Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired March 18

Can you believe it? From the highs and lows of the auditions to the disappointment of Grease Academy not being all it could and should be to some great and not-so-great performances, we've finally come to this, the finals. One more Danny and one more Sandy will be going home, then the final four will compete for the last time for audience votes, and then one more episode to go, the season (and possibly series) finale.
Coming out to perform "Rock'n'roll Is Here To Stay", the final six did a pretty good job of making it actually sound like rock'n'roll which has been one of the biggest flaws with the competitors through the season. Was it perfect? No. But it was fun and that's what really matters.
There was some stuff with the contestants talking on video as to how much they want this, blah blah blah. I know I generally gloss over this video stuff, but that's because it doesn't really matter. The only thing about it is that the contestants should be a lot more careful with their words, as the voting public tends to favour humble over arrogant, or even confident for that matter.
We didn't have to wait for the results of last week, as there was no way to build the suspense without making the ousted auditioners compete for nothing.
First up were the Sandys. To nobody's surprise, Laura was safe. Then Billy Bush called Ashley's name, and he did his best to keep some suspense here. He did so well (and it's rare you'll ever see me compliment Billy Bush) that Ashley obviously thought she was leaving. I'm not exaggerating when I say "obviously". The emotions that played over her face were all over the place, but the dawning horror that came with the thought that she was about to be told that she was done was very visible and you could see the tears start welling up. After stringing her along long enough, Billy told her she was safe, and it all disappeared to be replaced by joy.
Manipulating emotions and breaking hearts. That's good television!
So Allie was gone, and she took the news like a real trooper. But don't let it get you down, kid, you're goin' places! (Imagine the last two sentences being spoken by someone in a movie from the Forties, as that's how it sounded in my head when I wrote them.)
Because these were the last eliminations before the finale, Allie got a nice little video tribute showing her journey from the auditions until now. That was sweet.
Next were the Dannys, and Austin was... pause for dramatic effect... safe. And the other Danny proceding on would be... after this commercial break.
Of course they never screw with minds the same way twice in a row, so when Derek's name was called next, it wasn't looking good for him. Sure enough, the best looking Danny and John Stamos' double was gone, and Max moved on.
Derek got his video journey as well, but he also got something Allie didn't. A word from one of the panel members. Kathleen was sad to see him go, and she said she was sure they would work together again. So I guess because Allie didn't get any similar encouragement, Kathleen must think the closest they'll ever work together again is when Allie asks her if she'd like fries with that. Don't be so mean, Kathleen. Allie rocks.
The competition would be different this week. Instead of singing their own songs, the Sandys and Dannys would be singing together so we could more easily compare and contrast them. I like this idea. It would have been a little tedious to see it carried throughout the season, but for one episode? Cool.
Laura and Ashley - Oh, this is one of those biggie songs, one of Sandy's biggest moments in Grease and frankly the only song in the whole thing I really don't care for - "Hopelessly Devoted To You". Laura has the stronger voice, but Ashley not only held her own, I actually liked her whole peformance (including the acting during the song) a little better. Still, this was a little too close to call.
Possibly because these were the finals, the panel didn't have any commentary after the song. Instead, each of the women got a video from a loved one. Laura had to push her wedding back because of this competition, and her fiance got to let her know how all their plans were coming along. Ashley's was more weepy with her sister letting her know how proud she was of her, despite early sibling rivalry over the whole theatre thing that came up after Ashley hurt herself and could no longer do ballet. She wishes she could be there, but unfortunately she couldn't afford the flight... If it weren't for the fans. Apparently a lot of people on the NBC message board came together to buy a ticket for Ashley's sister to come see her, and so she was able to be in the audience providing her support.
Audience voting is never on talent alone, so the winner from this video showdown has to be Ashley. The viewers like weepy.
The women then got to give a plea to the audience to vote for them, and they both seemed pretty even here.
Austin and Max - We've been hearing part of this song all season. The Dannys had to sing "Sandy", but fortunately for both of them it wasn't on the way out. I thought Austin sang more strongly, but Max acted it better and gave the right emotion for the lyrics.
Instead of videos from loved ones, the guys instead gave video interviews where they said what this competition means to them. Austin sees this as his last shot. He feels he needs to be somehwere by a certain age, and if this doesn't do it for him, it might be the end. Eh. I'm sorry, but if you really love performing, you will still do it even if you don't become a star. He should also be happy he's not a woman, or that age limit would be so much younger.
Max let us know he had Bell's Palsy as a child, and so he had to relearn how to use his face. He said because of this, it hurts when people say he's not "conventional looking" (though he isn't a conventional looking Danny, and that would be the case even without the palsy). No matter what else happens, I've got a strong feeling this video won the competition for Max. It's one thing to be a spunky underdog, but to overcome this too? He has this in the bag.
Billy then informed us that the margin between their votes from the previous week was about 1%. Yeah, that video surely put Max over the edge. The two men got their turn to plead for votes, but really, unless Austin started sharing how he was able to overcome years in a wheelchair, he's not going to beat Max no matter how hard he pleads.
There was still a lot of time left in the show, and I was wondering how they were going to fill it. It turned out the competition wasn't over yet. To help the audience judge chemistry, the Dannys and Sandys were going to take turns singing with each other.
The first song was "Endless Love", and the first couple was...
Austin and Ashley - Ashley was great, Austin not so much. But fortunately there was some chemistry there. Enough to make up for the difference in singing ability? I don't know.
Max and Laura - Laura was great, Max not so much. The women have outclassed the men throughout this whole process, and sadly enough we're at the final four and they still continue to do outshine. I'm afraid that no matter who becomes Danny, they're not going to be as good as Sandy and that could hurt the show. Max did put more emotion into the song than Danny, but I didn't feel any chemistry from this pairing which isn't good, as they seem to be the favourites.
It was then time to switch up and sing "I Had The Time Of My Life".
Laura and Austin - This was a much better song for Austin. So much so, I have to say this was my favourite performance of his yet. He was very strong through the whole song, and he did it in his baritone range, a range he seems to be a lot more comfortable and enjoyable in. He and Laura were very good together, and showed quite a bit of chemistry.
Ashley and Max - Neither of them were as strong as the other two here, but they were still pretty darned good. There was a lot more chemistry for Max with Ashley than there was between him and Laura.
Not that it matters. Based on the cheers in the audience alone, Max has this sewn up. If he does, it will be interesting to see how people who go see Grease on Broadway but have never seen this show will accept him.
Now that all the competitive singing was over, we finally got to hear from the panel.
Kathleen would love any one of them in the show, but who does she see most as a greaser and his high school sweetheart? Max and Laura.
Really? I know a lot of people love these two individually, but I felt no sparks at all between the two of them in their song.
Jim said the characters have evolved over the years, and he wouldn't have it any other way. Max and Laura were the two for him as well.
Oh come on. Am I the only one who was left cold by their duet?
David thought it came down to Austin's looks versus Max's humour, and that Max made him laugh so he feels America will fall in love with him, so he "edges it" for him. The women were almost too close to call, but Laura got it by that much just for passion alone.
I really hope for the sake of this Broadway production that I'm wrong about this lack of chemistry between Max and Laura if they win. However, I'm not so sure Laura's going to go all the way.
Yes, she's blown us away with many of her peformances, and by that measure alone she should get this. But as I've said many times, that's not all an audience votes on. She's always seemed a little... I don't want to insult her and I don't mean this in an insulting way... "colder" than Ashley, as well as a little less innocent. I don't mean Laura is cold and hardened by the ways of the world, but her emotions seem to be a little less close to the surface than Ashley, and that could hurt her despite her strong voice.
The Sandy votes could really go either way, and Ashley had enough strong performances this night to sway people who wanted to vote for her emotionally. I'd bet money on Max winning, but I wouldn't bet on the Sandys.
Finally we got to say goodbye to Derek and Allie.
Derek's version of "Sandy" was too upbeat for me, and his "Oh, Sandy!" at the end was with a smile. This made it so much easier to see him go. This last song is where they should be showing us what a big mistake it was to not vote for them, and "Sandy" needs to be full of longing.
Allie's "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" was triumphant, a very nice way to end the last competitive episode of the season.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired March 11

It's getting close to the end. This is the final week where the panel gets to save anyone, then we'll be to our final six and it's all up to the audience.
The musical number to start the night was "Grease" itself and it wasn't bad. Luckily these are just an opportunity for the group to perform together and we're not judging them on it.
We're also finding ourself back to having a guest panelist, and to grace us with his knowledge and experience was Rob Marshall, director of the screen version of "Chicago" (a fine movie) and brother of panelist Kathleen.
Before finding out who's in the bottom two, there was a quick video recap of the previous week, and strangely enough, all the Dannys want to win. Now we can breathe easy. I hate when you get a group of competitors all vying to lose.
Except for a dramatic pause, there weren't any games played this week. Austin and Chad were called out, and they were the bottom two. My first thought was "Derek's cracking voice just might win now!" My second was, this isn't good for Chad as he's been in the bottom more than Austin, who has never been there. But on the other hand, that could well be why they haven't let Austin go either, so we'll have to wait and see.
There is a theme for the songs again. The Sandys are all going to be showing their emotional sides, whereas the Dannys will all be doing Elvis. Nice, and very appropriate. The remaining women are all strong, so it would be strange to see any of them really falter. However, the men are still quite iffy, and if anyone is going to bring out the Danny Zuko in any of them, it's the King.
Allie - Oooh! "Natural Woman"! Great song if sung well. She did a very nice job on it, but not fantastic. As good as her voice is, it's probably the weakest of the three remaining women. She went for it though, and that helped a lot.
Derek - Singing "Devil in Disguise", this was the first time I could really see this John Stamos lookalike as Danny. It suited his voice, and I thought this was his strongest performance to date.
Something special the contestants got after each pairing was a video of friends and families, showing the people supporting them. It was kinda nice, and maybe just the shot in the arm each person needed to give them a little extra boost. Better than the anabolic steroids all of them are all taking.
Kidding.
Kathleen thought Allie sang better than she has been, and Derek showed confidence and charm. Rob said they were both fantastic, but now it's about being in character. Jim and David weren't allowed to say anything! I guess there was too much being squeezed into this hour.
Laura - "Don't Leave Me This Way". Laura wasn't my favourite going in, but she's been giving us one great performance after another, and this was yet another best of the night. If she doesn't win the role, it's not going to be her singing that cost her.
Max - I don't know. He sang "Suspicious Minds" and it just left me flat. He can do so much better than this, but on the other hand, he can do so much worse too.
Jim said he was virtually speechless, and it was a good thing he had that "virtually" qualifier, 'cause he kept on a-talkin'. What it all boiled down to is that neither of them were who most people would picture as Danny and Sandy in the beginning, but talent wins out. Rob thought he was looking at the next Sandy and Danny. David and Kathleen weren't allowed to say anything!
Everyone not in the bottom two then gave a performance of "All That Jazz" in honour of Rob Marshall, and sadly it just showed how superior the potential Sandys are to the potential Dannys. The women sizzled in this song, the men were somewhat lukewarm.
Now it was down to Austin and Chad and the Sing Off. Neither liked being in the bottom two, but dadgummit, they were going to fight!
But before singing for their lives, it was time for that weekly kick in the face. Austin, it turned out, had the lowest audience votes. I have to wonder about the wisdom of telling them this before the song.
The song was "Rock And Roll Party Queen", and Austin kicked Chad's butt. Chad wasn't strong in his performance at all, letting Austin's voice completely overwhelm him.
Kathleen got to give the good news/bad news this week, and they had decided to save Austin as he was seen as the better triple threat (singing, dancing, acting).
I don't mention the hosts very often as there is rarely much to say about them, but Denise Van Outen managed to out-annoy Billy Bush as she badgered Chad into saying which of the remaining men he'd pick to win, and so to shut her up he said Max.
Ashley - Our Meg Ryan lookalike sang "Keep Me Hanging On", and she did a strong job. My biggest criticism would be that it just wasn't bluesy enough, but she did give it a lot of emotion and she got much better in the middle of the song. The end part was only as good as the beginning.
If you're familiar with the song, you'll know there are parts where it goes "Whoa whoa whoa!" The first time she did this, it was a little lacklustre. The second time, right at the end, was much, much better. Basically the whole thing was inconsistent, but never bad.
Austin - He did a nice job singing "Can't Help Falling In Love", but I thought he did it a little too Broadway. We're supposed to be hearing Elvis, and he's performing Phantom.
David say they were both great. Ashley has a great voice, and was showing real passion, real emotion, and real acting. He sees her in the final two. He thought it was great to see emotion from Austin, and complimented his lovely baritone voice. He likes how professional he is, but wants to see him use more emotion and to let more of himself show through.
Rob thought both were so talented. He'd like to see them go on stage and show only Sandy, only Danny. Basically he just contradicted what David said what he'd like to see. Rob would have been interested to see them perform these songs as Sandy and Danny. Kathleen and Jim weren't allowed to say anything!
The favourites this week were Austin and Laura for Jim and David, and Max and Laura for Kathleen. Rob wimped out and said they were all fantastic.
Chad got to sing his goodbye song, "Sandy" as is the custom for the guys. He did an okay job, but nothing to make us wish he was still in the competition. His "Oh, Sandy!" at the end had to have been the lamest one yet, and it came out almost happy. No, it has to be full of longing! Yeah, it was okay that he left.
Now we're down to six, and there are no more Sing Offs and nobody can be saved by the panel. Next week, the bottom vote receivers are going home.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired February 25

It was another hour long episode this week, but instead of duets it was the Sandys performing only. With everything else that has gone wrong with this show, they've actually had some good ideas. By having just the women perform this week and just the men next week, it allows them to cut out a lot of the filler they'd need if they kept the show at two hours or even ninety minutes. This is an advantage they have over a show like, say, So You Think You Can Dance, which has couples perform all the time so they can't do anything like this to make for a tighter episode. The bad news, and there's always bad news, is that this means the show is going to last at least one extra episode.
So being Ladies Night, they started with a women's song, "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee". I couldn't see any of them playing Rizzo, they lacked the necessary edge for a song that is about being a little cruel towards someone, but they all did a good job and had fun with it. Maybe it's because nobody's competing in these group numbers so they're all more relaxed, but it always seems like people do better in these than they do in their actual competition songs.
The special guest this week is Frankie Avalon, who you might remember as the (slightly old) Teen Angel singing "Beauty School Dropout" from the movie, and even more important, he was Frankie opposite Annette in the Beach movies! However, unlike previous guests, he's not there to judge but to sing his famous Grease song. For the first time since the show went live, we're going to have a three-person panel.
Before getting to the competition, we got a look at the competitors over the last week where they were doing a lot more in the way of acting, and this included a lot of shots of different Dannys and Sandys kissing. This is one thing that's disappointing me about this series. The competitors have to be a triple threat of singing, dancing, and acting. Every week we see them sing, and quite often we get to see them do some moves. However, the only acting we're really shown is any they do while they're singing. Damn it, I want the chance to judge them as complete stage performers! It would be a little harder to pull off a completely non-musical episode, but we should at least get a chance to vote for the whole package.
The bottom four this week are Chad, Kevin, Kate, and Kathleen. Yes, despite how horribly he missed some notes last week, Derek is safe. I'd put money on which Danny is leaving, but the Sandys are too close to call. We're going to have to wait until later to say goodbye to anyone though. Before that, we get to see the safe women compete.
Ashley - Her scene partner over the week was Kevin, and we do get to see some acting, but just a taste. Damn you, producers! This sucks! Unlike Ashley's singing. Not that she blew me away. Performing "These Boots Are Made For Walking", she had some good moves that fit in with the song, but there was something lacking in her vocals. The woman in this song is strong and she's not going to put up with some guy's crap. She didn't make me feel that. With only four women left after tonight, they're going to have to do much better than this.
The Dannys may have not been competing tonight, but that didn't mean they got to slack off. Instead, they were employed as dancers for the women. Some used more than others, but they all got some stage time. I liked this idea.
Going to the panel, Kathleen loves Ashley, but she wishes she wasn't so poised and would like her to show more passion. Jim, ever the filthy old man, liked her in her boots and thought she was great. David was unconvinced by her, and would like to see more passion as well. His socks, he claimed, weren't knocked off.
Allie - Her scene partner was Max, and apparently there is some real life flirting going on with them. I will not make any jokes about straight guys in musical theatre, but feel free to insert your own here. However much real life flirting they were doing, Kathleen didn't see it in their performances and didn't much care for their scenes.
Just like I didn't care much for Allie's song, "It's Oh So Quiet". It wasn't her fault, it's the song I don't like. I did like what she did with it though and she was having fun up there. That's really what matters here. It doesn't matter how technically good you are as a singer, we need to feel you in the song. That's true in any singing venue, but more so in a musical where the songs are often ways of communicating your inner voice and feelings to the audience.
Kathleen thought she was fun, free, and real, and would like to see her bring this to her scenes. Jim said it was musical comedy at its best. Carrie Ann Inaba said... oops! Dancing With The Stars doesn't start until March 19! Will I cover it? I'd like to, but five shows going at once may be a little too much. Besides, I still haven't watched last season yet, and I've still got it on tape. Anyway, David thinks Allie needs to work on her acting, because in a competition where they're looking for a triple threat, will two out of three be enough?
Laura - Her scene partner was Derek, and Kathleen's criticism was that she shouldn't just be sweet, she should be sultry too.
Someone was listening, because when she sang "Fever", she was sultry as heck! Dang, Laura, between this performance and "Jesus Christ, Superstar", you just became the front runner! There's been too much worrying about singing with polish, and it was great to see someone not only concern themselves with the emotion and to do it this well! Easily the performer of the night.
The panel seemed to agree. David got very alliterative and said she was sexy, sultry (see?), sophisticated, and she sizzled. Jim said she reached another level of "WHOOOO!". Kathleen thought she was watching a star, and likes how she commits herself.
After they went backstage earlier, the bottom four shared their thoughts on being the bottom four, and surprisingly none of them wanted to go home. On stage after these shocking comments, Billy Bush announced the bottom two vote getters, and it was Kevin and Kate. He then told us the name of the song they'd all be singing - Blue Moon, from the movie Grease. And from rock'n'roll history, but we can pretend it didn't exist before 1978 if you'd like.
All of them were okay. There wasn't one of them I wanted to see saved based on this performance alone. Sure, they sang it prettily enough, but it goes back to feeling them in the song.
This week was Jim's turn to do the dirty work, and they saved Kathleen and Chad. To their credit, Kevin and Kate maintained a very positive outlook about this result and their futures in the business. I liked that a lot.
Kathleen - Her fellow bottom four dweller, Chad, was her scene partner. As it turns out, Kathleen has never had a stage kiss before. It worked out to her advantage, because it added to her awkwardness as Sandy with Danny trying to kiss her. Kathleen really liked her vivaciousness in the scenes.
Unfortunately, her song this week, "Let's Hear It For The Boy", was her worst one yet in my opinion. Her vocal wasn't great, and she seemed to be trying too hard to be fun. Kudos to her for trying to bring the right emotion to the song though. It just has to be natural.
David didn't think that was her best vocal either, and she seemed to be out of breath for much of the song. He said her acting scenes were fabulous (and they were what saved her), but she will have to blow them away in her performances. Jim agreed with David, and said her acting took his heart. Judge Kathleen is a fan of Competing Kathleen, but isn't sure if this role is right for her.
Finally we got Frankie Avalon singing "Beauty School Dropout" with the remaining Sandys. They did a good job backing him up, but personally I would have liked them to bring more personality to it. If you watch the movie, look at the Pink Ladies. They may only be backing him up, but their characters still shine through.
After this it's more video time, and we get to hear who the Sandys feel are their favourite Dannys, and this is balanced out by the Dannys smack-talking each other. It was quite enjoyable to see. If we could see more backstage bitchiness and less Billy Bush, this would be a far better show.
The panel then gave their opinions as to the best Sandy of the night, and it was Laura in an unanimous decision. I fully concur. Good job, panel.
As is the custom, our rejected Danny and Sandy each got to sing one last time. Kevin's rendition of "Sandy" wasn't bad, but it really didn't tug at the ol' heartstrings enough. At least it did tug a little bit though, to his credit. His "Oh, Sandy..." at the end, however, was very good. Acting! There may just be some thespian in this boy yet!
Kate started out with some microphone problems, but that was sorted out quickly enough to give us what was possibly the best "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" yet. In fact, she did such an excellent job at it that I was quite pissed we didn't get to hear more of her and got too much of the other Sandys singing with her. I haven't been a fan of this arrangement from the start, because it doesn't give the departing woman enough lines in her own farewell song, but this was too much. If she had been bringing this much emotion to the rest of her performances, we would have been seeing quite a different result this week, I'm sure.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired February 18

I know this is being posted later than I would have liked, but with three shows on Sunday now I have to work out the best way to schedule the time. However, I am so dedicated to you, the reader, that I'm going to get this written right now despite having a splitting headache. Hopefully the Tylenol will kick in before I have to talk about Billy Bush. No, on second thought, I want it to go away so no Billy Bush talk this week at all. I just can't promise much in the way of humour.
The first thing of note this week was that the show went suddenly from two hours to one. Either they were going to have a mass exit to speed things up to the end, or it's Duets Night. It makes sense. Danny and Sandy need chemistry, so it's a good idea to have the men and women perform together.
The show started with the usual group performance, this week it was "Born To Hand Jive". The dancing by everyone was pretty good, but when it came to solo singing in the song, some of the voices far outclassed others. It went by pretty quickly though, so I didn't have time to take notes.
This week's guest panelist was Jon Secada. A singer I've heard of, but what qualifications does he have for this? It turns out he's played Danny on Broadway. Alright, good enough for me.
Before getting to anything else, we got a video trip through the last week where contestants demonstrated their egos while doing a little trash talk against their competitors. Oooooh. It might not have been so awkward if they had the opportunity to see this before it aired. Ah well, it was pretty obvious they weren't all friends anyway.
Because of the once a week nature of the show, the producers can't keep the suspense over eliminations going for too long, and as the two that aren't cut need to compete still, it's right to the bottom four. This week, it's Jason, Juliana, Kevin, and Kathleen, and the two Js got the lowest votes from the viewing audience.
The good news? The Tylenol seems to be working and while my head still hurts, the worst of the pain has passed.
The song they would have to perform was "Those Magic Changes" and it was more evidence that the women in this competition are light years ahead of the men. Juliana and Kathleen sang it very well, and with feeling. Jason and Kevin both sang it tunefully, but neither of them had any emotion behind the song. If you're going to be performing in a musical, you'd better be able to put that emotion into whatever you're singing. The songs usually have a reason to be there, they are part of the story and help show the audience what you're feeling at that moment. If Sandy just left you at the drive-in, you have to let us know how much you love her in your song!
Judge Kathleen got to make the call this time around, getting to save Kevin because he was one of the best singers and Contestant Kathleen because she was one of the best actresses.
In her final words, Juliana said she would have liked a chance to show more of what's inside her and do some more different styles. In his, Jason said he would have liked to have been able to impress David this week. Enough chitchat though, let's get on to the competition.
Ally & Chad - "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". The singing was pretty good, and I thought these were Chad's strongest vocals to date. The chemistry between the two of them was okay, but they didn't blow me away.
They did a better job on the panel though. Jon thought they were absolutely electric. Kathleen said that Chad really rocked out and that Ally came back from her bottom four placing last week like a pro. Jim said that Ally hit him in the heart, and that Chad was wonderful. Dave called it "theatrical Viagra". He said Chad needs to go big, and that Ally was fantastic.
Austin & Laura - This is tricky, because "I Don't Know Much" is one of my favourite romantic songs, so they'd better do it justice. Luckily they did a great job, and I really liked their chemistry. For me, it was the chemical reaction of the night.
David believed they were in love. Jim said that they told a story and it was dramatic. Kathleen loved both of them, Austin has charisma and Laura is getting stronger every week. Jon thought they were fantastic and had great personalities.
Headache update - the pain is almost gone. Good job, Tylenol! I'm still going to get this done and head to bed though.
Max & Ashley - "It Takes Two", a Donny and Marie classic! I really didn't feel the chemistry, unfortunately, but at least they did a decent, fun performance. There was one great moment in the song where Ashley did a little giggle which added a heck of a lot of personality into everything.
Jon thought they looked relaxed. David said that Max is engaging and real, and that Ashley should work to keep it real (did he not hear the great giggle?), the jerk. Jim thought that Max was great and that Ashley is getting better. Kathleen likes Max's humour, and thought Ashley was relaxed and playful. Did you hear that, David? Ha!
Derek & Kate - Singing "From This Moment On", Derek missed some very unfortunate notes early on, something you can't afford to be doing at this stage of the game. The chemistry was okay, but as the song progressed both it and the singers got stronger and stronger.
David said it was sort of okay, Derek didn't wow him and he definitely noticed the missed note. He thought Kate needs more charisma, and she left him bored. Jim and Kathleen had the same issues, the former saying they can do better and the latter thinking Kate needs to be more spontaneous. Jon said they shouldn't be afraid to "go for it."
Kevin & Kathleen - Before getting to their song, we heard their reactions to being in the bottom four. Kevin said he was happy to be saved and that he will "bring it". Kathleen was thankful to be saved, and she promised to sing her butt off. In other words, they said the same thing in other words.
Singing "Something To Talk About", I thought they did a good enough job, though not exactly bringing it or singing their butts off. However, I thought they did have more chemistry than most of the couples we'd seen.
David thinks that Kevin has a big voice but he's small on charisma and star quality, and told him that his days are numbered (which will surely cause a lot of horror online and result in him getting a lot of votes just to put that mean judge in his place (seriously, I've seen this happen on Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance (which is a lesson to judges, if you think that someone needs to go, don't tell them that or you'll end up keeping them around longer))). Kathleen came across much better to him though, as he loved her performance though he would like to see less woman and more girl. That would have really creeped me out if Sandy wasn't an innocent girl in high school.
Jim agreed that Kathleen needs to show more innocence. He was far nicer on Kevin, saying that he's not getting the right songs for him. Kevin would like to get the right songs and show them what he can do. I felt very for him, you could really hear the sting of David's words in his voice. Judge Kathleen put in another vote for Contestant Kathleen being more innocent, but she is very strong. She also agreed with the song not being right for Kevin's voice. Jon said there seem to be problems with them not listening to each other in the song and that they're not clicking.
The best Danny and Sandy of the night? David liked Austin and Ashley. For Kathleen it was Chad and Ashley. Jim and Jon agreed on Chad and Ally. I must have missed something in Chad's performance. Maybe they were impressed because he was so much better than he's been yet.
It looks like the goodbye songs will be the same each week. Jason's "Sandy" was okay, but there was not enough longing in it at all. Matt had so much more emotion in his version last week, and he has nowhere near the voice talent that Jason possesses. Matt drew out an "Awwww!" from the audience when he was finished. Jason drew out polite applause.
Juliana, however, was very good in her version of "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)". It's just a shame that the remaining women had to join in, because I would have liked to have heard more of her. And yes, that "(Reprise)" has to be there. I checked the album last week and that's the title of that version, because the first "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee" is sung by Rizzo when the Pink Ladies are all in Jan's bedroom and Frenchie has taken Sandy into the bathroom to pierce her ears. Do you see now why I have to watch this show?
My headache is completely gone now, but I'm tired so I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired February 11

Summer Lovin' on a cold winter night. Thank you, Grease: You're The One That I want.
Yes, "Summer Lovin'" was our opening number, and almost everyone did a swell job. Ashley Anderson showed more confidence that we've seen from her yet, but Matt Nolan once more made us question how he ever made it as far as he has. He's so out of his league in this competition that I'm feeling bad commenting on his lack of ability and it's really the fault of the producers for letting him get this much attention. What he needs more than anything else is vocal training, and it's very obvious he hasn't had any. There's no shame in needing the training and going for it. If anyone honestly thinks he currently has the voice to open a Broadway show, I'm going to have to ask why they watch with the volume on their tv off.
But enough picking on Matt! There'll be more time for that later! First, we have to hear about a new twist. It seems that the bottom two guys and bottom two gals in votes received are going to have to sing for their survival, and the panel will choose who goes home. Huh? This is the first I've heard of this rule. It's the first anyone has heard of it. It's almost like this was a last minute change in the game to prevent someone from winning who shouldn't. Remember last time around I predicted Matt would be safe this week. As soon as I heard this rule, that was my first thought. Why else would they spring this new twist out of nowhere and risk pissing off everyone who voted?
We were introduced to the panel including special guest, Andrew Lloyd Webber, then there was some footage meeting the contestants talking about the competition. If cars could run off ego, many of these people would never have to walk anywhere again. But you have to have some degree of ego to make it in that business, so it's all good.
After this it was time to find out who would make up the bottom four.
Of the men, it would be Jason and, surprise, Matt. I would have bet money that Matt got more votes than Jason, and thus the new rule. But would anyone let us know who got what? If they're planning it, it's not happening yet. I'm not surprised Jason was the other one. My entire comment on his last performance - "He sang 'Faith' and was pretty good. That's all I've got to say about him." Not exactly someone setting the show on fire.
The women were next, and the bottom two were Ashley A. and Ally. I though Ally's performance was much better than Double A's, but you never know with the voting audience and their love for plucky underdogs. Seriously, look at all the movies where the plucky underdog makes it over all the hurdles and wins. Even in the rare instance the plucky underdog loses the big game, they still win big in life because of their newfound confidence and respect. I see it all the time in watching the popularity of contestants in competitive reality shows. The people go nuts for their plucky underdogs. Stephenie in Survivor: Palau? Plucky underdog, very much loved by fans. Stephenie in Survivor: Guatemala? Ran the show, not so much loved by ex-fans. (I was still rooting for you, Stephenie!) Dancing With The Stars horror, Master P, ran out of luck when people realized that even though he was a huge underdog, he wasn't so plucky.
The point I'm trying to make is that people love their plucky underdogs, and even I'm tired of reading those two words so I'll move on to the competition, which finally started after all of this.
Max - Everybody's favourite Crumm went and got himself a haircut. He's really trying to show he can look like Danny. I wish him luck, because he does have talent. We already know he has the ability to sing, and his version of "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", while not the best version I've ever heard, was pretty darned good.
Laura - HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP! Where the hell did she come from!?!? Last time we heard her sing, my entire review of her song was, "Good. Blah blah blah." This week she kicked some serious ass with "Jesus Christ Superstar" and moved to the front of the pack with the performance of the series so far! I'm not even going to keep you suspense with this one. Nobody touched her all night. If she keeps this up for the rest of the season, the role of Sandy could very well be hers. However, we still have some very talented women to come, and even if the night is Laura's, there are still several more weeks left. But who is her best competition? We'll see soon.
Visiting with the panel, Laura blew everyone away. Jim called Max a "master storyteller", and David was very happy with the changes he's making. Andrew Lloyd Webber loved both, but he also made some very good comments and critiques that showed he's more comfortable being in this position than Olivia Newton John was. Of course, she's a performer, whereas ALW helps put huge productions together so this is something he's fairly used to.
Derek - Ooh, backup dancers! Derek gave a good rendition of this song, but I was more impressed with his dance moves. That he was able to dance as well as he did and still sing is a good indication that he could well pull off the Danny role. His song wasn't going to take anyone's breath away, but he's very capable.
Ashley S. - Ashley Spencer, you Meg Ryan lookalike, what have you brought us? "Take That Look Off Your Face", you say? No, not say, sing and act. I loved that she not only sang this song very well, but played it on her face too. One of my issues with this competition is that we're only voting on singing. I'd like to see them really give us something different and have a week of dancing and a week of acting. The prizes here are Broadway roles, and the winners should be triple threats. Give us chances to vote on singing, dancing, and acting, and you'll stand apart from other shows a lot more.
I wasn't the only one who noticed Ashley's face. Kathleen did too and commented on just that. She loved both, as did ALW. Jim loved that Derek did dancing and singing together so well, and thought that Ashley was just wow! David though that both of them were good, but he would have liked to have seen more anger in Ashley's face.
Kevin - He did "Burning Love" with backup dancers, and was pretty good but he was no Elvis. "Grease" takes place in 1959 and there are some pretty rockin' songs in it. If these contestants are going to do it any justice, they'd better start drawing out their rock'n'roll selves.
Juliana - "Don't Cry For Me Argentina". I loved it, and thought she did an excellent job. She reached me emotionally, but what do I know? I'm just an audience member.
David, for example, thought she had too much polish. He also thought that Kevin's not sexy enough yet to be the leader of the pack. ALW thought Kevin should show more character, and that Juliana was a little insecure in some notes. Kathleen wants Kevin to show off more, and she wanted Juliana to break out more and show her feelings. Jim thought both of them could have been better. Like I asked, what do I know? These are the pros.
At this point it was time to take a break from the competition and give us some filler. There was some talk with Andrew Lloyd Webber and his thoughts on the competition. A look back at the week with the cast and talk of "Phantom of the Opera", then the cast came together to sing the eponymous song from that show. It wasn't the best cast number we've seen, but it was okay. We also got to see Billy Bush prove just how horrible he is at this job when he called their guest judge "World Wide Webber". For the first of two times that night. I'll just let that sink in for a bit.
"World Wide Webber".




IT MAKES NO FREAKIN' SENSE!
Chad - He was fighting the flu when he sang "My Eyes Adore You", but he was pretty good.
Kate - She sang "Buenos Aires", a song with a very Latin beat. She sang it very well, but I would have loved to have seen some more Latin moves to go with it. Kate's from Cincinnati, and she moved like it. Luckily we're casting Sandy in "Grease", not Carmen Miranda in "The Carmen Miranda Story".
ALW, or WWW as we'd call him if Billy Bush got his demented way, didn't watch to judge Chad because of the flu, but he loved Kate. Kathleen loved both. Jim thought Chad was a little too contained, and he liked how flirty Kate was. David thought Chad was the most romantic Danny, and that Kate is really good.
Austin - "Ease On Down The Road". I lost confidence in Austin last time, but he went up in my esteem again this week. This was a very good, fun version of the song, and he danced quite well with his backup dancers.
Kathleen - My favourite Sandy last time, she did an excellent job singing "Memory". If it wasn't for Laura's performance earlier, this would have been the song of the night.
ALW wasn't sure about Kathleen at first, but he thought she got a lot better at the end. Judge Kathleen liked how physical Austin got, and she thought that Contestant Kathleen was excellent. Jim thought Austin was really able to pull the song off, and that Kathleen was fantastic. David thought Austin was the best Danny of the night, and I have to agree with him. He thought Kathleen was wonderful, and I have to agree with him again.
With all of that out of the way, we came to the Bottom Four part of the night. There was some video showing us how they took it backstage. See, voters? Look upon the pain you have wrought! Watch them cry because you voted for someone else! I hope you're happy with yourselves.
Before the song, Billy Bush announced who got the lowest votes. Yes, it was Jason and Ally. What did I say about plucky underdogs? I almost felt like this information was given as a warning to the audience. "Look what you made us do! We didn't want to have a sing-off, but you forced it upon us!" If this doesn't tell us that the new rules were a last minute change because the producers were horrified at the thought of the plucky, yet slightly (or in the case of Matt, far) less talented underdogs making it through to the end. Personally, I love this bottom four with the panel making the final decision idea. They should have thought of it from the start. It gives the audience a chance to participate, but it keeps people who shouldn't advance from going on and knocking more talented performers out. This is what they do on Rockstar an it works. No plucky underdogs there, nosiree.
If the evidence of this being a last minute decision wasn't piling up enough already, the sing-off consisted of the bottom four taking turns singing parts of "Tears On My Pillow", the same song performed at the infamous Grease Academy massacre when they cut the contestants from 50 to 24. Jason did a good job, and Matt was the best he's been yet (showing he's got potential to sing, so I really hope he looks into getting some serious voice classes). Ally was also good, and Ashley A. was very good. But was she good enough to save her from the judges' wrath? The two times we've heard Ashley A. sing this night, she's been better and showed more confidence than we've seen from her at any other time in this process. If she was this good two weeks ago, then she would have had a much better chance.
After the singing, it was up to David to drop the axe. He said they were saving Jason and that Broadway is not for beginners, and they were saving Ally because they had no idea why she was in the bottom two Sandys. David, she was in the bottom one of the Sandys because she's not a plucky underdog!
Ashley A. was a tremendous sport about this, and she said they didn't rise to the occasion when they got their second chance. Matt said he's not giving up on his dream, which is admirable but if he's going to seriously go after that dream, he really should get training. There is definitely nothing wrong with that.
And there you have it. The bottom two were saved by this new twist. Hey, I'm all for it if it means that the most deserving move on in the competition.
The episode wasn't over yet though. The saved two still need to give their performances and try to win audience votes for next week.
Jason - He got to see "That'll Be The Day", and he gave a darned good performance with a great ending. It was one of the best, if not the best, rock'n'roll songs we've seen yet. I know, that's not saying much.
David thought he needs to improve, and Jim thought he was fine. Kathleen thinks he's too slick. AJW sees improvement in him.
Ally - She gave a very good rendition of "I Don't Know How To Love Him", proving that our field of potential Sandys far outshines our field of potential Dannys.
Kathleen thought she gave a beautiful performance. Jim wants her to let us inside (and I really hope he means metaphorically), and David agreed. AJW really likes her and wants to see her draw on the expert help she has available.
David's picks tonight for the best Danny and Sandy were Austin and Laura, Kathleen liked Derek and, being the sole dissenter when it came to Sandy, Contestant Kathleen, Jim liked Max best for Danny and ALW liked Derek.
Our two rejected competitors got a chance to sing one last song. Matt sang "Sandy", showing that he does have potential with the right training, and his "Oh, Sandy" at the end was so emotional the audience gave a very sad, "Awwwwwww!" I've been hard on Matt through this whole thing, but if he can put that kind of emotion into acting, even if he can't get his voice good enough for musical theatre, it's not the only kind of theatre out there.
Ashley Anderson sang "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee", the reprise that Olivia Newton John sang sadly later on in the movie shortly before she made her transformation. Ashley A. killed it. Damn, she was good. If she had been able to bring that confidence and emotion with her earlier, she would have easily still been in the running.
Really, she was that good. I wish them both much success in chasing their dreams, but Ashley Anderson is definitely that much closer to making it happen.





Plucky underdogs.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 28 - Partial Recap

So we've made it to the live performance part of the season, and we get to vote for the people we like best. As I've stated time and again, I'm not a big fan of audience voting. However, one thing that could improve it is that instead of voting for our favourites, we vote out the one we like least. That wouldn't get rid of all the problems, but it would dramatically lower the chance of another Master P debacle.
While it's often reasonable that large numbers of people may disagree on who's best, it's often easier to agree on who's worst, especially in the early going. By voting for the worst, there is a better chance that the votes of people who vote for the worst as the best would be thwarted. Yeesh, did that sentence even make sense? As it is, a lot of second or third favourites are leaving, and that's a travesty.
Speaking of travesties, I thought "You are not Sandy/Danny" and "You are... the one that we want" would be the most annoying aspects of this series. Oh, did Billy Bush prove me wrong. He took it upon himself (or it was a bad production decision) to give everyone really stupid nicknames, depending on if they're auditioning to be Sandy or Danny. "Okay, you're our 'Perky Sandy', and you're our 'Butch Danny'!" (Alright, the former may have been one of them, but I'm positive he didn't use the latter. The whole thing was too horrible to bother writing them down. If you really want to know, someone actually bothered listed them in the bios at NBC.com.)
Instead of "judges", the show has a "panel". This "panel" (who aren't judges) will judge the competitors, giving us their insight into the performances. Joining the same three we've seen all season will be Olivia Newton John. I really want to say something snarky about her facelift, but I can't. It really sucks how much of a premium society places on youth, especially in women, and even more especially in show business. I'm sure there have been good facelifts that are unnoticeable, but then there are ones that look much worse than any wrinkles would. Alright, that's all I'm going to say on the subject.
The show started off with the whole cast performing "You're The One That I Want", and it was pretty gosh-darned good. Nobody really stood out as the best or the worst, and it was a fun, high energy number. They each got to do a little solo, and the only flaw was the lack of sound coming from Austin Miller's mouth, something I attribute to his microphone likely being off.
Our two hosts, as always, are Denise Van Outen and the aforementioned Billy Bush. It was very obvious right from the start that Denise outshines Billy as a host in many ways. In addition to not coming up with stupid nicknames, she has the uncanny ability to actually look at the camera. Not so much with Billy, who can't seem to go two seconds without staring very obviously at the cue cards or teleprompter, whatever the case may be.
The way this is going to work is that they are going to bring out the contestants two at a time. We first get to know a little bit about each potential Danny and Sandy thanks to some videos that I'm not going to bother recapping, then they take turns performing different songs.
First up were Derek and Austin, and let's cross our fingers that Austin's microphone is finally working.
Derek - First we had a Meg Ryan lookalike, now it's John Stamos. Now, he didn't look like Uncle Jesse all the time, but from certain angles, it was definitely there. Derek sang "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", not one of my favourite songs but he did very well. So well, in fact, that he shot right up there as the Danny to beat.
Austin - From the auditions he was my favourite, but not so much now. He sang "Mony Mony", and sang it well, but not good enough to be better than Derek.
After each pairing performed, it was time for feedback from the panel. Right across the board, everyone loved these two. I'll say right now as well that Olivia Newton John was just taking up space, because she liked everyone so I'm not going to mention her again when we get to the judg... panel.
Ally - She sang "I Love Rock'N'Roll", and she did so well enough I guess. The song should be a lot more raw than she did it, as she doesn't seem to have quite that rockin' edge. Which is good for Sandy until the transformation.
Kate - This was interesting. She seemed to go between wobbly and very, very strong in her voice. She sang "All By Myself" in a disturbingly sunny way. It's not a cheerful song, for crying out loud.
Kathleen loved both, but wanted to see Kate a little looser. David thinks that Kate is the best singer in the competition. Jim could really see Ally as Sandy, and Kate just blew him away.
And then came the twist. We don't have a final 12, we have a final 14! What? How? Who? Most importantly, why? Two people who were cut last week have been brought back, and they are... Ashley A. Yay! Two Ashleys! I don't know why I enjoy that, but I do. The other is... Matt Nolan. Oh. Put your hand to your chest. Anything over that is overwhelmed, anything under it is underwhelmed. To figure out how this news has affected me, move your hand down to around your ankles. Yeah, I'm about that excited. At least I got to see an "Ashley A." graphic. Woot!
Matt - Our resident jock sang "Pretty Woman", and, oh. That's why he was cut in the first place. He sang better than we've seen before, but nowhere near Broadway quality. Or karaoke even. I know I'm going to piss a lot of Matt Nolan fans here, and a lot of them have found this blog. I know, I've seen the search engine keywords that have brought people here. But come on, he wasn't that good. When he tried to hit that high note, I actually winced for the poor guy.
Ashley A. - Singing "Still The One", Double A had a pretty and emotional voice, but it was still pretty week. I don't know if it's nerves or not, but if every other woman sings with more confidence, she should be an easy first elimination. Sorry, Double A.
Oh, come on Newton John! It's okay to give constructive criticism! Kathleen thought both of them were a little tentative in their performances (no kidding). David was not happy with Ashley, and said that Matt needs to work on his vocals (no kidding). Jim... was hitting on Ashley? What the hell!?? No! This is just wrong! Let's move on, nothing to see here...
Jason - He sang "Faith" and was pretty good. That's all I've got to say about him.
Max - The male contestant with the greatest uphill battle due to him having the wrong looks. That's such a shame, because his vocals on "Summer of '69" were fantastic, as were his moves. If he doesn't get to be Danny, I really hope they find another role for him.
Jim loves them both, and particularly the growth he's seen in Max. Kathleen and David loved both as well, though David thought Jason was a little too "pop" in his performance. Yeah, I can see that.
Laura - "Why Do Fools Fall In Love". Good. Blah blah blah.
Kathleen - Singing "Suddenly I See", she was very, very good! Quite possibly my favourite Sandy yet, based on vocals! She also showed a great sense of humour after the performance when she was talking to the ju... panel.
David thought Laura was a little too sweet and nice, but he loved Kathleen. Kathleen agreed with him, and Jim, still dreaming about Ashley A., said something or another. I think he may have liked them.
If you'll allow me, I'd like to quote myself from last week.
"The live shows are next, with the first one being a two hour extravaganza of singing, dancing, and filler. Oh, you just wait and see. There will be filler!"
The good news? At least there wasn't that much of it. There was a little story on Jim Jacobs, panel member and co-creator of Grease (I just looked up the other, Warren Casey, on IMDb.com, and sadly he passed away in 1988). The other bit of filler was a question and answer session for the Sandys with Olivia Newton John. Now, what do you think the chances are that we'll see something similar for the Dannys with John Travolta?
Kevin - He sang "Walking In Memphis", and he was very good at it. Definitely one of the better choices here.
Chad - "Signed, Sealed, Delivered", a song we last heard from former WWE wrestler and Fozzy frontman, Chris Jericho, on a little show called "Celebrity Duets" (yeah, that was back when I took too much on so I never finished covering that show, but I still have most of the episodes on tape, as I do with Dancing With The Stars 3, a show that also suffered from recap overload). Unlike Y2J (who I think did a good job), Chad sang it well enough that he should be here next week.
Jim liked Kevin, he loved Chad. David thinks Kevin has one of the best voices, but he loves Chad too. Kathleen loved both.
Juliana - "First Cut Is The Deepest", a song I've long loved, and she did an excellent job with it.
Ashley S. - The other Ashley, the one who made it through the first time, and she showed why. She sang "It's In His Kiss", and she sang it wonderfully.
Jim loved both, and saw the two of them as Betty and Veronica, because one is blonde and one is brunette! Oh, he's such a wit. Kathleen wants to see Juliana having more fun, which makes me wonder if she's at all familiar with the song. Maybe she can do a peppy funeral dirge next! David would like to see more heart from Juliana, and more emotion from Ashley S.
And with 20 minutes left, that's it for the individual performances. After that, all the Dannys and Sandys got together to perform "We Go Together". With all of them dressed in appropriate costumes, it was a good opportunity to get to see them more in the roles they hope to assume.
A wop ba-ba lu-mop.
A wop bam boom.
To finish off the show, we went to the j... panel to see who they though the best Danny and Sandy of the night were, and none were in agreement.
David really liked Derek and Ashley S. For Kathleen, it was Austin and Ally. Jim, on the other hand, preferred Chad and Kate, but I'm sure still wanted to take Ashley A. out for dinner. Olivia Newton John. Grrrr. "I'll let America decide!" Oh, just shut up, Olivia Newton John! Shut up, or make a decision!
Oh, Olivia. I can't stay mad at you. You're the first and only Sandy I've ever known! But still, please, nobody will hate you if you state your favourites. Except maybe the other 12 contestants and their families. But what do you care? You're Olivia Freakin' Newton John!
After this, we got to find out who the mystery guest is for the next episode. Somehow he managed to have a camera right there in his house with him, but of course, he created Cats! Andrew Lloyd Webber! In a completely unscripted conversation, and feeling lucky because ALW already had a camera on him, Jim asked him if he'd join them for the next show. I was on pins and needles, but sure enough, he said yes! Unlike ONJ, I'm sure ALW will offer some criticism. On the other hand, ALW doesn't have the same image to uphold.
And that was it. The only good news about the two people who got a second chance is that it should be an easy vote out this week. It should be. Double A may still go, but I fully expect Matt to be the "upset" of the week and go on. Why? It's more than just all the people who have Googled him (and speaking of Googling, whoever it was who was searching for "max crumb naked", shame on you (yes, someone really did)). His was a story that was followed from his audition through to Grease Academy and on to this miracle second chance. Despite him being the least talented man in the competition, people are more familiar with him than some of the people we just met this week. He'll have enough of a following who see him as a cute underdog that he should easily make it to the next round. Again, I'm not a big fan of audience voting the way it currently stands.
For the record, he seems like a nice kid. He's just not Danny.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 21 - Partial Recap

GREASE ACADEMY IS HERE!

I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl! Finally, after two long weeks and an unending lineup of auditions good and bad, the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived! Grease Academy!
Now, some of it was as good as I was hoping. It was in a real school and there were different classes, but just not as many as I would have liked. Maybe it's because there were only potential Dannys and Sandys there. Once this concept takes off and all the characters are represented, things will greatly improve. There will still be a "Sandy Dance Class", but there would also be "Sandy 101" where you go to learn of the subtleties of her character, and much of her back story. But for now all we have are dance, singing, and acting classes, so it's a mere shadow of what it could be. I guess because it's only for one episode, and an hour one at that, this is the best they could do.
I'm still somewhat disappointed.
What they did do very much right was finally give us little graphics with everyone's names, and we got to see a LOT of them. I have just over two pages of notes, and some of it is just names. I did learn many that I got wrong, even one I thought I had right (Max's last name is Crumm, not Crumb).
First up was the Dannys Dance Class, where we once more met fair-haired Austin Miller, a professional actor and at 30, one of the oldest. It appears he had once been on Days of Our Lives, so I did a little IMDb search to see who he played. You see, I watch Days and I didn't recognize him. It turns out he played a character named "Hawk" back in 2001-2002, but sorry to say that still doesn't ring a bell. I guess that's why he's not on the show anymore. That's okay, he's still my early favourite to play Danny.
We then met Vince Ortiz who is an ice cream store manager with no experience on stage. That's all my notes say. Hey, it does say "Partial Recap" in the title of this thing, so just lay off. There's going to be a lot more of this before we reach the end.
Cut to the Sandys Singing Class, and we got to see some familiar faces and some new ones.
First the two Ashleys, Anderson and Spencer. Ashley A. was good, Ashley S. (the Meg Ryan look-alike, for those of you keeping score) was very good.
Juliana Hansen said she was nervous about all the competition, but she was still pretty good.
Not as good as Kate Rockwell though, who I thought was great.
Then there is Kelly La Velle. At 17, she is the youngest contestant there. She's also the only one who is a minor, so by law she has to be tutored for three hours a day. Put that on top of everything else, and she has so much more work that everyone else. Or that much less time to rehearse, if you look at it that way.
We then got to see some couples paired up and acting out the scene at the drive-in where Danny makes a move on Sandy and she storms out, slamming the door on him. Now I always thought she hit him in the tallywacker, and some of the Dannys went that route, but others showed him getting his hand caught in the slamming door. Boys, it's not as not funny when his hand is hurt, I'm sorry to say. Take two for the team, for crying out loud.
At Sandys Dance Class, Ashley Spencer was doing so well that she was used to demonstrate the moves for Jacqueline Petzel who was struggling just a wee bit.
In Dannys Singing Class, Derek Keeling was doing okay, but OUCH when he tried to hit certain notes.
The judges were getting worried. Out of the 50 people who made it to this august institute of learning, would they be able to find the 12 they need for the live show so that they could live with whoever the public votes on? To add to the pressure, resident Brit David Ian, who had been doing something elsewhere (and something shady, I'm willing to bet, like having afternoon tea at his club for however long he's been absent) was just arriving. I haven't mentioned this before, but David Ian has put $10 million of his own money toward this Broadway revival. That kinda puts the pressure on for this to be a hit.
The performers then went one-on-one with David Ian (I keep feeling there needs to be a third name there, as he has two first names - how does "David Ian Brit-Tumblebottom sound?) so he can have a chance to gauge where they are.
We then learned that Ashley Anderson was struggling and her inexperience was showing through. Is this true? Could we only have one Ashley for the live shows? Maybe. I'm going to try to think positively though.
We then found out that a trio of potential Dannys - Chad, George, and Jason - became friends through this process. A real Three Dannsketeers, if you will, who will support each other, but still compete. I haven't decided that we're privy to this information because it's a heartwarming story, or if the producers just want to add some suspense for later when the cuts are made.
There was a scene from a co-ed dance class, then we got to see athlete Matt Nolan singing for David Ian Brit-Tumblebottom. Oh, he was awful. Mr. Brit-Tumblebottom gave him some advice on how to punch it up, make it more rock'n'roll. Matt took that advise and gave it a much better showing, but still, I don't see him graduating Grease Academy.
Then the kicker - everyone has two hours to learn a new song, and then there will be a mass expulsion as only 24 contestants will move on to the next stage, and the rest will be told to hit the bricks and never darken the doors of Grease Academy again.
The way it worked was that everyone was standing and singing in the same room, and David Ian B-T would go around and tap people on the shoulder. If they got the tap, they were gone. It was quite horrifying to watch, actually.
The first to go was 42-year-old Dominic Fortuna. Gramps was quite surprised at this and said that there are many people who will be shocked to find out that Dominic Fortuna was cut. Maybe at the Shady Rest Retirement Home, but I doubt your average citizen on the street is going to give it a second thought.
We saw Jacqueline Petzel leave, and then Matthew Carpenter. If you remember last week, Matthew was one of the major stories. He and his girlfriend Sarah were both auditioning, their relationship was rocky, and she threw a huge fit when he made it to Grease Academy and she didn't. So after losing that precious jewel, the least that could happen is he could make the live show, but no. He doesn't even make the final 24. Ow.
The Three Dannsketeers made it though, so their relationship is still going strong, at least for now.
After the carnage, the survivors then had two days to prepare for a performance on state in front of an audience of theatre critics and D-list celebrities. As they prepare, the judges still express concern over Max Crumm's looks, even though they think he has possibly the best voice there. This concern over his looks leads to David Ian uttering the best line of the season, "You look like an apology for yourself."
There was something with two women singing, how they've become friends, but I'm not caring at my mind was wandering anyway. We've already got this story with the three guys, so make two more friends and make it the Four Sandketeers and maybe we can talk.
Of the dazzling stars who came to see the performance we got to see... Marilu Henner! Whoo hoo! JEFF CONAWAY! He was Kenickie in the Grease movie! Okay, that was actually kinda cool, even with his alleged problems. I'm not going to say anything here, so go Google his name or something if you want to find out. There is no tabloid babbling here!
So the final 24 performed as one and in groups of four, with everyone getting a chance to solo.
Ashley Anderson did well.
Max Crumm not only did great, but the judges were impressed by how far he was able to get into character.
They thought Kelli La Velle, someone else they were concerned about, was doing well too.
Matt Nolan was doing iffy.
This is where we found out Austin Miller used to be on Days.
Cara Hille (whose name I spelled Kara Hilly previously) was in the last group, and with that note was the question, how did I spell it before? I really need to lay off the cold medicine when I'm watching this.
I thought last week was the last time we'd ever have to hear, "You're the one that we want" or "You're not Sandy/Danny". I was wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong. It isn't cute, producers! It's just annoying as hell, and I'm begging you to just cut people from the competition with dignity!
Now I didn't write down the names of everyone who made it or was cut, so I'll sneak the full names of the winners off the NBC website when we're finished the following list...
Kelli - didn't make it (like NBC can afford to pick up the cost of a tutor for this long).
Allie - made it.
George - didn't make it, thus the end of the Three Dannsketeers.
Jason - made it.
Lexie, the only woman of colour left, didn't make it. This means that Grease: You're The One That I Want, is now officially the whitest show on television after According to Jim.
Sara - didn't make it.
Nick - didn't make it.
Reed - didn't make it.
Who are some of these people? Why am I listing them if we never met them? I was wondering this as I was writing, so I stopped for a few names.
Juliana - made it.
Ashley A. - didn't make it. Bummer.
Then at the end was the showdown. Matthew Nolan vs. Max Crumm. Looks vs. Talent. While the producers would rather have both, in the end the show still has to entertain, and so Talent won out and Max Crumm moves on.
Thanks to NBC.com, here are our final twelve...

Potential Sandys
Allie Schultz
Ashley Spencer
Juliana Hansen
Kate Rockwell
Kathleen Monteleone
Laura Osnes

Potential Dannys
Austin Miller
Chad Doreck
Derek Keeling
Jason Celaya
Kevin Greene
Max Crumb

Yeah, I have no idea who some of them are either. You'd think not having been introduced to the audience yet may give some of these contestants a disadvantage. I know, in the end all that should matter is talent, but we all know by now that these shows often reward popularity over talent. They do that woefully often, in fact.
I've been saying through the auditions that the look does matter too, and if you look at the pictures on the website, you'll see that. Three of the Sandys are blonde, three are brunette, but they all look like what we've come to expect Sandy to look like.
The same goes for the Dannys, where one is blonde and the rest are brunette. The only one who doesn't quite have the look is Max, and he made it through on sheer force of talent alone. However, if there was a stronger field of Dannys, I strongly suspect he'd have been a casualty of the cuts.
But now it's up to us to decide who goes on from here. The live shows are next, with the first one being a two hour extravaganza of singing, dancing, and filler. Oh, you just wait and see. There will be filler!

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 14 - Partial Recap

New York. The Big Apple. The City That Never Sleeps. So nice, they named it twice. A bustling metropolis that was home to the final auditions. After this, it's on to Grease Academy. I mentioned last week that I'd love to get a Bachelor of Rizzo degree from this august institution. After some careful consideration on my academic future, it occurred to me that I'd then like to go back after that and get my MR (Master of Rizzo) or even branch out and get an MF (Master of Frenchie). If I do the former, I could just stay focused and get a PhR (Rizzo of Philosophy), but if I do the latter I could then work towards a thesis on the whole gang and get a PhPL (Pink Ladies of Philosophy).
All I know is that if you are one of the lucky few to get into Grease Academy, your future is wide open to all sorts of possibilities.
The first people we meet are Matthew Carpenter and Sarah Salvatore (as with last week, we didn't get to see any names so all spelling is my best guess). They are dating, but things are pretty rocky right now and oh boy, the show won't let us forget this. Sarah came to New York first, so they spent some time apart and they're hoping this experience will help bring them closer together. It'll be a while before we find out though, as their auditions are not up first.
Who is up first is a pretty, perky Hungarian named Tunda Something. My attempts at spelling surnames don't go as far as Eastern Europe. I'm sure I'd be tempted to throw in vowels where there aren't any, so I won't even try.
Now nothing says Sandy has to be played by an American. Olivia Newton John brought her Down Under charm to the role in the movie and people accepted the character as Australian. The problem with Tundra was that we couldn't tell if she had talent or not as she kept messing up the words. Lots of people learn to sing in other languages phonetically, but Tundra would have had to sing and talk in English, and to show she could have done that, she should have learned the song by heart before auditioning. Needless to say, she didn't make it.
Next up was Ashley Anderson. She had a good look, but many of the potential Sandys do, so can she bring the goods? She tried, but when she tried for too high a note, she lost it. Okay, try it a second time. Same thing. I don't know how much of range she's got, but it doesn't extend into soprano. Luckily for her, she talked them into giving her one more shot. She started lower this time, so when it came around to the note that was giving her trouble earlier, she hit it. Good for her, she moved on.
We then got a montage of a bunch of different Sandys that were all good. That's one of the flaws of this format. If any one of them make it past Grease Academy and end up going against someone who we've already met, they'll have a tougher time connecting with the audience.
We then met Robert Minatolli who had what so many of the men we've seen lacked, the right look. We'll forget his horrendous voice and the montage of bad Dannys and move on to more of Matthew and Sarah.
We're reminded of how rocky their relationship is, but they tell us if one of them doesn't make it, that one will support the other. They've both got the right look for the parts, so if they do get all the way through and end up winning the show together, what a story that will be!
Matthew is up first, and while his voice isn't the best, it's still good enough in a pool of horrible Danny wannabes that he gets to go to the dance round.
Sarah is next, and she has a better voice so she easily makes it to the dance round.
Yay, young love! This is going to be a romantic story for the ages that people will sing of for centuries to come! I can't wait for them to nail the dance audition and come closer together at Grease Academy!
Before that though, there are more people to meet, like Joanne Rizzo (awesome last name!), 42. Yes, 42, the exact same age as Dominic Fortuna who got through last week in Chicago. Her look and voice may not be classic Sandy, but they're good enough that if Gramps Fortuna makes it past Grease Academy and ends up winning the role at the end, they'll potentially have a Sandy that won't make people wince when they see them together! But instead of turning her down nicely, the judges had to be complete asses and insult her while rejecting her. No wonder so many women in show business have plastic surgery. The middle-aged man got approved, but all the middle-aged women got kicked around. I strongly suspect Dominic wouldn't have made it through at all if there were more Dannys to choose from, especially in Chicago where only seven people total made it to Grease Academy, but a little tact wouldn't have hurt. We don't need a Simon Cowell on every reality talent show.
Next was Anne Marie Somethingoranother who had quite a strong voice, but the judges were iffy on her look. She was blonde and pretty, but didn't quite look sweet enough for Sandy. However, she was going to get a chance in the dance round to show them something different.
Matt Nolan, an athlete in school and a secret fan of Broadway. He had a decent look and an okay voice, but he was having trouble hitting some of the higher notes. If he was a woman auditioning for Sandy, he wouldn't have made it to the dancing, but more leeway is given to the men because the judges have so few choices. But can he dance? We'll find out.
Then finally we meet the man who just might end up being Danny, Austin Miller. He's a stage professional, and this is an open audition. I can see people arguing against him online after he gets past Grease Academy (and he was so good with the singing I've no doubt he will), crying that Austin has been on stage and we should make an amateur's dream come true! No. We should vote for whoever is best for the role. Austin also has a great look, but the one change he should make is to his hair. He's blonde. I have no problem with a blonde Danny, but as I've argued with Sandy, the audience has a set perception of what he should look like. Dye your hair black, Austin. It will increase your chances.
The last person we meet is a 16-year-old girl who I won't name because she's been crushed enough by some of the reactions she's received. She did have the wrong look, was too young, and was a little overweight, so she didn't make it anyway. I'll leave it at that.
It seemed like more time was spent showing us the dancing this week, and I appreciated that. We still didn't get to see an awful lot though, and the camera cut around quite a lot. Because of this, I don't feel comfortable judging based on what I saw, so I'll leave that to the judges.
Ashley... was the one they wanted to go to Grease Academy. If there is any reason to be extremely thankful that the auditions only lasted two weeks, it's that we'll never have to hear that ridiculously awkward phrase again.
Anne Marie didn't make it through, but Matt Nolan and Austin both did.
And our love story that's so touching it makes grown men weep? Sarah didn't make it through. She was crushed, but at least she'll have Matthew to commiserate with. He's not as good as her, so he'll easily be rejected. Except, as I've mentioned ad nauseum, there aren't a lot of potential Dannys, so Matthew passes through to Grease Academy. Oh no! Our love story hit an unexpected bump! Luckily she's going to support him through all this and they will live happily ever after. Right?
Wrong. She couldn't even bring herself to look at or talk to him. She grabbed her stuff and stormed right out of there. Wow. I don't watch American Idol, so the only auditions I ever see are on So You Think You Can Dance, and I've never seen anything as pathetic as this. I've crazy people get even crazier, but not on somebody they supposedly love. Sure enough, we're informed, that was the end of the relationship.
The good news for Sarah is that the ratings for this show aren't that hot, so there are still lots of men out there who don't know how selfish, bitter and self-centered she can be.
The good news for us is that this was a twist we didn't see coming! Okay, maybe we suspected that one or both of them weren't going to make it through, but this? Wow. You got us good, producers!

Next week: GREASE ACADEMY!

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 7 - Partial Recap

Yeesh, and I thought "So You Think You Can Dance" was a pain in the ass title to keep typing out. But that's okay, because we've got ourselves a lovely new cheese fest! In case you haven't heard about it or watched the premiere, "Grease: You're The One That I Want" is yet another reality talent show, and the goal of this little gem is to cast Danny and Sandy in a new Broadway version of Grease.
The concept isn't nothing we haven't seen before, except for one truly awesome exception. Auditions were held at different cities in the United States, two of which we got to see in this episode. Out of all the hundreds or thousands who auditions, fifty got chosen to go to, and this is the awesome part, Grease Academy! Damn, I want to go there! Could you imagine having that diploma on your wall? We even got shots of the school with the words "Grease Academy" right there on the building! This is the only thing that could possibly have topped sending them to Rydell High. Anyway, of those lucky bastards who get to go to Grease Academy, only twelve will graduate and get to perform for us, the viewing audience, who will get to vote until we finally have our new Danny and Sandy. I've got chills, and they are definitely multiplying!
Say what you want about how this show somewhat resembles one or two other reality talent shows, but they don't have Grease Academy now, do they? I didn't think so, smart guy.
Grease: YTOTIW has one and a half hosts. The one being Billy Bush, a relative of some other guy named Bush, and the half being Denise Van Outen (no relation to Milhouse Van Houten), a bubbly blonde Brit who barely showed up on our screens. It also has the industry standard three hosts - Kathleen Marshall, who will be the director and choreographer for the Broadway show, Jim Jacobs, who co-wrote the original Grease, and David Ian, the prerequisite British guy. I don't think the FCC allows these show to air anymore if one of the judges isn't from Blighty.
As usual, the series is starting out with just the auditions. Also as usual, the people auditioning range from great to truly awful. I know that some of the truly awful performers are doing it just to be on television, but some of them are seriously deluded and audition with complete sincerity. Either way, for those that were that bad, I didn't bother writing down their names. I don't want to contribute to their crazed grasp for temporary fame, or I don't want to add to the misery of reality crashing completely around them. And yes, as I write all of this, I'm thinking of the second woman we saw on the episode who sings worse than I do, and my voice drives babies to commit murder.
Of those whose names I did take note of, I apologize in advance if I completely butchered the spelling of your name, as the producers didn't get around to providing us the much appreciated nice little graphics. This apology, of course, only goes to those of you who actually spell your names normally. If anyone on this show is named James and spells it any way other than J-A-M-E-S, then not only are you out of luck, I may have to come over there and slap some sense into you. I'm not going through another season on another show dealing with that crap. That said, let's head to Los Angeles.
The auditions do start in the City of Angels, but how good will the talent pool be? This is a town famous for its movies, both silver screen and porn, not its flourishing live theatre. Are there enough singer/dancer combinations to make this trip worth while? We'll find out first who is a good enough singer, and then those who pass that are invited back to dance later on in the day.
First up is Meg Ryan. No, sorry, Ashley Spencer. She only looks like Meg Ryan, and young Meg Ryan at that, not the current Meg Ryan who looks like her face suffered through a tragic loom accident. Why, Meg? I know there is a hell of a lot of pressure on actresses in Hollywood to keep looking young, but now... Oh, but now. Between you and Mary Tyler Moore (two women I used to idolize), I don't know who is the greater public service announcement against face lifts.
I digress though. Meg, I mean Ashley was pretty good.
She was followed by the worst audition we got to see, so let's skip on to the next name I jotted down.
Kaitlyn Doubleday. Hmmm. Of the Doubleday Book Club family, by any chance? Could we get five Sandys for 99 cents if we buy four more at regular Book Club prices within the next two years? Now, I'm writing this several days after I watched the show, but I planned on writing earlier so I didn't write down too much in the way of notes. That means I don't remember too much about Kaitlyn except she had a decent voice and looked like she could be Sandy.
Next up was Fawn something or another (please show us names, NBC). An attractive woman with an okay voice for karaoke. She didn't make it after attempting two songs, and gave us our first tears of the night. Billy Bush was appalled that the judges didn't recognize this woman's obvious talent! I found it impossible to believe that someone with the last name Bush wouldn't listen to the experts. That's unheard of!
After Bambi was my favouritestly named performer of the night, Max Crumb. He had a great voice, and he had the perfect look for the role of... Eugene. Normally I care more about the talent than the looks, but this time around people are auditioning for very specific roles and the look helps sell the believability of the character. If I'm going to stage The Beverly Hillbillies Musical, I'm not going to cast Dakota Fanning as Granny, no matter how good she is. This was the first Danny hopeful we really had though, so he moved on.
Billy Bush then took the stage to beg for another chance for Fawn. Whether he truly believed in her talent or was just smitten with her beauty, I don't know. All I do know is that the judges...
Cut to commercial. Bah.
Like Fawn wasn't going to get the second chance. She took the stage, thanked everyone, then started singing. She was doing pretty darned well, then came a high note and she blew it bad. Oh, it was awful. Judging from the look on Billy Bush's face backstage, I started to wonder if there was a third reason he wanted her to get another chance. Sheer evil malice. No. It's not like his name is Billy Cheney.
Fawn thanked him for getting her a second chance to make a fool of herself (ouch!) and that was the last we saw of her. Until the end of the season when they decide to show highlights and lowlights.
After this debacle, we got to meet Patricia Canelli, the first talented hefty woman of the evening (don't judge my use of the word "hefty", as I'm writing this while lying in bed with a bucket of chicken). She certainly had a good voice, and it would be nice to see a larger woman get the role, but it's not going to happen. America isn't ready for Sandy XL, and shame on you for that. I thought she would make a fantastic Frenchy, but this show isn't casting for other roles. Based on the sheer force of her personality and voice however, she made it through to the dancing.
Vincent Demosky was next, and though he was around the right age for Danny, he looked way too young. As with Patricia, I thought he would have been a good choice for another role, in this case Doody, but I doubt he'd have settled for anything other than Danny. Keep pluggin' at it kid, and we'll see you in a few years.
During the commercials, I saw a commercial for a movie called Stomp The Yard. If you saw it, you probably had the same question that came to me. Will it be as good as Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Alright, now we have Kara Hilly. Good voice, good look, nothing to snark on. Let's keep moving.
Ah, Sunshine Smith. We already have one pudgy hopeful making it on to the dance part of the audition, will we have two? Unlike Patricia, I see Sunshine more in the part of Jan. She has a very nice voice, so that's helpful and it does get her a pass into the dance.
Before we go any further, let me say this about the role of Sandy. If you're a brunette, dye your hair blonde if you want any chance of winning this competition. If you're overweight, don't even try. The audience has one vision of Sandy in their minds, and that's Olivia Newton John. I'm telling you right now that the winner of that role will be a skinny blonde, no matter how much more talented another contender may be. It's not right, and it would be great to see someone unexpected get the part, but that's what happens when the audience gets to decide, you just wait and see. Bookmark this recap and if at the end of the season I'm wrong, I will be more than happy to hear about it. The same thing applies to Danny. Let's just see how much the winner of that role looks like John Travolta.
Like Phil Lander. Wow, this guy has the perfect look for Danny! Stop the auditions now, we've found our... our... what the hell is that? Does he think that's singing? Damn. Never mind.
Deja Jones. An African-American Sandy would be incredible, but for reasons I've detailed above it's not going to happen from this show, though I'd love to be proven wrong. In American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance, there are no preconceived notions of what the winner will look like. But luckily the judges don't have a set vision in their heads (we think), so she makes it through.
Rebecca Cutts showed up right from a pharmaceutical convention, and the way she was dressed was proof of that. Despite being perfectly dressed for the office, she sang with a lot of emotion and moved on to the dance part.
The last contestant we met from L.A. was Chad Doric, who was the best of the Danny hopefuls so far. He not only had a good look for the role, he could sing. Bonus! We have seen a lot of good Sandys, but the show hasn't exactly been swimming in Danny material yet.
I'm not sure if I phrased that correctly.
Anyhoo, we came to the dancing part of the audition, and I wasn't too pleased with the way this was executed. Everyone had an hour to learn a routine, then they danced in groups, and there wasn't enough focus on anyone to really get a feel for their dancing. Maybe I'm spoiled by So You Think You Can Dance, but I would have liked to have seen more of the individuals we just spent the last however long meeting.
After the dances, it was time for the judges to decide who will be cut and who will go on to Grease Academy. Ha! I still love that!
"Ah, Ms. Lavalamp. I see here that you have a BR from Grease Academy."
"Yes, a Bachelor of Rizzo. Do I get the job?"
It turns out that one of the most annoying aspects of the show so far are the phrases used for cutting someone or letting them know they've made it through.
"You are... not Sandy."
"You are... not Danny."
Even that I could live with if it weren't for the following abomination.
"You are... the one that we want to go to Grease Academy."
Picture my eyes rolling (and not so glassy).
Who made it from those we've met? Ashley "Meg Ryan" Spencer, Kaitlyn Doubleday, Max Crumb (who slicked his hair back and dressed more the part, but still isn't quite right for Danny), Kara Hilly, Deja Jones, and Chad Doric. There were others, but we have no idea who they are. The two heavier women didn't make it, and it was probably a kindness letting them go now rather than have to hear the insults that would inevitably fly if they made it further into the process.
The series premiere was scheduled for one and a half hours. By the time we got to Chicago there were only twenty minutes left in the show. That means one of two things. Either the Chicago auditions will continue next week, or there was a severe lack of talent showing up in the Windy City.
Yeah, it was the latter.
It was so bad, there was even time for a tour of Chicago where we got to see the site of the original theatre. We were informed that "unfortunately it's gone now", and normally I would agree with the "unfortunately" part, but there's now a children's hospital there. How unfortunate.
We met so few people in this short time that I'm just going to tell you if they made it to Grease Academy as I name them. There were some interesting bad auditions, but nothing really worth dwelling on.
Jacqueline Petzel. She was good, and she's on her way to Grease Academy.
Dominic Fortuna. Perhaps one of the more interesting finds in Chicago. He has the look for Danny if they plan on making Grease 3: The Middle-Aged Years. At 42, Grandpa Fortuna was the oldest contestant to make it through to Grease Academy with all the young whippersnappers. What bothered me most about this was how insulting the judges were towards older women who auditioned. The only possible way to excuse this double standard was the dearth of potential Dannys.
Kelly Lavelle. Very young, but a passable Sandy. Luckily Sandy can get away with looking like an actual high schooler than Danny can. At 17, if both she and Grandpa Fortuna make it through Grease Academy then are voted through to end by the viewers, we could well be on our way to the most disturbing Broadway show since Ernest Borgnine: Naked and Dancing.
Alex MacIntyre. He had the pipes, but not the look (though at this point that pretty much comes with the territory). He also didn't have the moves, as he didn't make it to Grease Academy.
Of all the people who auditioned in Chicago, only seven made it through to the hallowed halls of Grease Academy (honest, I just don't get tired of writing that). If we saw all of them, that would have doubled the people we met in Chicago. That they didn't warrant some face time on the show doesn't give me much hope that the Faceless Four will make it far in this competition.
So that was that. It was okay, but I've seen better. I don't watch American Idol, but the So You Think You Can Dance auditions are much more exciting to watch. If you didn't watch the premiere, I can still recommend the show. The auditions are in New York next, so there should be much more to see, and if you want to skip that, at least tune in to see Grease Academy the following week!

Dancing With the Stars - Aired Sept. 12 - Partial Recap

It's time to class this joint up, and what better way than some top notch ballroom dancing? Well, I'm not sure yet that's what we're going to get, but how about teaming up a bunch of celebrities with some top notch ballroom dancers? Nothing can go wrong there, as we have learned from two previous seasons of Dancing With the Stars. You may hear the words "debacle" and "Master P" thrown around, but that never happened last season and you will never be able to convince me it did. Sure, parts of my memory of DWtS2 are blank, but I attribute that to my diet of excessive alcohol and Mentos.
The first big news of the season is that co-host Samantha Harris is back to help make Tom Bergeron look good. Samantha wasn't with the show in season one so it's nice that they kept her around this time for some more flub-filled fun.
She and Tom start off the show by introducing the pairs, but we'll name them as they perform. I just want to note that of course Tucker Carlson is wearing a bowtie. What was that term Jon Stewart used to describe him? Oh yeah. Dick. Oh, I'm sure there were other reasons he had for calling Carlson a dick, but reallyl, just a young man wearing a bowtie is reason enough. But enough with Carlson's dickitudinousness.
The judges haven't been introduced yet, but it's nice to see the usual crew of Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman, and Bruno Tonioli. We're also informed that the female stars will be dancing the fox trot, and the male stars the cha-cha.
Joey Lawrence - Joey Lawrence with the shaven head? Whoa! (Ha! A Blossom reference!) I've heard that he prefers "Joe" Lawrence these days, but screw that. Same to you, "Rick"(y) Schroeder. If Dusty Hoffman and Robby DeNiro can live with it, so can you. His professional partner is Edyta Sliwinska, and let me tell you, I've never been more happy to see someone's name in the graphics.
Another site has Joey as their official choice to win the championship, damn their eyes. Not here though. The official pick for Realivision is Jerry Springer, due in no large part to the fact that his winning would piss off Tom DeLay. What better reason than that?
Anyway, Joey can dance pretty well. This particular routine didn't blow me away, but it showed that he has a lot to work with. Curses!
The judges all liked what they saw, with some minor critiques on what he should work on.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 7
Len - 7
Bruno - 7
Total - 21
Not spectacular by any means, but it gives room for better scores as he improves, and frankly, it was a fair score for the dance.
Sara Evans - Screw you, Tom DeLay, I will not vote for her! Unless... Aaargh! Me and my damned "morals". I've always argued that viewers should always vote for who they think is the best dancer. So other than Jerry Springer, who we should vote for regardless, if this country singer is the best tonight, then (sigh) vote for her.
Her partner for the tournament is Tony Dovolani.
The dance was pretty. Again, it's still early but she did pretty well.
Ha! Carrie Ann Inaba said she looked "very conservative" out there! Sorry, because of the whole Tom DeLay thing, that just tickled me pink. It wasn't what she was talking about, but it amused me never-the-less. All the judges thought there was a lot of room for improvement with Sara.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 5
Len - 5
Bruno - 5
Total - 15
Despite the booing from the audience, this score was again quite fair.
Tucker "Dick" Carlson - I'll make you a deal, Carlson. You stop with the bowties, I'll stop bringing up "dick". His partner is new to the show, one Miss Elena Grinenko.
The first thing he did in the routine is ditch the tie. Uhhhh... That makes me feel bad now, because I have to be honest here. He was pretty bad. It didn't help that he spent half the dance sitting on a chair. Judges, you agree? Oh, they agree.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 5 (Really? You thought he was as good as Sara Evans?)
Len - 4
Bruno - 3
Total - 12
It really was pretty awful. Tucker Carlson is not a natural dancer. But at least of the lot so far he seemed to have been having the most fun.
Monique Coleman - As with every celebrity reality show, there are going to be people I've never heard of, and this young woman just happens to be one of them. She was apparently in something called High School Musical, but I've never seen it. However, her partner is the great Louis van Amstel! He's kept the shorter hair he got last season with Lisa Rinna, which is a shame because I enjoyed his ponytail. Oh well.
Very nice. Not a runaway favourite, but well executed. I've been watching enough of these now that I'm actually starting to see where technique lacks.
As usual at this point, the judges want to see more.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 6
Len - 6
Bruno - 7
Total - 19
So far that puts them in second place, and (copy and paste from previous comments) is a fair score.
Emmitt Smith - Oh, a football player. The athletes so far in the run of this show have been far from spectacular, with whatshisname from last year only making the final two on popularity alone (Stacy Keebler was robbed, which is one of my arguments in my ongoing stance against viewer voting). His partner is Cheryl Burke, who is the reigning champion from the professional dancers' side of the partnerships. However, if a football player is as good a dancer as Drew Lachey, her partner last year, I will be quite surprised.
Can I eat my words a little bit here? He's still no Drew Lachey, and he needs a lot of work, but this was the best first dance I've seen from any of the athletes who have ever competed on this show. I was wondering if the judges agree, and sure enough, they loved him.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 8
Len - 8
Bruno - 8
Total - 24
Wow! That high? He was good, but all 8s? I could see two 7s and an 8, but wow. The important thing now is to see how much of this is him exceeding expectations, and can he keep it up as the other stars grow?
Willa Ford - A pop singer, someone else I've never heard of. However, I have heard of her sexy partner, Maksim Chmerkovsky. Yes, I've heard of him last year. And I watched him last year. And he never returned my calls last year. And I lived in his backyard last year until he got the restraining order. He's handsome.
I liked this one! It didn't get the cheers Emmitt Smith's dance got, but so far it's my favourite of the night. Other than one comment by Len about footwork, the judges were all positive.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 7
Len - 7
Bruno - 8
Total - 22
Booooooooo! That was at least as good as Smith's! Show them next week, Willa. Grrrr.
Mario Lopez - I'd rather see Screech from Saved by the Bell, but Mario will do. And he'll probably do better, as he has dance experience of sorts, but damn, why couldn't Screech be on? That would be awesome! Anyway, Mario's partner is Karina Smirnoff, who, I believe, is new to the show.
It's funny how the dance of the night changes as the night goes on. I think we've just found the team to beat for the season. Damn, this was good. The judges loved it too, particularly Bruno who asked if Mario has extra batteries in his pants. Carrie Ann Inaba agrees that they are the couple to beat.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 9
Len - 8
Bruno - 9
Total - 26
Damned right!
Shanna Moakler - A third celeb I've never heard of, this one being a former Miss USA from 1992, and she was on a reality show I never watched. With my experience in Treasure Hunters become a fan of Team Miss USA, you'd think I'd be cheering for her right off the bad. No, because I like to mess with your expectations! You think I'll be cheering for someone in particular, but no! You think I'll be funny in my recaps, but no! Her partner is the first new male professional dancer added this season, Jesse DeSoto.
Very nice job, not breath-taking though. The judges do see room for improvement as well, though Len was quite disappointed.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 7
Len - 5
Bruno - 6
Total - 18
The greatest disparity in scores this evening since Tucker Carlson, but at least hers were higher and deservedly so. But with the viewers voting too, will it be enough to keep her in the game?
Harry Hamlin - The husband of one of the darlings of last season, Lisa Rinna. We saw him in the audience each week, now we get to see him try his hand at dancing. His partner is arguably one of the more popular of the professionals, Ashly DelGrosso. You know, the poor woman saddled with Master P last year? She's already happy that she has someone whose heart is into the whole thing this time around.
He's quite stiff, so he definitely needs to relax, but you can tell he worked at it and there is potential for improvement. The judges agree that he needs to loosen up.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 5
Len - 6
Bruno - 6
Total - 17
Not the worst, but quite reasonable for what we got.
Is it over yet? Yeesh, they have a lot of celebrities this season.
Vivica A. Fox - Remember after Independance Day when her career seemed to be on a rocketship to the stars? Yeah, so do I. She wants to show women over 40 that they can be sexy... Over 40? An actress in Hollywood? Ah. So that's what happened to her career. That sucks, and it's really not fair when actors over 40 are still considered sexy and bankable. But this is all ground that's been covered elsewhere.
Her partner is Nick Kosovich, who for some reason reminds me of a cross between Wayne Newton and Robert Goulet.
Maybe I'm spoiled by So You Think You Can Dance, or by Drew vs. Stacy last season. This was the most energetic of the fox trots, but like much of what we've seen so far has just been okay. I can't wait until later in the season when we start getting the really great performances.
The judges really liked it, even though Carrie Ann Inaba thought her technique needs some work.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 6
Len - 8
Bruno - 8
Total - 22
Quite a nice, solid score to start out with.
Jerry Springer! - JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! What? You're cheering against him? Oh no you didn't say that! Talk to the hand! Okay, it's on, beyotch! If anyone can make this show break out in fisticuffs, it's this guy. Maybe now we'll finally find out the truth about what goes on in the judges' chambers.
His partner is Kym Johnson, who is new to the American version of the show but is a former Australian Dancing With the Stars champion.
Every older male star who appears on this show has a lot to live up to with the incredible performances of John O'Hurley in season one. Jerry tended to live up more to George Hamilton from season two. He was certainly entertaining, but hopefully he'll improve once he gets over his nerves.
The judges got into an arguement over who loved whom the most, then got in a fight. Once security broke them up, they confessed that they too were entertained.
The scores...
Carrie Ann - 5
Len - 5
Bruno - 6
Total - 16
Criticize Jerry all you want, but he comes across here as funny, self-effacing, and very sweet. Just forget that he once paid for a prostitute with a cheque and vote for him, damn it.
Gosh darn it, it's nice to have this show back. So who's going home first? Mario Lopez should be safe, what with the highest score of the night. Will Tucker Carlson, who scored just 12, be the first to leave or will the fans decide to keep him around and see if he'll be back with another bowtie next week? What do you think, any favourites yet?