Realivision Correction - Yes, even we make mistakes

Correction: In the last commentary on The Amazing Race, I talked about a "fourth place curse" on former pageant contestants competing on these shows. Thanks to years of oxygen deprivation from living up in the peaks of the mountains surrounding Edmonton, my memory isn't quite what it used to be. In Treasure Hunters, Team Miss USA in fact came in fifth, not fourth like I thought. It was Team Ex-CIA who came in fourth, and as far as I knew, none of them has ever competed in a pageant.
Team Miss USA may well have made it to the final four if not for an unfortunate decision the producers of Treasure Hunters made, but I've already gone into that in the appropriate recap.
So when you read back on this week's Amazing Race commentary, please skip my unfortunate error.


Correction: There are no mountains surrounding Edmonton, and even if there were, I do not live on one. Therefore oxygen deprivation is no excuse.

Realivision deeply regrets any inconvenience these errors may have caused.

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 26 - Commentary

Here's the thing... If you want to avoid looking like a huge, friggin' hypocrite, don't plan on using the Yield against a team then get all pissy and superior when they beat you to it and Yield you instead. This keeps happening, and I don't get it. The Single Moms started going on about karma getting the Miss Americas, but would it then be karma if they got to it first?
Ah, they annoy me. I do want to see them get to the final three though. Along with the Miss Americas. How awesome would it be for two of the final three to be all female teams?
And I should give credit where credit is due. Despite being Yielded and despite being the least physically able team left, the Single Moms managed to come in second. If not for the Yield, they may well have come in first this leg. All this time, everyone one of us thought it was the Cho brothers who were being held back by being in the Back Pack alliance (come on, you know you thought this), but it turns out that it was the Single Moms. That was quite the surprise.
Rob and Kimberley continue having highly amusing car problems, this time a flat tire. Dang, I love this team. I mean, as people they appear to suck, but they are so hugely entertaining. If they make it to the final three, I'd be quite happy. As long as it's not at the expense of the Miss Americas.
Speaking of the Miss Americas, back when Rob and Amber were racing, it annoyed me immensely that they didn't stop when another team's car crashed. But that was a crash, and it could have been serious. Passing another team who has a flat tire doesn't bother me at all. You're in the final four! Revel in the flatness of that tire!
I also like that the Miss Americas are honest with us with how they're playing the game. I don't mind people who are playing evil, but don't be hypocritical about it and don't lie to the audience.
Team Realivision had me worried last night, unfortunately. All it takes in the Race is one missed turn and you're gone. If they didn't get lost on the way to the Detour, it would be Rob and Kimberley being marked for elimination. The fact that it was a non-elimination leg is all that kept this blog from being soaked with tears today. Not that it means the Miss Americas are safe. They absolutely need to come in first on the next leg, or they are likely going home. If they do get eliminated, that'll make them the second pageant team in a row to break my heart in the final four (though unlike Treasure Hunters' Team Miss USA, at least there won't be questionable decisions on the producers' side casting a pall over the result). Maybe we need a Team Miss Canada to break this fourth place curse. Can we get one in the next Rockstar? Canadians kick ass in that show. Two in a row, baby!
The blandest team left are the Junkie Models. Really. Maybe they're bland because they're former junkies. Possibly they were more exciting when they were using. All I know is they are very boring. In the Road Block, one of them (I can't tell which is which) let out the most half-hearted, low energy cheers for his teammate. For all the effort he put into it, he might as well have whispered his encouragement. At least it was funny to watch. Worst. Cheerleader. Ever.
The sad thing is, I may have to root for them if the Miss Americas are eliminated next week. Come on, Dustin and Kandice! You HAVE to come in first now! We know you can do it! Even better still? If you do, you'll be the first team this season to survive a non-elimination without the help of others!

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 24 - Commentary

I really want to dislike the choice for eviction this week, but I can't. For the Aitu tribe, it does make sense. Jonathan, on the other hand, made quite a bone-headed move that may have screwed him out of a million dollars, even though it may well have got him some of that sweet second place dough. So maybe it might not be so bone-headed after all. Especially if he had no chance of winning anyway.
But before we get more into that, let me just say it's nice to see someone playing a little smarter and willing to take a little more risk with the hidden immunity idol this season, not like last time around when Terry could have used it to get the numbers on his side, but instead used it as a back-up in case he lost a challenge (his alliance worshipped him, so if he kept the numbers on his side he wouldn't have needed it).
Yul, on the other hand, is rocking it. He knew his alliance was in trouble, so he was willing to share the information with it, and formulate a plan that would not only keep them safe, but even the playing field (and damn, he even managed to get the numbers in their favour, he's that good). If anyone deserves to win, it's Yul.
Or Ozzy. He has been kicking so much ass in the competitions. And was anyone stupid enough to bet against him in the Hanging-Onto-The-Pole challenge? When I saw that, I knew he had this one in the bag. If anything, this challenge was tailor-made to get Aitu's plan working optimally.
In case you missed it, the plan was to try and swing Jonathan back to their side so they'd have the numbers to vote out someone from Raro, and failing that, Yul was willing to sacrifice the hidden immunity idol by playing it, thus voting out the next highest vote getter. Luckily, Jonathan was so terrified that he'd be that next highest vote getter, Yul was able to swing him, though it did take showing him the idol to do it.
By swinging to the other side a second time, Jonathan just made himself the most hated person on that island. On the other hand, it also made him the most attractive choice for everyone to take to the final two with them, something Yul has already noticed. It also looks to have the added effect of giving us much drama next week, with the treacherous, back-stabbing Candice actually being hypocritical enough to try and take the moral high road over Jonathan. Oh, that's going to be fun to see!
Here's the thing though... Jonathan not only didn't have to swing, he could have been a bit of a hero with Raro. Sure, both Ozzy and Yul had immunity, but why are those the only two Aituians (?) they could possibly vote for? All Raro had to do was make Aitu think they're voting for Yul, but instead vote for Sundra or Becky. That would have cut their number down to three, because Yul would have been holding on to the hidden idol, and then next week they'd have even more room to work.
Of course, for that to work it would require Raro not being... what's a good for it? Morons. Yeah, that'll do it. Jonathan tried floating the idea of Yul having the idol past them, but they shot it down so quickly there's no way anyone with a scrap of intelligence should stick with that alliance of fools.
And speaking of not too smart, I want to like Nate, I really do. But after the double vote last week where he found himself alone as the sole surviving person of colour in the middle of the original caucasian tribe, why alarm bells weren't going off in his head, I don't know. Your tribe voted off Jenny before Jonathan, big guy! You should be sweating bullets! Especially with Adam being as close to Candice as he is!
I would have normally preferred Adam to be the one to go, but there are reasons that Nate made sense, both for Jonathan and for Aitu. For Aitu, it gave Jonathan a little more incentive to flip by giving him the choice of who goes, plus Nate was getting a little too chummy with Ozzy to want to keep him around. For Jonathan, he was going to piss off Raro no matter what he did, but at least this way gives him hope that if things go awry again, maybe, just maybe he might be able to get the original caucasian tribe to stick together and keep him around. That's not going to happen. More importantly, there was a possibility of Nate flipping to Aitu, so this keeps that from happening and keeps his spot safe.
So yes, I wanted Adam gone, but strategically, this was actually the best move.
For the record, I totally called the merge last week, but it's not like it was hard. When previews show Yul and Ozzy talking about turning the game around with the hidden immunity idol, it's not a stretch to see that a merge must have happened.

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 19 - Commentary

"Hey, kids, who wants to play Monopoly?"
"We do!"
"Great! Okay, we're all going to be the thimble."
"Yay!"
"Ready? Let's all roll the dice together..."
*Shake shake roll*
"Five! Reading Railroad! Let's go for a ride on the train!"
"Choo choo!"
"Let's all roll again..."
*Shake shake roll*
"Four! Connecticut Avenue!"
"Yay! Can we buy the property?"
"Now, now, son. You never know if one of our friends are going to drop by and may want to play, so we have to leave them available for them. But look at the pretty blue bar on it."
"Ooooooh!"
*Shake shake roll*
"Ten! New York Avenue! New York is a pretty city."
"It sure is!"
*Shake shake roll*
"Three! Uh oh. Chance. Taking chances can be dangerous, so we'd better leave those cards alone. Let's roll those dice before something bad happens."
*Shake shake roll*
"Six! Water works!"
"Cleanliness is next to godliness."
"Ha! You are so right, you little scamp."
*Shake shake roll*
"Eight. Chance again, darn the luck. We'd better get rolling."
*Shake shake roll*
"Eleven! We all passed Go! We're all winners!"
"Hooray!"
"Yay!"

And so goes game night at the Cho household, or at least the way I envision it. I know the brothers are really nice guys and all, but yeesh, it's possible to be nice and still be competitive. That's where the word "sportsmanship" comes from. It was so annoying watching them wait for their alliances all the time that I was happy to finally see them get eliminated. Now we're left with just competitors who will all be actually competing in this, what's the word? Oh yeah... Competition. The only reason for wanting to see the whole Back Pack make it to the final three was to see how they would handle making it to the final mat, but I suspect that as the Chos and Kentucky made plans to step on the mat hand-in-hand, Alabama would have broken off and made a run for it. Unless they stuck with the alliance complaining about it all the time.
One of the Chos (sorry, but except for Rob and Kimberley, I can't place a name with a face for any individual from any remaining team) was crying at the end, talking about how they were playing as they were raised, and so the above vision of a Monopoly game from the brothers' childhood. I still don't understand the tears, unless they were going to miss travelling further with their dear friends in a lovely jaunt around the world.
The best thing to spring from this alliance was watching the Alabama Single Moms bitch and complain about how slow the Chos were driving and how often they stopped for directions, and yet it took them most of the episode to decide to go it alone. The Chos seemed broken-hearted about it, but it was hard to feel bad for them just because one of the two teams remembered that it's a race.
Speaking of people who are remembering it's a race, I'm so happy to see Rob and Kimberley remain in the race, despite the various car troubles they were having. I don't want them to win, they're too much a pair of jerks to want to see that, but I'll be damned if they aren't entertaining in their assholery.
Realivision's chosen team, the Miss Americas, did well again, keeping their second place standing from last week intact. I'd love to have seen them pull ahead of the Junkie Models, but we can't have everything. You keep at it, Kandice and Dustin! We're behind you all the way, even if one of you has a boy's name!

WARNING: IF YOU DON'T LIKE ANY SPOILERS, EVEN FROM THE PREVIEWS, DON'T READ THIS LAST PARAGRAPH!

Unfortunately the previews for next week are very foreboding. As I've said before, all it takes is one bad leg. A wrong turn here, bad luck in a search and find challenge there, throw in the Yield and it could all go to hell next week. I can't tell you how much I'm hoping what I fear may happen doesn't happen, as I really don't want to be left cheering for the Junkie Models in the final three. I would have to though, because I really couldn't bring myself to cheer on the bitter, joyless Single Moms or the ignorant, squabbling Rob and Kimberley.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 16 - Commentary

Idiots.
As soon as Jenny opened her mouth talking about voting out Rebecca, the idea that Raro tribe is composed almost entirely of idiots cemented itself in my mind. Two people from the original caucasian tribe defected over, giving Raro two very easy Tribal Councils in a row, and what do they do? They start getting rid of tribe members they'd just spent however many days with building alliances with.
These decisions have been so monumentally moronic that it's even taking me away from one of the best twists in Survivor history - the unexpected double vote.
If there is any way better to force out allegiances, I can't think of one. Don't give people a chance to strategize and the vote will tell you a lot, and I could tell by the look on Nate's face that he learned a lot when Jenny was voted out right after Rebecca and he was left alone in a sea of pale.
I strongly suspect there will be a merge next week, and if there is, I really hope Nate jumps ship to Aitu. Unless he wins every individual immunity challenge, he's got no chance of winning as he just found out the alliance he thought he had doesn't really exist. So if he's going to go down, I really hope he takes Raro with him. Who better to see win than some member of the plucky Aitu tribe?
Plucky, yet vengeful. Oh, boo hoo, Candice. You had to go to Exile Island again. "I don't understand why the people I screwed over would have it in for me!" Stop your pathetic mewling, vile traitor! It may not be nice to enjoy someone suffering, but considering that her health or life are in no danger here, it was damned fun watching her suffer.
It wasn't even strategy drove her to "mutiny" last week. Strategy would have kept her in a strong alliance while in Aitu, keep people's trust, then after the merge shift stab them in the back. I would have respected that. But no, the only reason she jumped was to be with her cuddle-buddy, Adam. I swear, if we see another "Romber" final two, I'm going to throw up.
But at least Boston Rob had some degree of intelligence and the ability to work around camp and win competitions. Yeesh, it's bad if I'm telling someone, "Pffff, you're no Boston Rob."
On the plus side, if there is a merge next week (and I have no doubt there will be), even if Nate doesn't do the smart thing or the vengeful thing, Aitu can still even the numbers by using Yul's hidden Immunity Idol, and I've got the feeling he's a lot smarter and a lot less egomaniacal than Terry last season, so Yul just might use the thing this year, even (gasp!) giving it to an alliance mate to help get the numbers in the favour.
That would be so sweet. It would certainly make up for most of the idiotic votes we've seen so far.

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 12 - Commentary

During last night's episode teams descended into the bowels of the earth, only to be pushed aside by the Fogals who couldn't wait for the cold embrace of their Dark Lord. On the way down, they passed the Wild Hanlons, who had been lost in the mine for about 27 hours.
Damn, I miss Treasure Hunters. There were some great personalities on that show. Come back, Kayte Fogal. Please come back.
But at least we have the Cho brothers, who had to go the bathroom but decided to wait for team Alabama so they could all go together. How sweet. Okay, that didn't happen, but damn it, Chos, it's a freakin' competition!
Unlike the single moms though, they didn't help spread the "ugly American" stereotype by pissing off a whole queue full of people waiting for cabs. That's a point in their favour. However, they didn't use that to their advantage and talk the angry people into letting them have the next cab so they could beat those rude bit... bitter women in the race. That's a point against them. Seriously guys, you just had a glimpse of how badly these women want to stay in this race. It really should have been an eye-opener for them, but that doesn't seem to be the case. At least being in the final five should cause things to happen that will show them that Alabama isn't as committed to the alliance as they are.
Hmmmm... Maybe by being too nice, the Chos may have made a deal with the devil. Maybe they were the ones going for that cold embrace in the bowels of the earth!
No. They're just too nice. Good thing they're not in the Olympics. I have visions of them in a relay race, waiting for Teams Croatia and Madagascar because they're all running together.
I don't know if it shows or not, but this whole "waiting around for the other teams in the alliance" thing is really getting on my nerves.
Unlike the Miss Americas, who continue to kick ass! Sure, when last we saw them they were in second place, but no biggie. They're still secure in the race. It's all good. I just hope they don't have any problems rappelling face first down that tower. Face freakin' first! One of the Chos, I can't remember which, has an issue with heights. He's not gonna like that one!
By the way, the funniest sight of the night? Phil waist deep in mud as some Finnish athlete jumps over an obstacle and lands beside him. Phil got a little splattered, or as I like to call it in deference to my friends over at TVgasm, PhilSplattered™ while up to the PhilWaist™ in PhilMud™ by the PhilFinn™.
I loved the mud. It was great, watching people getting bogged down. I did think of Kayte Fogal while watching it, wondering how she would fare under such physical hardships. Better than the Wild Hanlons, I'm sure, who are still lost in that mine after 52 hours even though it appeared to only go pretty much straight up and down with a couple of curves.
"DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I'M HURTING?!?! OWWWWWWW! MY FOOT!"
Kayte really did make for entertaining television. Sure, Treasure Hunters had its flaws, but it was a damned good show.
Sigh.
The Amazing Race! Oh yeah, sorry. I was getting caught up in the nostalgia. You know, after however many seasons of The Amazing Race, people should know by now that if the clue after the roadblock doesn't have the words "pitstop" and "may be eliminated", they are going to be on an extended leg of the race that will be continued next week? The only disappointment was not having Phil fake the racers out with a mat this season. That was a huge disappointment, as it's always fun to see their faces drop, especially the first place finishers. Yes, I've got a bit of a cruel streak. This shouldn't be news at this point. I'm also a fan of waking contestants up in the middle of the night, but considering that pitstops always last twelve hours and the racers often have to leave at 3:00 am or so, it doesn't really count here.
Damn it.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 09 - Commentary

Ooooooooh, interesting twist this week!
But before I get to that, I have to say there is no one person I am really cheering for this season. There is no Cirie, Rupert or Stephenie to get the old heart a-pumpin' hoping they make it through the next Tribal Council. There is a tribe I'm rooting for, but no individual. I guess Yul is a good choice, and Ozzy's hanging in there despite some unfortunate comments he made earlier in the season, but meh, they're just choices for choices' sake.
Alright, the twist. They called it "mutiny", but it was really that. If it was mutiny, the tribe would have the chance to toss perceived leaders to the other side. No, this was defection, and it brought about a couple of really stupid moves.
First was Candice, who had to trust that Adam has enough pull in Raro to keep her safe. Then there was Jonathan who... what the hell was he thinking? And safety concerns are only part of the reason this was all spectacularly bone-headed. Candice and Jonathan were both in a pretty rock-solid alliance in Aitu, with the a merge looming in who knows how many days. Going into a merge with their alliance, then getting together with Adam and Poverty... er, Parvati and their alliance, they could then decide at that point which people outside of their initial alliance they want to dump as being most dangerous.
Thanks to Candice missing her little cuddlebunny, they completely alienated themselves from their Aitu alliance and showed themselves to be untrustworthy to most of the members of Raro.
Luckily for them Brad had managed to completely bungle his game and was at the top of the Raro evict list. And you know you bungled your game badly if your tribe votes you out instead of the easy choice newbies.
Normally Brad's ineptitude at the game of Survivor would have made him the smartest choice for elimination, and considering some of the nonsensical moves this season, this was one of the smartest eliminations yet. But it wasn't the smartest one they could have made.
Everyone on Raro other than Adam and Poverty... er, Parvati, should have been a hell of a lot more suspicious when the only two people to defect were the only two members of the original caucasian tribe in Aitu coming over to join the other two members of that original tribe in Raro. It's one thing to trust in your alliances, but considering that those two just screwed over whatever alliances they had in Aitu, you really need to have to wonder what's up. If there is even the slightest chance that those four are going to hook up again, you have to nip it in the bud. Jonathan would have been the safer choice because it would have kept Adam happy, but it was Candice who really needed to go. Nobody trusts Jonathan at all, and they still would have had enough numbers even if there were a merge to get rid of Brad later.
It was great to see Aitu kick ass in two consecutive challenges. I really hope they win every immunity up until the merge. I know it's driving the overly smug and way too comfortable in their untouchability Adam and Nathan crazy.
I will give one thing to the men of this season, they do seem to be running the show. Sure, the women got together and got rid of J.P. earlier, but they fell apart the very next day and it's been all about the men since then. It would be nice to see this result in a female winner though.
Go, all-but-invisible Rebecca, go!

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 5 - Commentary

Travel Tip: When visiting Madagascar, always bring along a container for gasoline and fill it up immediately if you plan on using any of the nations many wonderful taxi cabs for transportation.

Seriously, if I had known how many times cabbies would have to stop to fill up in this episode, I would have kept count. It was funny on the surface and a hoot to watch all these racers getting steamed over it. And the poor Cho brothers, stopping twice!
I have my theory on why this kept happening, but it's not so fun. If you're curious, ask me in comments and I will reply there. Right now let's just enjoy the thought of poor Mr. Cho pulling up to his second gas station.
Aaaaaaaahhhhh...
By the way, it just occurred to me that the name of the country contains both "gas" and "car". Maybe it somehow influences the need to actually put gas in cars.

But this is all taking focus off the most important thing we've been learning from this season... PAGEANT WOMEN KICK ASS! And I'm saying that as a hideous beast who would never have any chance of making into a pageant, and a feminist who has some issues with pageants in the first place (sorry, Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek! But my views have changed quite a bit in recent months!). Not to get off the point here, sorry. Pageant women kick ass. The Miss USAs on Treasure Hunters rocked, and now it's the Miss Americas (or Beauty Queens if you prefer) on this show.
Dustin and Kandice have come in first two weeks in a row, and it would have been three if it weren't for the first Fast Forward. Not on that, they actually beat the people who took the second Fast Forward!
Damn, I was cheering when they ran to the mat this week. I know all it takes is one unlucky search challenge to blow it all to hell, but for now I'm enjoying their success. I'm putting this out there now... Dustin and Kandice, if either of you would like to be in the running for Miss Realivision 2007, please e-mail at the address at the bottom of this page. Realivision would love to do an interview with either one or both of you.

As for the Cho brothers, I'm not so sure. I love your loyalty, but enough is enough. When the entire Backpack/Sixpack decided to wait for each other at the start of the leg, I gave up on them entirely. There is no way the single moms or Mary and David are going to beat every one of the remaining teams, as some degree of physicality is required to win the Race.
If we could see into Mary's head, I'm sure we could see visions of the Backpack as the final three, hand-in-hand walking casually to the final mat, singing joyous songs of friendship and sharing the million dollars amongst themselves.
Though if this were to happen, the single mothers have shown less investment in this alliance than the other two teams so I'm sure just as they approached the mat, they'd break off and run for it first. And I'd cheer them all the damned way!
It's not going to happen though, because Mary and David are eliminated now, so we will get no more of their sweet naivety.

Oh, there is so much more to write about. Cow lips! Oooooh, the cowlips, and the cheering each other on about the cow lips (with teeth).
There was the Intersection, an interesting new twist on the game. As much as I love the Miss Americas and was happy as a fan that they teamed up with the Cho brothers, as a viewer I would have loved to have seen them and the Alabama single moms forced to work together.
But alas, I must wrap this up. It's hard to find 5 seconds in a row to write anything. I really need a working computer at home again... if anyone wants to be my sugar daddy.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 2 - Commentary

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!
It's only 39 days. 39 days for ONE MILLION DOLLARS! So why the hell keep someone you can't trust any more than you could trust Mark Foley in a high school boy's locker room over someone who just rubs you the wrong way?
I don't care if you snore, fart in my face, call me horrible names, and wake me up every night with a 1:00 am wedgie. If I can trust you, I'm going to keep you around.
So why, please, someone, tell me why they voted Flicka out over Jonathan?
Okay, so we're not talking about rocket scientists here. Sure, it seemed like a good idea on paper to kidnap Nathan and keep him from participating in a challenge, but it was a friggin' reward challenge. They're nice and all, but in the long run you can do without one or two of them. Thanks to Ozzy, Aitu is eating fine, and keeping the other tribe from getting food is smart, but you know what's even smarter? Screwing up their plans and forcing them to vote off someone else, creating cracks in alliances before the merge. So I still think they would have been better off taking Cristina. Not only would it have had the advantages already listed, come merge time if Cristina were to have made it, she could have been easily won over as another number on Aitu's side. What is the problem with Survivor contestants and being unable to think ahead?
Ozzy seems to be using it to his advantage. Never mind that he will be a huge threat in individual immunity, as well as a possible threat to go over to Raro thanks to being left out of the big alliance in Aitu, people are hungry now.
I do like that Raro got rid of JP when they did and worried more about later on down the road and less about winning challenges right now. Until they forgot all about that the next week. The women had it in the bag, and then? Two women in a row voted off. When it comes to sticking together as an alliance, I have to say, we kinda suck. Even the strongest women's alliance ever, the one in Survivor: Vanuatu, was scuttled by pettiness. Scout and Twila lost anyway, and it was a man, Chris, who came out on top and won against all odds.
The most pathetic thing I've ever seen was, if I remember the season correctly, in Survivor: Amazon when women and men were first split into seperate tribes, this one woman whose name I can't remember was all sick and wanting to go home. Until the producers mixed the tribes up and she sprung back to life at the introduction of men. It was a sad spectacle indeed when someone can't even go a week or two without the opposite sex.
Anyway, my point is people keep making the same mistakes on these shows. I really don't get how that's even possible, unless they've never watched an episode and were whisked away before doing any research.
That's the only way this ever makes any sense.