The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 25

Holy friggin' crap, this episode was all about the airport, wasn't it?
It seems like Dar Es Salaam is the most popular vacation spot on the planet, because every team had issues getting there as every team had to fly stand-by.
The first place win helped Charla and Mirna tremendously here, as they managed to get the first shot at seats on all flights and got a huge lead over all the other teams.
It wasn't even close, people.
This insane day at the airport was frustrating to the teams, and probably boring to any viewers who wanted to see more action. Not me. I loved every minute of it. You know who else probably loved it? Joyce and Uchenna. If you remember, they came in last on the previous leg, and so were marked for elimination. That meant if they didn't come in first this leg, they would incur a 30 minute penalty. Remembering that this is just a commentary and not a recap, I can say that penalty didn't make any difference at all. In fact, they got so far ahead of the next closest team, the Beauty Queens (yay!), that Kandice and Dustin still hadn't reached the Pit Stop by the time the penalty came to an end.
Before I go on any further, I just want to let you know this is going to be a short one. I was very tired last week, so tired I didn't event want to think of writing. Then this weekend other stuff came up, and when I wasn't doing that, I was pretty zombified. Sorry.
But speaking of short ones, Charla and Mirna made it to Dar Es Salaam first, where they had to take a boat to their next clue. However, because of allegedly inclement weather, the captain wouldn't take them out until early the next morning.
This allowed Danny and Oswald to catch up to them where Oswald made a joke about a certain bench being where they, um, "worked", that wasn't ha-ha funny (unlike my hiiiiilarious recaps and commentaries (dang, I hit my high point with Treasure Hunters)), but the fact that it went completely over Charla and Mirna's heads was great. And right there is where I show what a classy joint this is. I made one short comment earlier (I hesitate to call it a "joke"), but I let that part about going over Charla and Mirna's heads go right by. That's why this is where the swells come to get their fancy television writing.
Ugh. I'm not going to even going to try to figure out who was where and when. Eric and Danielle were given their seats by mistake, which led to one of the highlights of the season - seeing them being asked to kindly leave the aircraft. So this gave three teams a lead over them, leaving them stranded with Ian, Teri, Bill and Joe at the airport. He wasn't vocalizing it, but you just know Eric was thinking, "Eww, old people! Ick! Ick!"
However, because they were removed from the last flight, they got the only seats on the next flight, leaving the oldsters of the season with more airport waiting to do.
Seriously, it was so bad that I think teams were still there at around the half-hour mark on the episode. I think all the teams made it to Johannesburg from Mozambique, but it's all a jumble of ticket counters and the joie de vivre of hanging around airports. This leg wasn't even going to be close. There was at least a good day or so between the first place and last place teams.
To make matters worse for our two fogey teams, Eric and Danielle were able to get the next flight while they still had to wait. There are going to have to be some serious equalization points to bring the whole pack back together. You know that things are horribly awry when Mirna and Charla come in first two legs in a row! Oops. Spoiler.
Ah, let's just look at the Detour. Solve It or Schlep It. In Solve it, teams had to do a nifty puzzle. In Schlep it, they had to carry two huge, misshapen logs on a cart. Some teams did one, some the other. Of the first place teams, Oswald and Danny finished first, but they stopped for some fruit on the way to the Roadblock, allowing Charla and Mirna to overtake them.
At the Roadblock, one of the teammates had to use a throwing weapon called a Rungu to destroy a clay target and get their next clue. Mirna triumphed, and they got their second first place finish. Their prize for winning this leg? A pair of catamarans. The blank looks on their faces made me scream, "BOATS! CATAMARANS ARE BOATS, YOU PATRONIZING TO NON-ENGLISH SPEAKERS IDIOTS!"
Is it wrong to so thoroughly dislike a team but enjoy them at the same time? I so don't want them to win, but damn, it just wouldn't be the same without them if they don't make it to third place behind the second place Oswald and Danny and first place, million dollar winning Kandice and Dustin.
So Oswald and Danny came in next, followed by Joyce and Uchenna who waited half an hour and the Beauty Queens still didn't show up (I can't for the life of me remember how they got so far behind), but at least the BQs came in fourth. Eric and Danielle made their way boringly to the mat, leaving two more teams. See? I haven't given everything away.
Bill and Joe arrived in sixth place, meaning Teri and Ian were eliminated, leaving one less geriatric team around to remind Eric that he will age and his pierce nipples will sag.


Anyway, sorry that was so truncated. Except for the Grease finale, expect to see that until I'm caught up again. Heck, I still have to write up last week's Apprentice and as I look at the clock, this week's is starting in about five minutes. Urgh.