Season's Greetings from Realivision!

With the finale of Survivor, we have no more competitive reality shows to cover until The Apprentice: Los Angeles debuts January 7, 2007. That, and the new show debuting the same day that's got everyone buzzing around the Realivision offices... Grease: You're The One That I Want. Thank you, Santa! Dreams really do come true!

So whether you celebrate the Winter Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Cthulu's Feast Of 1000 Souls And Tentacle-Faced Hootenanny, have a happy holiday season and we'll see you in the New Year.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Dec. 17 - Commentary

What? It's over already? Damn! That means no more strategizing. Ummmmm... So, what did you think of the season?
No. I can do better than that.
What was your favourite memory?
NO!
Okay, let's just look back at the finale. Yeah, that'll do.
Adam somehow started growing something in his cranial cavity in his last couple of days on the island. It may have even been the start of a rudimentary brain of some sort. Even though it wouldn't have helped him out at all, his plan to get Yul to part with the hidden immunity idol was fundamentally a good one for the three people going up against him at the end, but unfortunately this whole "thinkin'" thing is still just too new to him, so he was unable to bring that plan to fruition (or, if you're Ozzy, to fruit). It would have been hard enough for a person of average intelligence, or hell, even a genius, to make the Aitu Four turn on Yul, and it was just plain impossible for someone whose nervous system is incapable of keeping his tongue in his mouth.
That first spark of life in Adam's head did seem to spark a small ember of growing awareness at his last Tribal Council (enjoy the fire analogies now, because they won't be relevant at all when we get to the fire making challenge that comes later). As much as I like the Aitu Four and was happy to see an alliance make it intact to the final four for once, I did enjoy how Adam's comments seemed to be causing discomfort in them. Frankly, it was stupid not to force Yul to give up the immunity. Ozzy was likely going to win the next challenge anyway, so taking Yul out of the picture would have given Becky and Sundra more of a chance of winning.
Oh, who am I kidding? Neither of them had a chance. But before getting to that, I have to say I was very impressed with Sundra in the final immunity. She was doing quite well, and I was actually on the edge of my seat for once each time Ozzy looked like he might fall. Hell, I was hoping he would, because that would have really shaken things up. But it didn't happen, and Ozzy once more and for the final time won individual immunity. It was nice to have it be interesting though. I also have to admit I was wrong again. In my last commentary, I thought Becky would have had more of a chance in the final challenge than Sundra, but she showed me up by going out there and kicking my prediction's ass.
However, I also made an argument in Becky's favour when it came to playing the game, and none other than Jeff Probst agreed with me. She was a much more integral part of Aitu's strategy than people gave her credit for, including the jury. Especially the jury.
Even if anyone on the jury was leaning towards voting for Becky and Sundra, whoever made it through the last elimination, they did a good job pushing those inclinations away with the most embarrassing tie-breaker ever. Yes, I know they were nervous, but other people have been nervous in the same situation and still managed to start a fire with the flint. Sundra couldn't even do it with matches! The good news is that the two of them managed to earn themselves a lifetime of never being arson suspects.
I was glad to see Becky make it through that tie-breaker. Of the two, she was more into playing the game, and even though not taking Yul's offer of the hidden immunity seemed crazy at first, it made perfect sense. She was going to have a hard enough time winning the jury over anyway, but taking that idol would have sealed her fate. Not that her lackluster arguments at the end didn't have the same effect. It's million dollar time! Stop playing nice!
Going a little bit backwards in time now, I do like that Ozzy wanted to see the tie-breaker. Considering how tight this alliance has been, it was a very fitting way to end it. It really didn't matter which of the two won, it was going to be an Ozzy/Yul showdown anyway.
And that brings me to the "final three" concept. It seemed like an interesting twist, but unless Adam made it to the end with Yul and Ozzy, it was still going to be a final two with one very sad looking hanger-on. I know I've said it already, but neither Becky nor Sundra stood a chance, though Becky had more arguments in her favour. Not that she would have been able to overcome the juries conceptions. I wonder why that's why her arguments were so lackluster. She probably saw the writing on the wall from the beginning. Damn, it was hard not to feel sorry for her from the start of the jury questioning to the moment the last vote was read.
It would have been nice if she got one vote, then we would have seen another tie-breaker, which would have been another fitting end. But nope, Yul got that last vote, and congratulations to him!
Yul certainly deserved his win (though I don't think any winner ever didn't deserve it, but some have worked harder than others). People may argue somewhat derogatorily that he may not have won without the hidden idol, and that's likely true, but it doesn't take away from his win. It's not that he had the idol, it's that he used it smartly. Look at Terry last season. He had an Ozzy-like domination of immunity challenges, and he had the hidden immunity idol. But he also lost. Why? Because he didn't use the hidden idol at all. It was just there as back-up in case he lost a competition. Aitu may have been a tight alliance this year, but Terry's alliance pretty much worshipped him. He could have used the idol to turn the numbers in his alliance's favour, and it would have been a much different end to the season.
That's why Yul deserved to win. He used the idol to flip a 5-4 against disadvantage into a 5-4 for advantage, and his alliance never had to look back after that. (For the record, Realivision wasn't around last season but on the boards I frequented I argued a lot that Terry didn't deserve to win because of his mishandling of the hidden idol, so I was very happy to see Yul demonstrate how it should be done.)
Terry also works as a comparison to Ozzy as both of them dominated in the individual immunity challenges. In the finale, Ozzy talked about playing alone, but if it weren't for his alliance he likely wouldn't have made it to the end. Thanks to Yul turning the numbers in their favour, when Adam won the individual immunity Ozzy was still safe. Assuming Raro could have mustered up enough cognitive thought between them, that would have (should have) been the end of Ozzy's game if they still had the numbers advantage.
Urgh. That's two seasons in a row now where one person has dominated challenges. If it happens again next time, it's going to get very boring.
I'm not going to get into the reunion show. It was okay, but there was nothing particularly jaw-dropping. The biggest disappointment in the whole three hours was that we were once again robbed of cheesy footage making it look like Probst travelled from the island straight to the studio. Ah, those were the days. Why did you stop doing that, Jeff Probst and Mark Burnett? Why? WHY?!?!
Maybe it's something we can look into while we wait for the premiere of Survivor: Fiji. Until then, we can just enjoy the fact that we just got a pretty damned good season. If you enjoy rooting for an underdog, it couldn't get any better than this.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Dec. 14 - Commentary

So I've been arguing that the Aitu Four should stick together until all of Raro has been eliminated. I was wrong. It really is in the best interests of Yul, Sundra and Becky to vote out Ozzy the first chance they get now. With Pavrty gone and Adam as the lone Raro left, they can now afford to get rid of Ozzy.
Pavrarti, as it turned out, was the biggest threat left from Raro. If anyone was going to swing anyone in Aitu, it was going to be her. Becky and Sundra appear to be immune to Adam's considerable charms... HA! Damn, I was almost able to keep a straight face at the end of that sentence! Okay, it's easy for Becky and Sundra to be immune to Adam. He's not a bad looking guy, but apart from not being the smartest monkey in the barrel, I surely can't be the only woman in the world who can't stand that he can't seem to keep his tongue restrained to the confines of his mouth.
As for Yul, forget his loyalty, he smart enough to know he should go to the final three with Becky and Sundra. Even if Ozzy decides to make a move now with Adam, what kind of move could they make?
The next tribal council should be an easy one. If Ozzy wins immunity, vote out Adam. If Adam wins, vote out Ozzy. If neither wins, vote out Ozzy because it's now time to get him out the first moment he's vulnerable.
All that said, there is still once chance for Adam and Ozzy. They need to get together and work on Sundra. Open her eyes to how tight Yul and Becky are. She'd be stupid to go for it, as her best chance at final two (unless there is a final three at the final Tribal Council as it looks like there might be) is to go to the final three with Yul and Becky. Becky's been fiercely loyal to Yul so far, but both she and Sundra must realize that their best chance of winning this game is to go to the end together, and with Survivor's history of final immunity challenges requiring balance and/or stamina, between the two of them they'd have a good chance of winning that final competition. Well, Becky moreso than Sundra.
Actually, their best chance of winning would be to go up against Adam. Hmmmmm. Yul is safe at the next Tribal Council, but after that his hidden idol is no longer any good. If Ozzy goes next, it would be a toss-up after that whether they should vote off Adam or Yul. The biggest problem with taking Adam is that there are so many Raro members in the jury that it would really be tough to beat him, unless there are enough people who are still pissed off that they went before Jonathan. Brad, Jenny, and Rebecca are going to be tough to predict when it comes to their votes. Nate, Candice (the evil one, not the tough and awesome Kandice from Amazing Race, just to make that clear) and Porvraty would easily vote for Adam at the end. Jonathan is another tough call.
Ooooh, this is good. So many possibilities! This is what I love about Survivor!
Adam needs to get together with Ozzy, and both of them need to work on Sundra.
Ozzy, well, see above.
Sundra and Becky need to work together on their end game. Becky, unfortunately for her, may be too loyal to Yul and seems to be resolute on her plan to get to the final two with him. They do need to get Ozzy out, but then face a very tough choice after that, because neither of them could beat Adam or Yul at this point.
Yul is good to go through the next Tribal Council. After that, he needs to win immunity. I can't see the hidden idol do anything more than keep him safe one last time. The only way for it to come into play would be if a majority decides to vote for him just to force its use, but that would be a pointless exercise at this late point in the game.
Finally, I'd like to make an argument in Becky's favour. She and Sundra seem to be viewed as riding coattails through this season (something I still see as a valid strategy, with its biggest evil being that it's kind of boring to watch). That accusation seems to be valid in Sundra's case, but not Becky's. Sure, she hasn't been a threat at competitions, but few people have been with Ozzy in the picture. However, she has been one of the leaders in the alliance. Yul may have been a lot more visible, but Becky has been a strong voice.
It wasn't Yul who wanted Jonathan out last week. And who convinced him this week that Ozzy needs to go? Don't mistake lack of air time as not having an effect on the game. As for those on the island, Yul having the hidden idol has been an influence on how they view him, and I can't help thinking a small dose of sexism comes into it too. He's the guy! Of course he's the leader! He is a leader, but he shares much more of that role with Becky than people give her credit for. That's good for staying safe, but in the end it could cost her a million dollars.

The Amazing Race - Aired Dec. 10 - Commentary

It's all finally over. After four continents and over 40,000 miles, we finally... ARGH! I can't pretend I didn't see it! What the hell is up with James' dad's eyebrows? Those are the freakiest damned things I've ever seen! I really wish I could bring a screen shot of those unnaturally long and elevated clumps of hair. It's a good thing I'll never meet him, as I don't think I'd be able to talk without staring. No wonder James got into drugs, what with the spectre of those alien brows haunting him his whole life!
Okay, that's out of my system. Congratulations James and Tyler, the Junkie Models. Of the final three, you were the least offensive of the possible winners so you did us proudish.
It was a race though once they got to New York. A race between two teams. The Single Moms didn't have a chance. When they couldn't make that direct flight to New York, the game was over for them. Even if they made it, there was no chance in Krispy Kreme hell that they would have been able to beat either of the other teams in a foot race of two miles. If they made it to New York in time, their only possible chance was a horrifically bad cab driver.
Oh god, those eyebrows...
For a season finale, it was a pretty boring episode overall. It had its moments, but it wasn't as good as the best episodes of the season. If there was another reason for wanting the Miss Americas in the final three, the friction between them and the other teams would have heated things up. At least we had Rob and Kimberley, they can always be counted on for a meltdown or two to keep us entertained. The Single Moms unfortunately were almost as bland as the Junkie Models without their archenemies to keep them agitated.
I'm sorry if this is all seeming disjointed and all over the place. I'm still a little freaked out. Couldn't he trim them? A small pair of scissors would make all the difference. As it is all I can think of is that long, black hair that shouldn't be that long, and it's keeping me from being able to establish any sort of cohesive, coherent narrative.
Let's see...
Boring? Check.
Two bland teams? Check.
Lease offensive winners? Check.
Single Moms didn't have a chance? Check.
Obligatory reference to Dustin and Kandice, the Miss Americas? Check.
Nightmarish brows? Check.
There really isn't much else. It was all over anticlimatic. I'd much rather see a Road Block or Detour just before the final mat. What did we get this season? Run two miles to a statue then take a cab. Oooooooooh! Goosebumps!
It was still enjoyable though, and it could have been much worse. For a while there it was looking like Rob and Kimberley would be the only team to catch the direct flight to New York, and short of some frantic editing it would have been a final one taking a leisurely stroll through the Big Apple. It sure was lucky that some seats opened up for James and Tyler so we were able to have an actual race at the end. Yeah, lucky.
Ah, sweet memories of Rob and Amber's plane actually backing up and reopening its doors so that Joyce and Uchenna could get on. That one took some clout. This time it could have been nothing more than the producers paying off a couple of passengers to get their seats. Maybe they bought them nicer seats on a later flight. That could do it. But I have no doubt there were some behind-the-scenes shenanigans in order to keep suspense levels up.
In both cases, the team that got the likely help ended up winning. That's gotta suck for the teams that made it on the planes first.
Anyway, I need to put those eyebrows behind me. It was a good season, and I'm looking forward to the next even if it is an All-Stars season as it appears to be. All-Star seasons invariably suck, but because of the nature of the Race it shouldn't be quite as plagued with the problems we saw on the Survivor and Big Brother All-Stars debacles.
And maybe, just maybe, we might get to cheer on the Miss Americas again.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Dec. 7 - Commentary

Idiots.
To quote my very first paragraph from last week, "Okay, Aitu, don't do anything stupid. Candice is gone and that's a good thing. Messing with the plan now would be a bad thing. Is Jonathan annoying and untrustworthy? Sure. But voting someone off because they're annoying is always one of the stupidest things tribes on this show ever do, and if you know someone is untrustworthy, you an use them."
Is Jonathan not trustworthy? Of course not. Was the treatment he received this week pathetic? Yes. Holy crap, they could barely bring themselves to talk to him. "Oooooh, camp is ever so much funner without Jonathan around!" Thanks to the treatment Aitu gave him, and this really stupid vote, I no longer care who wins. Aitu just gave Raro the opening they needed to really start to work people and try to turn them. If Adam or Parvartie (again, I have no idea how to spell her name) aren't voted off next week, you can give the game to them.
I really did want to see an alliance go all the way to the final four without fracturing, but getting rid of Jonathan is the first crack. Is he really that unbearable that he can't be tolerated for a few more days for the sake of a million dollars?
Not only that, Aitu let Raro and their hypocritical distaste for the man influence them. So they're a lot more fun without him around. You're voting them off anyway!
And yes, they are really, very hypocritical. The only difference between him and Candice is that he realized he made a mistake and changed his mind. She turned on her tribe without even blinking.
It gets even worse. Adam has won an immunity, and Proovity just won a reward challenge after nearly severing part of her finger. That makes them dangerous! WHY OH WHY ARE YOU NOT VOTING THEM OFF WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE?!?!?!
Idiots.

The Amazing Race - Aired Dec. 3 - Commentary Update

I was reading B-Side's Amazing Race recap over at TVgasm and he commented on something that I missed. After the Road Block, there was both an airport equalizer and an opening time equalizer at the park with the maze.
The previous two non-elimination legs were followed by Fast Forwards, so there was at least a chance for people to beat being marked for elimination. This leg however seemed like it was almost deliberately set up for a team that is marked for elimination to fail. I doubt it was deliberate though. More a case of producers not thinking this new twist on non-eliminations all the way through.
Maybe an extra Fast Forward could be thrown in. Maybe they could have a leg with no time equalizers between the Road Block and the Detour. Something, anything, to give the marked team an actual chance.
As much fun as the begging for money was on previous seasons, I do like this change in non-eliminations. Just make it actually mean something, that's all I'm asking. Mary and David had two chances at Fast Forwards, two real chances to actually stay in the game. The Miss Americas, Beauty Queens if you prefer, Dustin and Kandice, they just got screwed over by poor planning on the producer's parts. They managed to build up a good position coming out from the Road Block, only to see any lead they worked at done away by two equalizers. That's just wrong.
So there you go. I was wrong about former pageant contestants being done in by a fourth place curse. As it turns out, they're being done in by a poor production decisions curse.

The Amazing Race - Aired Dec. 3 - Commentary

Sadness.

A void in our hearts,
Utter bleakness.

Darkness.

Where once shone sunshine,
Bright brilliance.

Painful.

You lit up our screens,
With your smiles.

Goodbye, sweet Team Miss America. We will miss you.

That's it. The best team of the season is gone. Is there any reason to go on? Any point in continuing?

Well, yeah. It's still The Amazing Race and it still rocks, even with the Miss Americas gone. If they can take any consolation from this, it's that wow, were the other teams scared of them. I don't think there was such a concerted effort even in the Boston Rob and Amber season.
Dustin and Kandice gave it a good go, and they have some nice prizes to show for their first place finishes, and they certainly have nothing to be ashamed of for their efforts in the race.
As it turned out, being marked for elimination had no effect at the end. If you believe in destiny, you can certainly say the Miss Americas were destined for a fourth place finish as they came in last anyway, and it's doubtful that it came from the other teams' gameplans at all. Usually you only want to take the search option in a Detour if you aren't particularly physically fit, but the two teams who picked the tomato search did better than the two who picked lugging around giant costumes. Maybe if they were able to get decent directions quickly it would have been different, but the Miss Americas still wouldn't have been able to build up a big enough lead to keep in the race.
I do have to give the Junkie Models credit. It does make more sense to go to the final three with the Single Moms instead of the Miss Americas, despite the recent resurgence of the sour Alabamans, and with the Pageanteers being marked for elimination, sticking close to them was a good idea. It's nice to see a little strategy come into play. Well done, Junkie Models. Well done.
So with the best team of the season gone, who else is there to cheer for in this final stretch? Let's take a look.

Junkie Models
Pro: The least offensive team left. They've done little to piss off the other players or audience. The above strategy was good too.
Con: They've done little to entertain the audience. Heck, they've done little to keep us away. Bland, boring, and completely indistinguishable from each other.

Single Moms
Pro: The first all-female team to make it to the final three, it would be nice to see an all-female team win. Since the departure of the Chos, they've also proven to be surprising competitors. They also seem to be the team with the most to gain from winning the money.
Con: Sour, hateful, spiteful, constantly bitching. We don't see everything that goes on behind the scenes, but it wouldn't be surprising if they were the instigators of the feud with the Miss Americas.

Rob and Kimberly
Pro: The only entertaining team left. They may have been surprisingly pissy towards the Miss Americas, they've saved most of their venom for each other and at least it gives us something to enjoy.
Con: I'll be nice and say they're likely more ignorant and xenophobic than they are racist. Some of the comments they have made while experiencing other countries and cultures have been jaw-droppingly horrible. Aside from this, despite how entertaining their fighting has been, that in conjunction with their whining and complaining has been pretty tiresome.

It's tough to decide on a team to give the Officially Endorsed by Realivision label to out of this collection of misfits. The pros I listed make it so that it won't be completely horrifying if any of the teams win, but heck, our Officially Endorsed by Realivision team is... The Junkie Models.
Of any of the final three, they would be the most tolerable to take a long car ride with because they'd make it very easy to sleep for the entire trip.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 30 - Commentary

Okay, Aitu, don't do anything stupid. Candice is gone and that's a good thing. Messing with the plan now would be a bad thing. Is Jonathan annoying and untrustworthy? Sure. But voting someone off because they're annoying is always one of the stupidest things tribes on this show ever do, and if you know someone is untrustworthy, you an use them.
So Raro showed their hypocrisy yet again. They were all over Jonathan for eating Adam's coconut, then all whiny and pathetic when they weren't called out to share the fish he caught. Seriously, Parvaty (I'm not sure how to spell her made-up name and I'm not about to check CBS.com because she tires me enough already) has been there this long already, and she's never seen a fish get cleaned before? And they cry when the people doing the work decide not to give them any food? I'm a liberal in favour of welfare for people on hard times who need it, but these are strong, healthy individuals who have no excuse for not doing any work around camp.
Candice, oh Candice. You turned your back on your tribe and your alliance without even blinking. I'm so glad I don't have to put up with you making Jonathan out to be a lower life form than you for changing his mind.
At least they're trying to strategize, even if they are failing miserably. How lame is it to be concentrating on getting Jonathan out? "I don't mind losing, as long as he's voted out first!" Oh shut up. Adam and Pavertie aren't without real options right now, but they don't seem to be using them. Get in Ozzy and Sundra's ears. Point out the closeness of Yul and Becky, and question how much of a chance they have to get to the final two against them? It might not work so well with Ozzy who can win immunities, but Sundra would be, well, she'd be an idiot to turn. She'd be facing a jury full of Raro and pissed off Aitu if she did. But as we know, people in this game don't always look ahead or at the bigger picture.
Even if turning Ozzy and Sundra doesn't work, they have to try. I'd have a lot more respect for Adam and Povarty if they tried to do something bigger than just trying to outlast Jonathan.
What Jonathan need to do now is to tone himself down. I'd suggest being quiet, but he does need to counter the poisoning against him Raro is going to be doing so keeping his mouth shut isn't an option. A lower profile would be invaluable though. That, and get into people's minds that you're the one they'd want to go to the final two.
As for Aitu, they can't fall prey to the usual trap we see pretty much every season of Survivor there has ever been. An alliance gets the numbers on their side, but before they've cleaned out their opponents, things fall apart. I'd love to see this one make it to the final five with Jonathan. Because he's too useful to have in the final two, it'll be okay if they start voting each other out at that point. If Aitu makes in intact to the final four though, I'll be very happy to see an alliance finally make it, strategy be damned.
But not completely. Adam needs to go next week. Winning immunity this week has shown him to be too much of a threat. And all that said, it wouldn't be too bad if Becky and Sundra team up with a suddenly alone Porvortee and take out Ozzy and Yul the first chance they get. If an alliance is going to fall apart, do it to take out the teammates you have no chance of beating in the final two.