Big Brother: All-Stars - Air Date July 11

After a Sunday with no Big Brother, we finally got to the second episode where we could do away with all the introductory fluff and get right to the nitty-gritty.
Flashback to the nomination ceremony, we're left with a mighty unhappy pair. Danielle had never even been nominated in her season, and Alison had never been evicted. No matter what else happens, we've been witness to one first and will see another.
In the Diary Room, Alison is a wee bit peeved, and all her anger is directed at Janelle even though it was running with Danielle's idea that got her on the block. It doesn't matter though as it's giving us one of our first huge rivalries of the season of two people who hadn't played together before. Forget all the Dr. Will vs. Kaysar nonsense, this one is going to get vicious if Alison can stay around long enough. She really hates Janelle.
Danielle in her Diary Room session seemed more shocked than anything else by ending up in a position she's never experienced before, and in the first week at that.
Janelle tells us that it's because they tried to convince Jase to disagree with her so that they'd be the nominees themselves and she could be evicted that Danielle and Alison are now in danger of going home.
I said it before, it was a great plan but Danielle screwed it up. If she went to Jase with the idea and didn't play both sides, even if Jase wanted nothing to do with it she could have at least had a better chance of convincing him not to say anything to Janelle.
Then again, maybe not. This gave Jase the chance to put up two strong players, and it gets him in good with the BB6ers should the need arise.
It turns out Danielle and Alison like each other and aren't happy being up together, but of course if one of them has to go, they would each prefer it to be the other. Danielle's plan is to be quiet and let Alison talk herself into a hole. Another decent plan if Danielle were capable of being quiet. I like her, but she started the season with one huge, collossal blunder. Maybe it was that fling in the sleazy motel she had with Cowboy before going into the house. It sapped all her smarts.
That didn't happen, but they're giving me nothing here! How am I supposed to crack jokes if all they do is strategize?
So Alison talks Danielle into going to confront the co-Heads of Household together to see what they say and find out if the nomination choices were mutual. What is it with these people that went in giving us such high hopes for a smart season? Don't talk to them when they're in the same room! At least not if you want to find out who each really wanted out! Jase is going to do the smart thing and cover his ass if Janelle can hear! And you can't bribe him with a new mandana if other people are around. That just isn't done, old chap.
After an awkward silence when they first enter the HoH room, Jase and Janelle - Jaselle while they share the HoH title - tell them that the original plan was to get rid of Chicken George (another case of brilliant thinking, going after the least threatening cast member the first week), but it was the huge move that Daniellison were making that put them up on the chopping block.
They said their piece and Alison left the room, leaving Danielle behind with Jaselle for whatever reason. Why oh why leave her in the room with them alone? Of course Danielle is going to spin things in her own favour! That's like leaving Dr. Will alone with a mirror and expecting him not to have carnal relations with it! Despite coming up with the original idea, Danielle make the whole scheme out to be Alison's.
Not that Jaselle were fooled by any means. As soon as Danielle left, Jase pointed out how they came in together but as soon as Alison left, Danielle put it all on her. Who is this observant, subdued man and what did he do with the Jase of BB5?
In the Diary Room Danielle tells us that she doesn't want to cross Alison and that she loves her to death, it's strictly business and just a game. We here at Realivision buy that. Sure, there's half a million dollars at stake, but when it comes down to it, it is just a game. If you don't know by now going in what it's all about, you don't belong in the Big Brother house. That's okay though, because I'm looking for people to play Trump: The Game with, if you've got the cojones! On the other hand, if even that's too cutthoat for you, there's always Candyland.
Despite their nerves at being nominated, both women thankfully have fully intact egos as both are convinced everyone will be coming after herself.
Alison made her way up to the HoH room, fully aware that Danielle wasn't exactly just hanging out after she left earlier. Jase doesn't lie here, a rarity so far in the season for anyone, and tells Alison that Danielle was dumping everything on her. Alison responded with a wee fib saying she's not going to lie this year, following with tasty mix of truth and whoppers. Janelle then lied by saying she doesn't have an alliance with the other BB6ers. Jason then lied and said he never tied Cowboy up and spanked him after BB5 was over.
Speaking of homoerotic images containing allegedly straight men, we then take a break from the strategy and find Dr. Will on a treadmill being stared at kind of lovingly by Howie.
Yes, Howie is obsessed with the good doctor. In Will's words they have one thing in common, "we're both attracted to me." There's a clip of them sitting talking, of Howie walking up to Will in bed and putting his arms around him. In the Diary Room Howie admits that if Dr. Will were a woman, he'd kinda be attracted to him. Unspoken is the fact that Will is a man, so Howie is very attracted to him.
This all works in Will's favour, and it allows him to work Howie and allows him to affect what he calls the "SeaSick" Alliance, the Season Sixers. How much that name catches on depends on whether or not the BB6ers can maintain their popularity without the Friendship to contrast against, but we're going to use it here at Realivision because we like the snarky sound of it. The SeaSick Alliance. I know I'm risking alienating readers, but snark is snark.
Back to the current main players, Alison asks Jaselle if she can go listen to a CD. With permission, she goes up to the HoH room then procedes to watch the spy cameras. Beautiful!
Janelle has a lot of fans. A LOT of fans. So when Alison watches her over the spycams go in to the fridge and says to herself, "Shut the door, you don't need any more," I find myself as amused by the thought of the screams of outrage as I am by the line itself. It doesn't matter what I think of either of these women, this is what I love to see in Big Brother! I even found it funny when Alison went back down in the kitchen and Janelle went outside, Alison called her - quietly to herself - "Busto."
Please don't send me hatemail over this just because it all amuses me. Look at the bright side. If Alison stays in the house it'll actually be good for Janelle as it will give her a new enemy to go up against, and that's where Janelle shines.
After the commercials, it's time to take another breather from the game and humiliate George. First Big Brother calls him in to the Diary Room, and not yet used to where everything is in the house he heads upstairs to the HoH room while Jase and James laugh at him because, you know, nobody else has ever gotten turned around and lost while still learning the layout of a new big house. Be nice to him, people. It wasn't George who screwed Brittany over in season 1, it was George's friends and family.
Why didn't you come back, Brittany? I like George, but you were my choice for a representative of your season!
Then we come to three of the SeaSick Alliance talking about how they are being targeted by the rest of the house. James tells them that what they need to do is whenever they see a group talking, they need to muscle themselves in and disrupt any plotting. Another good idea, but one that also needs to be acted on carefully or they'll just end up annoying everyone else and sealing their own fates.
What's this? Nakomis? Oh yeah, she's in the house! For the first time this episode, we see our favourite pierced and tattooed House Guest talking to Danielle about going up against the SeaSicks, and then a shot of Mike "Boogie", another face we see for the first time, talking to Nakomis on the same subject. Then it's Dr. Will talking to Danielle. SeaSick are in trouble the first time they don't win an HoH.
Big Brother is doing well reminding us there are other people in the house all of a sudden, because Marcellas finally appears as he goes into the HoH room to talk with Janelle and the last missing face, Erika. Both Marcellas and Erika have baggage left over from their seasons as they have reasons for wanting to see Danielle and Alison leave respectively.
Two things I want to touch on here...
One, these House Guests who are showing up somewhere around the halfway mark of the show. When you're only in the second episode, being relatively invisible to the audience is a good thing. If you're getting a lot of screen time right now it can only mean one of three things - You're in power, and getting it this early puts a target on your back. You're nominated, and nobody wants to be in that position. Or you're being portrayed for laughs, and if so then hope it's for all the right reasons.
Two, the first article on Big Brother here at Realivision talked about the potential House Guests, and I wrote about how Marcellas is a smart student of the game if only he can reign in his emotions. The minute he bumped into Danielle it seemed like his emotions took over him. How amazing would it be if he could take that history with her and use it to his advantage, forming an alliance that nobody would suspect beyond a "What if..."?
There is good news here though. Despite his feelings for her, he weighs the pros and cons of keeping her around. Sure, she's smart. But he also mentions that she's incapable of winning competitions. Because Alison is a more capable competitor, things aren't looking good for her right now.
When it comes down to it, Danielle and Alison are both good choices for the first eviction. They are strong in the game of Big Brother, but neither of them are really trustworthy enough for anyone to want to really ally themselves with. It'll be a nice change from the usual first eviction.
Time to take another breath from all this wheeling and dealing and have another laugh at George's expense. His crime this time? Being a chubby middle-aged man who snores.
Then we get to see Ivette get screwed over. Remember how she built the "ghetto slide" last season? The slip'n slide made out of garbage bags? Well, the house guests decide to make one this year but does she get any credit? Noooo. So it's up to us to make things right and mention it here.
I'll give them this, they made one incredibly slippery slide. On one attempt Kaysar (oh yeah, forget about Erika being the last missing face, this is the first time this episode we see him) slid past the slide and hit a wall. Don't worry, his face wasn't damaged. Then came the nightmare scenario... "Who's going to ride on top of Howie?" We know that when he asked that he was hoping for Janelle, Erika, or Dr. Will, but the brave volunteer ends up being Chicken George. He gets on top of Howie, face-to-face, and four of the other guys grab a side each to swing the two of them then throw them along. Before the throw though, Marcellas walks outside, sees these shenannigans, and gets a look of confused disgust on his face. "The very idea of George mounting Howie almost made me straight!"
The two-man slide didn't go too well, but everyone had a good time. Except Marcellas who may still be bleaching his eyeballs.
Jase calls everyone into the livingroom. It's the Golden Power of Veto! Everything is the same so far, and only six people will be able to compete. However, there's a twist. The HoH and the two nominees will not be selecting who else will be playing. Instead, a random spin of a wheel will choose who else gets to participate in the competition. Because we have two HoHes this week (and right here is an obvious clue that it won't always be two of them), only two names would be spun for. The first spin lands on Kaysar, the second on Chicken George.
The six players are asked to change into their bathing suits because they will be doing some diving. It's not until they get out into the back yard that they find out it's Dumpster Diving time! That's right, garbage from every season past is spread out all over the lawn. It was as disgusting as I picture Jase's bedroom at home to be. Yeah, that's right. I went there. It wasn't funny, but I went there.
Hidden in this mess were red Veto symbols. The first player to fill up all six holes in their board with Veto symbols would win the competition.
But first... Before they could start, there was one final piece of business. There were barrels of disgusting slop from seasons past like PB&J sandwiches, chum, and other assorted delights to be poured over the contestants because Big Brother can. They don't need no reason to do stuff like this! It did make a lot of people extremely jealous though as some of the glop got in Kaysar's pants.
The game starts and the players search frantically for the symbols. Danielle took an early lead, but then stalled unable to find more. George was a threat to nobody but himself and the lungs of everyone when he stirred up a lot of dust. In the end Janelle came out on top, becoming the first solo winner of a competition of the season. She then broke out of the house, tracked down Jennifer from season 6 and shouted "Bye bye bitches!" at her. Oh, Janelle. Why? It's bad enough that Howie's living in the past, must you do so too?
There's some more strategy talk, yay. If I record every conversation and who wants to do what, this will go on for pages and I have to work in the morning, so let's just get to the Veto ceremony. But Janelle won, so is there even any point in going to that? She gives the nominees a chance to make their case, but it doesn't matter. There's no way she's going to use the veto and sure enough she doesn't. The nominations stand. Now bring on Thursday and the live eviction!