Monday, August 28, 2006

Treasure Hunters - Aired Aug. 21 - Full Recap

Nooooooooo! Not the finale! Not so soon! Just rip my heart out, NBC. And don't have Darth Chuck do your dirty work! Oh, he'd love to rip my heart out then rend me limb from limb. He's evil, I tell you.
First things first, I need to fast forward past the repeat of last week's episode. A two hour finale would have rocked, but it looks like it's going to be an hour. That's a lot they're going to have to fit in. Based on how it ended last week though we shouldn't have too much of the actual hunt left.
Back at the Key Industries building where we last left them, the Air Force contestabots were still scanning their surroundings trying to find the door that would take them to the treasure chamber. While searching, they were also working on their codex, trying to guess the five-letter word that would open it, but none of their computations were correct. We got to see them walk right past the metal cylinder that contained the door they needed to find, once again proving the point that when you're in one of these competitions, watch the cameras. If they point away from you, follow their line of sight.
How much of a hurry they needed to be in was still up in the air as we joined the Geniuses still in the hidden chamber, one hour and fifty-seven minutes after entering. Genius Francis asked Genius Charles what time it was, and he said 2:00am. It's when we get these elapsed times from the producers that we see how much of a lead people have at any given time, and so far the Geniuses were ahead of the other teams by two hours! It didn't seem like that much last week, but that's what editing will do to you.
They were surprised themselves that after all that time, nobody else had yet entered the chamber. The only question now would be how hungry would Darth Chuck get, and were we watching Genius Sam's last day of not being someone's lunch?
Francis stared at the map he had, trying to figure out clues from there but with no luck. He suggested to Charles to try "Dawn's Early Light", and from the dramatic music and the zoom in to the cryptex it seemed like they were about to succeed, but no, we were just being toyed with.
The Southie Boys made their first appearance of the episode, looking around and trying to find the entrance themselves between fist fights. One of the twins (sorry guys, it was dark and the camera was too far away) wanted to make sure they took their time and didn't walk past anything important. Good. It worked too, as one of them found the cylinder with the door and the spiral staircase and they made their way down it.
In the chamber, the Geniuses were still getting nowhere with the code. Charles said they tried every five-letter word connected to history that they could think of, and Francis said that in a parallel world their parallel selves had the money two hours ago. Yeah, but in that same parallel world Francis has a goatee instead of muttonchops, Sam is a world-class athlete, and Charles doesn't kick puppies and small children and works against madmen with plans for world domination.
Meanwhile, the Southies arrived in the outer chamber and the Geniuses could hear them moving around. Francis shushed the others, because they wouldn't want the Southies to think that this metal door in the underground cavern with the carved rocks was the right metal door in the underground cavern with the carved rocks.
Francis let the others know that another team was outside, and Charles got really snippy with him and told him to put his ear to the door and listen, "Einstein". Listen for what? If you're going to snap at someone, at least have a reason for it. Listening to another team outside would just take time away from Francis trying to figure out the code, Darth Einstein!
The Southies were looking for the way in, and one of them found the slot in the door but they didn't connect it to the token with the star they got last week.
Francis said to Sam that it felt like they were down there for days. Charles got snippy yet again and said, "Don't talk unless you're [couldn't make this out, but it may have been something about making a kitten-fur hat], please!"
The Air Force were still up in the main part of the building searching for the entrance when Manbot1 saw the cylinder and scanned the door in it. They got down to the outer chamber with the Southies, who were still stuck on the door and punching each other in the face. They saw the slot in the door, and Manbot2's pattern recognition algorithms noted the star in the slot and matched it to the star on the token.
As they were talking about putting the token in the slot, Genius Francis asked Darth Chuck what do they say, to which Chuck whispered, "Nothing! You keep your mouth SHUT... is what you do!" Francis responded to this by taking the cryptex and hitting Charles over the head with it several times. Okay, that part was just in my fantasies but I'm surprised they let Charles talk to them like that. At any point in the hunt, a team can choose to drop one player. This is a good time for the Geniuses to drop their evil third!
Manbot2 dropped the token into the slot, thus opening the door and causing Francis to voice an obscenity. It was beeped out, but his mouth wasn't blurred out as is normally the case these days so it didn't take a genius lip reader to know what he said. The two teams walked in, and neither Francis nor Charles looked pleased at this turn of events.
As we go to commercial, I must note that I haven't provided one fun link or product placement. To make up for it, here's one fun link (make sure your sound is on and one product placement.
Charles lamented to the camera that they had a two and a half hour lead, and now it means nothing. You know what else means nothing? This.
The Air Force got together and interfaced, saying it must be very complicated if the Geniuses don't have it yet. According to Womanbot, the Geniuses look like they've been beaten with a stick. That sends shivers down my spine, because I don't want to know how military-grade contestabots know what a human beaten with a stick looks like.
This is where the show gets really fun to recap, because it's going to be nothing but people trying to figure out this five-letter code. At least it's fun to watch Genius Sam falling asleep sitting up.
Two hours and 19 minutes after entering, John Southie was yawning and trying to figure out the code. Unfortunately "SHUTUP" is six letters. Not one five-letter word he could think of would work.
Five hours and three minutes elapsed for the Geniuses, and Sam had given up trying to sit so he was laying down sleeping.
It got a little confusing at one point as we got a close-up of Manbot1 but the Southies in the background were whispering how it could have something to do with history and the American Revolution. Oh, I still love you boys!
The Air Force were asking each other which of the carvings are there only one of, and Manbot2 mentioned a star and looked at it.
The elapsed time for the Southies and Air Force now is three hours and 27 minutes, and someone said they're thinking too complicated there, it has to be easier than they think. A camera zoomed to a page Charles had open in a book that said "The Star-Spangled Banner". Watch the cameras, damn it!
The Geniuses were in there for six hours and 29 minutes and Francis was laying on a patterned stone while Charles tried the cryptex and Sam was back to sitting and sleeping.
The Air Force were looking at their map and Womanbot was pointing out how "Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light" was written in the corner unnecessarily.
The Southies were wondering if it wasn't even a word but just a combination of five letters. They said they were only assuming it had to be a word, but the answer had to be somewhere right in front of them.
Genius Sam was back to laying down for his snooze when Francis sat up with an idea and asked Charles to hand him the cryptex. He tried the code that came to him... and opened it up! Sam stood up and said, "I'm awake! I'm awake!"
Inside the cryptex was an arrow with a pivot sticking down from it. Francis told us he had the letters "FSK" in his head, and he was thinking of a key, so what if it's Francis Scott Key? FSKEY!
Darth Chuck let us know the little metallic arrow that was in the cryptex had some of the same symbols that were in the stone tablets in the ground, so they put the pivot into a slot and gave it a spin. It stopped spinning and pointed to a star. They got up to look for the star on the wall, and Francis went over and gave it a hit. The star recessed into the stone, and dust came billowing out.
A door opened up in the wall and the Geniuses went inside to find a HUGE pile of gold coins. The treasure was theirs!
The other teams looked upset, but the Southies were able to put huge smiles on their faces. Team Air Force wasn't, but not because they didn't have the appropriate emotions programmed in them. It's that they knew that Charles was going to now have the resources he needs to build his secret lair and giant death ray to try and take over the world, and they failed to stop him. So the contestabots would now have to go back into storage and the authorities would have to break out the jamesbondabots.
The phone rang, and the Geniuses received Motorola message as lickable Laird congratulated them on finding the treasure.
Francis said his grandparents and parents would now be able to retire (quite possibly overthinking how much money he's going to get after taxes). Sam said he learned a lot about himself, and how he had to keep going for himself, his team, and his family. He did things in the hunt he never thought he would do and saw places he never even heard of. Charles said that Francis will be able to help his family and pay for med school, Sam will be able to open his clinic, and when he himself is overlord of the planet, he will allow them to live. Or he might pay for med school.
There was time for one last Motorola message for the Air Force and Southies Boys, where Laird got a little mean and told them they weren't fast enough and the treasure slipped through their fingers. The Southies talked about how they could still keep their heads high as they did well to get where they did. It was hard on John though, to have come so close only to lose. He would have rather gone out in tenth place, but hopefully he'll be able to look back on it now and see what an amazing adventure he got to participate in and what he would have missed out on had they left early.
Throughout the hunt there were two teams for me, the Miss USAs and the Southies. Of those two teams, it was the Southies I got to know first and I'm proud of how well they did. Thank you, guys. You may have tied for second, but you're still winners to me.
Enough with the schmaltz, back to the snark! Darth Chuck was talking about how his team became brothers through this experience. They would take bullets for each other, which is something he's counting on once the jamesbondabots track down his soon to be built secret lair and giant death ray.
Yeah, that's the right note to end the competition on.

***

I'm not going to go into a lot of details on the live part of the finale. It was good to see Laird get to be more expressive, and I loved that I got to see the Miss USAs and the Southies one last time. They've been good to me and Realivision, and I'm so glad I was able to give them my support through this adventure.
The time allotted to the live part was nowhere near enough, but at least we got the fun of watching Cowboy Laird try to round up the Geniuses as they were pressed for time and couldn't afford to spend too much of it getting hugs and congratulations from all the other contestants.
It's been a blast having fun with the teams, and I'd like to use Team Air Force's real names just once. Matt Z. was Manbot1, Brooke was Womanbot and her husband Matt R. was Manbot2. If there was any need for proof that they're not really robots, the very pregnant Brooke showed their humanity. Congratulations, Brooke and Matt. May you have a healthy, shiny babybot.
There just wasn't enough time for this reunion. Only a few people got to answer questions, and those questions weren't given enough time to be answered. There was also a lot of time wasted on a mini-hunt between ten $10,000 winners from the online competition. I'm sorry, but I just spent ten weeks watching ten teams put it all on the line to win. I really don't care about these ten people I know nothing about running around Washington. That's time that could be spent getting updates on Grad Student Jessica's and Keith Brown's injuries. That's time that could have been used to ask the Browns and Hanlons if relations between the two families are still strained.
Anyway, as for the grand prize - the treasure was worth $3 million. That's $1 million for each team member. Not a bad chunk of change.
I'm not sure if the ratings warrant it, but I'd love to see a second season. And if there is one, they need to devote a good solid hour to the reunion if they decide to do that again.
Thank you to all the teams for an entertaining show.
Thank you John Southie, Miss Realivision 2006 Melissa Witek, Grad Student Jessica and Tonny Brown for the interviews. Melissa in particular I also want to thank for all the inside information.
It's been quite a season, and people who missed out on it because it wasn't enough like a certain other show, well, they missed out on a rolicking good time.

So You Think You Can Dance - Aired Aug. 9 - Full Recap

So you think I forgot? Ha! Sorry about the lateness of this recap, but between recovering from the crazy schedule I set for myself and taking time for other things... well, I'm back and catching up!
This was the penultimate episode of the season. The final four would perform one last time before the finale where we would ultimately get our Dance champion. This show would be different, as host Cat Deely pointed out, in that everyone would dance with everyone else. Not just the two men with the two women, but the two men with each other and the two women with each other. Sadly this is network television with a large young demographic, so "pro-family" groups don't need to get their anti-love knickers in a twist. I'm sure it'll all be quite chaste.
Our final panel of judges were Nigel "Never Had a Face Lift" Lythgoe, Mary "If Your Ears Aren't Bleeding I'm Not Doing My Job" Murphy, and Brian "Insert Nickname Here" Friedman. No time for small talk! It's a packed show!
Heidi & Travis (Disco) - Disco routines don't seem to go down very well, but this one was pretty good. I thought Travis was pretty awkward on the lifts, but if the judges agreed then they didn't say anything beyond Brian wanting Travis' arms a little stiffer on one of the lifts. You want Travis stiffer? Let him lift Benji! Ha! You see, because Travis is... Ah, never mind. As awkward as the lifts and that joke were, it's nothing compared to the flirting between Nigel and Cat. He said that with the shiny silver dress she was wearing, she could be a disco ball. That's when she replied that if he gets the right wire, he can hang her anywhere. Another reason I'm so far behind on the recaps? I've been drinking heavily to get that image out of my mind.
Donyelle & Benji (Viennese Waltz) - The last time we saw a Viennese waltz, the graphics department spelled it "Vienesse". That's how I noticed we weren't getting any graphics this episode. Also of note, nobody was drawing dances out of a hat, so these styles must have been deliberately chosen for each pairing. Also also of note, remembering misspellings makes me miss Jawyemaz. Also also also of note, I don't think there has been a waltz I've hated all season. If I'm wrong, please feel free to leave me a note in the comments section. If I'm right, please feel free to leave me a note in the comments section. If you don't care either way, please leave a damned note in the comments section! I need your love! Huh? Oh, I thought this waltz was beautiful too, but the judges didn't like it at all, and were particular harsh concerning the technique.
At this point we got to see how the final four got a special treat. Dressed up to the nines and in a limo, they went to the world premier of the dance movie, Step Up. Considering that the movie was soooo well reviewed it's no surprise that they enjoyed it. I shouldn't get too snarky though. I love Flashdance.
Heidi - It was a Heidi solo, so nothing really new but she did mix up her moves a little. I'm still disappointed that she hasn't taken what she's learned through this process and incorporate some of that.
Travis & Benji (Hip-Hop) - Travis and Benji, or as they call themselves, Tranji. I like it, and I'm very happy that they didn't go with Benvis. That wouldn't have been quite so humourously close to so many other words. The routine was incredible with the two of them taking on dancing nerd personaes, making me hope they do more same-sex pairings next season. It doesn't all have to be about romance and sexual chemistry. The most bizarre moment was Judge Mary (hmmmm, I see a new spin-off!) talking to her hand as if the hand were a puppet, then having the puppet hand scream. Judge Brian (which wouldn't be as crazy a show as Judge Mary) called it "dorktastic", and also screamed. Please. One Mary is more than enough.
Donyelle - I liked this solo, and it was reminiscent of the audition dance where I first fell in love with her, but it seemed to lack some energy. Never the less, it was still nice to watch and she does try different things with her solos which is refreshing.
Travis - Some brilliant moves here, but I couldn't enjoy it as much because he's still using the same damned angsty music he always does his solos to. The dancing itself should earn him the win, but I'm so tired of his music. Something faster would be such a nice change.
Donyelle & Heidi (Broadway) - Maybe it was the music they were given, but while they did the choreography I was left wanting so much more. These two women are more than capable of putting on as good a routine as the guys had earlier, but they didn't have the right music or choreography to do it. The judges didn't like it either, and for those keeping score, that's two in a row for Donyelle that they didn't care for.
Benji - Another high-energy Benji solo, and for him I'd like to see the opposite of what I want from Travis. It would be nice to see Benji slow it down. However, if he did that we likely wouldn't have had one of the best endings ever when he dropped backwards into the audience where they caught him and lifted him back up. Obviously people had to have been planted, because that would have been too risky otherwise and a broken neck may not be conducive to a long, productive dance career.
Donyelle & Travis (Blues Contemporary) - Oh, this was beautiful. Finally Donyelle was able to shine like we know she can. It wasn't the kind of energetic number that gets the huge applause, but it was a joy to watch and the judges agreed.
Heidi & Benji (Salsa) - It looks like the couples were given styles they are comfortable in for their last pairings. First Donyelle and Travis, now the cousins Heidi and Benji who did a kickass salsa. At the end, Heidi was standing arched backwards and without help in a way no human should be able to. Did the United States Air Force slip in a contestabot when nobody was looking? I loved it, the audience loved it, the judges loved it, and Nigel loved Cat all over the backstage area. I'm guessing. That last bit was pure speculation for legal purposes.
Group routine (Pop) - We're used to seeing group routines at the top of the results show, but this is the first one on the performance show specifically for the audience to help us judge the dancers, and it was an amazing dance with everyone doing a whole "model" schtick. Nigel said the last three dances showed why they all deserved to be in the final four, but then he added that not everyone deserves to win. He didn't name any names, but Travis was singled out as doing an amazing job in this last dance by the judges.
And so it goes. The last competitive episode of the season. As much as I love Donyelle, she's been lacking energy or something the last couple of shows, and Heidi is great but I don't see her winning. This should be down to Travis versus Benji. Benji has the popularity, but Travis has the moves. Let's see how it all works out.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Treasure Hunters - Aired Aug. 14 - Full Recap

Is it really almost over? This is the penultimate episode, next week will be the live finale when we finally find out who wins and what the treasure at the end is going to be.
Before we get there though, we have three teams still in the hunt. First are the dashing Southie Boys, those swashbuckling rogues from Boston with the impish grins and quick tempers but large hearts. Next are the Geniuses, doing nerds the world over proud as they fight to the finish like Gandalf the Grey fought the Morlocks at Romulus. Okay, Lord of the Rings isn't my strong suit. Finally are the Air Force, finely tuned contestabots fashioned from best technology Earth and whatever's in Area 51 has to offer. One of these teams, human or machine, will be the grand prize winners.
The teams start off where we last saw them, in Philadelphia. I guess we're not going to see any more middle of the night wake-up calls, damn it, because it's the morning of the final day and everyone is packing to leave a nameless brick bed & breakfast. It is odd that for the first time, we don't get to know the name of the establishment. Maybe they insisted on being paid to have the teams and crew stay there. It's also odd that teams are packing. This is why there should have been more middle of the night calls. They're just completely complacent now.
Team Air Force are the first of the contestants we drop in on, and they have a lot of Turtle Wax, motor oil, and WD40 to put away before they can leave. Manbot1 even let out an almost human sounding "Whooo!" about being in the final three and this being the end. It may have been an excitement algorithm, or he's steam-powered. He is the first version of the manbots, after all.
Manbot2 said in an interview that they are "excited" over the possibility of winning the treasure, especially if it's of epic proportions. I knew the contestabots were a mistake to build in the first place, because now they are going to try and win enough money to start construction on an army of Air Force contestabots. When we are slaves being forced to mine raw materials for our contestabot overlords, don't say I didn't warn you, fellow humans.
With the Southie Boys, one of the twins was laying on the floor, possible knocked down by his brother, and rugged John Southie was leaning against the bed saying this is the first day he's had butterflies. Marty No Pants told us that winning the treasure would be great, but even if they don't, the adventure they've been on has been more than most people could dream of.
Genius Sam in their room said they might need caffeine to keep them going, which would mean the wunderbrau of geeks everywhere, Jolt Cola. He didn't name it, but I know he was thinking it. Our old friend Chuck was interested at first in going places and meeting people in this game, but if they actually win a vast amount of money, it will open up opportunities and dreams to them for the rest of their lives. And the first of those dreams? Finally being able to keep up with all the new edition cards of Magic: The Gathering.
The teams all went downstairs to get their instructions from a little Lairdovision set and he said that tonight one of them will find the treasure. The end game has begun! To unlock the treasure, they will have to use every artifact they have found along the way, which includes a blank map, a compass, a box, a medallion, a key, a large cryptex which holds a smaller cryptex. Tonight they must find the seventh and final artifact that will help them unlock that cryptex. The code that opens it is the key to the treasure. For the last part of the hunt, they will not be allowed to use their computers (so forget all the porn you downloaded, Genius Francis). Their search will begin at the Library of Congress and their Toyota Tundras would be waiting for them outside.
Because out of fairness the Air Force had to have their internal GPS units disabled, they were forced to try other methods of navigation, so Manbot2 suggested Manbot1, who was driving, look in the glove compartment for a map.
The Geniuses were in no better position, and the best direction they could come up with was "right", so Francis said they had better start figuring it out.
In the Southie Boys truck, the team punched each other out for a while until they decided it was better to get going and follow the Geniuses. Oh, no though, Team "Einstein" wasn't going to have any of that and Sam used his mad Project Gotham Racing skills to thwart the wiley Bostonians who decided that they'll have to find it on their own.
On the way to the Library, the Air Force went through all the artifacts they'd received so far, and they were eagerly waiting to process how all of them would fit together. They suspected that when they get to the Library they would get what they need to calculate the code for the second cryptex.
The Southies ended up following the Geniuses anyway, and at this point we discovered that the teams had hand-held GPS units anyway. How long have they had these? And I know cell phones are all the rage, but are there no telephone booths with phone books that contain addresses anymore? I'm asking this of all three teams.
At some point they seperated though and the Southies were the first to arrive at the Library of Congress! Yay! They celebrated by beating each other up and getting a Motorola message from the Lairdbrarian. Shhhhh!
I know Laird is a powerful man, but to have the friggin' Library of Congress emptied of all outsiders and kept open well past public hours? Now that's influence! Not only that, the man knows everything! He tells the Southies that there are over 530 miles of bookshelves containing 29 million volumes including the best works ever put to paper.
Somewhere on those shelves are three books - Poltroons & Patriots, Official Histories, and The American Flag: Of Stars and Stripes. Each of them covers the seventh artifact. Find anyone of those three titles and it will reveal the key to the treasure.
The Southies then poked Laird in his Motorola eyes and headed off to find the books. I love the boys, but yeesh, they didn't get off to a good start. Instead of thinking it through logically, they started looking at random books they found. Even John Southie (sigh!) in an interview that's currently paused on my television (sigh!) said they put three rockheads in a library. Don't worry, John, with a mug like that you don't need no book learnin'. It's not like you're a graduate of the University of Massachusetts at Boston or anything.
Yes, I know I want the Southies to win and I really like them, but there are only three teams left. I can't just snark on the Air Force and Geniuses. It just wouldn't be fair to them, especially since the Southies rock and are the best damned team left. They are more physically fit than the Geniuses, and their human brains allow them to think more outside the box than the Air Force.
The Geniuses were the next to arrive at the Library, and upon entry fell down to the floor with ecstasy overload. "Soooo... maaannyyyy... boooookssss!"
Drawn to the Geniuses like the Hanlons to a hamburger, the Bostonians tried following them again but the Geniuses, once again, would have none of that.
Finally the Air Force pulled up and ran inside and looking at how their own data retrieval systems work, they talked about finding the main card catalogue. Card catalogue. That's some cutting edge technology. Maybe if Congress didn't blow all its money on gold toilet seats, they could afford to put computer terminals in.
Still looking for some clue, the Southies saw the Air Force go speeding by, so they decided to try and follow as fast as their fleshy little legs would carry them.
Air Force looked through the cards until they found what they were looking for and the Southies tried to duplicate their success, but to no avail.
The contestabots were quickly tracking down their book and found it soon enough, but there was nothing inside of it. Then something in her word pattern recognition algorithms prompted Womanbot to ask if "the book covered it, is it literal?" They went back to the shelf where they got it and Manbot2 looked behind the books and sure enough there was another one, leather-bound and entitled "The Star-Spangled Banner."
It was the right one, because their phone then rang. In this big, empty library how that sound didn't carry and bring forth the other two teams, I don't know.
Mouth-watering Laird told them it was the seventh and final artifact, and it holds the key to the treasure. He could only tell them this - the key has been in front of them every step of the way. This was accompanied by shots of stars and flags, one of which is my bet for the final cryptex code.
They looked through the book, read some of it, and one page was about "The Chevron". The page with the picture of the chevron was translucent, and every picture in the book they put it over, it would connect with another chevron hidden in each drawing to create an X, and each one was a place they've been to along the way, but the last page was blank. In the book it also said, "Printed on the Old Printing Press, Library of Congress."
They looked at the blank page and Womanbot asked about the other map they have, the first artifact they recovered. This was retrieved and it fit perfectly in the book. The only problem was that it was blank, so Manbot1 said they had to find the old printing press.
Meaning while, the Southies were busy writing on their arms (don't they have notepads?) and hitting each other with books.
The Air Force quickly found a room with a printing press, and once they realized it was pre-computer they stopped trying to interface with it and found that there were slots the other artifacts they had found would fit in. Aaaaaah! That explains the way everything was raised on those artifacts instead of engraved normally! They're part of a picture and once covered with ink, they will print onto the blank map! After all these weeks, it's nice to finally have it all come together and to see how these pieces all fit together!
I don't know if the Geniuses used the card catalogue at all, but they were the next to find a book and so their artifact. Charles in an interview said he found it and so was grateful that he was actually useful for once. However, I've now rewound and watched it four times to be sure before I say this, but he didn't find it. Genius Sam found the book and pointed to it, Chuck just was the first to touch it. He also didn't think there was anything to it, but it was Sam who saw that there was something behind it, at which point Darth Chuck reached back and got the artifact.
Don't try to steal Sam's glory, Chuck. Not when you're on film, and not on my watch! Not to worry though, you've been quite useful throughout this hunt. To me! Now do something evil again that I can make fun of!
They took their artifact book to a desk and looked through it, and this time it was Charles who thought of the blank map. There you go, credit where credit is due. The phone rang, and it was fun to watch Genius Francis jump and the look on his face. This is someone who has been shushed in a few libraries in his time. Don't worry, Francis. It's only kindly Uncle Laird!
After they took the call, they headed off to find the printing press, and the Southies saw them leave.
Back at the press, the Air Force were busy inking up a roller, careful not to over-ink it. They only have one blank map, so they have to get this right the first time. Apparently their programming doesn't include old-timey hand-operated machinery so they were forced to use a manual that was conveniently located by the printing press, almost like this was all placed there by some unknown force.
Because there are no second chances, they found they had to drop their speed to a human level. Once they finished all the steps, they were left with a completed map that showed them Fort McHenry and the Francis Scott Key Truce Ship.
Laird, dear sweet man that he is, called them to let them know the map is of the Battle of Baltimore from the War of 1812. He said that up until now, every artifact they uncovered was part of a bigger puzzle, but now only the cryptex remains and in it, the final key.
Team Air Force then were the first team to leave the Library to go to Ft. McHenry, which was 38 miles away, thanks to a helpful graphic on the screen.
The Southies were starting to get very frustrated, and the word "quit" came up but they talked themselves out of it. Marty No Pants in particular wasn't going to hear of it.
The Geniuses, breaking who knows how many rules and laws, were running through the halls of the Library of Congress looking for the press and soon found it. They went through all the steps until they had their completed map and they were heading off to the next location.
John Southie was wondering how they found it, and Marty No Pants said it was all about the card catalogue. By slowing down and thinking logically, they were able to find the last book and the artifact. You're smart guys, just impatient! Oh, the lead they could have had...
In their truck, the Air Force contestabots were trying to find the directions to the fort. They calculated that the best thing to do was to ask for directions, and before cutting away to another team, we saw them spot a fire station.
We rejoined the Southies as they were printing their map and hitting each other over the head with pieces of the printing press. They then left to find their way to the fort.
Once more with the Air Force, they were at a fire station 25 miles from their target location getting directions and searching online. Their product placement program now run directly from a specialized chip, they didn't forget to say they should check Ask.com. If it was possible to program them with emotions, they would hope that none of the other teams would know where they were going.
Which took us to the Geniuses who were only 11 miles from Ft. McHenry. It turns out Sam is pretty good at finding signs and such. You might almost say he's a genius at it. Good thing you guys didn't leave him behind in the swamp, huh?
The Air Force were 4 miles from the fort when they realized how close they were all this time and it occurred to them that maybe they shouldn't have stopped at all.
Team Geniuses was the first to arrive at the docks, and were fortunate enough to find a lone man standing in a boat late at night. What luck! Okay, he was obviously hired by the show, but I'd love if they actually went to some random guy and got a lift. As they left the dock, Genius Francis said to his teammates to watch the dock and make sure nobody else pulls up. You know, because... Why? What are they going to do if it happens?
I'm just putting this out there, but I want to see Snakes on a Plane. A commercial just came on for it, but come on, once you heard that title didn't you want to see it too? Everyone and their brother is coming up with names for possible sequels and I want to get in on the fun, so here's mine - Locusts on a Cruise Ship.
One of the problems now is that the Geniuses are on a boat at night trying to find an old ship on dark water. Any lights on the ship are going to harder to see because the shoreline has lights everywhere.
A treat for us, the viewers, is that Charles was selected to relay the history of the area to us, about the battle that took place and the events that led to Francis Scott Key writing the poem, The Star-Spangled Banner, that would later become the anthem.
As you know or may have suspected from the way I spell words such as "catalogue", I am Canadian. Thus I would like to share the history of the Canadian national anthem - click here if you're interested.
As the Geniuses searched, the Air Force arrived at the dock. Despite the threat of rust, they got on their boat and started on their quest for the ship.
John Southie joked that the others may have been eaten by a shark as the Southies were driving to the fort.
The Air Force figured the Geniuses may have been there an hour ahead of them. Puny flesh bags! It can not be tolerated that they are ahead of the contestabots!
The lead wasn't going to fall any time soon, as the Geniuses spotted the ship and headed towards it. Thank you, James T. Kirk! The Force is with them! Yes, they were so excited they started getting their science fiction confused. Sam then said they needed to look for five-letter words once aboard the ship, as that's what is needed to open the cryptex.
Once on board, they looked for a way inside and found a hatch (yes, I knows me nautical terminology, me hearty) that wasn't locked. Inside was an glass window with a duplicate of their map engraved in it, and behind that window was an alcove with three wooden boxes. In the boxes was a metal token with a star on each side, and another map. The map was a duplicate of the one they already had, except on the back was a picture of a key with the word "LAZARETTO" and "THE TREASURE IS NOT HERE, THE ANSWER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU."
Looking at the map in front of them, Francis saw Lazaretto Battery on it and said they have to go there. As they went topside (see, nautical!) their phone rang. Aye aye, Cap'n Macintosh! He told them a little more history, and that the LaZaretto is now gone but on that plot of land the treasure is now waiting.
They got back on to their little boat, and as this happened the camera panned over and showed us a building with the sign "Key Industries" with a tattered flag beneath it, all nicely lit up.
Next we see the Southies again, who are now 15 miles from the fort and in the harbour the Air Force is just finding the ship. They go downside and find the map, box, etc.
The Geniuses, we see, are now searching for the plot of land and Genius Francis says they need to find the nearest dock, get on land, and start looking. Oh please do that! The others unfortunately see that as a bad idea, and Chuck spots Air Force's boat at the ship.
The contestabots meanwhile are looking at their map trying to calculate where the Battery is located, spending more time figuring out the map then scanning the shoreline. If you're ever on one of these shows where you have to find things, be it Treasure Hunters, The Amazing Race, or Where's Waldo: The Epic Journey, here's a hint - always keep an eye on the cameraman. If the camera is pointed at anything other than you, follow where it's looking at. It just might lead you to what you're missing.
Finally the Southie Boys arrived at the dock, and after they board they put the map down and give a good general direction to the captain.
Working in the Southie's favour, the other teams were still looking for the Battery. Not for too long though, as Eagle Eye Sam spotted the Key Industries building. Seriously, if they left him at the swamp like Chuck very much considered, these guys would have been out of the hunt ages ago. If they win this thing, Chuck needs to get down on his knees and beg for Sam's forgiveness for anything negative he said.
The Geniuses did start getting cocky now. Francis said this is the moment that will change their lives, and Chuck said, "Let's get some money and go home!" Not so fast, my pasty little Chaotic Evil Halfling friend! You don't think it's going to be that easy now, do you?
After docking and getting up on land, Dungeon Master Laird called them and told them they must now seek and and gain entry to a hidden chamber buried deep in the Key Industries structure. Once inside, they must solve the five-letter cryptex and what it contains will point their way to the treasure. "But work fast, because only one team will get the gold."
ACK! Hurry, Southies! Hurry!
Air Force
Lost in harbor [sic]
They were so lost that they expected the phone to ring at any time with a message that the Geniuses had found the treasure and the game was over.
But we know differently, as the Geniuses at this time were climbing stairs on the side of the building, and they went up and up until they got to a door. They looked around inside, where there were lots of pipes and steam. Francis said he didn't see anything, and Sam chastised with "Don't just assume. Every time we rush, we lose." See above where I say that if the Geniuses win, they will owe that win to Sam. In your face, Doubting Chuck!
The Southies didn't take long to find the Truce Ship, as they paid attention to the map and the direction their boat was going. They got the last box, and left to search for the Battery.
Back at the building, the Geniuses were searching and searching until Francis earned his keep and found a sliding door in a round metal chamber that had a spiral staircase inside. They went down, and Sam took care to shut the door behind him. The cameraman was still outside though, so he likely had to open it up again to get in himself.
At the bottom of the stairs was a well-lit rock cavern with many carved stones and a metal door with no obvious means of opening. There was, however, a slot with a star symbol. As Francis was fingering the slot, it was Sam who pointed out the star while Darth Chuck was doing nothing! A lot of evil nothing! Except for taking the token with the star symbol out, but that could have been done by either of the minions. They were anxious about putting the token in the slot, because once it falls in they'd have no way of getting it back.
The Air Force were still on the water talking about the clues when Manbot2 spotted the Key Industries building and directed the captain to take them to it and they soon arrived and debarked onto land.
Down in the cavern, a worried Charles agreed to go for dropping the token into the slot which turned out to be the right decision as it opened the door for them and they walked into a chamber with lots of carved stones on the walls and floors and torches that apparently have been lit for centuries. I love this show, but come on. The chamber should be dark and dusty! And that close to the water, it should be pretty darned dank too!
This has me worried, because you know I want the Southies to win. If the Geniuses figure out the code for the cryptex quickly, it's going to be all over.
As for the Southies, they found the Key Industries building very fast. The clue was that the answer is right in front of them, so they looked right in front of them and there it was. Where were these guys in the Library of Congress? If they had only used the card catalogue from the beginning, their lead right now would have been HUGE!
Inside, the Air Force contestabots were still looking for what we now know is that round metal chamber. They weren't sure what they needed to find, so Womanbot said they needed to go back outside and get to the flag that was with the Key Industries sign. One of the Manbots (it was dark, I couldn't tell which) said they would have to back all the way down, and Womanbot said she calculated they would have to do that, because how else would they be able to get up to the flag? As they were walking, they saw a shadow through one of the windows. It was the Southies climbing the stairs up. The contestabots ducked and turned the volume on their voice modulators down to 2, whisper quiet. They said maybe they do have to go back out.
The Southies got to the door and went inside, had a short brawl with each other, then went off to find the chamber. One of the twins, Martin, I believe, asked the others to listen to him and said they need to search methodically and that everytime someone says no to something, it turns out that thing is it. He then said they're in the same boat as everyone else now, so they're back in the ballgame.
Down in the hidden chamber, the Geniuses were still trying to figure out the code to the cryptex. Francis asked what other cryptex things should they be trying as Sam was examining said cryptex. Francis said, "We gotta think! This is killing me."
And on that note... To be continued.
Noooooooooooooooooooo! Okay Southies, this gives you a week to catch up!
One more episode left in the season and it's the live finale. We find out who found the treasure first, and that team will finally find out what that treasure is. There will also be a reunion, so it'll be nice to see some of our other favourite teams again.
It'll be a little sad for me. Not just the show ending, but I had to turn down an invitation to the live finale because I can't make the trip right now. I'll be there in spirit though, and though I'm cheering on the boys from Boston, I'd like to say good luck to all three remaining teams.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Realivision News - Special Collector's Edition

Changes are afoot here at Realivision! First off, you may or may not have noticed that I've fallen slightly behind, especially with Big Brother. Let's face it, with a full-time job and writing these recaps too, something as simple as going to get my hair done throws everything off-whack, then throw in the lack of sleep on top of it I also got a little burned out.
Don't get worried though, it won't be the end of full recaps. It just means there will be fewer of them. Sometimes there will be partial recaps, other times it will just be commentary. It really depends on the show. I plan on fully recapping The Amazing Race, but only partially recapping or just commenting on Dancing With the Stars.
So starting from now, the titles you see at the top will be changing in format. Instead of "Bungee Jumping With Boy Bands - Air Date August 15", you will now see "Bungee Jumping With Boy Bands - Aired Aug. 15 - Full Recap".
This change will mean less content for some shows, but it will let me cover more shows at one time while still having a semblance of a life.

***

If you spend any time at all on most of the bigger reality television message boards out there, you know of the negativity and bashing that goes on. There are those of us who would like to discuss the shows and other stuff too in a slightly more positive manner. Thus the birth of Reality Lives. Okay, so the site is still under construction, but the message board isn't and I'd like to invite you to come join it.
Amy Crews-Oulette from Big Brother 3 is a member, and there will be more reality contestants to follow (and for the record, if you're still upset about the interview shown on All-Stars you should find out how badly she was edited to make it appear that she said things about Marcellas and Janelle that she didn't).
So if you're tired of people jumping on you for having a different opinion on a contestant? Tired of non-stop hate and the trashing of reality contestants? Do you enjoy the bashing but want a place to take a breather and still discuss the shows? Come join us!

***

Finally, you know I like Marcellas. Above how good he's been to me and Realivision, he also does a lot for charity, and I'd like to share this particular good cause with you.
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CBS REALITY TV STAR, MARCELLAS REYNOLDS, INTENDS TO MAKE AN IMPACT BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THE BIG BROTHER ALL-STARS HOUSE WITH A CHARITY TEE

It's not just "Chicken George" who is getting a free food pass from Marcellas this week.

Marcellas Reynolds, the charismatic television fashion stylist and repeat contestant on CBS's summer hit reality TV series, Big Brother, practices what he preaches. Before reentering the "Big Brother" house last month as part of the "All-Stars" cast, he put a plan in action to continue to raise money in support of his favorite charity, Project Angel Food.

An avid supporter and fundraiser for the Los Angeles based Project Angel Food, Marcellas designed a "Team Marcellas" tee, available for sale starting today, with all profits going to the charity. Project Angel Food, an organization whose mission is to provide meals for men, women and children affected by HIV/AIDS and other serious illness, provides well over 1,200 nutritious meals a day to the community. Knowing the immense impact the organization makes, this is Marcellas' way of keeping perspective of what's important both inside and outside of the game.

To purchase a "Team Marcellas" tee, please visit:
http://www.marcellasreynolds.com or http://www.marcellasreynolds.com/team

Or for more information on Project Angel Food, visit http://www.angelfood.org

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It's a good cause and even if you don't want the t-shirt, why not buy one anyway then donate that, new and unworn, to charity too?

Last Comic Standing - Air Date August 8

A whole hour dedicated to the final two. Eeeeeeeeee, I can't wait to recap this! What's more fun than writing about 45 minutes or so of filler? I'm not expecting to have anything to even really riff on. As with last week, I'm going to write this as I watch the show for the first time. That way I won't be saddened about trying to think of what I'm going to have to find to say about it.
Okay, okay, there is always a bright side. Imagine if the final two were Joey Gay and Stella. If ever you wonder whether or not you've dodged any bullets in your life, think on that question.
Before we get to the final two, however, we need to find out who they are. If the producers want to impress me, they'll get it out of the way immediately. You know they won't.
Anthony Clark is greeted by another standing ovation and a loud cheer as he comes onto the stage. Really, was he that good of a host? I think it's more that the audience is terrified that he will make one of his human skin masks out of them if they don't show the proper enthusiasm. What human skin masks, you ask? Shame on you for asking, and go read back through my archives! But to save some time and pad this puppy out, I think that a combination of his natural looks with with lighting and make-up has it looking like it's not his real face at all, but instead a mask made out of human skin. Though tonight he's not looking so pasty. It's almost as if they got the make-up right, or he's just finished with a fresh victim.
The introduction of the final three is very bombastic, with bright backlighting, loud music, and Clark introducing them like comic boxers. It was a lot of work to have them stand on stage for a minute then send them backstage again.
For the first time all season, Anthony Clark did some of his own stand-up, and while he stumbled in places and had a couple of bad jokes, he made me laugh a couple of times. Well done, Anthony Clark, well done indeed. I take back the human skin mask comments. You are a far more competent comedian than you've been letting on this year.
First commercial break.
Throughout the season, comics who didn't make the show were competing online to get a chance to perform live on this episode. Tonight, the final two, Theo Von and Josh Wolf, get to perform to be the winner of Last Comic Downloaded.
Josh Wolf was first up, and meh. I snickered once or twice, but that was it. Was he really one of the best of the online comics? Maybe some of those folk weren't as good as I originally thought they were. I will say this about Josh Wolf, I could totally see him getting some love from NBC. He's a good looking guy and should be able to easily land work in a sitcom. Whether it lasts or not, that's someone else altogether.
Second commercial break.
Theo Von is introduced, and we're informed that he's currently the vote leader. Hey, nice way to subtlely influence the vote, Clark. One interesting thing about this is he too got a standing ovation when he came out, but we got a shot of one of his competitors, Kaitlin Colombo, sitting and clapping with a serious look on her face. I don't blame you, Kaitlin. You so should have been on the show ahead of Stella or Rebecca Corry. But don't take it out on the Vonmeister! Who, by the way, was moderately funnier than Josh Wolf so he should win this particular competition.
Third commercial break.
It's special guest comedian, Paul Rodriguez! I couldn't enjoy his set as much as I normally might because a couple of things he said really stuck in my craw. One was about where else in the world is free enough for comedy but America. Huh. The second was that there are no other nations where you can find ethnic diversity to the degree it exists in America. Huh. He mentioned Canadians at one point, so I know he's aware of us at least as a concept, just not seemingly as a country.
After Paul is finished, Anthony Clark brings the final three back on stage for the elimination. Something very fascinating happens as this happens. Ty Barnett is introduced, and he gets a cheer. Chris Porter is next, and he gets a slightly louder cheer and some of the people in the audience stand. Josh Blue is brought up and even more people stand to applaud. Is this going to be indicative of the voting? We're about to find out.
Fourth commercial break after one of the weakest fakeouts we've seen on any show this year.
We're back from commercial, now it's finally time to get down to business and you can tell because the lights dim and the suspenseful music starts.
The comic leaving tonight is... CHRIS PORTER?!?! Damn, I'm glad I didn't put money on him! This is the biggest upset since Shirley Temple defeated Joe Louis to become the cutest darned heavyweight champion ever!
The next big surprise is that we're going to get a performance before going to commercial again, and Josh Blue is up.
Damn, he was funny! I thought this was one of his best sets yet, and he had had me laughing more than the veteran Paul Rodriguez, but then again Josh didn't forget about Canada. He didn't mention us, but he didn't mention any other countries either. That's the thing aout Canada, we're insecure that way. It doesn't even matter what you're talking about, hell, you could be discussing quantum physics but if throw a random mention of the True North strong and free in there, we're happy.
Fifth and last commercial break.
Ty Barnett didn't impress me much at first, but every time he's peformed he's gotten better and better. This set was no different, and I found him very funny. This is going to be a tough choice because now either of these two deserve the prize.
After he was done, Clark gave us a preview of the following night's 90 minute season finale where the winner will be crowned, the previous three winners will all perform, and Jay Mohr, the old host, will once more take the stage.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

So You Think You Can Dance - Air Dates August 2 & 3

So you think you can dance? More like, so you think I forgot about this show! No fear, my little fuzzy-wumpkins, we're following it through to the bitter end! And when I say "bitter", what I mean it I'm going be sad to see it end as we've been witnesses to some great performances and choreography and we're at a place where some very deserving people are going to go home, just as Allison did the previous week.
I've only commented on a couple of host Cat Deeley's wardrobe choices, my favourite being the one that depicted the knight with the angry goose helmet. The dress she wore for this episode... I've been trying to find a way to describe it and it just occurred to me that it looks like she had it made out of parachute scraps. I've let some pretty questionable choices slide, but not this time. I've got space to fill and snark to try and hand out, but with all the talent that's left it's not like the dancers are going to give me much to work with. It's all on you, Cat. It's all on you.
The "judges" tonight are Nigel "They Like My Show!" Lythgoe, Mary "This Show's Paula Abdul" Murphy, and Mia "I'm So Artistic It Seeps Out Of My Ears" Michaels. We call them "judges" but without any power, they're more like commentators. Much like the 6th District Court! No, I don't know what that means, but if you find it funny please let me know because I'd like to be in on the joke too.
With only six dancers left and two dances per couple plus one solo each, the show has been whittled down to an hour so there wasn't even any small talk. It was right to the picking of our first pair of dancers.
Ivan drew Natalie's name, and she in turn drew Contemporary and Jive.
Ivan and Natalie (Jive) - I think I may have picked on Ivan a bit in these pages, but my earlier recaps are a bit fuzzy to me. There is a possibility that I may have commented on how young he looks, but all appearances are that he's finally had his first shave as he has really grown in this competition. These two did a nice little jive that wouldn't have been nearly as good last month. The judges did not like it at all though. While I may not have a trained eye, I'd like to think that after watching the show and hearing the criticisms that I'm starting to see what they're talking about, and yes, Ivan did seem to be a little heavy on the feet, but I thought there was some chemistry there. Obviously more than the judges did. Nigel did say this was the final six though, and they are not going to take it easy on anyone now.
Travis (Solo) - It was a Travis solo. That is, it was very good and he is a truly excellent dancer. However, I was left feeling like I've already seen him do this. I'd like to see him try something faster if he gets to do another solo, and really mix up the style.
Benji drew next, and he was obviously going to get either Donyelle or Heidi as a partner, so either way we are going to be in for a treat. And he picked Donyelle! Donji's back together! Benyelle! Donyelle then picked their dance styles and drew Hip-Hop and Broadway.
Benji and Donyelle (Broadway) - This is Donjibenyelle, the Golden Couple. So why was their performance disappointing? It didn't suck, they're too good for that, but it didn't get me all worked up either. Donyelle particularly seemed to lack some energy, which is a shame because she's still my sentimental favourite in this thing. The judges agreed, and pointed out that some of Donyelle's technique was lacking.
Natalie (Solo) - I don't want to spoil things for you, but this was the best friggin' solo of the night. Say what you want about Natalie, but she has some, how do the kids say it? Mad skillz. She also changes her solos up and isn't afraid to try different moves (except that flip she always does) and some different tempos.
My favourite part of the drawing of names is the last one, because there doesn't seem to be any point in doing it. We know it's going to be Travis and Heidi. The only thing we don't know are the styles, and they drew Pop and Smooth Waltz.
Travis and Heidi (Smooth Waltz) - I've melted over some waltzes in this show before and the judges completely disagreed with me. This time it was different and this beautiful, classy performance impressed everyone. These two have teamed up before and it looked like Travis was carrying Heidi, but not this night. She was his equal on that stage.
Ivan (Solo) - I'm sorry, but there is just something about Ivan's solos that doesn't do it for me. He had one that I enjoyed a few weeks ago, but nothing since. He's good at what he does, but my favourite performances of his have been with partners.
Benji and Donyelle (Hip-Hop) - Okay, thank you Donyelle for bringing your energy back! This was much better and a lot of fun! A little on the violent side, especially at the end when Donyelle's character "punched" Benji's character and knocked him out, but what's dance without a little violence? Their chemistry worked well for this number. The most confusing thing was when Mary told Benji that he had backbone, wishbone, and funnybone. The first and third, yeah. The second one... what the hell does that mean? That we should close our eyes and snap him in two?
Heidi (Solo) - After some criticism a few weeks back, Heidi landed in the bottom three and came back with a killer solo that blew everyone away. That was the high point of her dancing without a partner on this show. As with Travis, it would be really nice to see something different. Travis should try something with a faster tempo, Heidi I'd like to see slow it down a little. I know she's a ballroom specialist so solos are alien to her, but I'd like to see her show us what she's been learning since this show began and incorporate some of the different styles. Not too much, but enough to really give us something that we haven't seen from her yet.
Kaysar (Big Brother) - Kaysar came out and saw Heidi dance solo, so he immediately went to Benji and Donyelle and said they needed to get the "floater" evicted. Julie Chen then walked on to the stage and escorted him back to the Big Brother house.
Ivan and Natalie (Contemporary) - I like Ivan better as a contemporary dancer than I do as a hip-hop dancer. After this show is over, I hope he decides to persue that route and take the neccessary classes. This routine was a pleasure to watch, or so I thought. The judges did not like it, the bastards! It seems like Ivan's lack of training really showed through on this. Natalie was there too, but as before when Ivan was paired with Allison, she was too much better than him to really say anything about.
Benji (Solo) - I've been wondering what Jayeyzms has been up to since he was eliminated from the show, and now I know. He's been making signs for the audience to hold up as evidenced by the one that said "BENiG". It's bad enough that he doesn't go by "Ben" or "Benny", Jyaaamiz, don't be making matters worse. Not that there is a problem with the name "Benji", it's just that neither that spelling or "Benjy" seem quite right. Speaking of whom, his solo was pretty good, but not his best.
Travis and Heidi (Pop) - Don't be fooled by the "pop" in this dance, there was a lot of African influence in this dance and it was absolutely amazing! Good enough that I actually rewound the tape and watched it again! Both dancers held their own and really brought it to the performance. The best part? The judges agreed with me!
Donyelle - Like Natalie, Donyelle seems willing to bring new things to her solos and it shows. This was different from when we've seen her dance solo before, and it was good.

***

Which brings us to the results show, and one of my favourite ensemble pieces yet. It was choreographed by Mia Michaels, so brava Ms. Michaels, it was excellent!
Unlike the previous night there was time for small talk and behind the scenes footage. What? You want me to describe it to you in detail? Sorry, I've got to put this puppy to bed soon so I can squeeze in Last Comic Standing before Big Brother comes on!
This time around there are so few dancers left that there wouldn't be a bottom two because everyone is in the bottom three for their respective sexes. Because the voting is already over the solos won't count towards anything, but instead will just be a chance to dance for the audience one more time.
Natalie - Nowhere near as good as the previous night, but really laden with emotion. She was in tears when she was done, and she said she was dancing for former competitor Allison who was sitting in the audience, also crying like her dog just got Cheneyed in the face.
Heidi - After some criticism a few weeks back, Heidi landed in the bottom three and came back with a killer solo that blew everyone away. That was the high point of her dancing without a partner on this show. As with Travis, it would be really nice to see something different. Travis should try something with a faster tempo, Heidi I'd like to see slow it down a little. I know she's a ballroom specialist so solos are alien to her, but I'd like to see her show us what she's been learning since this show began and incorporate some of the different styles. Not too much, but enough to really give us something that we haven't seen from her yet.
Yes, that was a complete copy and paste of her last solo. The only thing she's really changing up is the end, and she is finishing her solos off quite spectacularly. She can touch her foot to the back of her head, for cryin' out loud!
Donyelle - The best solo for the women this night, and again a lot of emotion. She didn't cry, but looked like she was going to, at least more than normal. I love Donyelle and she is a very beautiful woman, but for some reason she always looks like she's trying to keep from crying.
Travis - Okay, I could do the copy and paste thing again but I won't. But remember how I said I'd love to see him do something faster? The music this time was even slower! We know you can do well at slow tempos, Travis! Now take our breath away with some speed!
Ivan - Not bad. There were some moves and transitions he made that let me enjoy this more than his usual solo.
Benji - Pretty damned good. Now one thing I haven't done in this section was get into the judge's comments, and some of them (okay, Mia) were pretty damned harsh. But the judges did have something to say after each one and Mary took this opportunity to explain her backbone/wishbone/funnybone comment. The backbone is Benji's style, the wishbone is that he really wanted this and to be there (ah!), and the funnybone is that Benji is funny. Thanks for clearing that up, Mary! And a big thank you for not screaming over the course of two whole episodes!
After the solos, there was a performance by some singer that I've never heard of, proving once more that I'm getting too old and I should be in Vegas throwing my panties at Tom Jones.
When the song was finished, Cat brought the women over and got really tedious by reading a lot of comments about each one. She then told Heidi she was safe, then threw us into commercial. Evil!
Coming back from this short break, she called the men over, did the same loooong read through of comments, and then Travis found out he was safe.
Then it was time for the eliminations. Natalie and Donyelle stood there, hand in hand, waiting for the axe to drop. Natalie would be going home. There were some gasps from the audience, a fraction of a second for her to absorb this, then with a big smile she raised her arms and shouted "OPA!" Her heritage is Greek, you see. It was actually a great way to say goodbye, and she was rewarded with laughs, cheers, and even a standing ovation from the judges. Now that's the way to go out!
Finally it was the two men left, Ivan and Benji. If the Benmeister was to leave now, it would be one of the biggest upsets ever in the history of reality dance competitions. Bigger than even some of the people Master P beat in last season's Dancing With the Stars. You never know what treacherous audience members are going to get up to with a little voting power in their hands. It wasn't to be, however, Ivan was sent packing and all is right with the world.
We're now down to a very good final four, and there is only one competition episode left. See that little "Comments" thing underneath this? Who do you think is going to win?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Treasure Hunters - Air Date August 7


This recap is dedicated to Team Miss USA. You ladies were screwed over by the producers' bad decision. The other teams should at least have had to search for their cars.

The critics of Treasure Hunters can't decide if they don't like the show because it's too much like The Amazing Race or if it's not enough like it. Me, I love the show for what it is, but that's not to say there isn't room for improvement and there is one way I'd like to see it inch a little closer to the Race. At the end of the last episode everyone was still in France. As we begin this episode, the remaining hunters were just arriving back in New York, United States. Even if it's just a call from studly Laird shouting orders at them to get their butts back to American soil, that would be something. As it is, it feels like there is a gap in the narrative. I'm not saying there should be airport shenanigans, but it would be nice to see how and why they're going from Point A to Point B.
Genius Charles did a voiceover here and he sounded positively orgasmic about being back on American soil a
gain. That excited after just a few days in the United Kingdom and France? Chucky's not the travelling type, is he? I'd hate to see how he'd fare on his dream of a five year mission to boldly go where no one has gone before.
John Southie's does an interview where he says it's their time to shine, but the most important thing here is the close-up on John. You know what that means. That's right, time to pause the tape and bask in the gorgeousness.
The teams are split up into two limos, the Southies and Ex-CIAs in one, the Geniuses and Treasure Force Contestabots in the other. I wonder if this was deliberate, because the first two teams were in Alaska together and the other two teams were in the South Pacific together back in the beginning. Anyway, Ensign Charles of the Starship Geniuses had a feeling they were going to hear from Admiral Laird and his sweet Vulcan ways soon. If they did, we weren't privy to the communication. What we did get was Womanbot talking about how American history has been woven through the entire hunt and her circuits were abuzz over how it will all come together in the end.
The cars pulled up the the Waldorf Astoria, a pleasant enough looking joint if you're in need of a bed to flop in for the night. Lieutenant Francis of the Starship Geniuses was very excited about this, so much so that he forgot what he was doing and was only able to calculate the value of pi to 19 places. Apparently he knows a lot of rich people who keep sending him postcards of swanky places to make him feel bad about his homemade Starfleet uniforms. That's right, this week the Geniuses are getting a Trekkie theme throughout the entire recap.
What can I say about the suite they were ushered into? You could fit two or three of my entire apartment into there, though I do my best to keep my home fancy on a chimney sweep's pay.
Ensign Charles was thrilled that not only did they have a butler, but a captain too! Now he could finally get reassigned away from the tyrannical Captain Sam! He said they've never been allowed anywhere near a place like that. Other places they've never been allowed near? The cool kids' lunch table, popular parties, the awesomest frats on campus, and girls' bedrooms. By winning Treasure Hunters, they might finally get their revenge!
The teams celebrated and toasted being in the final four. Double-0 Mark (licensed to grill) had a wee bit too much to drink, and he didn't care if his martinis were shaken, stirred, or martinis. He just wanted to enjoy the demon rum. This concerned his teammates, as Double-O Todd (licensed to chill) let us know. Double-0 Jacob (licensed to thrill) voiced his concern, and Mark said he just wanted to have a good time.
After a night of what had to be some decadent debauchery, the contestants got their next Lairdogram. He let them know that this day the location of the final artifact would be revealed, but first they must find the code that unlocks the cryptex they found last week. The search begins with a familar face (and we were shown an image of a Susan B. Anthony dollar) at the Great Americans Hall of Fame.
There were four of the coins by the Lairdovision set, and each team grabbed one and bolted.
Dreamy John Southie played it smart and hired a cab to lead them to the Hall. It was smart in two ways. Providing the cab driver knows where he's going (trust me, teams, if you watch Amazing Race you'll see how often that can go wrong) they'll get there fast and not get lost, and it also provides another opportunity for a John close-up.
Captain Sam was piloting the Carship Geniuses through Newyorkian space and needed Ensign Charles to navigate. The junior officer was getting pretty snappy with his commander when all the captain wanted was a clarification of a direction given. I think he should have thrown Chucky into the brig for a night to cool off and to learn to respect his superior officers.
The Carship made an unexpected move, which confused the standard equipment GPS systems in the Air Force contestabot units. People think I'm joking about the mechanical nature of Team Air Force, but the robotic way Manbot2 read out loud about Susan B. Anthony totally supported my assertions.
Double-0 Mark (licensed to be quiet everyone because his head is killing him this morning) was driving for the Ex-Spooks, and they decided to follow the Southie Boys.
His teammates teased him about his driving, that he drives like a grandmother and his knuckles were totally white from clinging to the steering wheel. He laughed, but I saw him eyeing the eject buttons.
The Southies arrived first, took a little time to remove their shirts and flex their chisled bodies, and headed on inside. They got to the bust of Susan B. Anthony and started looking around for some sort of clue without much luck. Then we got another interview with John. It's going to take forever to get through this episode at this rate.
The Ex-CIAs surprisingly pulled up next, considering that their navigational skills would have had me betting on them being somewhere in New Jersey by this point. The other two teams got there soon after, but I've got nothing witty to say about it.
All four teams examined the bust and something caught me eye. It's amazing on these shows how easy it is to forget that it's not just the contestants running around but camera operators too. That's why seeing the shadow of a cameraman came as a surprise even though we know they are there. And more than one as well. Considering that each team would have their own camera, you'd think they'd get into more shots.
Back to the show, after searching the grounds a bit, it suddenly occurred to them to wonder what direction ol' Susie was looking at, and sure enough she was looking at a bust of Lafayette where there was a mailbox with the next clues. Why there is a mailbox right in front of the bust of Lafayette, I don't know, unless he was never able to shake his Columbia House responsibilities.
Once they got the clues, which directed them to the Gould Memorial Library, all the teams took off faster than Ensign Charles running from a Klingon landing party.
Library? Where were the books? The periodicals? The microfiche? Maybe they were tucked away, but this was more like an art gallery. The Motorola phones rang and Lairdbrarian told the hunters that for thousands of years artists have hidden messages in their artworks. The next clue is hidden in one of the displayed paintings, and he added cryptically, "In this case, art imitates life." We as the audience were let in on what painting it is, as we see a picture of people in an art gallery and a sculpture in that gallery casting a shadow in the form of a ship on a white, round object.
Manbot1 asked, "What is this 'art' you humans enjoy, and what are these things called 'emotions' that it affects?" Ensign Charles screamed, "ROBOT!" and shot his mechanical nemesis with his phaser, but the beam ineffectually reflected off Manbot1's advanced skin-like alloy.
Okay, that didn't happen, but it was fun to write.
Captain Sam called his crew over as he found the painting we saw previously and it was titled, "Today."
They went over to the sculpture, turned on a light switch, and saw the shadow of a ship projected onto a white, round bench or table just as it was in the painting. If I may interject, and you know how I hate doing that, this was actually pretty damned cool. Looking at the sculpture, at least from most angles except for straight on otherwise this wouldn't be possible, you would never see the shape of a ship, yet the shadow most definitely was one. They turned the light back off before the other teams saw it and went to a painting that had a ship silhouetted against the moon.
The card under the painting read...
"Sailing to Philadelphia"
oil on canvas
Property of Land Title Building
Philadelphia, PA
They beamed themselves out of there quickly to get a headstart on the remaining teams, but it may not have been much of a lead as Manbot1's optical imaging scanners was able to compare the first painting to the surroundings he was currently in.
The other two teams were there to share in this clue, and somebody noticed the Geniuses were missing. The first concern is that they may have somehow wandered into Romulan space, but Manbot1 then calculated that it was more likely they had already seen the clue and skedaddled.
"Warp factor 10, Mr. Charles!" as the Geniuses made tracks to their Carship. Lieutenant Francis said, "I never run this fast unless I'm running towards sex or food." Even then, neither is never more than a hand's reach away for him.
The Starfleet officers were in the Carship Geniuses when the other teams came out of the "library", and Double-0 Mark asked them if they're going to Philly. Ensign Charles, in a clear case of insubordination, shouted at his captain to "Go! GO!" Tsk tsk. I thought the Federation was supposed to help people!
Philadelphia is Lieutenant Francis' hometown, and he figured that would give them an advantage. I'm left hoping for an Amazing Race moment where the team member in their hometown gets more hopelessly lost than anyone else.
Womanbot accessed her empathy subroutine and said that the Geniuses were probably just trying to even up the playing field by leaving like they did.
I had no idea how close New York was to Philadelphia. I just Googled (sorry Ask.com, the product placement hasn't swayed me, but if you send me one of those nifty t-shirts we haven't seen in a while...) the distance, and while I wasn't able to get consistant answers it's basically somewhere between a 90 to 100 minute drive. That's a little disappointing, because I was hoping it would be a 12 hour nightmare.
The Carship Geniuses arrived first, with Ensign Charles and Lieutenant Francis getting snippy at each other over the spelling of "Philadelphia".
Francis was stoked about going home to Philly and said they automatically had an advantage. The team then tried to do some three way fist bump or something but it just came off as awkward and wrong, especially with Charles holding a pen in his pasty hand.
Other teams started arriving, the Ex-CIAs in their gadget-packed supercar and the Southies in their Southiemobile. Nothing on the Air Force who just may have decided to run all the way.
At the Land Title Building, their Motorolaoid communicator chirped and the Geniuses got a message from Admiral Laird. The building is 110 years old, and the 22nd floor holds the information they seek. They can reach it in Suite 2226 but only one of them may make the journey. Ensign Charles is selected for this duty, and it's no coincidence that he's wearing a red shirt on this particular day (seriously, I love that he's wearing a red shirt, if you don't click on the links normally you should check that one out to see why).
In the Southiemobile, the Mullen twins are arguing, particularly Martin who is driving. Matthew understand this though, because in an interview he said that driving in cars for 14 hours straight, for three weeks, a lot of frustration builds up and you have to vent.
As the Ex-CIAs pull up to the building, the Geniuses get another Lairdorola message. Their partner is searching for a plaque located out on the ledge of the 22nd floor. They can see it from the ground, but it can only be read from the ledge. There have been one game-inhibiting and two game-ending injuries so far. I don't think the producers are going to be happy until they kill someone off. Anyway, if the teammate is afraid of heights one of them will have to go as a replacement.
Lieutenant Francis then happily was thankful that Ensign Charles is not afraid of heights. Afraid of asking girls out, sure. Afraid of jocks giving him wedgies, absolutely. But he laughs at heights.
As soon as he is beamed up to the 22nd floor, Chuck gets a message. "A bird of peace holds the code to this door. If your credit had wings you'd find the answer for sure."
He pulled out his Visa card and used the security code on back to key in the code on the lock and it lets him into the room.
The Ex-CIAs arrived, and Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) was the one sent up.
Captain Sam and Lieutenant Francis went outside and tried to make out the 22nd floor, and upstairs Ensign Chuckles took a look out the window he'd be exiting through and said it was going to be sweet. Francis Motorolaed him and told him the thing he was looking for was on the ledge and that he would have to go outside, something I'm sure may have escaped Charles' notice what with all the harness gear laying around and the people behind the camera who were there to make sure he was safe. What's really odd, and maybe it was the harnesses, but everyone was wearing them underneath their shirts with a cord sticking out. Are we supposed to believe they were really risking their lives to do this?
In the hallway outside, Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) didn't have the Visa card on him, that was with Double-0 Jacob (licensed to thrill). He had to decide whether he was going to go back downstairs or stay. Or, I don't know, use your cellphone to call Oh-Oh-Jake to get the code?
When Chuck got out on the ledge and I saw the safety cable go out and up, I really wanted someone to jump. Fall would be fun, but jump would be amazing. As long as they didn't get hurt. He was surprised how far up he was, and that the guys below looked like ants. Can we please find a new simile for people appearing to be very tiny now? No, I'm not going to do it right now. I have a recap to get through.
The Southies and Air Force arrived at the building, and the two ground-dwelling Geniuses did their best to hide behind a potted plant so they wouldn't be spotted. Really.
John Southie was chosen to go up, which was ironic given that his teammates are firefighters and are likely quite used to heights. For the Air Force it was Manbot2.
They got to the 22nd floor and Manbot2 tried out his Visa, letting himself in with John Southie opening the door and going in first. This meant that Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) would go from being the second one to the door to the fourth one out the window. Really, to be fair who would have thought they would need their Visa cards? "To get your next clue, you must go to the top of this building and shop!"
Matthew Southie told Womanbot they were going outside, which pissed off Marty No Pants who told him to stop talking to her. In the open air, he told Matthew that if doesn't keep his mouth shut he's going to knock him out. I understand the reasoning, but I didn't like the fighting. This was a side of our Boys I hadn't seen before, but like they said, there was a lot of frustration and long hours built up.
Ensign Charles was up on the ledge and his two senior officers had a pair of binoculars to help them find the plaque. What make of binoculars? We don't know because nobody ponied up the cash to get their name mentioned. Hey, Bushnell! This is your chance to get yourselves noticed!
There was an incredible shot of Charles pressed against the building on the ledge, but I don't have a copy of this show in a format that will let me take a screenshot, so instead I have the above picture of silent movie legend Harold Lloyd from his classic film, Safety Last!
The guys inside couldn't believe they were going to do that, and Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) told us he is scared of heights. Unless he has to hang from a helicopter while chasing down Jaws and Oddjob.
Chuck was going fast on the ledge and almost fell at one point, so he had to slow down. He got safely to the plaque though and had to get down to read it. "Founders Hall. Girard." Francis said he knew where they were going, so they headed back to the building for the junior officer and he was saying that he knew where Gerard is, that the others would think it's a name but it's an avenue. Not to get picky here, but it's the name of an avenue, so they'd still be right. Now if he said "name of a person", then it wouldn't have sounded so silly.
Double-0 Jacob (licensed to thrill) got on the phone and started giving Oh-Oh-Todd directions, but Todd said no. That's when the other two found out what happened with the locked door and the missing Visa card and they weren't happy to find out they just went from second to last.
After the commercial break Lieutenant Francis was still saying the other teams would think Gerard is a name instead of an avenue, making me want to smack him and tell him that it's still a friggin' name! But I calmed down when I realized that usually on these shows if someone is this positive about something, they're probably wrong and will get horribly lost.
Manbot2 got out on the ledge and that's when he realized he didn't have the gyro-stabilizers he thought he did and his self-preservation subroutine kicked in, giving him an approximation of "scared of heights".
On the ground, Manbot1 was uploading directions and calm-inducing programming, while Womanbot said to the surrounding traffic, "Cars! Quiet!" If only her database included the information that even though many of today's cars have computers, none of them are advanced enough to take audible commands like that. Manbot1 made it to the plaque, and they were soon off to the next location.
As John Southie was preparing for his ledge walk and the Air Force was exchanging newly acquired data, the Ex-CIAs weren't looking too happy about being in last place over something that couldn't even be called a screw-up. Who knew they would need the Visa cards for this?
The Carship Geniuses was either on Girard or heading to Girard or something. Captain Sam was concerned, but his first officer was confident they were doing the right thing. Mutiny almost broke out as the two of them started getting snippy and shouty with each other.
John standing on the ledge looked like an action hero. All handsome and windblown and risking his life. However, when he talked about how he would crap himself if he falls, well, that wasn't so action hero-like. Marty No Pants thought it was funny that he's the one with a dangerous job as a fireman, but John was the one up on the building. If you haven't read John's bio, he's a mortgage broker. The most dangerous thing he faces at work is escrow. He made though. He had to. That face should not be hitting pavement.
One of the funniest moments of the series to date was with two of the Ex-CIAs sitting downstairs listening to Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) talk over the phone and say, "I hope I don't get dizzy with this sinus infection and fall off. That's gonna suck." It was a cross between seeing them sit there and Todd's delivery being enhanced by the radio-like quality of the sound over the phone that made this quite hilarious, despite having a sinus infection mixed with a fear of heights that makes what he's about to do not so funny.
Before we find out if he makes it, we pay a visit to the Southies in their vehicle and they talk about how right now it's about hoping they have the right directions while another team has the wrong ones.
The Air Force contestabots have been fixed since the whole not mentioning Motorola scare of Twenty Aught Six, and they dutifully mention Ask.com as they search for directions to their next location and Manbot2 found Girard College.
Back to the Carship, we get the graphic I've been expecting to see...
Geniuses
Lost
Ensign Charles said they don't have a clue as to where they're going on Girard (the avenue with a name that's not a name), and Captain Sam basically repeated that by saying that once they get on Girard, they don't have any clue as to which direction to go. I love when this happens to teams in their own towns!
Back on the ledge, Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) not only has to deal with his fear of heights and the sinus infection, he's also the biggest of the men who have done this and on a narrow ledge, that's not an advantage. He was making his way around but was doing so very slowly. He said that was one of the scariest things he's ever done, so obviously he's never made sweet love to me. You'd think I'd know if this has ever happened, but one night in 1956 I started drinking some tequila and I don't remember anything else until 1993. That may have been my longest bender, but my best was still in 1928 when Al Capone and I were... Oh, never mind. All you want to know is that Todd made it to the plaque. Let's see him try it again with a gut full of bathtub gin!
The Southies weren't too sure of where they were going, so they did something really incredible. They stopped for directions. I know that's a stereotype for guys, but it's still pretty impressive to see it happen. The one guy they found knew where Founders Hall was and was able to send them on their way in the right direction.
Team Air Force were the first to find Founders Hall (Francis, with all your "I'm from Philly talk" and your commanding lead leaving the previous building), and they were the first to hear from Professor Laird. He talked about Stephen Girard and how without his lending the country money, the U.S. might have lost the War of 1812. That depends on your standpoint, of course. From Canada's standpoint, you guys lost and we kicked your butt! Try to take over our country, eh? Disagreements aside, Laird hasn't been allowed to show much in the say of personality so far due to the nature of his Motorola visits, but a little bit of his true Lairdness shone through when he said if they had "lost" (you lost!) he might be speaking to them with an English accent, gov'nor. There are two dozen rooms in the building, he continued, and some of them have secret entrances. They might not have to search them all though, because the code that opens their cryptex can be found in more than one location. They'll have to hurry though, because for one team the hunt will end here.
The contestabots went in and started searching for a clue. They found their way into a basement through tunnels. In one corner they found a pile of what appeared to be relics including a shipping log of Stephen Girard's and a model ship. This gets them calculating that a seven-letter ship name may be the answer to the cryptex, which they took with them as they headed back upstairs.
You know I've got me some Southie love, and I've got the restraining orders to prove it. They had to share top spot in my heart with the Miss USAs for cheering on in the game for quite a while, but they were the first and due to a bad production decision, they will be the last team I cheer for. We get on great at the Southie's message board and as much as I drool over John, Martin and Matthew are great guys too (and pretty damned sexy). However, if they ever scare me like they did in this next part again, I will have to hunt them down and smack them upside their heads myself.
The cameras were a distance away, so I'm not sure which of the twins were driving but the one in the back mentioned to pull into a spot and the other one snapped, "Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!"
As they were getting out of the truck, "Let's go! Let's go!" was called out and one of them said, "Shut up, I'll go when I'm ready! Don't tell me what to do."
Some pushing started that John very quickly got between, and he shouted to the twins to both shut up. Insults were being thrown, swears were being beeped, and John kept shouting at them each to shut up.
Shut up!
SHUT UP!
There were moves towards physical contact, but John kept preventing this from happening and he kept wanting them to shut up and stop fighting. As he mentioned in an interview, they had a great chance of making the final three and he's busy trying to break up a fist fight. He was with one of the twins telling him to just end it, or does he want to go home and end it, while the other twin was walking off down the lawn away from the building.
Boys! Don't make me pull this recap over! I'll turn it right around if I have to!
After the commercials John was still trying to get the guys to end the fight when we went to see how the Ex-CIAs were doing and they seemed to have found their location online. The crew of the Carship Geniuses finally found Girard Avenue and from there spotted Founders Hall just around the same time the Ex-Spooks were arriving.
John Southie convinced one of the twins (sorry guys, I can tell you apart close up now but from a distance, not so much) to apologize, and that Mullen boy said his brother is lucky he doesn't get five knuckles. John tried to the mood by saying when it's over, they can all fight each other, but unfortunately he didn't say if a wading pool full of pudding would be involved. John's my hero now as he was able to get them back together and into the building before the last two teams arrived, though it looked like it wasn't by much. Ooooh, that editing is a tricky business I tell you.
The Air Force was still inside searching for seven-letter ship names, which makes this one of the closest finishes for a while because a lucky guess or find and any one of these teams could now be eliminated.
Manbot2 went to examine a large painting when Womanbot ordered him not to touch it, so they continued looking around.
The Ex-CIAs were running around and Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) wanted to take a look at one of the ship models but his team kept running so he went with them pointing out there was a boat that they just passed.
Even the Geniuses were moving with as much speed as they could muster and they tried out the ship names.
Double-0 Todd (licensed to... oh, forget it, I ran this bit into the ground last recap) kept saying there was something about the boat in the model case, and his teammates replied that's not it. Silly teammates.
In a big empty hall, one of the Manbots asked his team if they tried "Freedom", then Womanbot asked if they tried "Liberty". As Manbot1 tried that last word, the codex started to ship and sure enough that was was magic word. The clue inside said "Library of Congress", so expect to hear a lot of shushing next week. Shhhh! That's one of the final three teams, two more to go. Laird called and instructed them to recharge at "the camp", which at this point could be another bed and breakfast, a hotel, or a luxury yacht for crying out loud. Why can't it be like that when I go camping?
The Ex-CIAs weren't having much luck, so Double-0 Todd finally to go check out the name of the ship, the one the Geniuses were at this point examining. It didn't work and as they were leaving it the Ex-Spooks were coming down the stairs towards it, leading to an awkward passing on the staircase.
In what appeared to be the same empty hall the Air Force just left, the Southies stopped searching and decided to try some logical attempts at what the word could be. The brainstorming brought up "Liberty Bell", so when John put in "Liberty" it worked and all the fighting was finally over as they had something to celebrate. More importantly, it was cause for an interview with a happy John in close-up.
We now have two of the final three. Only one team left to go.
Team Geniuses came to the same painting the Air Force didn't touch and proceded to completely ignore the Prime Directive by messing with our historic culture and they discovered that it was also a door with a hidden room behind it.
The Ex-CIAs came to the painting too, but Double-0 Jacob didn't thing that was it so they left.
The hidden room appeared to be full of archives and a lot of models of ships so the Geniuses started looking for seven-letter ship names.
In a not-so-hidden room the Ex-CIAs were back at the ship model that first grabbed Double-0 Todd's attention and Double-0 Jacob noted that the map on the wall was an 1811 map of Philadelphia and so they looked for seven-letter words on there.
This was getting tense as Ensign Charles was trying "Liberty" from a model ship just as Double-0 Todd was trying it from the map.
Chuck got his cryptex open first, and we now have our final three.
But what's this? The Ex-CIAs opened their cryptex, pulled out the clue and started looking at it. They were very happy about this and started high-fiving each other. Oh?
The Geniuses' Motorola communicator rang and Admiral Laird made it official, they were indeed one of the final three teams.
As for the Ex-CIAs, their celebration was a little premature as L informed them that they are the seventh team and final team to be eliminated, but they were close to making it.
This was the most confused that we've seen a team, and understandably so. It wasn't like there was only three artifacts for four teams. They all had this clue and they had just opened their codex, so they had to assume that the Geniuses opened theirs first. For the second week in a row an elimination just didn't feel right. It must have been close for them to not get a phonecall before they opened their codex, but to see the celebration cut down like that? I didn't care for it. Something for the producers to try to avoid if there is a second season, and ooooh do I want a second season. Despite these flaws, I love this show, and it's not like this is the only show things go wrong in.
Todd, who I've really come to enjoy in the past couple of episodes now that we started seeing more of him, said it was sad to be eliminated but he had the most amazing time ever and he did things he would never do.
So that's it. One more episode next week and then the live finale on August 21st. I'm going to miss Treasure Hunters when it's over, but it'll be nice to reacquaint myself once more with my old friend, sleep. It's going to be nice to see how all these artifacts tie together in the end.
GO SOUTHIES!