Interview with Tonny Brown from NBC's Treasure Hunters

Of all the teams on NBC's Treasure Hunters, one of the more memorable and controversial was Team Brown Family. Realivision is pleased to have been able to have Tonny Brown take some time to answer a few questions for us and bring us up to date on his brother Keith's injury.

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Hello, Tonny! First I have to say I love the nickname. Could you tell us a little about yourself?

I am probably the least interesting person you will ever write about. But here goes. Tonny is not a nickname if that is what you are referring to. It’s spelled this way on my driver’s license. I have been married for 13 years to my lovely wife Terri. We have no children but we have 2 dogs that we love very much. I enjoy writing and am currently working on several book projects one of which I hope to have published via Tate Publishing later this year. We also have a comic book that will be available this year and a host of other things. Just stay tuned!

How did you come to find yourself on Treasure Hunters?

My brother Keith is always full of ideas. He came across the casting call for Treasure Hunters and then called me and said he was making the drive from Florida to Texas attend and wanted to know if I would join him. I said yes. We originally asked our cousin Garth Ray to join us and he did the initial interview. He could not continue so we asked our brother Terrance to join us and the rest is history as they say.

How have show nights been around the Brown households?

My wife and usually watched the show alone. I get calls from friends and family on show nights. Everyone is asking me what is going to happen. They ask me do I like this team or that team. Its maddening.

It's been brought up on the show that Keith didn't start to learn to swim until three weeks before starting the hunt. Did you do anything personally to prepare yourself?

I started working out and running 5 miles a day. I still do. I lost about 30 pounds and am still losing. I feel great!

Speaking of Keith, are you able to tell us how badly his leg was injured, and how he's doing now?

He tore his quadricep. He still healing but is doing fine.

Some of the most heart-tugging moments have been him coming face-to-face with his fear of drowning and then overcoming that fear to keep going. Since the game has he done any more swimming or boating?

Keith used to say that one day he wanted to buy a house near the water. Since the game he has been looking for desert property (I’m joking!). He still wants to learn to swim but he is in no hurry.

There have been a couple of controversies surrounding Team Brown, both of them surrounding decisions of the producers, not your own actions. The first of these was when Team Grad Students had to withdraw due to injury and so it was decided to have your team go back into the hunt despite having just been eliminated (which, by the way, I thought was the right move because it kept the season and the hung balanced). The Wild Hanlons didn't like the decision and it led to a confrontation between the two teams, as well as a great moment between yourself and Josh Hanlon on the lighthouse. Have you talked to the Hanlons since the show and have things smoothed over?

We all keep in contact as much as we can via e-mail. The relationship between Pat Hanlon and me is still a bit rocky. As to whether it will ever improve is more up to him than me. He still has a problem with what happened. It’s almost like he thinks if the Grads had stayed they would not have went home at the lighthouse. In my opinion, they would were going home regardless. The Hanlons were no match for the Grads, of this I am sure. I would also bet that they would still be in the game right now.

The other controversy was after Keith's injury. Many people felt it was unfair that you and Terrance were allowed to continue in the hunt after the Grad Students had withdrawn due to Jessica's injury. What are your thoughts on this situation?

During this part of the hunt the option was given to every team to leave a player behind. That option was not offered at the river. This option was scheduled to go into play at the plantation not before. There were several hours that passed between Keith getting hurt and we being given our 6 hour penalty, all being told we had to wait closer to 11 hours before we could resume the hunt.
Controversies will always exist especially if it is because something didn’t go your way. If you take a moment to reflect back on the game you will see that we rarely received help from other teams and we were rarely in groups. We mostly had to fend for ourselves. The Air Force and The Geniuses were great helps to us. But I will leave that for another time.

Early in the game the most controversial team to arise had been the Fogals, though they really changed their style later on. I've heard that outside the game they are wonderful people, so did it surprise you when you first discovered some of the moves they made, and how did it make you feel about your own gameplay?

The Hunt is the Hunt and the Game is the Game. There were things that happened during this game that were just too unreal. It did bring out a kind of desperation to do whatever it took to continue. But we believed that there is nothing under heaven that one should consider of more value than one’s own integrity and commitment to always do what is right. It is a moral stand that we choose to live by rather than preach about. That is all I will say about that.

There is a surprising amount of cooperation amongst some of the teams considering it's a competition, some more than others. How do you think has affected the game?

It changed the face of the game. There are some teams that were able to advance solely because of this fact. I won’t mention any names. They know who they are and if you have been watching you should know who they are as well.

If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently?

I would trust my gut more. There were a lot of times (more than I care to remember actually) where my gut told me one thing and I actually did another only to regret it later. If I had listened to my gut we would not have lost round two and there would be no controversy concerning this.

Do you feel closer to your brothers as a result of your Treasure Hunters experience?

My brothers and I have lived through one of the most traumatic things siblings can live through and that was the loss of our mother as children. She succumbed to cancer when we were kids. Subsequently we have been able to forge a bond through the years that is pretty amazing when you think about it. Whatever we do we do it together.

What did you learn about yourself from the hunt?

I will answer this by using a famous quote from Robert Downing when he asks - "Are there not, dear Michal,
Two points in the adventure of the diver,—
One, when a beggar he prepares to plunge;
One, when a prince he rises with his pearl?
Festus, I plunge."
Paracelsus. Part i.

What have you been up to since the show?

Working on my children’s book and our cartoon/comic book. I have also been working with a cousin of ours, Joseph Brown, on several music projects. He came up with our theme song. I’ll send it to you later. I think you’ll like it.

Would you ever consider doing another competitive reality show?

It would largely depend on if it were a team endeavor or solo. I have no aversions to physical activities; I just prefer the cerebral contest.

Can you tell us a little about your website, www.teambrownlive.com?

Teambrownlive.com is about to explode! We so many different projects we are working on it is impossible to list them all here. This is a way for us to keep focused and in touch with those that believe in what we are doing. We are very interested in helping others and that is exactly what we would like to use our 15 minutes for. I would just like to mention Trisha Curtis, a co-worker of mine at Bank of America. Her son passed away from leukemia. Please visit www.BDCFoundation.com for more info. We are also serious about contributing to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Do you have a favorite team left in the hunt?

Yes!

Favorite movie?

The Bourne Identity

Favorite book?

This one because I wrote it - Adventures of Jack and Sidney Episode of "The Gold Coin". This is the first in a series of books with these characters. Be sure to pay attention to the order of the names. The book will be told from the stand-point of the character whose name appears first. This episode will be told from Jack’s point of view.

Favorite airline?

The one that gets me there safely!

Thank you very much for your time, Tonny, and best wishes for whatever life brings you!

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Treasure Hunters airs Mondays on NBC in the United States and Global in Canada.

Big Brother: All-Stars - Air Date July 27

We've just seen the best episode of the season, so this one has a lot to live up to. Will it succeed? Will it entertain? Will it be a good thing that I'm passing up Godzilla Vs. Mothra on tv right now?
It's live eviction night, and that's always made better by the presence of Julie Chen. She's not as funny and spontaneous as Treasure Hunters' Laird Macintosh, some may say, but fie on them! Don't make me get Shakespearean on your butts!
At the end of Tuesday's show, we thought we had seen the last of the speeches, but as we now know, we were far from the truth. After George adjourned the Veto meeting, Jase had something to say. Without the flair and wit of a Dr. Will, Jase said he too doesn't like anyone there. He may like them for a minute, but after the show, he's not going to send anyone a Christmas card. He then said this game isn't meant for him, he is really made to be cast in Survivor. I'd so love to see that. He could be like the Professor in Gilligan's Island and make a flat iron out of two rocks and some bamboo! And you know how he would wear the buff! Come on, it was made to be a mandana! Other than that, it was a stupid speech. Will obviously doesn't want to go home, but Jase comes across as really wanting out of the game.
n one of the bedrooms, the Brain asked Pinky to chill and just ensure that he gets enough votes to stay. Narf! In the Diary Room, he admits that his strategy is to make people think he wants to go home, that way they're not worried about him. Dr. Will, you are such a scamp!
Boogie in the Diary Room - please get rid of the headbands, you're not Bjorn Borg - said that Will is his best friend, they are the original Chill Town, and the Brain is going to fight like a Chill Town warrior! Narf? No. Gag.
In the back yard, George is talking to Jase, asking him if he really wants to leave and trying to talk him into fighting to stay. Jase tells us in the Diary Room that his reasons for staying are ironically his same reasons for leaving – his girls back home. While that's sweet, I still think we need to get this man a cowboy hat. Back to the conversation, Jase asked George that if he wanted to stay, would he have his vote? George, who was eating, licked his fingers a few times and loudly, but then said that Jase said inside that he didn't want to, so he would like him to think about it. It wasn't really an answer, but it makes sense. Why vote against the house when the person you're voting in favour of doesn't even want to stay?
George does think Jase would be a better person to align with than Will, and yes, he would be. He would be a better person than everyone who isn't SeaSick or Pinky and the Brain to align with. If they vote to keep Jase in, that breaks up Chill Town and sends a message to BB6 that it's not all about what they want. It would also keep someone in the house who would be going after BB6 with a vengeance and so should they win Head of Household again tonight, they have a much bigger target to go after than any of them.
You've been watching this season. Do you really think it will go down like that?
Mood lightening time! Look! It's Janelle and Erika having a bubble bath! Silliness then ensued as they invited Boogie to get in with them! NARF! He was happy to oblige, then said it's good for his “street credit”. Calling it “street credit” can't be good for his street cred though. Pinky, get over it! You're not hip-hop! Put on a nice shirt and some Dockers and keep it real, homes! Word.
He's still playing the game though and asks them if they'd rather keep Will around who doesn't give a crap rather than Jase who wants to crucify them.
In the Big-Ass Bed room, Jase is talking to Marcellas and saying he has one game left to play. Marcellas says to him that he is making a decision to behave badly, and Jase replies that he's going to go out with a bang. That's one way to do it. Personally, I'd try to rally the votes to stay in but what do I know? I've never been on the show and he's an All-Star. Marcellas tries to get him to calm down and play smarter, as well as not terrorize the house, but Jase doesn't want to hear it so he gets pissed off and leaves.
On the hammock, Jase is talking to Danielle and Diane asking how many votes one needs to stay. It's nine people voting, so he needs five. He said if he has those two and Chicken George... But he needs two more. They say he needs Season Six votes. He wouldn't if he wasn't going around getting all pissy at Marcellas and if he convinces Erika, and that would be so much easier than trying to break through with SeaSick. Why do these people have to keep making this so much harder than it has to be?
Look, Jase, get Marcellas, Erika, George, Danielle, and Diane all together. Let them know that if they vote Will out, you will fight tooth and nail for HoH and do your damnedest to break up Season Six. If you don't succeed, you'll be their next target anyway!
He goes to the HoH room to strike a deal with SeaSick instead, and the deal seems to be that if none of them will go after each other until sequester. If he gets the next HoH, he puts up a “floater”. They then shake hands on it.
Going downstairs after this, Will is telling people to say to Season Six that he is coming for them. Jase sits down and tells them about the deal he just made, shocking Danielle who wishes he never made that deal. I hear you, Danielle.
A little Realivision trivia for you – I keep messing up when typing Danielle and Diane and typing the other's name, especially with Danielle's. How many times I've started writing “Diane” by mistake, I don't know.
We're back to the live show now! That means Julie checks in with the House Guests!
The first thing she brings up is the still freshly-shorn locks of George and Kaysar, and she asks Marcellas what he thinks of Kaysar's new look. He replies that unbelievably he's even more gorgeous without hair.
When asked about giving up a chance to play for the Veto, Kaysar said he had no regrets.
Julie then asked Will about his veto speech when he said he hates them all. He said everyone's treating him about the same, and that he puts himself in that category as well because he hates himself too. Hey! I'm a self-loather! Can we get together some day?
She then asks George how the Slop is treating him, and he says it's not so good. He has a serious case of gas and is wearing the “Mr. Fart” t-shirt to prove it.
Boogie doesn't get left out as his sleep talking is brought up, and a video is shown. “Narf narf narf NARF NARF narf narf!” When asked what he's saying, he replies that it's just hello to his friends and family in his own special way.
Going into commercial, we hear what the House Guests have to say about the two nominees.
Danielle likes Jase and wants to keep him around, but when he went upstairs and made a deal with all four of them it defeats the purpose.
Kaysar says he can keep up with Will's game, he understands Will's game, he can beat Will's game. I then have to pause the show for a few minutes to unroll my eyes, they are so far back in my head. He would keep Jase because of his caring side, and that caring side shows Kaysar that he can trust him more than he can trust Will.
Boogie loves Jase, but he LOVES Will. Smooch smooch smooch! Chill Town has got to go to battle, those Chill Town warriors!
Back from commercial we're going to have a look at George. Julie says that Jase believes Chicken George doesn't cut it as an All-Star, but this father of three is one of the most original personalities to ever play the game. Some see him as an odd-ball, and after the Veto competition some now see him as a major threat.
There were some flashbacks to earlier in the season, and some first impressions from the contestants. Howie was worried for the old guy, Boogie thought he was a minnow amongst sharks.
George admits he doesn't fit in, and he doesn't care if his outfits (see the foil suit from last week) don't get him anywhere. He just does it because he enjoys it. There is more stuff, including that he quit his job to do All-Stars. It's better than having regrets.
Marcellas said that George's Veto speech was one of the best moments of the season and that it really inspired him (I can't wait to ask after the game if he still thinks Big Brother 1 should never have been represented), those are the reasons why they should be there.
We then see George asking if he could come in to the HoH room, and James says of course. He then tells George that if he ever makes him tear up at a nomination speech again (well, it was a Veto speech actually) he will kick his ass.
James said he was wrong about George. He though he was there just to sit back and collect a cheque at the end. George said if you're not honoured to be there... Jase finished by saying you will walk away from competitions. My eyes are starting to roll again! You can walk away from competitions as legitimate strategy!
Kaysar joined in and said, “And do you know why I'm bald? Because I wanted to see what this Chicken is all about right here.” Oh gawd, will somebody please get me a shovel, it's getting deep in here! The reason Kaysar is bald is so their “strategy” wouldn't go awry!
In the DR Kaysar said that in the competition George did an exceptional job considering that people thought he was just going to be a “lump on the log and not do anything.” He stepped up and showed that he was going to earn his keep.
Back in the HoH room he told George that he has earned their respect. James said he proved in that moment that he wanted this more than anybody else. In his DR, James said he thought that George was going to be someone who was going to hide in the shadows, but he has shown that he will do whatever it takes to stay there.
What a sweet moment. The Big Brother Gods have now deemed George worthy. My eyes! My eyes! My ack! I'm gagging now! There was something so arrogant there it was just too much to handle. I'm glad we've got James and Kaysar around to tell us who belongs in the Big Brother house. From now on I want everyone who ever walks through that door to play exactly the same game because that wouldn't be boring at all!
It's rubbing off on George though who in the DR says that if you're not there to play the game, you really don't deserve to be there. I do agree with those words exactly as spoken, but probably not with the same sentiment. You really should be there to play the game, but how you play it is up to you, not James and Kaysar.
Cutting back to the live show, Julie is ready to talk to the current HoH, James. There was some chit chat, some explanation of moves made, a cheap suit jacket. I've said it before, I'll say it again – Blah blah blah blah. Oh! What are his feelings on Chicken George now? He drove James nuts at first, but he's shown he has more heart than anyone there. So now he thinks George is incredible and told him he would kinda keep him under his wing for as long as he can. He now likes George and respects him, and if he can put up with the Slop for that long...
There is then talk about the two groups James has made plans with on going to the final four, and which one is he more loyal to. Because he can't really trust Pinky and the Brain, he's more loyal to SeaSick.
Going back to commercial now...
Howie isn't directly threatened by “little Willie”. He wants to keep Jase because he would be another number for the Sovs, and they would be five instead of four.
Diane thinks Jase has more of a fight to be there, but if he stays there the bullseye on her back just gets brighter and brighter.
Marcellas says that Jase wants to be a man and say that he has integrity, but if you're going to throw things around you're not showing much integrity.
After the commercial the spotlight is on Dr. Will. More yadayada, some stuff from his younger brother and clips from Season Two, and an interview with Shannon, his ex-girlfriend that he met on BB2. That relationship apparently lasted a few years, but ended when they couldn't decide who was more orange. Really, she was very orange but still said something about Will's fake tan, that he looked like an Oompa Loompa. At least Will's washed off, Jacqueline O'Lantern! To be fair, the background made it look like the lighting could have been largely to blame. She actually seemed quite nice, far from the woman who cleaned a toilet with Hardy's toothbrush back in BB2. One thing to come out of all of this is that apparently Will is very shy and quiet outside of the house.
But now I want to get back to the meat of the show.
The live eviction is after the commercial break.
George thinks Will and Jase both deserve to be in the house equally. He's really confused and at this point doesn't know what to do with his vote, which means he'll likely go with the majority.
Janelle thinks getting rid of Will and breaking up Chill Town is a good thing. It might be safer for her to get rid of Jase, because even if he gets rid of a “floater” next week, what about the week after that?
Erika feels keeping Jase in the house will come around and bite her in the ass.
It seems pretty obvious right now who is likely to go home. If you notice, they didn't even show anyone voting so it'll likely be unanimous. If that's the case, it's even more obvious who will be leaving. Damn, don't do anything to surprise us, House Guests!
After the break, it's time to talk to the two nominees.
Jase says they're all collectively crazy, and crazy people make poor decisions like wearing a “Mr. Fart” t-shirt on national television. He hates the way he's leaving the house, it kills him inside, and he wants Danielle and Diane to be the only ones to walk him to the door. His voice started quavering near the end there.
Will apologized for saying he hates them all, he regrets it. It's more that he severely dislikes them, a strong disdain if you will. He then plugged Coast Dermatology where he works.
By a vote of 9-0, Jase is evicted from the Big Brother house. And to think, he could have really shaken things up the first week by not agreeing on nominees with Janelle and thus going on the block together. It may have been risky, but what a much better way to go!
There are handshakes and hugs, but the only two to walk him to the door are Diane and Danielle. And Howie. Nice respecting of his wishes there. But then I guess he can be shown as much respect as he shows others. That's fair.
After Jase left, Will says that he left early and he didn't deserve it. Gotta love the guilt trips he's been laying on after evictions!
In the interview with Julie, Jase said that getting backdoored again sucks and he's a “true player of the game”, which is a phrase I'd now like to see officially banned. I'd also like to point out to him that it's not like this was planned from the start, something that is required for a true backdooring. He just got unlucky that the true target got the veto and the pawn was stuck on the block. He then brought up Survivor again, saying that if he wins his team food and such it's seen as a positive. It's true you can't get backdoored as such, but I'd also like to point out to Jase that strong players are also targeted in Survivor. Depending on your tribe it could happen before the merge or after, but it will happen. But he just wants the buff, thinking it would be the ultimate mandana.
More talk, more talk, if I thought he had issues with Nakomis, then I dread seeing what happens if he ever gets back in the house with James. More talk, more talk, I really don't have the time and energy for this. Fast forward to the videos...
Boogie considers them friends and is looking forward to kicking it with him, narf. Howie rambled on about trust. Marcellas talked about the Jase that he knows who is cool and mellow, then there was the Jase who is over the top and dramatic who he didn't like so much. That video got the biggest reaction from Jase who rolled his eyes almost as much as I did earlier. Yeesh, it looks like he has issues with Marcellas now too. Diane likes and respects him contrary to everything that has happened in their past. Janelle was sorry they couldn't take his deal, it was just too risky for them as a group even though they shook hands on it. Danielle tried her best and hopes Jase can forgive her, voting against him wasn't an easy decision.
Jase's final thought is that he hopes he gets to go hang around a beach for a couple of weeks and then come back. He's going to be sorely disappointed as the evictees have not been in sequester. Alison has posted on her blog and I've been in contact with Nakomis.
Personally though, I'd love to see an evictee who hasn't been in sequester go back into the house! Ooooh, the path of destruction they could spread! They could tell the truth, they could spread lies, or they could keep the lack of sequester to his or herself! I know this would never happen, but damn it would be great.
There is an America's Vote this week (as opposed to America's Choice). Big Brother will be playing wakeup calls to the House Guests quite frequently. The choices are every three hours, every hour, every half hour, or ever fifteen minutes. There will be no online voting for this, to vote you must text. With a slap in the face to Canadian fans, this is only open to U.S. residents. BOOOOOO, CBS! BOOOOOOOOOOO!
For a change we don't have the same cubicles for the HoH competition, instead it's all open. Julie is going to ask a question based on the word definitions painted on the walls in the house and the first person to ring in gets to answer. If they answer correctly, they get to remove someone from the competition. If they answer incorrectly, they themselves are out, and they can not eliminate themselves (unless they use the loophole of answering incorrectly, producers who didn't think this all the way through before sticking that rule in). This kicks off a week of competitions where they singlehandedly could be responsible for the fate of their housemates.
I'm not going to bother with the questions and answers, just who buzzes in and the result. Why? Because I'm lazy, okay?
Marcellas rings in first and eliminates Boogie, showing which side he has chosen and it saddens me.
Kaysar rings in next and eliminates Diane, a decent choice but it isn't Will.
Will rings in and eliminates Howie, a bizarre choice as Janelle or Kaysar should be the ones he gets rid of first.
Will rings in again and gets it wrong, he is out.
Erika is the next to ring in, and she makes the remarkably daring choice of eliminating George. Holy crap woman, can you try to play any safer? I'm sick of all this “floater” crap, but I want to see you gone if for no other reason than this overwhelmingly annoying safe choice.
Kaysar then rings in for the second time and eliminates Erika, showing her just how great a decision she just made.
Janelle rings in and eliminates Danielle.
Oh crap. Marcellas has to get two in a row or SeaSick will have the HoH yet again. And you know what? I'm not sure I want to see him get it yet anyway because I don't think he would use it to break up the Season Six alliance.
Marcellas does get the next one right, and after much pondering eliminates Kaysar.
On the final question, Janelle rings in and gets it right, making her once more the Head of Household.
Damn.
One of the reasons the recaps have been so late this week is because after Season Six won their fourth HoH in a row, I completely lost interest in the show. If it wasn't for Realivision and AfterElton, I'm not sure I'd bother watching again this season. It's not just the sheer boredom of watching SeaSick dominate the HoH, but after this particular competition it's like the other House Guests are intent on handing the game over to them. If Marcellas knocked out James, Will took out Kaysar, and Erika took out Janelle, we'd be seeing our first non-BB6 run HoH (the shared one with Jase doesn't count because he just did what they wanted anyway).
Really, I'm finding this all just very tedious. I'll wait and see what happens next, but if Season Six wins it again next week any additional coverage is going to take a huge effort. I know there are a lot of people who love the BB6 alliance, but come on, only the most ardent fans could be enjoying this.
Who should Janelle nominate? Will and Boogie. Will she? Of course not, because the alliance will talk her into going after the “floaters”, and those floaters just handed themselves over for eviction through their fearful play, so maybe they deserve to go after all.

Big Brother: All-Stars - Air Date July 25

Something scary happened during this broadcast. There was the usual recapping of the previous episode with clips and such, the opening credits started rolling, and then snow. After a short while there was "Attention - Please stand by for the satellite signal. Thank You [sic] for your patience." What patience? I've got people depending on me, bubba! I don't have time for environmental issues taking time for the show!
Thankfully it didn't last long though and came back on as the flashback to the nomination ceremony was just ending.
Just in time to hear James spew a bunch of crap. He nominated Chicken George because by nominating him, it forces the other floaters to pick a side. I really want to try to keep this PG, so lets just say BULLCRAP! It doesn't force the floaters to do friggin' anything! Quite the opposite, in fact. What it does is give the floaters an easy target so they don't have to pick a side.
I feel a rant coming on...
Really, annoyingly bad reasoning like this is starting to grate on me. If you want to force the floaters to pick a side, you nominate someone from Chill Town and someone from Season Six. That would be stupid though, because they just might choose a side against you and there goes someone from your alliance.
This is what pissed me off last year with Kaysar when he was going after James instead of the Friendship. Floaters can be used. What you need to do is go against the people who are direct threats to you and want you gone. The Friendship did go after James, but not before getting Kaysar out of the house first. Say what you want about them and the negativity they brought into the game, they stuck together and cleared everyone who was a threat to them whenever they had a chance. Yes, I'm daring to say it. I was a huge Sov6 fan during BB6, but in the end the Friendship played a better (if nastier) game. It's possible to not like someone and still give them props (and to also change your mind, because I'm a big fan of Ivette now thanks to the way she took all the negative backlash - taking it as well as she dished it out (and before writing to me, please keep in mind that she and Janelle get on quite well these days, thank you very much)).
I'd also like to know where all this venom James has towards floaters comes from, considering the level of floating he did himself last season. James, I gave you a bunch of votes to get back into the house this year because I like your ability to play a smart weasel's game. Please don't start getting high and mighty against that very style of gameplay that you admitting you were doing for last season.
Okay, rant over.
James then said he nominated Dr. Will because he can potentially play the perfect pawn role as he doesn't care if he goes home. Nominating Will as a pawn?
The only reasonable explanation for all these truly horrible moves we've been seeing is that there are a lot of secret alliances going into the house. I have to believe that in order to continue accepting these as smart people.
George called Dr. Will the master of the game, and to go up against him doesn't give him good odds.
There is more of Howie trying to hug Will, which is getting as tiring as "boobies" now, then Will's Diary Room where he said he loves getting nominated. He's in the forefront of everyone's thoughts, he gets to compete in everything for the week, and he likes being the underdog.
In the kitchen everyone's trying to feed more bull to George that it's early now and he might not be going, but he's not as stupid as some people think. He knows his time is up unless through some miracle he gets the Veto.
George made a crack about it must have been his strategic playing that got him on the block, and James started getting nasty saying that if he's not strategic and is a bad player, should they just let him get through to the end? Should they just give him the cheque? "It's all about playing the game, George."
George then told him to chill, James is the one copping the 'tude but George is the one who got nominated.
In the DR, George talked about how James and he just don't mesh, and he doesn't know why. I suspect it's James buying into the "great player of the game" stuff he's been told, from myself included, a little too much. I still like the guy and he's the one from BB6 I'd like to see go furthest, but this arrogance in regards to the game is wearing thin.
I haven't been funny much yet, have I?
James and Howie walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks what they'd like. Howie shouts, "BOOBIES!"
I still haven't been funny much yet, have I?
How about a fun little observation?
Engaged to a woman with a child? Check.
Loves that child as his own? Check.
Playing for that woman and child? Check.
Acts as a messenger boy for the "cool" alliance? Check.
Jase has turned into Cowboy.
All he needs to do now is climb into a bathtub with Will and call him "Daddy".
Back to the show, there's a little Pinky and the Brain moment where they comment on how George looks like a completely different person after the nomination. The Brain said that if he wins the Veto he might just take George off the block - then take over the world! Pinky doesn't like that idea and ideally would like to see the Brain's nomination Vetoed. Narf!
Danielle is out there with them, she seems to have become part of this alliance, and Boogie talks about how they have this nice guy who cleans for everyone up against the evil winner of Season 2, and they're all shocked at how the plan is to keep the evil winner around. I know!
Boogie has being saying stuff in the house that hasn't aired, but puts him down around Howie's level in my esteem. His one saving grace though is that he's still great in the Diary Room, and I loved how he talked about in what sick, twisted universe is Will the pawn how he finds that a little "quizzical".
Danielle in her DR said she wishes neither of these people were on the block, but if the vote were right then she would have to vote to evict George. That makes sense, as Will is the stronger person to be in an alliance with. It is nice as well that people are liking George instead of making him a pariah. With James hating on him as much as he is, the Chickenman needs those friendships.
Up in the Head of Household room, Jase was talking to James and kissing ass, saying how the reason he didn't come up the day before was to not kiss ass. The talk back and forth between them was so arrogant and full of testosterone I found myself starting to choke. "Oooooooh, the floaters sicken me!" "Aaaaaah, that's not how to play All-Stars!" "Eeeeeeeee, I'm full of myself!" "Uuuuuuuuuuuh, my manhood is huge!" Shut up! IIIIIIII'm tired of hearing this! They then made a deal to not backdoor each other and compete head-to-head later on in the game after clearing out the floaters and shook hands on it.
After all this gameplay talk, the mood needs to be lightened a lot and the windows opened to clear the air after that last bit of nonsense, so we go to Marcellas who has a bit of a crush on every man in the house except for George. Even Howie, Marc? Even Boogie? His biggest crush though is on Kaysar. It even got a little (lot) gross when he talked about how the "Iraqi Peach" sat beside him and had a bit of a stench, and how he'd try to catch that musky smell, sniff it deeply in, and keep that pungeant odour forever. The smell was apparently better than banana cupcakes. In case you're wondering, that's not a gay thing. I've been to gay bars and nobody was standing around snorting on each other. The music was great though! There are already enough GLBT myths out there, let's nip this one in the bud.
There is some great talk with him to Janelle and Erika about how he's falling in love with Kaysar, and while his body isn't the greatest it's the kind of body he'd just love to toss around. As if there aren't going to be enough people sending off outraged letters to CBS, he then wishes Kaysar was gay so they could marry and Marcellas could be happy for the rest of his life. I love it! Marcellas, if that ever happens come up to Canada and marry him here while it's still legal!
Later, Erika and Marcellas are talking about who should go, and Marcellas said it should be George. If he had the capacity to step and win something, then he could be a member of the alliance, but he has to be able to win something. Erika then said there's a lot more going on with him than he's letting on. Marcellas feels Pinky and the Brain still need to stay in the game as a buffer against SeaSick, but this could also be their chance to get rid of Will.
Speaking of Will, he thinks he's getting a good sleep when all of a sudden "8 Mile" breaks out in the bedroom, and we see Jase doing a freestyle rap. 8 Mile? More like 8 Centimetre! Ha! My wit is back, watch out world!
Jase then asked the other to go wake up "Chicken Floors" to come do a rap. Huh? "Floors"? It turns out George is sleeping on the floor. At first glance this might seem to be highly bizarre behaviour, but take into account the age and physical shape of the man and the logical conclusion is that he likely has some back problems. I really hope that's why he was sleeping on the floor.
So they wake him up. "They say something about a rap song? But... I'm sleepin'" He is a very good sport about it though and goes to join in with the fun.
"They call me Chicken George I'm a Big Brother All-Star!
I got voted off in week number three, but that's okay with me 'cause the doctor's got the beat!
There we go, no mo'!"
But they don't let him off so easily and prompt him to keep going.
"James threw me out but I don't care. He'll get his chance, maybe you can wear his underwear.
I hope it's quick 'cause he's a real ______,
I hope you take him off, 'cause he's kind of a ________!"
Go, George! I love this fire in him, and he had the room in hysterics! While we here at Realivision try to keep it PG, we're not primetime CBS, so let's fill in those blanks. My best guess is "dick" and "prick". But come on, CBS. Anyone who's going to be offended by those words already turned their televisions off in outrage over a gay man being shown to have sexual feelings.
After this we get a bit on Jase, his hair, and the look he gets at the mirror, his "mirror face" that his mother asked him not to make. Danielle is highly amused by Jase's hair and the amount of work he puts into it. I'm surprised she doesn't comment on the mandana! How can you talk about Jase and his hair and not bring up the mandana? I'm highly offended by this! The only mention she gives is when she talks about how he arranges his bangs just so over his "headgear". IT'S A MANDANA, LADY!
We're then whisked off to the kitchen where it's just George and Howie, and George is talking about how it's his last stand, he's going home. Howie told him he needs that Power of Veto. In the DR Howie said he can't let his personal feelings get in the way this year (really? Nakomis might think differently) but he loves George.
The conversation gets really sweet, and I say that without any sarcasm, when George gives Howie a little boost telling him to go for the money and that he's really rooting for him. He warns Howie to watch who is friends are, and to not let anyone tell him he can't do it, leaving Howie speechless for a moment before he talks about the apprentice teaching the master. George then warns him about "the snake", who of course is James. If George gets his miracle, this Jedi Alliance may be one to watch out for.
This quiet, softer Howie is very likeable. If he'd stop talking about boobies and "banging" women all the time, he'd be so much sweeter. But it's important to remember how he talked about Nakomis. If he apologizes sincerely to her, that would make a difference, but for now I just can't bring myself to like him again.
Now it's Power of Veto time, and something is different. Instead of the Wheel O' House Guests, James has a bag. He, Will, and George will each pull a ball out of the bag. The balls with either have a name, or the phrase "House Guest's Choice" meaning that the person can then choose anyone to play for the Veto.
James picked Kaysar.
Will picked House Guest's Choice, so he picked Boogie to play. Narf!
George picked Jase.
This doesn't look good for George at all.
They went outside and there were things covered up with sheets, something Diane points out is never a good sign in the Big Brother house.
The competition this time is about making choices. There are going to be progressively harder tasks as the game goes on. In front of the players are lecturns and inside each one there is a green cube and a red ball. If the players decide to do the task, they pull out the green cube. If not, it's the red ball.
First up is "Sloppy Surprise" where they have to eat a bowl of Big Brother Slop, and everyone goes for it. I don't know how bad this slop is, Danielle called it "Satan's oatmeal", but Will pulled out his red ball, he couldn't do it. Kaysar was the first to finish. Boogie started wretching on the stuff and left the game. James finished his, as did Jase, leaving George who wasn't looking so good but managed to get it down.
Next was "Shirt Off Your Back", in which the contestants had to take off their shirt and pants and throw them into a barrel full of fire. Not just any fire, but flaming hot fire! Okay, I guess that is any fire. All the contestants pulled their green cubes, making Marcellas stand up and cheer when it came time for Kaysar.
Following this was "Sign Me Up". This meant the contestants had to let the other House Guests come and write on their bodies with markers. Really? Who's going to say no to that? Something was written on George's chest that had to be blurred out, but come on! Remember? The people who would be bothered by it have already stopped watching!
"Human Blueberry". For this task, they contestants had to get into a bathtub full of blueberries. I love blueberries! Don't waste them like this! They do stain though, and that's the point for this. With a flash to the DR, Jase said this is Big Brother: All-Stars, there is nothing he wouldn't do. We'll just see about that.
All the players competed in this one. James said that George looked like Fat-Ass Smurf, Kaysar was Iraqi Smurf, Jase was Vanity Smurf, and he was Skinny Anorexic Smurf. What, none of them looked like Violet Beauregarde? They were all pretty blue, just not as blue as whoever would end up going home on eviction night.
Then it gets kicked up a notch. BAM! "No Veto For You"! To complete this task, the players would have to choose to sit out next week's Veto competition. Awesome! James as HoH this week can't compete for HoH next week, so not having the Veto would be very risky for him. Too risky, so he pulled the red ball. Jase can compete for HoH if he's there next week, but there's no guarantee so he'd like to have that option to play for the Veto, so he too pulls the red ball. Kaysar must feel awfully confident about the next HoH, because he pulled the green cube, as did George who had nothing to lose.
We then get to the top of the board, and it's "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow." The contestants must have their heads shaven.
George whispered to Kaysar to cut him some slack and he'll remember it. Kaysar must have felt that it doesn't matter, because he pulled out the green cube, as did the Chickenman.
This upset Marcellas who said that it doesn't matter what happens with George's head, but beautiful Kaysar doesn't know what he's going to look like without hair.
Howie shaved George's head and told him this will make him a Jedi soldier.
Marcellas told Kaysar he can still change his mind any nobody would think badly of him. But they had to win the Veto, so he sat down on the chair and Marcellas shaved away, more upset about this than Kaysar was. Hey, after the hairstyle last Thursday this can only be better.
They've both completed all the tasks, so it's time for a tie-breaker. There are sixty days left in the house (oh gawd, I'm not going to get any sleep for another two months). How many consecutive days would they be willing to go on Slop to win this veto competition? Kaysar didn't need the plan to stay on track bad enough it seems, as he wrote down 15 days, whereas George wrote down 60 and won the Power of Veto. Yay, George! A lot of people claimed this was rigged for George, but nobody made Kaysar write down "15".
The look of rage in James' face was something to behold! "It is what it is," he said in the Diary Room. He is not a happy camper. Unlike George, who is happy as heck. Finally, things are going to get mixed up!
Back from commercial, James goes into the HoH room to wash the blueberry and markers off, and he is pissed! Everything he was working for is down the drain. Hee hee! That's what the Veto is for! Remember, the thing you used to thwart plans so often last season?
Then he turns into a whiny brat it the DR, and he can't even look at the camera as he says, "Hopefully this backfires in the house and there's even more hatred of George than's already there. Someone else will take him out." Oh suck it up, man! I'm really trying my best to stay a fan of this guy and continue liking him, but damn, this is making it hard. And really, why the absolute hatred of George? It's really mindboggling. I really suspect he's projecting feelings left over from last season onto this one man.
Of course someone else needs to go up now, and SeaSick discusses who needs to go up. He thinks it should be Boogie, but the others feel strongly it should be Jase. This doesn't go down well with James who thinks back to the understanding the two of them came to about competition and he sees this as kind of like a backdooring.
Kaysar goes to talk to Jase, and told him he will be going up. Jase doesn't understand why they wouldn't put Boogie up, and Kaysar says it's because everyone would keep him and vote out Will, and SeaSick wants to keep Will around. These people are hurting my brain. It doesn't make sense to Jase because those two are a tighter alliance than he is, and they will pull something shady. I agree, Jase.
Jase then plays it as smartly as possible and goes outside and has a fit in front of everyone, throwing things and glowering.
He then says, "James, you of all people I didn't think would take the bitch route." I have to give it to James, he did well at keeping his cool while Jase went at him, even though his arguments were wavering between good and crap. He then brought up Marcellas, saying he's not so good at going back and forth, which brought Marc into it too and he doesn't keep his cool, resulting in the best fight of the season. Jase is trying to put all the attention on Marcellas, bringing up how he hangs around in the HoH room then comes down and says Season Six needs to be broken up, and to Marcellas' credit he says "Everyone knows Season Six needs to be broken up!" This went back and forth for a while and was very enjoyable.
Jase brought up how they would have the numbers to vote out Marcellas, who responded with how obvious it was that he was trying to throw him under the bus. This ended with Marcellas saying, "Now I see why everyone in Season Five hated you."
At the Veto ceremony, things continued to stay interesting. Dr. Will gave a wonderful speech about how he hates everyone in the house, and he hates them all equally. He then asked to be removed by everyone in the house. If they keep him around, he will throw every competition, PoV, HoH, and food. George is on Slop, and he will do the best he can to ensure they are all on Slop.
George then gave a beautiful speech about how honoured he is to be in the All-Star house with all of them, and he really wants to play the game. They've been given a second chance, and how many people get that chance in life (other than Kaysar)? How anyone can hate him after this speech, I don't know, but it was great.
He then chose to use the Power of Veto on himself. To nobody's suprise, James replaced his nomination with Jase.
In the final DR words, George never thought that using the Veto on himself would cause so much controvery. Will said he made the target on his back so giant that it's invisible. James said that Jase shot himself in the foot. Jase feels like he was backdoored. He then called himself a "true competitor of the game" (again, I didn't quote him when he said this earlier), and he will try his best to stay in the game.
We finally got ourselves an episode worthy of the name "All-Stars"! This was the best of the season, and possible one of the best Big Brother episodes ever!
Thank you for winning the Veto, George, you brought life to the game!

Last Comic Standing - Air Date July 25

With one person going home and four comics performing, this could be a short recap. So what I'm going to do is watch the show, and whenever something strikes me or it's an appropriate time I'm going to pause and come here and type for you, my lovemuffins.
Something I've been avoiding is making fun of anybody's appearance. After all, I spend years in that carnival sideshow and now I hide my grotesque visage from the the light of day, so I'm not one to talk. But what's with host Anthony Clark's face? I don't know if it's the makeup and lighting or what, but it's like he's wearing a mask of human skin. Not just a mask of human skin, but a poorly fitting mask of human skin.
I'm sorry, but it's been eating away at me, which probably isn't the best phrase to use after talking about masks of human skin.
Gotta run, Gary Gulman from seasons 2 and 3 is coming up!
Meh. That was humourous with a couple of laugh out loud moments, but not as good as I was hoping. I did however notice that this is a well-spoken, handsome man. Wasn't he available for the hosting gig, Anthony "Hannibal" Clark?
After introducing the final five, Mr. Clark went to stand between Ty Barnett and Michele Balan. Ty would be safe, but Michele had to hang around. He then went to Josh Blue and Chris Porter, both of whom are staying. That brought it down to Michele and Roz, and the audience voted out of fear for the health of their television speakers. Roz would be going home, and Michele couldn't look more shocked.
There was a nice little video homage to Roz, and Sir Anthony of Clarksville had a little chat with her, and Roz really appreciates this experience. She really does seem like a very nice person. Podcasts of her performances may be downloaded at www.whythehellamIpipingthisrightintomyearsowowOUCH.com.
The first competitive comic performing is Michele Balan, and in her pre-performance video she said she was surprised by how many people were in the audience earlier. "Whoa! Am I a Rolling Stone?" It may not have been funny, but she went with the right age group. She then said if she's voted as the Last Comic Standing she just might have a heart attack. I like her, but I think she's safe from any winning-induced coronary episodes.
Not a bad set. It was better than the one she did last week. She also thanked Canada as well as the U.S. for voting for her, so that earns her Realipoints just right there. There were some airline jokes, a comedic staple (and it's true too, how many survivors of crashed airplanes do you hear of being found using their seat as a flotation device), some age jokes. This was okay.
You could tell she is used to leaving the stage right away, because Lord Anthony Clarksterton had to call her back for going over the number to call to vote for her.
Josh Blue was funny in his pre-perforance video. If he gets voted out, he'll know the show is rigged. If he wins the competition, he'll crap his pants. With joy. It is my job as a Professional Entertainment Journalist to report on that line.
Now this is the Josh I was waiting for! Much better than last week! His set centered mainly around his playing on the U.S. Paralympic soccer team and cerebral palsy, but it was funny stuff. For the second week in a row he through in jokes harkening back to earlier episodes in the season, showing he's unafraid to throw new stuff in.
There was one little area in the audience that wasn't laughing, but then I saw why. Stella was in the crowd! She sucks the funny out of everything!
Ty Barnett's pre-performance video was there. He was nervous performing in front of a huge crowd last week, but it calmed him when he got a standing ovation.
Damn, he was funny! Ty, you're winning me over, man. That was a very good set. I am very tired right now, and he was good enough to keep me awake.
The final comedian was Chris Porter, who didn't know America loves him but now he does. He's also thinking of moving on and seeing other people. Like, oh, Canada? Michele mentioned us! Now do up some more buttons on your shirt, Chris. You're not Fabio.
He was very good in his set. What more is there to say? He's going to win this thing.
Before closing the show, His Royal Clarkness, King Anthony showed who was currently in the bottom two, and Michele and Chris showed up. He said they tried this last week and only half the country saw it, so if there were no names it meant that they screwed it up again. Nice comment, and one of his funniest moments. It would have been nicer if he didn't start stumbling over his words after that.
Next week it's the final three and a special performance by Caroline Rhea, plus we get to see how Anthony Clark chooses his victims and takes their faces.
I can't wait!

Treasure Hunters - Air Date July 24

I don't know what I'm going to do when Treasure Hunters ends. Is there any way to get Laird to send me sporadic video messages? Best not to think of it yet. Not where there are still more artifacts to uncover, and an identity to discover.
At the Magnolia hall Bed & Breakfast in Georgia, the teams are seen packing and examining the death masks they discovered last week. This is unusual, because we've never seen artifacts get this much air time in previous episodes. In an interview segment, Kristen of Team Miss USA even talks about it. Now call me crazy, but I think these masks might come into play somehow on this leg of the hunt.
One thing that's driving me nuts is when Margie Fogal asked Brad Fogal who he thinks the mask looks like, he replied, "Uncle Louie?" Damn it. Now I must know what Uncle Louie looks like! The Fogal parents had been so well behaved lately, then Pa Fogal has to go get this enigma stuck in my head! Uncle Louie, where are you? I need to see your face!
Speaking of missing, where are the late night Motorola messages? The sun is shining bright when Uncle Lairdie calls with the next clue, darn it.
To find the next artifact, the teams must uncover and decode the secret correspondence of America's first spy, and the man behind the death mask will lead them to it. One hint - At no point did the first spy use "ROFLMAO!" in his correspondence. Their search begins in Paris, France. I love this show, but this is one of those areas that can be tweaked. How much more exciting would this have been if the teams uncovered a clue that lead them to Paris? Once there, the teams would have to take the Metro to the city's historic Catacombs to find their next clue.
Here's something a little extra - The Eiffel Tower, live on webcam.
This trip was very exciting to Genius Charles, who was positively giddy trying to imagine what Dungeons & Dragons would be like in The City of Lights. Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek, was made to plug Orbitz.com as the Miss USAs used their provided Visa card to book their flights. Even the Fogals seemed happy, but I'm sure Kayte was just waiting to cry that she doesn't WANT TO EAT SNAILS! WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY HELP HER? DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND SHE'S HURTING?
Genius Francis had never left the country before, despite the obvious evidence of his very British muttonchops, and is looking forward to the long, tedious flight. I just bet he is, the scamp!
Once in Paris, the teams started searching maps, guidebooks, hobos, anything they could to find out where the Catacombs were located. John Southie said something, but my heart was too busy fluttering to really catch it. It was either about how Professional Entertainment Journalists are treated right in Boston, or he was comparing his hometown subway system to the Metro.
Staring deep into my heart, he talked about how the teams were split. On one end of the train were the Southies, Miss USAs, and Ex-CIAs, and on the other end were the Fogals, Air Force, and Geniuses. Having my favourite teams together made me happy, but if anything were to happen...
Over on the other other end of the train, Kayte Fogal started talking to a couple of girls who lived in Paris, and they were helping the teams on that end find their location. This pleased the Geniuses who planned on staying close. That, and maybe the French girls would kiss them. Oh la la!
The SouthUSACIAs didn't have any locals lending aid, but found the Catacombs on their map and knew where to get off the train.
Hold on. Three stops from where they thought they had to get off, the FogaGeniuForce got out of the train! One of the Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Male Variants said that the girls were going to take them to where they needed to go, which seemed like a fine idea as their internal GPS units were on the fritz.
There was much confusion, but the SouthUSACIAs stayed on the train. I have to admit, I started getting a little nervous here.
Kayte said, "They're silly if they don't follow us."
Genius Charles, in his best geek inflection (seriously, it's not like I'm not well-versed in all things geeky, so if you have this on tape go to this spot and listen - that is a very geeky inflection in his voice, one dripping with intellectual superiority), said, "I have a hard time understanding why we wouldn't follow somebody who actually knows the area."
Martin Southie knows that this is going to be a huge turning point in the hunt.
Kayte is talking to the young women, pleasantly surprised that the others aren't following, and Charles said, "The statistics at this point are definitely in our favour." He then took out a portable DVD player, popped in an episode of Star Trek, and started screaming how Spock's quarters were supposed to be on the other side of the corridor.
Kayte threw in one more "That was silly of them not to follow" just to remind Charles that if Kayte thinks something is a good idea, he and his team are in deep doodoo.
Sure enough, the Miss USAs, Southies, and Ex-Spooks get off at their stop and land almost right on top of the entrance to the Catacombs.
If you watch The Simpsons, you know who Nelson is. His famous "Ha ha!" is playing through my head right now.
A phone rings, and the three leading teams get an electronic Lairdogram. The man behind the mask waits for them next to a golden laced bridge somewhere in Paris. To find their next clue, they would each have to send one member of their team into what some call The Empire of the Dead. Here's the most delightful thing about the Catacombs - the collected remains of some six million Parisians are stored there, and I'm talking miles and miles of human bones with plenty of skulls to keep you company. The remains are organized by year of death indicated by markers in tunnels that go on for miles. They had to find the tunnel housing the remains from 1789, the year that the man in the mask created the modern day French national flag.
Going down into the tunnel would be John Southie, Miss Melissa, and Double-0 Jacob (who is licensed to thrill, baby).
To see so many human remains so meticulously arranged was disturbing, fascinating, creepy, cool and sad all at the same time.
Back in the surface world, the other teams are walking and wandering, coming to the dread realization that their guides have no idea where they're at. When the guides have to stop and ask for directions, things aren't going well. Then suddenly the two girls had to leave. It's not like they were on a hunt for treasure, but they will forever be treasures in my eyes.
Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Female Variant did the calculations and realized that the other teams had a significant lead on them. Someone had forgotten to program into their code that one important equation: When Kayte Fogal thinks something is right, do the opposite.
Down amongst the dearly departed, Melissa spotted the plaque they were searching for. "The HERO OF TWO WORLDS
Awaits upon the RIGHT BANK of the SEINE
sword raised
A friend to America
A friend to Washington
Face him to find your fate"
One interesting thing downstairs and up is that everyone seemed to be perplexed by what the Geniuses had done. The other two teams leaving didn't bother them, but the Geniuses? (According to Melissa's insider coverage at the Team Miss USA forums, the Geniuses were part of their overall alliance, so that helps explain why everyone was wondering about them.)
Here's where editing can mess with you, because after the first three teams left the Catacombs, we saw the next three arriving. With however long it took to search for the clue, you never know if it was a near miss or hours of seperation.
Brad Fogal, Genius Charles, and Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Male Variant - Version 1 all went down into the Catacombs. Dark tunnels full of human remains? Oh how I miss the evil Brad and the evil Chuck! The horrifying prose just writes itself!
Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Male Variant Version 1's temperature sensors are functioning at normal parameters as he notices how much colder it is when he goes down into the Catacombs. He wants to walk as fast as his servo-mechanisms will allow, but he doesn't want his ocular sensors to miss anything.
Brad Fogal talked about how much he walked down there.
Genius Charles said he's not someone who gets scared very easily (except in gym class), but this is something different down there and he wished he brought his Cloak of Concealment and Sword of Undead Slaying with him.
Sure enough Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Male Variant - Version 1 finds the plaque first. I know I go on a lot about the Southies, particularly John, and Laird on these pages, but let me tell you. When they made Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Male Variant - Version 1, they used the good mould for his face (this is the model designated "Matt Z."). The Air Force artisan who created that visage can be very pleased with him or herself.
After getting directions and hopping the Metro, the top three teams discussed what the clue means and the Southies are positive it's a statue. In an interview, Matthew Southie talked about how the Southie Boys sell themselves short. "We know things but are just too scared to say it 'cause we think other people are smarter than us." The unfortunate mining incident aside, they've been doing well, are likely right about a statue, and something else where I won't spoil what's to come.
Underground again, Charles is the next to find the plaque, and I see something that totally escaped my notice the first time I watched this through. It's normal for all the tunnels the players have gone through to be totally deserted, but when Chuck gets to the clue, there are two people just standing there. Were they tourists? Catacomb employees? Producers? Nerd fetishists? I must know! Between this and Uncle Louie, there are entirely too many mysteries this episode!
Whatever the case, they were gone by the time Pa Fogal arrived and got the clue.
Either they got good directions or good editing, but the top three teams are now seen approaching the bridge with golden lace, and they spot a statue of a man with sword.
Upon arriving at it, the teams got a MotorLairda message. He told them they found the statue of Lafayette, the man behind the mask. They are seeking his American contact, one of the most important founding fathers. Lafayette has left them a clue, they must face him to find their fate.
On a pillar in front of the statue is a replica of the masks that they had been carrying with them with one big difference, this one was broken in two. They examined this mask and found a cavity inside, making them wonder if they have to break theirs.
This is unnerving, to say the least. What if they break their mask and it's a horrible, horrible mistake? The only ones with the guts to try it are the Miss USAs. For shame, Southies and Spooks! In the broken mask, wrapped in cloth, was a big coin and on one side it said, "DOVER CASTLE THE ARROW POINTS THE WAY," and the other side had a picture of a boat. As Double-0 Mark (licensed to grill) pointed out, Dover Castle is in England. Geeze. Not even an overnight stay in Paris?
This is the fourth of seven artifacts, and apparently the ship engraved on the other side might mean something, as Laird asks in his next message, "...but what ship?" Normally one team would be eliminated here, but the hunt continues. They must search for Lafayette's contact, America's first spy.
As those three teams head for their next location, we are drawn back to the Geniuses and Fogals. Margie Fogal said that Air Force headed out and knew where they were going.
Except that they didn't know where they were going, and we got to see the little graphic that said...
AIR FORCE
Lost
Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Female Variant said that they were programmed to be in such a hurry they forgot to scan for their coordinates.
They stopped and plugged themselves into a network. Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Male Variant - Version 2 said this was the lowest point they had found themselves at in the entire hunt.
A quick glimpse at the frontrunners getting ready to hop on a ferry, and Double-0 Mark (licensed to grill) said they were all feeling tired, but at the same time excited to have their lead.
FOGAL FAMILY
Lost
Hoooo boy! That's two teams so far!
They're looking for the bridge, one of the "tons" of bridges according to Kayte, who suddenly gets excited. "Oh my gosh, look behind you!" Her parents turned to see the Eiffel Tower.
GENIUSES
Not Lost
Okay, it didn't say that, but they were the first of the three to find the statue, and were able to leave before the others arrived.
As they were leaving, they said they had just "Fogaled the Fogals!" Er, not quite. Getting to a clue first isn't exactly "Fogaling" someone. Stealing a clue out of their hands? That's a Fogaling.
The Fogals did find a statue, but it was the wrong one. Same with the Air Force.
Then the Fogals found the right statue. While Kayte was trying to convince her father not to break open the mask, the Air Force arrived. The Fogals did break their mask open first, shocking Kayte when she discovered that was the right thing to do. Robot Squad didn't take too long to crack theirs open too.
The Ex-CIAs, Miss USAs, and Southies arrived in Dover, England.
They entered Dover Castle as the sun was going down, giving the whole scene a beautiful orange glow.
Now for the big problem. The castle is huge. Or as Donald Trump might say, "This castle is 'UGE! It's the finest castle in the world and fine castles are a 30 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY! I am going to buy this fine property and make Trump Castle the most extravagant casino resort in the world!"
Anyway, they looked and looked and didn't find anything.
The Geniuses then arrive.
On the ferry, the Fogals and Air Force were talking and decided to help each other, though Air Force Mechanized Contestabot: Female Variant wasn't sure if they could trust the Fogals after what they heard from the other teams, and how the Fogals were hogging all the WD40.
Back to the castle again, the first three teams were up on the roof when Matthew Southie noticed a giant arrow shape. He stood by the idea, but Double-0 Jacob (licensed to thrill) was particularly against it, and so the teams looked around inside a little longer.
Now the Fogals and Air Force arrived. To cover more space, the two teams then split up. After all, without puny humans holding them back, the Air Force team could really get zipping.
The first three teams decided to try out Matthew's arrow, and sure enough they found the next clue with the Southies in first place, the Miss USAs in second, and the Ex-Spooks third. I guess the editing wasn't as free as we've seen in the past, as Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek, suggested they look at the clues fast before the others saw them there.
What they found were tubes with big pieces of paper in them with a little writing, mostly blank though, and another Motorola message from home care of The Lairdfather.
They must now find the identify of this spy and the location where he developed the methods of decoding methods.
On the back of the paper was "Samuel Palmer Printing Press London", so they whipped out their notebooks and went to Not Google to find out where that might be. One of the Miss USA (there is a fan obscuring the view right now) brought up that Lafayette's America partner was Benjamin Franklin, and that was without using the computer. Ha, doubters!
Double-O Todd (licensed to chill) did some research and found out Franklin used to do some work on a printing press in the back of an old church, so off they go!
The other teams still searched around the castle without much luck, the frustration bringing about a small argument between Geniuses Charles and Francis.
Then the unimaginable happened. Kayte Fogal found the giant arrow shape. They called the Air Force over who were sitting down and conserving atomic battery power and took them over to find the clue. No Fogals, now is when you take off the gloves. When it matters.
The Geniuses however managed to find the clues outside without going up on the roof.
At the church the teams would have to blah blah blah next artifact, one team would be going home.
This is taking a while, as we get the little clock in the corner again and at 2 hours 57 minutes the first three teams were still searching. They new the papers they got at the castle would come into it, but they didn't know how. 3 hours 34 minutes go by, they're still looking.
Now you're not going to believe this, but I worked it out pretty quickly. Of course without the pressure of competition it probably came easier. I was a bit of a science geek when I was a wee lass, and one of the cooler things was making invisible ink out of lemon juice, writing on paper, then holding that paper above a heat source to make it appear (usually a light bulb). That's how I figured with all these candles that is what may be the case here.
At 4 hours and 19 minutes, Double-0 Todd (licensed to chill) noticed the candles and thought about using them, and anothing seemed to happening until... Oh, look, a picture!
It turned out to be a map of the church with Xs in various parts. Yup, that was it!
The Miss USAs were the first to find the next artifact, a key, followed by Ex-CIA and the Southies. Yes! Both my favourites plus a nother team I like are moving on! And that's what's important, that we be able to make this all about me.
The Fogals and Air Force are next to arrive, with the Geniuses arriving next. They were all looking around.
Air Force tried using the candles, but not enough so they kept looking.
Genius Francis was the next to discover the invisible picture, but they kept moving around and hiding candles so that the other two teams couldn't see what they were doing. In the end, they got the next artifact, meaning the Fogals or Air Force would be leaving the hunt.
It seemed close there, but the last team to find an artifact was Team Air Force, meaning the Fogals were eliminated. How could they take my Kayte away like that?
So the Fogals are gone. Back when they were playing a dirtier game, I called it "stupid dirty" because they were screwing their reputation and turning people against them early in the game for what? Second place in one leg of the hunt.
Now they played "stupid nice". It was great to see their nice side, but they should never have made that deal with Team Air Force in the first place even if it did seem like it would have helped them more at the time. If the Fogals left the castle without telling the Air Force about the clue, they'd still be in the game and the hunt is the game and you should be playing to win.

Big Brother: All-Stars - Air Date July 23

James is the new Head of Household. Good for him. Now maybe we'll see some real nominations. If not, then maybe we'll get to see ourselves an orange man. That would be awesome!
But first we have to see the fallout over Nakomis leaving. In the Diary Room, Diane isn't please and vows to fight on. That would be particularly impressive if she does it wearing leather and wielding a chakram!
Boogie really liked Nakomis and was sorry to see her go, but on the other hand Diane is still there in the house and he's hoping he didn't pack his Viagra for nothing.
We got to see many shots of Jase just sitting on the couch while Dr. Will tries to lay on a guilt trip.
Jase admitted that Nakomis was gone and didn't make the jury so he saw no reason to kiss her ass. Or act like a decent human being. In the livingroom Erika asked him if he's okay, and he said that Nakomis was the one who six-fingered him out the door. I ask you, what's the All-Star house without bitterness? I'm trying hard to like him this season, there are times his humanity comes through, but urgh.
Unlike the last 8-2 vote, there didn't seem to be anyone left twisting in the wind. Dr. Will knows he was one of the two who voted against Diane, but who is the other one? It must be driving him crazy not to know, no matter what his suspicions are and he does suspect it was probably someone from Season Six.
We know Janelle was the other one. Aren't we special? There seem to be cracks forming in the SeaSick alliance, and the phrasing in her DR was interesting when she said that the rest of Season Six "voted with the rest of the herd." Was that a subtle Nerd Herd reference? Probably not, but I love thinking it may have been.
When Janelle came into the house, I have to be honest with you, I was kind of over her. Okay, I was very over her. Or at least I was over the deification of her that occurs all over the internet. Everytime she opened her mouth she drove me a little nuts, but when she said she had to keep her word to Nakomis, she started winning me over again. I still don't want to see her win, and her friendship with my favourite, Marcellas, is a threat to him, but now I can once more like her.
Furthering the precarious position this alliance is in, James says he's doing what's best for him and Howie, not for Janelle and Kaysar. He thought Nakomis was too scary as a player and Diane makes him feel safe, like he's tucked up snuggly in Dick Cheney's lap being read the latest bedtime story from Ann Coulter.
Howie felt threatened by Nakomis, much as he does around any woman who doesn't giggle at his tired material and thinly veiled misogyny.

From: readermcreadingpants@realivisionreader.com
To: tabbylavalamp@suckingthefunout.com
Date: 7/24/2006 9:01 PM
-------------------------------------------
Dear Tabby,
That comment about Howie wasn't funny or lighthearted! This viciousness saddens me. What's up with that?
Yours truly,
A reader


From: tabbylavalamp@suckingthefunout.com
To: readermcreadingpants@realivisionreader.com
Date: 7/24/2006 9:38 PM
-------------------------------------------
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your feedback. Howie's "ugly" crack is still sticking in my craw, and I'm tired and cranky. If I didn't find Will's discomfort amusing, it may well have been getting worse for him on these pages. Now go watch Treasure Hunters tonight and be prepared for my hilarious recap tomorrow!
Yours sincerely,
Tabby

It's not escaping people's notice that this is the third week of Season Six controlling the HoH room. There is something special here too. The Veto King had never won HoH before, so this is the first time for him.
This is getting to be quite impressive for firsts, actually.
James - had never been Head of Household his season.
Alison - had never been evicted her season.
Diane and Danielle - had never been nominated in their years.
Pinky and the Brain can't agree whether or not James is going to nominated them. Dr. Will is sure he will, Boogie not so much. I don't know who he thinks he'll go after, especially after he brings up that James wasn't pleased with Kaysar's nominations.
Uh oh! It's that zany George again! What goofy weird crap is he up to now? He... He's CLEANING! Oh my gawd, he's such a freak! Let's laugh at the man with the vacuum cleaner! HE'S COOKING TOO! WTF!!! Who let this disaster in??!?! At least Boogie appreciates it (by the way, no matter what I think of Pinky's adolescent dress sense or his infatuation with Diane, he's been pretty darned good and for the most part nice in the Diary Room).
Ah, there's the twist. He cleans and cooks, but at the same time he is listening to what's going on. James and Janelle were talking in the storage room, and when they came out, they caught George eavesdropping. Bad George. At least he admitted in the DR that he does listen. Hey, who doesn't?
When it's time to see James' HoH room, everyone went in and saw his HoH room. Until they start giving each new Head of Household a different Pez dispenser, I'm going to fail to be impressed. Marcellas likes that it changes every week. The room is all done in red, and I'm left wondering if that's a "Red State" reference.
After everyone else leaves, there is a little SeaSick moment where they show that they might be getting a wee bit arrogant. "We're running this house right now!" Yeah, until the first HoH that none of you wins. I am starting to wonder though if there's anyone in the house who would put them up. This streak of HoH wins might intimidate people. I really hope not, or it'll start to be a boring season.
Howie then amazes me by actually showing he's thinking of the game and said that they have to start taking out their most powerful threats. James is then concerned about making sure there is still a target left in the house after this week. Guys, it doesn't matter. You're the biggest targets no matter what you do. I never thought I'd say this, but listen to Howie! He was right last week and Kaysar didn't listen. Will James listen this week?
Hmmm. Janelle no longer trusts Jase. Smart, and I'm wondering when she changed her mind on him.
What's this? They're talking about putting up Chicken George? WHY? Kaysar explains that if you take out George, you force the floaters to take a stand. Really now, what the hell is this. Isn't that what you tried to do last week? Or something like that. I still don't get your nominations, Kaysar. Just put up your biggest threats. Stop trying to be all cute with your nominations. They're not there to gather information, they're there to get people out of the house so you can win the friggin' game!
These people are driving me nuts. At least James talks about putting Will up, but his reason sucks. To find out if he's serious about the stuff he says? No, you put him up because he's dangerous!
They end with a mass bumping of the fists and an oath of "Final Four". This early in the game? My desire to see them broken up is now official.
The game talk does have to be broken up, so now we get to see Pinky put his sporting goods clothes to good use by working out. It seems like he'd like to use his time in the house to get in shape. Narf!
Alright already. I alluded to it earlier, I'll come out and say it now. Despite his age-inappropriate clothing style and voting based on his crush on Diane, I'm actually finding myself liking Boogie this season! I KNOW! First it was Alison, now Mike "Boogie"? I won't stop comparing him to a cartoon mouse because it does amuse me so, but darn it, he gives good Diary Room.
Will spends a lot of time complaining and saying he's bored, but come on, who really buys it? He's messing with you, House Guests! He even admits it in the Diary Room, but the HGs can't see that. They should know better though.
Going into the HoH room, Dr. Will suggests to James that he should put up him and Chicken George. James' only concern about this what if Will ends up leaving. Um, shouldn't his concern be Will staying? Maybe there are alliances and then there are alliances. George would still be a poor choice for HoH right now unless you are straddling two alliances and want to put up someone nobody would really miss.
James isn't stupid and he knows that out of the four Season Sixers, he's the first one that'll be kicked to the curb and he wants to keep his options open. Hmmm. Maybe George might be a decent choice to nominate. The only problem is that even up against Chill Town James will be the first one gone. Keep George, do an alliance with him. Except James is really liking the idea of an alliance with Pinky and the Brain, Danielle, and himself.
By the way, if you haven't read my coverage of So You Think You Can Dance, there was a dancer on the show with the same name as James, except he spelled it "Jaymz". I made fun of that, and would never spell it the same way twice. He's gone now, and I miss that. Can I start doing the same thing with this James? Jayeheyems? No? Okay. I just thought I'd put the idea out there.
Cut to Jase and Howie playing catch with an inflatable pool toy in the backyard, and Jase starts doing a commercial for it, doing a fairly decent job of improvising the jingle for "Blow Up Inner Tube". When Howie of all people thinks you're off your rocker a little bit, it may be time to start laying low.
More strategy talk. In the Diary Room, Erika says she would put up Chicken George. In the HoH room, James and Marcellas are talking and Marcellas points out there is a mood in the house that George needs to be dealt with sooner than later. In the DR, he says that James pretty much has a free week in the house if he gets rid of George, call him one of James' direct threats.
James is next seen talking to Danielle and she doesn't think George is a good nominee, but James thinks if he doesn't go now he's there until the final two. She thinks he should be putting up Jase. James really wants George gone, calling him f___ing worthless. Ouch. If the producers are trying to mislead us, they're doing one hell of a job. Danielle is positive that if Will is put up as a pawn against George it's going to backfire.
It seems like Big Brother Slop is pretty disgusting. The show managed to get a couple minutes out of that, and it worked into a good segue into the week's food challenge.
This week instead of two teams, they would play in teams of two trying to earn food for a specific day by maneuvering a bowling ball past a bunch of holes with a stick across the board, the higher they get it the better the food. If they get it to the very top, they win a feast (a catered dinner) for the day. It is possible to lose and get Slop for the day for everyone.
James and Erika won a feast for Monday.
Diane and Boogie won a feast for Tuesday.
Will and Danielle won veggies, beer, bread and kumquats for Wednesday. The name sounds funny, which is probably why they were included, but they look good.
Kaysar and Howie won a feast for Thursday.
Marcellas and Janelle did the worst, winning veggies and beer for Friday. Marcellas admitted they based their team on cuteness and if they'd get on well together. Marc, you're basing your final two on the same thing. Take this as an omen! In the end, he thought the most physical thing they could do together is go shopping. He did get frustrated with everyone shouting and just wanted them to shut up so he could hear Janelle.
Finally there was Jase and George. George was really nervous and was visibly shaking. Plus it was very hot and he was sweating like Howie taking a math test. They got the feast though, and George just collapsed at the end. It was a little worrying for a moment, but a bunch of people went over, congratulated him, and helped him up - led by Boogie. Yeesh, Pinky. Stop being nice. I need you to make fun of! Narf!
Marcellas was a little down on himself for his poor performance, and we got a little insight into his past when he said back in high school he would play sports he hated just so he wouldn't be the little gay guy who can't do anything. Marcellas, it doesn't matter if you're not good at sports. I'd like to see Barry Bonds coordinate an outfit as well as you, and you can do it without steroids! As long as your happy, that's really all that matters.
AAAAACK! Boogie talks devil talk in his sleep! He's cursed by demons! He does talk in his sleep, but it's gibberish. It freaks out Janelle, who thought she could get him to spill secrets in his sleep but if you can't understand him there's no point.
Danielle gets up early and misses her children. She got pregnant at 16. Some talk about this. It's interesting, but it's late and we there's still a nomination ceremony to get to.
More strategy talk, and now James is thinking Jase might be a good target, but come on. After all the Chicken George talk, it's a little late to try and misdirect us, especially with so little so late.
Talk talk talk talk talk... James says Big Brother is not a team sport. Thank you! Alliances are necessary, but not to be put above you winning.
Safe safe safe safe safe... Nominated for eviction are Dr. Will and Chicken George. Excuse me for my lack of surprise. At least he was nice to George and said it was when he caught him listening to his conversation that he saw him as someone playing the game. George got a good self-effacing line out and said, "So you're going after the most strategic player in Big Brother history is what you're telling me." Say what you want about the Chicken Man, he does seem to have a decent BS detector.
This leads to George's best Diary Room yet, and he comes out swinging at James while working in chicken references, saying he's walking around like the big rooster and that the Colonel is waiting right around the corner for him. Go, George!
I'm not sure what Will said. At some point he got a spray on tan and he's so freakishly orange! Is that really better than a pale, pasty, natural alabaster? On the other hand, Orange Will is funny to look at and isn't that always a good thing?

Big Brother: All-Stars - Air Date July 20 Bonus Material

As one final penance for this messed up week, I present to you Big Brother - A Story in Pictures!


"Was that Howie's ass I saw? But first.."


I'm tempted to make another Howie joke here, but it's pretty disgusting so I'll leave it to you.


No jokes, I just really like the hair.


Behold, the Big Ass Bed! If you look under the bedding, you'll still see stains left by Charlie Sheen.


Yes, it's a hookah pipe. But after her smoking pot confession tell me you don't look at this and think "bong".


Awwwww!


"Wuv! Twue wuv!"


Seriously, Will. Feel free to use these shots in your lawsuit.


"Hey, Jase! Is this how to wear a mandana? Is it, huh? Is it, huh? Narf!"


"No, my feeble-minded friend. That's not how you wear a mandana..."


"This is how you wear a mandana!"


He makes it so hard to stick up for him.


Nice hair. When's the Star Trek convention?


She's crying on the inside now.


Damn.


There's no reason to include another picture of Julie, but she's just looking so saucy!