, the teams that chose the map and compass finished quickly and started heading to their next location where they had to get spots on a charter plane.
Rob was the first at the signpost task to get the correct starting location for Magellan, and he and Amber did well with getting their post finished, but it turns out that Romber has a weakness after all. Spelling. I've no doubt while watching this episode and seeing the camera keep showing us that they spelled "Phillipines" as "Philipeans", they must have fallened to their knees, rending their clothes and shouting, "Curse our semi-literateness!" Why it never occurred to them to double check their spelling against the map they had to copy from after they were first told by the judge that they didn't have it right is beyond me.
Uchenna and Joyce were able to finish their sign correctly after one misstep where they started the voyage at Guam instead of Seville, Spain, the only team on this Detour who were able to do so, and they headed off to their next destination.
Team Realivision were keeping an eye on clock and realized that the two teams behind them would be landing shortly, so they proposed to team up with Rob and Amber to give up on this task and try the navigation.
Normally I'd advise against joining up with the Beauty Queens on any tasks that involve directions, but at this point there was no real choice. I don't know why they didn't change tasks earlier, something Amber tried to convince Rob to do but he stubbornly refused.
So they headed off, but still struggled. As they were trying to find the sailor, Joe and Bill ("the Guidos", a team name I don't understand) showed up and passed them. Ouch. Luckily Mirna and Charla decided to do Sign It, which resulted in Charla trying to carry supplies while Mirna screamed at her. Of course, if Charla didn't try to help, Mirna would have screamed at her. If we were to get to see what goes on at the Pit Stop, I'm sure we'd be treated to Mirna screaming at Charla there. "THAT'S MY SANDWICH! DON'T TOUCH MY SANDWICH, CHARLA! GO GET YOUR OWN! I NEED SOME MILK, COME WITH ME, CHARLA! HURRY! HURRY! STOP EATING THOSE CHIPS SO LOUDLY!"
That Mirna is such a delight.
Meanwhile, back at Navigate It, the Guidos got their clue and our little alliance of Romber and the Beauty Queens got their compasses. However, instead of following the directions, they decided to keep using the map.
Dustin and Kandice, you know I love you, but your sense of direction is going to kill me before this season is over. But if anyone's going to mess up "head straight south" while they've got a compass in their hand...
So, let's look at what did in Rob and Amber this episode. Stubborness, spelling, and teaming with the Beauty Queens when directions are important.
By this point in the race, it was safe to bed that Rob and Amber were going to miss first place for the first time this season. But were things going so bad that they'd get eliminated?
Rob wasn't used to being this far behind, and he wasn't happy having to take the later charter flight. Unlike those racers who are ecstatic when they have to take the later plane, bus, train, boat, or horse-drawn carriage.
Next stop - the end of the world. Teams had to travel to the southern most tip of Argentina, which just so happens to be the southern most tip of South America. To be so close to penguins, yet so far...
The clues weren't done yet. Racers had to find the clue box that would lead them to boats that would take them to the Road Block. It was here that I finally liked Amber. She and Rob overshot the clue box, and Mirna and Charla followed right behind them. Nothing new there. However, when they realized they must have missed it, Romber turned around and with their last clue still in their hands, Amber said "Got it!" as they walked past Team Undermedicated. Mirna suspected a lie, because she's allegedly an attorney and is used to people lying. This threw me for a loop. Somewhere, somehow, Mirna practices law? The hilarious images that brings forth are highly entertaining, including how often she must have been jailed for contempt of court for screaming at judges. And really, should a lawyer be getting high and mighty about other people not living up to the moral code she expects in people who aren't her?
It got even better at the pier. Charla went up to Amber and asked why she lied (because it's a friggin' game, dumbass, and they don't want to be in last place). Amber told her she was talking to Rob, and when she said "Got it!" she meant that she realized where the clue box was. Lovely.
Joyce and Uchenna went down a little in my book though. Before Charla and Mirna arrived at the pier, they were laughing as much as anyone else at the "Got it!" lie, but afterwards they got almost as sniffy about it as Team Undermedicated.
The Road Block this leg was the ever-popular needle in a haystack kind of challenge. One member of each team had to sort through a huge bag of mail of 1600 envelopes to find one of two letters addressed to them, then read the letter which was from a team from their original season. The team would then have to search the island for the Pit Stop where someone may be eliminated. It seems a little early for a non-elimination leg, but this is All-Stars. You never know what they might pull (like never getting out of South America until the final leg, but with everyone this far south, I'd really love to see the race go through Antarctica).
Oswald and Danny got through the envelopes and to the mat to become the first non-Romber team of the season to get first place. After that, the only thing to note outside of Rob/Amber/Charla/Mirna was that the Beauty Queens got a letter from one of the members of their biggest rivals last season, Lyn from Alabama. Her teammate was either unable or unwilling to put the anger behind her, proving that Lyn was the more reasonable half of that team (which was pretty obvious while watching). Anyway, that was pretty cool.
Rob and Amber and Charla and Mirna weren't quite so lucky. Their letters were quite hateful, and there's no need for that. Once the season is over, let go of the hate. Rob and Amber are just very competitive and aren't above sabotaging other players, but hey, it is a game. If Charla and Mirna were as insane their first time out, that would explain their hateful missive. It's bad enough to be the bottom two teams, but to get this kick in the teeth too?
I don't know why Charla didn't do this Roadblock as it wasn't particularly physical and if they defy the odds and stay around for several more legs, she should end up having to do a task that doesn't suit her physical limitations. There isn't much in the way of strategy in The Amazing Race, but when it comes to Road Blocks where only one team member can compete and each person has to do half the tasks, if one team member is more physically capable, use the other on tasks that aren't so physical. But on the other hand, Mirna did finish this task before Rob, giving her and her cousin a head start to the mat. Enough of a head start, it turned out.
As much as I finally started to like Rob and Amber for the first time, it was still pretty fun to see them get beat by an insane lawyer and her little person cousin. I may not like Charla and Mirna, but they are damned entertaining and it would be great to see them beat Eric and Danielle next, the most boring team left this season. At least in his first season, Eric had Jeremy as his partner and the homoerotic subtext of that team and they way they tried to hide it by talking about girls all the time helped make them fun. And he was part of the team that called and cancelled other people's cabs! This Eric isn't like that! Now the most entertaining thing about him is wondering when we'll get to see his pierced nipples next!
Oh, Rob and Amber. From three straight first place finishes to eliminated in their worst place finish in any of their shows. Now they'll have to go back to struggling on one of their other 30 or so reality shows and living off of Amber's Survivor: All-Stars winnings.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired March 8

Last week it was all about the idiots, and there was more of that this week, but there was also some sexism (which is just a form of idiocy in itself) and even some glimmerings of intelligence from some people who realized that there is more to Survivor than the challenges.
While there is still nobody to really get behind and cheer on, at least those with the glimmerings are giving us people we'd rather see over some of the other horrible players this season, and oh, there are some horrible players.
Due to their domination in every competition, we haven't met too much of Moto, but we finally got to learn what a wonderful bunch of loveable winners they really are. Of the seven people left in their tribe, five are in an alliance, leaving two in the wilderness. Alex did the math and realized that if they merge at ten people, "Dreamz" and Cassandra could well join the remaining Ravu members, tying the numbers at five and five. Oooh, good catch. The problem is, his alliance is comprised mostly of jerks. Yes, I'm keeping my language clean for you, my PG readers. Yes, those jerks were treating "Dreamz" and Cassandra like poo. We see it time and again, an alliance gets a numbers advantage and the power goes to their heads, but rarely does it seem to get as dehumanizing as this. At most, those in the minority are left to do more than their share of work, but what we saw here was beyond ridiculous.
The worst offenders appeared to be Lisi and Stacy, though "Boo" was getting his fair share of assholeness in with those two. Really, would it have killed them to let Cassandra have better than just the coffee grounds?
With the possibility of "Dreamz" and Cassandra joining forces with the remaining Ravuites, perhaps, just maybe, possibly they should consider treating those two a little better. Edgardo agreed, but the other three showed a complete lack of forsight and saw no reason to do this. Putting the game aside, and how often do I do this, but an even better reason to treat them better is that they are human beings, and it would do one well in life to realize this and show some humanity. "Why should we start treating them well?" Because, if nothing else, you're showing yourselves to be assholes on international television.
So good job figuring out the numbers, Alex and Edgardo, but you started to lose me when some sexism crept into your discussion. They called "Boo" stupid, but said that Lisi and Stacy were being "irrational", because that's how women are, you know. If they called all three stupid, or all three irrational, I'd be fine with it. But when it's just the women being described with a word that's been used to belittle women's intelligence for centuries, well you kinda start to lose me.
Well, here's a bit of irrationality coming from a woman - just being nice to the two outcasts isn't going to do a bit of good now. Nobody wants to play for sixth and seventh place. Before you started being assholes, you should have been making "Dreamz" and Cassandra feel like they were equal parts of your tribe and your alliance. Even if Lisi, Stacy, and "Boo" bought into the idea that treating human beings as human beings might be a decent (in both of its common definitions) idea, it's too late to make a difference. I'd know that even if "Dreamz" didn't tell us that he and Cassandra were planning on going to Ravu as soon as the merge happens.
I want to see Moto lose a challenge, and that's got nothing to do with all of this, and it's certainly nothing to do with wanting to see Ravu, the not-so-plucky underdogs winning. I'm just tired of seeing Moto walk away with everything.
In the immunity challenge, it almost happened. Not so much the reward challenge where it wasn't even close. They had to pair up against each other, and with big cushions, knock their opponents off a platform into some mud, first to seven points wins. "Rocky" called out "Dreamz", only to have him knock him off in a matter of seconds. The only Ravu tribe member to win in their round was Yau-Man, who knocked off Stacy. And so Moto got their third set of fishing gear, some potatoes, the aforementioned coffee, and some toiletries. and Ravu got nothing.
Despite all we've seen at Moto, it was likely that Ravu was going to go to Tribal Council again because we saw too much of them too. Anthony has been on the edge of being voted out for a while now, but someone new has been getting under "Rocky's" skin. Rita. You see, it turns out Rita likes to talk, and when she talks, it's all about somewhat shallow girly stuff, and this drove "Rocky" crazy. You see, when he's having conversations with people, it's all about the economic ramifications of the Kyoto accord vs. the imminent threat of global warming on Earth's delicate biosphere and the non-renewable nature of fossil fuels. Or at least that's what you'd assume from how affronted he was by Rita's assault on his ears. I strongly suspect his conversation rarely veers from cars, sports, and boobies, but I wouldn't say that because that would be stereotyping and that's just wrong.
Week after week, the most negative influence in the Ravu tribe has been "Rocky". I don't get how they're not voting him out yet. It's obvious that this tailoring for strength thing hasn't been working (especially when they're voting out Erica over Yau-Man because she got frustrated in one challenge). They should be trying something different and getting the negativity out of camp, and "Rocky" is the place to start for that.
Sure enough Ravu lost the immunity challenge. They managed to get within one point of winning their first competition but managed to blow it as always. The most frustrating part is that they should have won! It was basically an oversized version of Concentration, you know, where you have cards or other images turned face down and you have to match pairs by remembering what is where. In this version, it was all numbers and words turned over. Near the end, most of the pairs were matched up, and there were a few dummy choices where there weren't pairs, but enough was turned over that it should have been very easy to remember what was where. "Okay, they just turned over a 9, and it was between that one and that one, five over from the side." Easy, right? Sure, if you're not a member of Ravu.
Well, there was some jockeying for votes back at camp and there seemed be enough of a majority to vote off Anthony, but this wouldn't be Survivor: Fiji if they voted off a man while there are still women left in the tribe. Of course it was Rita's turn! If Michelle is shocked about leaving next week (no spoiler, it's pure guesswork based on voting patterns), she will obviously not have been paying attention.
This is five women in a row voted off. I've no doubt that's a Survivor record. I don't even have to double check it, that's how sure I am. Other Survivor records this season include the longest the hidden immunity idol has gone without being found, and of course the most challenge losses in a row by any one tribe. Even Ulong in Palau won a couple of rewards, their first in episode two. Heck, judging by the previews of the next episode, I wouldn't doubt the producers have invoked what they might call "the Palau Contingency", a mixing of the tribes if one is overpowering the other and winning all the immunities.
Something else of note. There hasn't been a single unanimous vote at tribal council yet (and when I say "unanimous", I mean everyone except the person going home). Michelle should be particularly concerned, because not only is she the last woman on Ravu, but she's also the only one other than Rita who voted for Anthony.

Survivor won't be on next week. It will be returning Wednesday, March 21, so don't miss it.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired March 4

Last week it was the Sandys all to themselves, this week it's the Dannys, and with the less talented of the two groups performing, you know it's going to be a great time for everyone. I would also like to let you know the sacrifice I've been making for this blog.
I'm currently able to only record one show and watch another. Grease is on at the same time as The Amazing Race here. They are both also on at the same time as The Simpsons, which has been airing new episodes. Yes, I'm recording friggin' Grease: You're The One That I Want instead of new Simpsons episodes! What kind of monster has this blog made of me?!? This show entertains me, but really, this is too much.
But I will stick it out to the bitter end, despite Billy Bush! If you watch The Office (and really, if you don't, why aren't you?) you'll be very familiar with how cringe-inducing Michael's attempts at jokes are, and it's that cringe-worthiness that's funny. Not with Billy Bush. When he tries to be funny, you just cringe. I even wrote down in my notes, "Billy Bush still an idiot." I can't even remember what he said, just that it was worthy of that note.
My bellyaching aside, let's get to the show.
The opening number was "Greased Lightning" with some horribly cleaned up language.
"You know without a doubt we'll be really makin' out in Greased Lightning!"
Yeah, it's American network television (language restrictions are much more relaxed in Canada, where The Sopranos aired on broadcast television uncut (though at least you guys make great shows like The Office and The Simpsons, and we make Corner Gas)), but that was still lame.
The one thing about watching this number is it became very clear that there are no John Travoltas amongst the remaining Dannys, or even any Jeff Conaways. He played Kenickie in the movie. There is more raw sexuality in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants than there was on stage this night. But that's just me. The audience full of screaming 14-year-old girls loved it, and hooo boy, they were screaming.
What has become one of my favourite parts of the show is the videos where we get to see egos on display and the contestants smacktalking each other. Usually it's all about how everyone is friends and we all love one another, so this makes for a nice change. Apparently Chad is really talked about poorly by the rest of the guys!
No! No gossip here! Even though it's still fun to see. Tee hee!
Oh, and the panel is three people again, and there were absolutely no special guests this week. It's possible word about the show has gotten around, and nobody wants to work with Billy Bush.
Austin - It seems that all the guys have things they've had to work on, and for Austin, it was loosening up and allowing himself to be more comedic. So he went to the Groundlings theatre with some of the Sandys (who seemed to go with most of the guys on these excursions) where he got some lessons from one of the members of that troupe.
His song this week was "Fun Fun Fun", and it was anything but. Yes, he was trying, but he was trying too hard and left me flat. The screamers enjoyed it, but that's because they enjoy a man twice their age on stage in a too-tight shirt dancing around. Hell, we've all been there, and I'm sure I'm not alone in going to a motel with the guy.
David had fun looking at the Sandys who were dancing with Austin, like we really believe David looks at women (I kid, he's married with two children). He's still not convinced with Austin, and wants to see more of a twinkle in his eye. Jim said it felt forced, but he too was partially distracted by the women (which I believe, because he's been lusting after the Sandys since the season premiere). Kathleen disagreed with them, which makes me wonder about her judging abilities now. She said she thought it was great and that he was loose and goofy. She loves his attack and energy.
Derek - After the huge crack in his song two weeks ago, his trip was to a vocal therapist to avoid that happening again.
He sang "Heaven", the Bryan Adams song, and I liked his performance even though there was a hint of a crack in it again at one point, but not as horrifying as the previous time.
Kathleen said Derek redeemed himself, but he needs to show a more unpredictable side. Jim said it was a solid performance, though he questioned if he heard a crack or if it was just Derek's song styling. David said it was definitely a crack, and thought the approach to the song was safe and boring. He needs to work on his vocals, something David sees as a worry.
Max - Max's goal was to work on his physicality, and to do this, he went to a gym and spent some time in a boxing ring. Unfortunately he didn't do any actual sparring, as that would have livened things up somewhat. It was entertaining to hear the pseudo-Rocky music. It was close enough to invoke the music of the movie, but they didn't have to pay for the rights. Everyone wins!
He sang "Hard To Handle", and it was easily one of the best "rock" performances of the series. It still wasn't completely believable rock and roll, but it was enough to make this the performance of the night.
Oh yeah. This is where Billy Bush said, "Crummbelievable!" I'll leave you to ponder that one for a moment.




David was impressed. "Wow, what a transformation!" Yes, Max has an "unconventional look" (a nice way of saying, "not very attractive"), but he has pure talent and he hopes Broadway can accept him as the next sex symbol. Out with it, David! Just call him a horrifying mutant who can sing and dance! You know you want to!
Jim said it's been building with Max, and yes, he has lots of talent. He loved the performance. Kathleen thought it was fun to see him strut and sneer, and she sees him more and more each week as a Danny Zuko.
Chad - His issue was trying to fill a theatre with his presence, so he used Shakespeare and a UCLA professor to help them with that. It helped that Chad's the best actor of the remaining Dannys, something we know because he told us so.
He sang "Don't Stop Me Now", and I liked it. It was the second best performance of the night, I thought anyway. But then I also think Chad looks like a young Donny Osmond, but without the 70s hair.
Kathleen saw a leading man, but he was vocally in and out and she wants to see him make the songs more his own. Jim thinks he's too pretty looking (having struck out with the Sandys, Jim seems to have moved on to the Dannys), so he needs to toughen up. Maybe if they cut his face or something. Yes, that's what he said and I found it quite funny. Certainly funnier than anything Billy has said all season. David said it wasn't the greatest vocal performance, but that pretty looking guy would sell millions of tickets. Yeah, because "pretty" outsells "talent" all the time on Broadway.
Oh. Maybe it does. It certainly works a lot in Hollywood.
Because there was no special guest this week, there was time for some more video, and we got a look into what a week is like for the contestants. Despite my snarking, they do work hard to get ready for each Sunday. On Monday mornings they get an envelope with the song they're to perform, which they have to learn and practise. On Wednesday they have a vocal coach and a choreography coach. There are also the wardrobe fittings, which in itself takes time away from rehearsing their songs and choreography. Show days are the most hectic of the lot. That may not sound like much, but getting ready to perform a number on live, national television as well as learning the opening number? All that rehearsing is where all the hardest work is.
Finally we came to the bottom two. Who would it be this week? Kathleen and Allie, that's who, making it three weeks in a row for Kathleen. If this was based on votes along, Allie would be the one to go home.
With no time to compose themselves, it was right on to the song, "Raining On Prom Night". The song itself, one of my favourites on the Grease soundtrack, is a little silly in its lyrics, but it works best when the singer approaches it seriously, which is why I liked Allie's version better than Kathleen's, though they both have strong, beautiful voices.
There was a commercial, and when we came back we got to see how the two of them reacted to being in the bottom two, but that's pretty much the same thing every week. The panel was polled as to who they thought the best Danny was this week, and Max was the unanimous choice.
Then David had to do the dirty work. The woman he was about to save was Jim and Kathleen's choice, not his, but the one staying was Allie.
I liked Kathleen, but it will be nice to not have to distinguish between Judge Kathleen and Contestant Kathleen anymore. She has a great voice and lots of potential, so there is no reason she can't have a career on stage.
As has become customary now, we heard another touching version of "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" when Kathleen sang her last song. I have to think that it's a combination of the real emotion they're feeling combined with the relaxation of not having to compete, but this has been one of the best songs the Sandys have been singing for a few weeks now.
They've also been working closely enough that we're starting to see more tears coming from the remaining Sandys too, which adds to the poignancy of this number.
But damn it, I'm still missing The Simpsons for this.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 4

Did you know that Donald Trump has been appearing on WWE Raw? He's going to be at Wrestlemania with his chosen wrestler going up against Vince McMahon's chosen wrestler. The winner gets to shave the loser's head. Does anyone really think that Trump would allow his head to be shaven? It would be interesting to see.
More interesting than this episode was shaping up to be, but then things happened to make it one of the most unusual Apprentices yet.
After winning the task last week, Surya got to stay on as project manager of Arrow, demonstrating how that twist can completely skew everything this season. You can be sure his team isn't happy about this, but what can they do? Deliberately blow a task? Too risky. This is one twisted twist. Keep winning, the project manager gets most of the credit. Deliberately lose, you stand a good chance of going.
Of course, you could end up going just because you said the wrong thing. More on that soon.
Over on Kinetic, Jenn wanted to take her turn managing the team. After everything that happened last week, she wanted to step up to the challenge as most people do and should after they're brought into the boardroom after a loss and manage to survive.
Derek was please with Aimee being fired last time, and he felt that all they needed to do now is get rid of last of the "riff-raff" who just so happens to have been Jenn. With that done, then their team would truly excel.
The task this week was to create a special owner experience for the newest model Lexus. Simple enough, one would think.
Kinetic was struggling for ideas. They came up with the theme, "Come Experience Your Sixth Sense of Luxury," but nothing beyond that. Angela was put in charge of creativity though the whole team was brainstorming. Hey! I know! Instead of a "sixth sense of luxury", how about a "gold medal experience" and use your Olympic gold medallist to sell the idea of excellence? Instead, they come up with a magician (not bad, if done correctly (so of course it wasn't)), and go-karts. Yes, go-karts. Derek threw it out as an idea, as people do in brainstorming sessions, and Jenn jumped on it despite everyone else on the team - including Derek - hating it.
Here's the thing... You don't always need activities, especially when it's going to be nothing but adults there. I may be wrong, but I suspect they'd be able to go an afternoon without playing. Oh, I'm sure in most people's minds Lexus equals go-karts, but unless they're gold-plated and chauffeur-driven, they're not likely going to go over too well here.
As for Arrow, well, I don't know and I don't care what they were up to. Surya was driving them crazy, the rest were doing stuff, the two what's-their-faces were romancing, blah blah blah. They had a spiffy looking presentation with lots of luxury balloons and luxury foods in a luxurious setting, and other than a car battery dying from overuse, everything went rather well with nobody seemingly getting bored with no activities.
Andrea and Derek at Kinetic were having trouble with signage, Andrea particularly not being able to make up her mind and the deadline coming and going. This was a disaster in the making, so we have a very good idea of who is likely going to be going back in the board room (as soon as Jenn settled on go-karts, you know they were heading there). Fortunately for them, despite missing the deadline for guaranteed sign delivery, the signs did arrive in time, but they weren't of the standard they were hoping for.
Oh dear. Without fully luxurious signs, how were they going to spiff up their luxuriious crappy ass tents with the luxurious go-kart track outside? And don't even get me started on the luxurious magician! Hey, at least the luxurious magician didn't appear to work blue, making him a better choice than the comedian someone whose name I forget hired a season or two back (who was okay as a comedian, but she was entirely inappropriate for the audience).
Yes, it was all crappy ass luxury, compared to Arrow who had an event that lived up to what we'd expect to see, though why they didn't have pony rides and a petting zoo is beyond me. Anyway, chalk up another win for Surya, the project manager of the season!
It wasn't all bad for certain members of Kinetic. When talking to the Lexus executives, Trumpipoo asked if anyone on the team stood out, and they said that Heidi and Muna were both stars and their product knowledge was amazing. That was a sigh of relief, as they seemed so over the top in their acquiring of that knowledge that for a moment it seemed like they may have been the ones destined for the board room. I guess when it comes to product knowledge, if you're hoping to sell the product, there is no such thing as too much.
Despite the glowing words from the executives, Donaldkins asked Heidi what had happened to her, going from a superstar to being on a team that's losing too often. This lead to more glowing words from her teammates who made it very clear that Heidi was in no way responsible for the loss and that in her assigned area, she excelled.
She really needs another shot at project manager, but there are people on her team who haven't had a chance yet, so it's not likely going to happen yet.
Seeing that we're already on the subject of Heidi, let's do our weekly comparison of the winning PM's boardroom ability to that standard set by Heidi the first two weeks.
Honestly, I wasn't even sure Surya was there at first until we got a good camera angle. Trump even got to the point where he asked him if he was going to say anything at all, prompting Surya to spout out a question. Interestingly, the previous Apprentice winner who was Donald's eyes and ears this week was old Squidward himself, Randall (or is it Randal? I don't care, because he was the one who didn't want to share the spotlight with Rebecca a couple of seasons back, the last time there were two clear choices for the title) spoke a little too much, and Trump asked him to be quiet at one point so he could say something. Ha! You should have said yes to Rebecca!
I like the idea of the winning PM being in the boardroom, but I'm wishing there was more turnover in the position now so we could see how more people handle it.
Talking to the losing team, The Donald was asking Derek a question, I can't remember what, when Derek referred to himself as "white trash". Trump did not like this, and he doesn't want anyone working for him who refers to themselves like that, even if they're joking, so he fired Derek right there.
Dang. And there was still a good 10 minutes left, which means it was likely someone else was going to go. We've seen double and even quadruple firings before, but it's always at the same time. It's never like that. Derek took it good naturedly, hey, it's only The Apprentice and it's not like any of these people are hurting for money going in as they tend to be fairly successful before being selected.
You know what? That would be an awesome season of The Apprentice. Instead of taking people who are already successful, take a group of intelligent hard workers who, for whatever reason, haven't been particularly successful. People who would be very hungry for this opportunity. Now that would be a season worth watching. Granted, the job at the end couldn't have as much responsibility, but give them something that would be better than anything they've done before and would give them the chance to learn skills that would vastly improve their employability.
Anyway, once Derek was gone, there was some apprehension in the room. What just happened? Is this over? Can we go now? Well, it wasn't over yet. Trumpster had more to say and more to ask. When he wondered who Jenn was going to going to bring with her, she wanted Andrea and, unfortunately, Derek. They were the creative staff and she saw it as their fault that they lost. She may have succeeded in saving her butt if she hadn't been so insistant on the go-karts. How can she ever enjoy them again, knowing they cost her this "job interview"?
Yeah, Jenn was fired. One thing the rest of her team wanted Trump and her to know was that they respect her, they just think she didn't do a good job on this task. After she was fired, Muna made sure she knows they respect her. It was okay though, Jenn took the firing very well. It's nice to see people realize they're only on a competitive reality show competing for a chance to work for Donald Trump. Unlike Aimee's ouster last week, this one ended with smiles and hugs and good wishes.
Wait a minute! No, that's not nice! Damn it, this is The Apprentice!
Next week we'd better see some anger and bile again.