Last Comic Standing - Air Date July 25

With one person going home and four comics performing, this could be a short recap. So what I'm going to do is watch the show, and whenever something strikes me or it's an appropriate time I'm going to pause and come here and type for you, my lovemuffins.
Something I've been avoiding is making fun of anybody's appearance. After all, I spend years in that carnival sideshow and now I hide my grotesque visage from the the light of day, so I'm not one to talk. But what's with host Anthony Clark's face? I don't know if it's the makeup and lighting or what, but it's like he's wearing a mask of human skin. Not just a mask of human skin, but a poorly fitting mask of human skin.
I'm sorry, but it's been eating away at me, which probably isn't the best phrase to use after talking about masks of human skin.
Gotta run, Gary Gulman from seasons 2 and 3 is coming up!
Meh. That was humourous with a couple of laugh out loud moments, but not as good as I was hoping. I did however notice that this is a well-spoken, handsome man. Wasn't he available for the hosting gig, Anthony "Hannibal" Clark?
After introducing the final five, Mr. Clark went to stand between Ty Barnett and Michele Balan. Ty would be safe, but Michele had to hang around. He then went to Josh Blue and Chris Porter, both of whom are staying. That brought it down to Michele and Roz, and the audience voted out of fear for the health of their television speakers. Roz would be going home, and Michele couldn't look more shocked.
There was a nice little video homage to Roz, and Sir Anthony of Clarksville had a little chat with her, and Roz really appreciates this experience. She really does seem like a very nice person. Podcasts of her performances may be downloaded at www.whythehellamIpipingthisrightintomyearsowowOUCH.com.
The first competitive comic performing is Michele Balan, and in her pre-performance video she said she was surprised by how many people were in the audience earlier. "Whoa! Am I a Rolling Stone?" It may not have been funny, but she went with the right age group. She then said if she's voted as the Last Comic Standing she just might have a heart attack. I like her, but I think she's safe from any winning-induced coronary episodes.
Not a bad set. It was better than the one she did last week. She also thanked Canada as well as the U.S. for voting for her, so that earns her Realipoints just right there. There were some airline jokes, a comedic staple (and it's true too, how many survivors of crashed airplanes do you hear of being found using their seat as a flotation device), some age jokes. This was okay.
You could tell she is used to leaving the stage right away, because Lord Anthony Clarksterton had to call her back for going over the number to call to vote for her.
Josh Blue was funny in his pre-perforance video. If he gets voted out, he'll know the show is rigged. If he wins the competition, he'll crap his pants. With joy. It is my job as a Professional Entertainment Journalist to report on that line.
Now this is the Josh I was waiting for! Much better than last week! His set centered mainly around his playing on the U.S. Paralympic soccer team and cerebral palsy, but it was funny stuff. For the second week in a row he through in jokes harkening back to earlier episodes in the season, showing he's unafraid to throw new stuff in.
There was one little area in the audience that wasn't laughing, but then I saw why. Stella was in the crowd! She sucks the funny out of everything!
Ty Barnett's pre-performance video was there. He was nervous performing in front of a huge crowd last week, but it calmed him when he got a standing ovation.
Damn, he was funny! Ty, you're winning me over, man. That was a very good set. I am very tired right now, and he was good enough to keep me awake.
The final comedian was Chris Porter, who didn't know America loves him but now he does. He's also thinking of moving on and seeing other people. Like, oh, Canada? Michele mentioned us! Now do up some more buttons on your shirt, Chris. You're not Fabio.
He was very good in his set. What more is there to say? He's going to win this thing.
Before closing the show, His Royal Clarkness, King Anthony showed who was currently in the bottom two, and Michele and Chris showed up. He said they tried this last week and only half the country saw it, so if there were no names it meant that they screwed it up again. Nice comment, and one of his funniest moments. It would have been nicer if he didn't start stumbling over his words after that.
Next week it's the final three and a special performance by Caroline Rhea, plus we get to see how Anthony Clark chooses his victims and takes their faces.
I can't wait!