So You Think You Can Dance - Air Date July 20

Here's the thing - I screwed up. I wasn't home this past Thursday, so I had to make sure I recorded the shows I need to. Part of the problem is that in some ways I'm still way back in the 20th century and still record my programs on tape. The good news is that I set the VCR. The bad news is I forgot to put the tape in.
I was able to get ahold of a copy of Big Brother (and I was able to get screen shots from it, thus the image on the last recap), but not the So You Think You Can Dance results show.
I bungled it. So what now? I could just tell you who got eliminated, that wasn't too hard to find out. But that would be unfair to you, gentle reader. Instead I shall recap the official recap from Fox.com. It's the least I can do.
The writers of official recaps on official websites tend to be nameless automatons, but sometimes personality gets through. Last year's Big Brother coverage on CBS.com was nice and spicy, but nothing compared to So You Think You Can Dance on Fox!
We are greated upon reading this recap with a joyous "We're back kids!" Now I'm fully aware that I tend to overuse commas, but at least I do use them. What's a "back kid"? See! That's why commas are your friend! The writer, who shall now be called "Inky" (short for "Ink-stained wretch", a colloquialism for "reporter" or "journalist") on this page because we don't know his or her name, then talks about how this should be the most dramatic show yet due to how many dancers are left and how each elimination is just going to get harder and harder.
Inky is highly impressed by the opening routine, as would I have if I didn't mess up and recorded the damned thing. It's got an undead theme, which I'm sure meant they made Ivan dance ballroom. Apparently the costumes and makeup were just neato and the dance was just groovy. Boy, Inky sure likes to rub it in. Have you interviewed three Treasure Hunters and three Big Brother contestants, Inky? I didn't think so. Stop your crowing over having seen the dance and get writing. Tell me what Cat Deeley's wearing tonight.
Pfff. Inky can't even be bothered including that information. What kind of shoddy work is this? Inky does let us know that Cat announced it was another record-breaking show with over 8 million votes. Okay, that's fair. I never mention that. Why? Because it's not my job to sell how well the show is doing!
Yeah, I'm bitter. I would have liked to have seen that opening number.
If there was any filler here, we'll never know as Inky gets right to the announcing of the bottom two women. Here's where I wonder if Inky even watches the show, or if there's more than one Inky, as he or she says, "Uncharacteristically the girls are up first." The girls are always up first! That's why we always hear that "You're a beautiful girl, a beautiful girl" song before the "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" they play for the guys. Okay, they don't play that song, but I can't remember how it goes just now.
Oh, it just occurred to me that there may be some confusion. I'm thinking of at the end when they are actually cut. I wonder if Inky means when the couples had been called down to find out who is in the bottom three. That would make more sense. I apologize, Inky.
He or she then gets extra spunky and predicts it might be Martha and Allison as the bottom two. Martha is an easy guess, but who the other one is a lot more difficult. And Inky is right on Martha, but wrong on Allison as the other bottom female is Natalie! I hope you didn't have money riding on that, Inky. If you did, and won, I'd have suspected you might be Nigel Lythgoe. Are you Nigel, Inky?
Next up are the men, and Inky guesses it may be Ivan and Ryan. That's a good guess, but I would have had a hard time betting between Ivan or Dmitry. Sure, Dmitry gets everyone all fluttery, but he has been in the bottom three a lot. Forsooth! It is Ryan and Dmitry!
The bottom four then have to perform their solos because, ummmm... It's not like it's going to mean anything.
Martha - Inky thinks it's the same dance she did the night before, but without the face-obliterating hat. He or she isn't particularly moved by the performance, saying Martha is a better dancer than she's showing here.
Ryan - Ryan definitely has da skillz, but Inky thinks he's missing that certain spark that just can't be taught.
Natalie - Now Inky knows that each of these solos is the same as performed the previous night and understands it as the dancers don't have the time to come up with a new one overnight, and it's not like they have to impress the judges anymore.
Dmitry - Inky is impressed that Dmitry managed to keep his shirt on this time.
Even though the judges don't have to deliberate, there's still an hour to fill so there is a musical guest, one Chris Brown. Inky is really impressed by him and his backup dancers. I probably still wouldn't have known who Chris Brown is even if I heard the song. A visit to his website shows me why I haven't heard of him, because I'm not big on R&B, not that he doesn't have a nice voice. But when are they going to have the Glenn Miller Orchestra on, dadgummit?
We're down the final paragraph. Oh my, does Inky like to keep it short and to the point or what? He or she talks about the dramatic tension, then just blurts out that Martha and Dmitry are eliminated! Inky is sure Martha saw it coming based on her reaction, but is shocked about the Russian Torso's ouster. I like his or her line where he or she says, "There must have been a sale at the mall because the Russian chest-barer didn’t cut it last night." Ha! Good one, Inky! Inky then gives us a nice little goodbye and that signs off.
Overall this was a good recap. Not up to the quality or length that TVgasm gives us (complete with screenshots!), but definitely a threat to the shoddy amateurism of Realivision.
I've got my eye on you, Inky. If I miss another episode, I don't know if we'll turn out to be the best of friends or the worst of enemies.