Friday, July 07, 2006

Big Brother: All-Stars - Air Date July 6

Summer is officially here, Big Brother is on the air again. After all the anticipation and hype of the All-Star cast I'm left feeling... angry, bitter, surprised and confused, actually, with some happy thrown in too. Of the twenty choices, the cast we ended up with isn't perfect, though there are people it's good to see in and a decent mix of personalities. One thing is clear, though. It's all about who was the last in the house, not who was the best.
But first... Julie Chen greets us. All her joints freshly oiled, her motors tuned up, and her finish polished up and nicely shined. I didn't coin the name "Chenbot", but dang, it's fun to play with. She wastes no time and gets right to it, introducing each of the candidates. We know who they are, so there's no point in listing them all again. However, a couple of observations. First, Mike "Boogie" is annoying already without even speaking a word with his arms raised to announce his glorious return to television. That was the first impression, anyway, but I strongly suspect his deodourant just quit on him and he was just airing out his pits. Second, Ivette who looked delightfully sassy when she came out, and "sassy" isn't a word I use a lot unless I'm talking about Larry King.
And there they all are, all packed and ready to go in. Some looking nervous, others just happy to be there. The crushed looks will come soon enough, but looking at this group there are some who obviously aren't going to get in. Sorry Cowboy. Now I have to work for my cheap laughs instead of going for the easy target. Where are the Fogals when I need them?
So a little yakkity-yak about how the contestants are all familiar with each other but in the end, there can be only one. "Expect the unexpected" and "do not assume" make their way back in as mottos for the show.
After that, Ms. Chen (we're not on a first name basis yet) has her first announcement to make, and it came as a shock to nobody. This has been out as a rumour for ages now, but apparently it's because the voting was "so close" that we will have 14 House Guests instead of 12. Some of them actually looked surprised, but others not so much. It will be the top four male and top four female vote getters going back in, plus the six the producers place in the house. The best thing about the reveal process is that for the first time, Ms. Chen gets to pull all the keys out of the container. She would then have to explain to those not getting in why she's nominated them for eviction. No, but it would be cool to watch her have to explain to them why they were rejected. Especially Cowboy who will miss out on another summer of being able to take baths with Jase. If he doesn't make it! No spoilers here!
First up, the top four women...
Janelle - Of course. Did this surprise anyone?
Erika - Now this did surprise people. Really? I mean, I really liked her on her season, but one of the top four women for votes? This gets my vote for shock of the night.
Nakomis - Yes! Sure, she gave us an interview, but I wanted her in before that even happened. Good choice, people!
Diane - Another pick I'm wholeheartedly behind.
This group got to go into the house first and that's always a good position to be in because you get first choice of bed. We also got our first peak into the Diary Room when Janelle said that she was the first one into the house and she wasn't really surprised that America voted her back in.
Now if you watch Survivor, you'll be familiar with Stephenie. In her first season, this plucky little underdog survived the decimation of her entire tribe to be the only one of them to make it to the merge and became one of the most popular contestants ever. However, things changed when she came back the next season and suddenly wasn't one of the underdogs. Instead, she was one of the people who pretty much ran the game that time around and her popularity took a dramatic drop for that. All her flaws stood out and now more people were not liking her.
I bring that up as a warning for Janelle, and for Kaysar too. If he makes it back in. Oh come on, of course he's in.
The women decide on a bedroom that's "perfect", until they find one that they like better. A room with only one huge bed that they all will share. It was then that disgruntled men across the continent perked up, not realizing that the only lesbian wasn't voted back in so is looking to be in a pretty precarious spot right now.
Some more Diary Room moments - Nakomis talked about being in with the girly-girls and how they'll hate her, even though she already knows that she and Diane can get on quite well. As for Diane, she gave us our first kick at another contestant when she said that Erika didn't deserve to be there, that she didn't do anything on her season. Yes! This is what we want to see!
One awkward edit later, we're back outside and ready to learn the identities of the top four men...
Howie - More on this after the other three.
Kaysar - D'uh. Who would he have to kill and eat to not get voted back in?
James - He was one of my choices to go back in, but this makes all three season 6 men and four out of the five possible season 6 choices. Ivette still stirs up too much residual hatred to have received the votes needed, unfortunately. I still love a spicy Latina, Ivette!
Jase - Another good choice.
However, back to what I said earlier about how it's not about who was the best on Big Brother but who was there last. Howie can be funny, but he's very, so very repetitive and no rocket surgeon or brain scientist. Heck, this is the man who may have well cost his alliance the whole game last season. How did he get more votes than Marcellas or Dr. Will? More than Cowboy, however, that I can see. Both Marcellas and Will looked stunned that they didn't get in on votes, but maybe if they put less effort into campaigning and more effort into being on the last season before this one it would have gone better. You'll never go wrong overestimating the short attention spans of... Oh, Star Jones is leaving The View! Will it become watchable now?
This group of four goes into the house, and immediately Jase comments that this looks like Big Brother 6. He wasn't the only one who noticed the size of the group representing that season which is where strategic voting would have come in. Anyone who wants Janelle or Kaysar to win should have campaigned hard to keep Howie and James out, because now there is a huge target on all their backs, especially Janelle and Kaysar who will be seen as the leaders, and this comes up throughout the episode.
If I seem to be picking on Howie a lot here, it's now that he really lost me. "This is an All-Star cast, you know what I mean, there were some All-Star boobies in the house." All while wearing his cap sideways, a look that never suits a 45-year-old man. For one season it was entertaining. I don't know if I can handle three more months of "boobies!"
And there are more people to go back in the house! Ms. Chen (can I call you Julie?) asks if anyone is surpised that they didn't get the votes to go in. Marcellas was, saying he's "America's black, gay sweetheart" which he is, and Canada's too, Marc. Cowboy then started rambling about how much he loves his wife and son, screamed "Four Horsemen forever," then shouted to Jase in the house, "Daddy! Daddy, can you hear me?" I have to get these in when I can.
When Julie asked if there were any surprises, there was a huge affirmative from the group. No names, but we know they were thinking about James. I kid. Erika was a surprise to everyone, though they didn't name names. But time is running out and there are only 45 minutes left in the broadcast! Who else gets in?
Dr. Will - It wouldn't be an All-Stars without him. I really would have thought he would do better in the votes.
Danielle - Two "villains" in a row. This is why the producers are putting some of the guests in.
Marcellas - Damned right! He is an All-Star! He gives us one reason why by having the best reaction to going in of the show, including the huge hug to the Chenbot.
Alison - Back to the villainous theme of these last contestants. Because I couldn't stand her back on her season, I'm glad to see her get back in. Ironic, no?
Mike "Boogie" - Urgh. We get it, you want the bad guys in, but enough already. That makes for seven men. What, George not good enough because he was in The Forgotten Season? Bunky a problem because the producers don't want two gay men in the house? This bothered me, and not just because he looked way too cocky for someone who just squeaked in. But the theme that was going on here gave me hope. I wasn't kidding when I said I've become an Ivette fan since the end of season 6. And the last contestant is...
"Chicken" George - Wow! Who saw that coming? Especially after they just played us and panned to the faces of each of the remaining women. Hey, I'm glad to see him get in as season 1 needs to be represented and that's likely why he went in, but 8 men and 6 women came as a surprise. Especially to George who had the most amazingly shocked look I've seen in a long time.
The biggest disappointments for me were Ivette not getting in, and Erika getting in instead of Lisa. I've said before that they are pretty much the same person, but Lisa is a past winner which automatically makes her an All-Star.
But that disappointment doesn't come near what we saw on the faces of those who didn't make it in, some of whom looked just crushed. When I first heard of this format to decide who the players were going to be I didn't care for the idea, and these faces made the actuality of the situation that much worse. If they want they can come stay with me for the summer and we'll have our own version of the game. Even Cowboy, though he'll be the first one voted out.
Most interesting interaction once everyone was in the house? Marcellas and Danielle hugging and congratulating each other, then going to the Diary Room to hear how they really feel. It also turns out that's not the only left-over resentment, as we found out from Erika and Alison.
I feel bad for George. I like him, but he's not really fitting in with this younger, hungrier, more self-absorbed group of players. So expect to see him win as he will be the non-threat that could get very far in the game.
Mike "Boogie"? Enough of the sweatbands. They look lame.
James, dude, good job on cutting back on the eyebrow tweezing.
Will vs. Kaysar. How long can this last? But it's nice to see the gloves come off the first night instead of having to go through the usual feeling out phase.
Strange moment of the night was when the Wild Hanlons made their way through the house looking for clues, confusing the hell out of everyone.
That's twice now I've had to pick on teams from Treasure Hunters. I was so mistaken when I said there was no reason to vote in Cowboy, damn it. Boogie though seems to be setting himself up nicely as my go-to guy, and I know Howie won't let me down when he screws something up soon enough.
Ah! Head of Household competition! This means some action!
It also means our first twist, when Julie announces there will be two Heads of Household. They will share the HoH bedroom, and they will both have to nominate two people for eviction. If they don't agree on both nominees, they will lose their HoH priviledges and will both become the nominees. Most interesting.
The competition was this - the players were separated into two teams. One team would have to stand on pedestals while the other would take turns with a huge fake meteor to knock them off. After there is one left, the teams would switch places and the others would then do the same thing, and the two left standing after both rounds would be the Heads of Household.
First to go was Nakomis, who knocked Howie out. Danielle went after Marcellas but missed. There could be fireworks brewing between these two. Kaysar knocked off Boogie, who didn't want the first HoH anyway so didn't put up any fight. Janelle hit Erika who went a-falling. Nakomis, who turns out to be pretty damned good at this, knocked James off. Diane got Will who went all Tarzan, swing from the meteor. Danielle threw the meteor and would have missed, but Jase gave it a push into Marcellas' back and thus became the first of the two Heads. It was a pretty smart move, actually, providing he actually wanted to be co-HoH the first week.
Switching places, Howie got his revenge by knocking Nakomis out. Will got Kaysar with an assist from Alison. James knocked out Diane. Jase meant to get Janelle but missed, taking out Alison. Erika got George, who had a very nasty looking fall where his back scraped down along the pedestal. Howie hit Danielle in the face, making Janelle the second HoH. Jase and Janelle. This could get interesting.
A lot of stuff was being fit into this hour, as right after commercial we got to see the HoH room which was an HoH room. The only thing missing was a shrine to Cappy. Ivette, I wanted you in the game but those shrines last year...
In the room we got to see pictures of Jase with his fiancee and her daughter, his soon to be step-daughter and they are really nice pictures. He's seeming a lot more subdued so far, and I've got a feeling it's as much those two as it is the lack of his Four Horsement alliance pals. Especially Cowboy. Damn it, who's going to wash Jase's back now?
It was fun watching the reactions of people from previous seasons who were shocked by all the stuff in the HoH room now compared to the hovels they had during their years.
Right away we get to nomination talk. Dang, this is two episodes in one. Neither HoH could seem to think of who to put up for eviction.
Honest truth now. It was during this conversation that an idea struck me that I was just chomping at the bit to bring here. "What Jase should do now is blah blah blah." Damn it, Danielle had the same idea. Why not deliberately disagree? Because of their numbers, most of them want to start getting rid of BB6ers. If Jase doesn't agree with Janelle, they would then become the nominees and the others could vote out Janelle. A little risky, yes, but it would be the first great move of the season. The problem is that Danielle didn't stick to just that plan and didn't just take it to Alison to take it to Jase, but she went to James with it too to take it to Janelle.
Another problem is that Danielle came up with the plan and Alison brought it to Jase. Not the two most trustworthy people in the house. However, when Jase went to see Janelle she was with Kaysar and James in the HoH room, something that looked pretty darned alliance-like. And they were making a shrine to Cappy! No, but it still didn't look good. Jase ingratiated himself with the BB6ers which isn't a bad thing if done smartly in case they do get some power later on, and it helps set their sights on Danielle. He just has to be careful that the others don't think he's part of that BB6 alliance now. Playing both sides can work, but you have to do it smartly.
Finally it's nomination time. I'm looking forward to when these events are all a little more spread out because this is a lot to write and I'm lazy. So You Think You Can Dance is a two hour show, but it's a lot easier to cover because all that's really required is giving opinions on the dances. Oh, and learning from them so I can do better in my day job as the world's only sideshow freak pole dancer. Ha. The rubes think they're going to see a beautiful stripper, but when I pull that potato sack off my hideous head... Enough of that, what about the nominations?
I'm not sure how this will work, but it seems to me that if they can't agree then there would be no reason for a nomination ceremony. Maybe there is. We'll see.
First safe is Marcellas, who said "I'm a very happy black man right now." I only mention that because when it got to George, he said, "I'm a very happy white man right now." It was actually kind of cute and there didn't seem to be anything negative behind it.
Anyway, Alison and Danielle got nominated. Like I said, she took it too far. The plan was great but Jase had to have been made to feel safe for it to work. But when she came up with it, she wasn't so much interested in breaking up the BB6ers as she was in stirring the pot and that was so short-sighted.
And so the first episode came to an end. As much as there was some disappointment this still is looking like a very promising season, especially once it really gets going.
My prediction for eviction is Danielle. What do you think? Can she still pull her butt of the fire, or is Alison in a better position to get in solid with an alliance?

4 Comments:

Blogger Tabby said...

No, that was just my little crack at Howie looking older than he claims to be. :)

7/07/2006 11:30 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dang. The moment Danielle got to the diary room and started trash talkin' I started thinking she must want to go home... She seems to be displaying the same obnoxiousness that was her downfall before. ...maybe she has another supersecret alliance working behind the scenes :)

Qaysar looks very grumpy and brooding. I was hoping he'd make it in the house, but not if he's going to be all annoying.

And, I must have had a hard week because your crack about the wild Hanlons running through the house had me laughing out loud, to myself, alone in my apartment... how embarrassing for me. :)

7/07/2006 8:52 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The house seems keen to be rid of Alison, but either way, this first eviction round makes history, since Danielle and Alison were never evicted in their seasons.

It's a shame the producers didn't get more top-line players and, for the most part, only got players who seem to need another 15 minutes of fame. Mark my words: Lisa not getting into the house (my guess Hollywood is treating her somewhat well) will end up hurting Will big time down the road, with his journeyman player friend Mike "Boogie" playing by his side.

7/10/2006 7:11 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm kind of excited about watching Janelle go from America's "queen" to the villian...is that wrong of me? I just love to watch them fall! Ha!

7/10/2006 1:05 p.m.  

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