The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 4

On Survivor this season, I haven't been able to find anyone I want to cheer for. That is normally a bad thing, but at least there's nobody giving me a heart attack every week, Kandice and Dustin! You know I love their spirit, how they won't flinch at any of the challenges (Danielle!) and few people seem to have as much fun running this race as them. Their sense of direction, however, is truly horrifying. I get the sense though that it's more that they're not taking their time to make sure they're taking the right turn or looking for the signs they need to find.
It was a wrong turn that did them in last time. Don't be surprised to see it happen again if they don't win the race. If anyone can beat Rob and Amber. I know it's in them though. The Beauty Queens were the team who beat the Fast Forward last season!
Charla and Mirna. Huh. Their insanity and hypocrisy apparently knows no bounds. I love this team if for no other reason then that they're so freakin' crazy, and that makes for entertaining television! This leg their feud with Dustin and Kandice seems to have died down, and instead one started with Teri and Ian, particularly at an airport ticket counter. Teri and Ian (or Teran) were talking to the agent when Mirna butted in and asked him to help them, sparking off a big argument between the two teams. Mirna was clearly in the wrong here, but she and her cousin are so vastly morally superior to many of the other teams, so it didn't matter because their moral superiority automatically makes it right. I think. Hypocrisy is so confusing!
But dang it if they don't give us some great moments. They wanted to get a local man to show them directions, but he had to go to work. So they offered him $50 and dragged him to their car, and Teri and Ian said they would spit the money with them. Mirna said they'd better, and not screw them like the Beauty Queens did (who, for the record, made no such money-splitting deal). Once in the car and driving away, Charla welcomed this poor man into their scary world.
But it doesn't end there! Mirna picking up fish at the Road Block? Wonderfully nutty! Danielle's histrionics got all the attention, but Mirna was freaking out too. Whichever one of Team Guido, Joe or Bill, who did the Road Block didn't write down the full clue, something Mirna (foolishly) corrected them on, giving them the part they missed. She then spent the rest of the leg getting pissed off whenever the Guidos tried beating them to the pit stop. And then there was the Detour! After completing the white water rafting (during which Charla's face was priceless), they got to their car but couldn't find their keys. Figuring they must be at the tent they were changing in, Mirna started running back and she screamed at Charla to hurry up and come with her, because you know how important it is to have two people run back to a tent to fetch keys. And the local guy was still with them! With all the people racers have picked up and dropped off over the seasons, I wonder how many of them are still out there wandering lost, trying to get home. Nothing beats the woman who used one team (was it the Weavers in Family Edition?) to get a ride to work. That was fantastic.
Speaking of Teri and Ian, I never saw their original season, but this week I became a fan. No, it wasn't the argument with Mirna, as great as that was (and Ian calling for security was gold). No, it was when Teri went overboard on the whitewater raft. It gave us one of the best commercial cliffhangers ever on the show, even though we knew she'd survive (if anyone ever dies on a competitive reality show, there'd be massive controversy if the network decides to air it). But it was still nerve-wracking for the audience and very scary for Ian. She'd survive, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't get hurt badly enough to have to drop out of the race.
Aaaaand... She's safe! Holding on to the rope tied around the raft, Teri's head poked up no worse for wear! It turns out she actually enjoyed the experience and called it "a rush". That's when I became a fan.
Who I'm not a fan of this season is David and Mary. Well, Mary. David is too quiet to say anything to turn people against him. I don't know if we were supposed to feel sorry when she was crying about missing the Cho brothers this season, but these are all people who know that in the end, they are running the race for themselves, not some couple from Kentucky. She thought they were friends with Charla and Mirna, and she's still carrying a grudge that they had the audacity to pass them... in a race. She appreciates the chance to have this amazing experience twice, but I'm still not sure she's quite got a grip on what show she's on. Mary would fit in quite well with the Moto tribe on Survivor: Fiji, who are under the mistaken impression that they're spending 39 days at a luxury resort.
The tasks this week were fun. At the Road Block, one team member had to schlep some 80 flounders between one tank and another, and once done their clues were at the bottom of the tanks. This was how Team Guido missed part of their clue, the guy didn't write everything down. Danielle and Mirna both freaked over the fish, as mentioned earlier. This challenge even slowed down one of the stronger teams, Oswald and Danny, as Danny (I think, who pays attention to these things?) was having trouble with the sheer physicalness of the task.
The Detour, oh, the Detour. The choices were both team members climbing a forty foot cliff to get half the clue each, or taking a whitewater rafting trip to get the clue. Apparently one or two teams started trying the climbing, but this never aired so it likely didn't affect any rankings. All the teams wound up doing the rafting, which gave us moments like Teri's near-drowning and Charla's look of terror. The Beauty Queens had huge smiles on their faces doing this task, and why not? They somehow managed to move past several people!
Because they missed the Detour clue.
Damn.
This team is going to be the cause of a cardiac episode for me, just wait and see.
Kandice and Dustin missed the turn that would have taken them to the clue, because that's how they roll, but somehow managed to find the take off point for the whitewater rafting. The entire time they kept looking for the Detour clue, and at the end were surprised to find a clue that didn't have a Detour. Now normally this would be a mistake that would entail a lot of derision, but things have been shaken up in the race before, and this being the All-Star season, who knows what the producers might pull? And I like them, so I'm going to be biased. So there. Nyah.
When they arrived at the Pit Stop, Phil greeted them and let them know they arrived in fourth place, but... Oh, crap. What would happen? Time penalty? No. He couldn't check them in until they retrieved all the clues! Oh, crap! Not only did they have to go all the way back to find the clue, they were being presented with all new opportunities to get lost!
There was nothing they could do though but go back and retrieved the missing clue. How far behind were the rest of the teams? After driving back and forth who knows how many kilometres (I am Canadian, don't forget), they finally had all their clues and got back to the mat for Phil to officially pronounce them as the fourth place team. Whooooo!
David and Mary on the other hand finally ran out of luck. Without any teams willing to risk their own games to help the Kentuckians stay around, they finally came in last. It's just as well. Their naivety was charming last time around, but this time it wore thin and occasionally came across as a sense of entitlement. Now the real race can begin.
Oh yeah, Rob and Amber came in first yet again.