Treasure Hunters - Aired Aug. 21 - Full Recap
Nooooooooo! Not the finale! Not so soon! Just rip my heart out, NBC. And don't have Darth Chuck do your dirty work! Oh, he'd love to rip my heart out then rend me limb from limb. He's evil, I tell you.
First things first, I need to fast forward past the repeat of last week's episode. A two hour finale would have rocked, but it looks like it's going to be an hour. That's a lot they're going to have to fit in. Based on how it ended last week though we shouldn't have too much of the actual hunt left.
Back at the Key Industries building where we last left them, the Air Force contestabots were still scanning their surroundings trying to find the door that would take them to the treasure chamber. While searching, they were also working on their codex, trying to guess the five-letter word that would open it, but none of their computations were correct. We got to see them walk right past the metal cylinder that contained the door they needed to find, once again proving the point that when you're in one of these competitions, watch the cameras. If they point away from you, follow their line of sight.
How much of a hurry they needed to be in was still up in the air as we joined the Geniuses still in the hidden chamber, one hour and fifty-seven minutes after entering. Genius Francis asked Genius Charles what time it was, and he said 2:00am. It's when we get these elapsed times from the producers that we see how much of a lead people have at any given time, and so far the Geniuses were ahead of the other teams by two hours! It didn't seem like that much last week, but that's what editing will do to you.
They were surprised themselves that after all that time, nobody else had yet entered the chamber. The only question now would be how hungry would Darth Chuck get, and were we watching Genius Sam's last day of not being someone's lunch?
Francis stared at the map he had, trying to figure out clues from there but with no luck. He suggested to Charles to try "Dawn's Early Light", and from the dramatic music and the zoom in to the cryptex it seemed like they were about to succeed, but no, we were just being toyed with.
The Southie Boys made their first appearance of the episode, looking around and trying to find the entrance themselves between fist fights. One of the twins (sorry guys, it was dark and the camera was too far away) wanted to make sure they took their time and didn't walk past anything important. Good. It worked too, as one of them found the cylinder with the door and the spiral staircase and they made their way down it.
In the chamber, the Geniuses were still getting nowhere with the code. Charles said they tried every five-letter word connected to history that they could think of, and Francis said that in a parallel world their parallel selves had the money two hours ago. Yeah, but in that same parallel world Francis has a goatee instead of muttonchops, Sam is a world-class athlete, and Charles doesn't kick puppies and small children and works against madmen with plans for world domination.
Meanwhile, the Southies arrived in the outer chamber and the Geniuses could hear them moving around. Francis shushed the others, because they wouldn't want the Southies to think that this metal door in the underground cavern with the carved rocks was the right metal door in the underground cavern with the carved rocks.
Francis let the others know that another team was outside, and Charles got really snippy with him and told him to put his ear to the door and listen, "Einstein". Listen for what? If you're going to snap at someone, at least have a reason for it. Listening to another team outside would just take time away from Francis trying to figure out the code, Darth Einstein!
The Southies were looking for the way in, and one of them found the slot in the door but they didn't connect it to the token with the star they got last week.
Francis said to Sam that it felt like they were down there for days. Charles got snippy yet again and said, "Don't talk unless you're [couldn't make this out, but it may have been something about making a kitten-fur hat], please!"
The Air Force were still up in the main part of the building searching for the entrance when Manbot1 saw the cylinder and scanned the door in it. They got down to the outer chamber with the Southies, who were still stuck on the door and punching each other in the face. They saw the slot in the door, and Manbot2's pattern recognition algorithms noted the star in the slot and matched it to the star on the token.
As they were talking about putting the token in the slot, Genius Francis asked Darth Chuck what do they say, to which Chuck whispered, "Nothing! You keep your mouth SHUT... is what you do!" Francis responded to this by taking the cryptex and hitting Charles over the head with it several times. Okay, that part was just in my fantasies but I'm surprised they let Charles talk to them like that. At any point in the hunt, a team can choose to drop one player. This is a good time for the Geniuses to drop their evil third!
Manbot2 dropped the token into the slot, thus opening the door and causing Francis to voice an obscenity. It was beeped out, but his mouth wasn't blurred out as is normally the case these days so it didn't take a genius lip reader to know what he said. The two teams walked in, and neither Francis nor Charles looked pleased at this turn of events.
As we go to commercial, I must note that I haven't provided one fun link or product placement. To make up for it, here's one fun link (make sure your sound is on and one product placement.
Charles lamented to the camera that they had a two and a half hour lead, and now it means nothing. You know what else means nothing? This.
The Air Force got together and interfaced, saying it must be very complicated if the Geniuses don't have it yet. According to Womanbot, the Geniuses look like they've been beaten with a stick. That sends shivers down my spine, because I don't want to know how military-grade contestabots know what a human beaten with a stick looks like.
This is where the show gets really fun to recap, because it's going to be nothing but people trying to figure out this five-letter code. At least it's fun to watch Genius Sam falling asleep sitting up.
Two hours and 19 minutes after entering, John Southie was yawning and trying to figure out the code. Unfortunately "SHUTUP" is six letters. Not one five-letter word he could think of would work.
Five hours and three minutes elapsed for the Geniuses, and Sam had given up trying to sit so he was laying down sleeping.
It got a little confusing at one point as we got a close-up of Manbot1 but the Southies in the background were whispering how it could have something to do with history and the American Revolution. Oh, I still love you boys!
The Air Force were asking each other which of the carvings are there only one of, and Manbot2 mentioned a star and looked at it.
The elapsed time for the Southies and Air Force now is three hours and 27 minutes, and someone said they're thinking too complicated there, it has to be easier than they think. A camera zoomed to a page Charles had open in a book that said "The Star-Spangled Banner". Watch the cameras, damn it!
The Geniuses were in there for six hours and 29 minutes and Francis was laying on a patterned stone while Charles tried the cryptex and Sam was back to sitting and sleeping.
The Air Force were looking at their map and Womanbot was pointing out how "Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light" was written in the corner unnecessarily.
The Southies were wondering if it wasn't even a word but just a combination of five letters. They said they were only assuming it had to be a word, but the answer had to be somewhere right in front of them.
Genius Sam was back to laying down for his snooze when Francis sat up with an idea and asked Charles to hand him the cryptex. He tried the code that came to him... and opened it up! Sam stood up and said, "I'm awake! I'm awake!"
Inside the cryptex was an arrow with a pivot sticking down from it. Francis told us he had the letters "FSK" in his head, and he was thinking of a key, so what if it's Francis Scott Key? FSKEY!
Darth Chuck let us know the little metallic arrow that was in the cryptex had some of the same symbols that were in the stone tablets in the ground, so they put the pivot into a slot and gave it a spin. It stopped spinning and pointed to a star. They got up to look for the star on the wall, and Francis went over and gave it a hit. The star recessed into the stone, and dust came billowing out.
A door opened up in the wall and the Geniuses went inside to find a HUGE pile of gold coins. The treasure was theirs!
The other teams looked upset, but the Southies were able to put huge smiles on their faces. Team Air Force wasn't, but not because they didn't have the appropriate emotions programmed in them. It's that they knew that Charles was going to now have the resources he needs to build his secret lair and giant death ray to try and take over the world, and they failed to stop him. So the contestabots would now have to go back into storage and the authorities would have to break out the jamesbondabots.
The phone rang, and the Geniuses received Motorola message as lickable Laird congratulated them on finding the treasure.
Francis said his grandparents and parents would now be able to retire (quite possibly overthinking how much money he's going to get after taxes). Sam said he learned a lot about himself, and how he had to keep going for himself, his team, and his family. He did things in the hunt he never thought he would do and saw places he never even heard of. Charles said that Francis will be able to help his family and pay for med school, Sam will be able to open his clinic, and when he himself is overlord of the planet, he will allow them to live. Or he might pay for med school.
There was time for one last Motorola message for the Air Force and Southies Boys, where Laird got a little mean and told them they weren't fast enough and the treasure slipped through their fingers. The Southies talked about how they could still keep their heads high as they did well to get where they did. It was hard on John though, to have come so close only to lose. He would have rather gone out in tenth place, but hopefully he'll be able to look back on it now and see what an amazing adventure he got to participate in and what he would have missed out on had they left early.
Throughout the hunt there were two teams for me, the Miss USAs and the Southies. Of those two teams, it was the Southies I got to know first and I'm proud of how well they did. Thank you, guys. You may have tied for second, but you're still winners to me.
Enough with the schmaltz, back to the snark! Darth Chuck was talking about how his team became brothers through this experience. They would take bullets for each other, which is something he's counting on once the jamesbondabots track down his soon to be built secret lair and giant death ray.
Yeah, that's the right note to end the competition on.
***
I'm not going to go into a lot of details on the live part of the finale. It was good to see Laird get to be more expressive, and I loved that I got to see the Miss USAs and the Southies one last time. They've been good to me and Realivision, and I'm so glad I was able to give them my support through this adventure.
The time allotted to the live part was nowhere near enough, but at least we got the fun of watching Cowboy Laird try to round up the Geniuses as they were pressed for time and couldn't afford to spend too much of it getting hugs and congratulations from all the other contestants.
It's been a blast having fun with the teams, and I'd like to use Team Air Force's real names just once. Matt Z. was Manbot1, Brooke was Womanbot and her husband Matt R. was Manbot2. If there was any need for proof that they're not really robots, the very pregnant Brooke showed their humanity. Congratulations, Brooke and Matt. May you have a healthy, shiny babybot.
There just wasn't enough time for this reunion. Only a few people got to answer questions, and those questions weren't given enough time to be answered. There was also a lot of time wasted on a mini-hunt between ten $10,000 winners from the online competition. I'm sorry, but I just spent ten weeks watching ten teams put it all on the line to win. I really don't care about these ten people I know nothing about running around Washington. That's time that could be spent getting updates on Grad Student Jessica's and Keith Brown's injuries. That's time that could have been used to ask the Browns and Hanlons if relations between the two families are still strained.
Anyway, as for the grand prize - the treasure was worth $3 million. That's $1 million for each team member. Not a bad chunk of change.
I'm not sure if the ratings warrant it, but I'd love to see a second season. And if there is one, they need to devote a good solid hour to the reunion if they decide to do that again.
Thank you to all the teams for an entertaining show.
Thank you John Southie, Miss Realivision 2006 Melissa Witek, Grad Student Jessica and Tonny Brown for the interviews. Melissa in particular I also want to thank for all the inside information.
It's been quite a season, and people who missed out on it because it wasn't enough like a certain other show, well, they missed out on a rolicking good time.
First things first, I need to fast forward past the repeat of last week's episode. A two hour finale would have rocked, but it looks like it's going to be an hour. That's a lot they're going to have to fit in. Based on how it ended last week though we shouldn't have too much of the actual hunt left.
Back at the Key Industries building where we last left them, the Air Force contestabots were still scanning their surroundings trying to find the door that would take them to the treasure chamber. While searching, they were also working on their codex, trying to guess the five-letter word that would open it, but none of their computations were correct. We got to see them walk right past the metal cylinder that contained the door they needed to find, once again proving the point that when you're in one of these competitions, watch the cameras. If they point away from you, follow their line of sight.
How much of a hurry they needed to be in was still up in the air as we joined the Geniuses still in the hidden chamber, one hour and fifty-seven minutes after entering. Genius Francis asked Genius Charles what time it was, and he said 2:00am. It's when we get these elapsed times from the producers that we see how much of a lead people have at any given time, and so far the Geniuses were ahead of the other teams by two hours! It didn't seem like that much last week, but that's what editing will do to you.
They were surprised themselves that after all that time, nobody else had yet entered the chamber. The only question now would be how hungry would Darth Chuck get, and were we watching Genius Sam's last day of not being someone's lunch?
Francis stared at the map he had, trying to figure out clues from there but with no luck. He suggested to Charles to try "Dawn's Early Light", and from the dramatic music and the zoom in to the cryptex it seemed like they were about to succeed, but no, we were just being toyed with.
The Southie Boys made their first appearance of the episode, looking around and trying to find the entrance themselves between fist fights. One of the twins (sorry guys, it was dark and the camera was too far away) wanted to make sure they took their time and didn't walk past anything important. Good. It worked too, as one of them found the cylinder with the door and the spiral staircase and they made their way down it.
In the chamber, the Geniuses were still getting nowhere with the code. Charles said they tried every five-letter word connected to history that they could think of, and Francis said that in a parallel world their parallel selves had the money two hours ago. Yeah, but in that same parallel world Francis has a goatee instead of muttonchops, Sam is a world-class athlete, and Charles doesn't kick puppies and small children and works against madmen with plans for world domination.
Meanwhile, the Southies arrived in the outer chamber and the Geniuses could hear them moving around. Francis shushed the others, because they wouldn't want the Southies to think that this metal door in the underground cavern with the carved rocks was the right metal door in the underground cavern with the carved rocks.
Francis let the others know that another team was outside, and Charles got really snippy with him and told him to put his ear to the door and listen, "Einstein". Listen for what? If you're going to snap at someone, at least have a reason for it. Listening to another team outside would just take time away from Francis trying to figure out the code, Darth Einstein!
The Southies were looking for the way in, and one of them found the slot in the door but they didn't connect it to the token with the star they got last week.
Francis said to Sam that it felt like they were down there for days. Charles got snippy yet again and said, "Don't talk unless you're [couldn't make this out, but it may have been something about making a kitten-fur hat], please!"
The Air Force were still up in the main part of the building searching for the entrance when Manbot1 saw the cylinder and scanned the door in it. They got down to the outer chamber with the Southies, who were still stuck on the door and punching each other in the face. They saw the slot in the door, and Manbot2's pattern recognition algorithms noted the star in the slot and matched it to the star on the token.
As they were talking about putting the token in the slot, Genius Francis asked Darth Chuck what do they say, to which Chuck whispered, "Nothing! You keep your mouth SHUT... is what you do!" Francis responded to this by taking the cryptex and hitting Charles over the head with it several times. Okay, that part was just in my fantasies but I'm surprised they let Charles talk to them like that. At any point in the hunt, a team can choose to drop one player. This is a good time for the Geniuses to drop their evil third!
Manbot2 dropped the token into the slot, thus opening the door and causing Francis to voice an obscenity. It was beeped out, but his mouth wasn't blurred out as is normally the case these days so it didn't take a genius lip reader to know what he said. The two teams walked in, and neither Francis nor Charles looked pleased at this turn of events.
As we go to commercial, I must note that I haven't provided one fun link or product placement. To make up for it, here's one fun link (make sure your sound is on and one product placement.
Charles lamented to the camera that they had a two and a half hour lead, and now it means nothing. You know what else means nothing? This.
The Air Force got together and interfaced, saying it must be very complicated if the Geniuses don't have it yet. According to Womanbot, the Geniuses look like they've been beaten with a stick. That sends shivers down my spine, because I don't want to know how military-grade contestabots know what a human beaten with a stick looks like.
This is where the show gets really fun to recap, because it's going to be nothing but people trying to figure out this five-letter code. At least it's fun to watch Genius Sam falling asleep sitting up.
Two hours and 19 minutes after entering, John Southie was yawning and trying to figure out the code. Unfortunately "SHUTUP" is six letters. Not one five-letter word he could think of would work.
Five hours and three minutes elapsed for the Geniuses, and Sam had given up trying to sit so he was laying down sleeping.
It got a little confusing at one point as we got a close-up of Manbot1 but the Southies in the background were whispering how it could have something to do with history and the American Revolution. Oh, I still love you boys!
The Air Force were asking each other which of the carvings are there only one of, and Manbot2 mentioned a star and looked at it.
The elapsed time for the Southies and Air Force now is three hours and 27 minutes, and someone said they're thinking too complicated there, it has to be easier than they think. A camera zoomed to a page Charles had open in a book that said "The Star-Spangled Banner". Watch the cameras, damn it!
The Geniuses were in there for six hours and 29 minutes and Francis was laying on a patterned stone while Charles tried the cryptex and Sam was back to sitting and sleeping.
The Air Force were looking at their map and Womanbot was pointing out how "Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light" was written in the corner unnecessarily.
The Southies were wondering if it wasn't even a word but just a combination of five letters. They said they were only assuming it had to be a word, but the answer had to be somewhere right in front of them.
Genius Sam was back to laying down for his snooze when Francis sat up with an idea and asked Charles to hand him the cryptex. He tried the code that came to him... and opened it up! Sam stood up and said, "I'm awake! I'm awake!"
Inside the cryptex was an arrow with a pivot sticking down from it. Francis told us he had the letters "FSK" in his head, and he was thinking of a key, so what if it's Francis Scott Key? FSKEY!
Darth Chuck let us know the little metallic arrow that was in the cryptex had some of the same symbols that were in the stone tablets in the ground, so they put the pivot into a slot and gave it a spin. It stopped spinning and pointed to a star. They got up to look for the star on the wall, and Francis went over and gave it a hit. The star recessed into the stone, and dust came billowing out.
A door opened up in the wall and the Geniuses went inside to find a HUGE pile of gold coins. The treasure was theirs!
The other teams looked upset, but the Southies were able to put huge smiles on their faces. Team Air Force wasn't, but not because they didn't have the appropriate emotions programmed in them. It's that they knew that Charles was going to now have the resources he needs to build his secret lair and giant death ray to try and take over the world, and they failed to stop him. So the contestabots would now have to go back into storage and the authorities would have to break out the jamesbondabots.
The phone rang, and the Geniuses received Motorola message as lickable Laird congratulated them on finding the treasure.
Francis said his grandparents and parents would now be able to retire (quite possibly overthinking how much money he's going to get after taxes). Sam said he learned a lot about himself, and how he had to keep going for himself, his team, and his family. He did things in the hunt he never thought he would do and saw places he never even heard of. Charles said that Francis will be able to help his family and pay for med school, Sam will be able to open his clinic, and when he himself is overlord of the planet, he will allow them to live. Or he might pay for med school.
There was time for one last Motorola message for the Air Force and Southies Boys, where Laird got a little mean and told them they weren't fast enough and the treasure slipped through their fingers. The Southies talked about how they could still keep their heads high as they did well to get where they did. It was hard on John though, to have come so close only to lose. He would have rather gone out in tenth place, but hopefully he'll be able to look back on it now and see what an amazing adventure he got to participate in and what he would have missed out on had they left early.
Throughout the hunt there were two teams for me, the Miss USAs and the Southies. Of those two teams, it was the Southies I got to know first and I'm proud of how well they did. Thank you, guys. You may have tied for second, but you're still winners to me.
Enough with the schmaltz, back to the snark! Darth Chuck was talking about how his team became brothers through this experience. They would take bullets for each other, which is something he's counting on once the jamesbondabots track down his soon to be built secret lair and giant death ray.
Yeah, that's the right note to end the competition on.
***
I'm not going to go into a lot of details on the live part of the finale. It was good to see Laird get to be more expressive, and I loved that I got to see the Miss USAs and the Southies one last time. They've been good to me and Realivision, and I'm so glad I was able to give them my support through this adventure.
The time allotted to the live part was nowhere near enough, but at least we got the fun of watching Cowboy Laird try to round up the Geniuses as they were pressed for time and couldn't afford to spend too much of it getting hugs and congratulations from all the other contestants.
It's been a blast having fun with the teams, and I'd like to use Team Air Force's real names just once. Matt Z. was Manbot1, Brooke was Womanbot and her husband Matt R. was Manbot2. If there was any need for proof that they're not really robots, the very pregnant Brooke showed their humanity. Congratulations, Brooke and Matt. May you have a healthy, shiny babybot.
There just wasn't enough time for this reunion. Only a few people got to answer questions, and those questions weren't given enough time to be answered. There was also a lot of time wasted on a mini-hunt between ten $10,000 winners from the online competition. I'm sorry, but I just spent ten weeks watching ten teams put it all on the line to win. I really don't care about these ten people I know nothing about running around Washington. That's time that could be spent getting updates on Grad Student Jessica's and Keith Brown's injuries. That's time that could have been used to ask the Browns and Hanlons if relations between the two families are still strained.
Anyway, as for the grand prize - the treasure was worth $3 million. That's $1 million for each team member. Not a bad chunk of change.
I'm not sure if the ratings warrant it, but I'd love to see a second season. And if there is one, they need to devote a good solid hour to the reunion if they decide to do that again.
Thank you to all the teams for an entertaining show.
Thank you John Southie, Miss Realivision 2006 Melissa Witek, Grad Student Jessica and Tonny Brown for the interviews. Melissa in particular I also want to thank for all the inside information.
It's been quite a season, and people who missed out on it because it wasn't enough like a certain other show, well, they missed out on a rolicking good time.