Last Comic Standing - Air Date May 30

First the good news - Last Comic Standing is going back to its original format. They'll weed out all the competitors until they get to the final ten, at which point those comedians will all move in together. Excellent! Feel free to picture Mr. Burns while you read that. Excellent! Jay Mohr has been replaced as a host by Anthony Clark of Yes, Dear, and formerly a decent show, Boston Common. And from what little we've seen of him, he doesn't suck.
Now the bad news - Buckstar didn't move on. But hey, he got further than he ever has in previous auditions. This man has auditioned a LOT. In seasons 1 and 2, he went to every city they held auditions and tried out, but never got past that first minute or so. Getting called back to try out in front of a crowd in the evening was a huge step for him. At this rate, he'll be going on to the house by season 15.
There were a lot of good comics auditioning. Many more bad ones, but I'll get to that in a moment. For the good comedians, there were some tough cuts. For those that are going forward, there is a nice mix of styles and even a few feel-good stories. Almost not getting the callback, asking to try one more joke, then doing well enough at the callback to move on? I loved it! I'm not going to get too attached to anyone yet though, because there are a lot more cuts to come. When we get to the final ten, then I'll start worrying about names.
Ooooh, the bad comedians. One of the staples of these talent shows is that we get to see those who didn't make it. Bad singers? Funny. Bad dancers? Funny. Bad comedians? Aye, there's the rub. Morbidly fascinating? Definitely. But not funny. That's why they're bad comedians. Come on, one guy dressed up like Hitler in leiderhosen! Unless you're Mel Brooks, don't. Great, now you've got "Springtime for Hitler" stuck in my head, Hitler in leiderhosen guy, you bastard.
There isn't much in the way of plotting and scheming one could do at this point, but there is a little something called "research". This is the fourth season of the show, third where they've had tryouts. If you have a novelty act, you're not going to get on. There is so little shown of the bad auditions, it's not even worth going just to get on television. I don't know about comedy duos though. I can't see one proceding all the way through as a team, but maybe it would work. Not likely though, but you can still try that. They don't seem keen on prop comics either, so you can stay at home, Carrot Top (who is really buffing out, by the say, so don't cross him or you'll regret it).
It's been a while, so I'll forgive them this once. Season 3 was an anomaly, it's been a while since season 2, now it's season 4. There's no excuse for next year.
Well, except for delusion. I'm not as funny as I think, and if you're going to try out for Last Comic Standing, there appears to be a really good chance you aren't either.

Something new they're doing this year is that some of the comics who just missed the last cut get to compete online, with the final two competing live on the show. I like Sapna Kumar, but my votes so far are going to Kaitlin Colombo. She's only 19, but she has a great comedy voice and a bright future. Check out the website to watch videos and place your votes.

The Apprentice - Air Date May 29

The final two, Lee and Sean. I haven't seen a powerhouse final two like this on The Apprentice since... Okay, maybe one of the reasons the show isn't doing so hot in the ratings this season is there aren't any stars rising to the top, and even with what we got are people who have succeeded many, many times in giving us reasons to not cheer for them. It's hard to feel for Sean when he failed to stand up to Synergy's cliqueish ability to turn on and alien the less popular members of the team, and Lee, though I feel he has been one of the stronger players, has shown remarkable sexism for one so virginal.
Not that the season hasn't been entertaining. That hasn't been an issue at all, and last night's episode was no exception. I was taken by surprise that they got a call advising them that they're the final two, unlike last season when Rebecca and Randall got a personal visit from Trump, but then Sean and Lee are barely fit to shine the shoes of those two. It wasn't until they got back to the suite from the boardroom that it all made sense, when all the past candidates from this season were waiting there for them.
The past candidates. Here's what I loved about this... Allie and Roxanne were just fired. They were then put into a cab and shunted off to do their little post-firing interview. After that, the cab would have had to turn around and bring them back to the suite. Or so it would appear from the way everything's cut together. But even if the boardroom is in a studio and candidates have to get shuttled back to the suite, I still loved the way that looked.
Speaking of Allie and Roxanne, I'd like to take a moment here to talk about their joint firing last week. The way the boardroom is set up, and the way the candidates are asked questions, everything is designed to breed conflict. Especially with further progress in the competition on the line. You HAVE to speak negatively about those you are up against so that there is a reason for them to be fired. There were enough reasons for the two of them to go that something as disingenuous as "disloyalty" coming from The Donald didn't wash. They came in naively thinking they might be able to avoid either of them being fired, a fireable offense in itself as far as I'm concerned, and they didn't really turn on each other until truly pushed.
I strongly suspect it didn't matter. Trump was looking for any reason to fire the both of them. If they didn't start talking negatively I'm sure their lack of passion for the job would have been the problem. Nope, whichever two of the final four that went to the boardroom were doomed from the start.
If it happened once, I wouldn't be thinking this, but it happened last season too. Before that, the final three would go through a process of being interviewed by executives from big companies. You don't go through two seasons of setting these up and getting the executives put aside their time only to thank them and let them know they won't be needed. No. Instead, you don't plan a final three at all. As far as I could tell, nobody cared for these interviews. After all the challenges leading up to that point, they were pretty damned boring and tedious. But they don't have individual challenges until the final two. So I'd bet the rent that the reason we've seen the final four go down to the final two for two seasons in a row is that the producers just can't think of what else to do in place of the interviews. So really, why bother fighting in the boardroom if you're going in with no chance anyway?
But back to the game at hand! Lee and Sean with a suite full of their fired comrades, needing to decide who to choose for their teams! Sean looked around, interviewed them, and picked Tammy. No surpise, he's like a little British puppy around her. He then picked Andrea, and that made sense. He got on well with her, and though not the nicest human being could be fairly competent. Just don't have her do any graphic design. Finally he went with Tarek. All right, why not? This also means he has a Sandra Bullock lookalike and an Orlando Bloom lookalike on his team, so at the very least he can work that in somehow.
Lee went with Lenny right away. Again, no surprise. He then let Lenny talk him into picking people who would fight for Lee to win, no people who would be competent in the task. Oh, Lenny. Why? As enjoyable as Lenny is, Lee's a much stronger candidate without him around. So Lee picked Roxanne, which actually isn't that bad a choice. Pull her away from Allie and she should be good for your team. He also picked, thanks to that scoundrel Lenny, Pepi. Don't be surprised if you don't remember who he is. Neither did Carolyn and that made for my favourite moment of the whole season when she broke down in laughter after they all left the boardroom because she had no idea who that person on the right was. To put the cherry on this delicious sundae of a great television moment, Trump had to check his notes to see what Pepi's name was, and they tried to guess when it was that he was fired. Ooooouch. Bad enough to be fired early, but to be so completely forgettable? You didn't have a chance, Pepi, buddy. Maybe Lee should have picked Brent. It wasn't like he was hanging around in the creepiest way possible hoping to get picked. Brent, you didn't have a chance of winning this season, but I was horrified at the way Synergy went after you because you were an easy, socially awkward target. Don't make me regret sticking up for you, please!
But enough mirth! It's time for the final challenge! And it turns out that each of the candidates will have to... run an fundraising charitable event! Yes, they do this each season.
Sean gets to put on a Barenaked Ladies concert for charity, Lee gets to put on a charity hockey game. Both have potential to raise big bucks, but that really depends on our final two now, doesn't it?
Well, so far it's looking like it has potential for Sean. From the start, his team got down to business competently, put their heads together competently, had meetings competently. They're looking good.
Lee. Lee. Ummmm... Lee. Damn, man. When others have been putting you down, I've been talking you up all season. You have a 3-1 record as project manager, and when you weren't you still had good ideas that, if not shot down, could have saved Gold Rush a few losses! I don't care from some of the sexist crap you've been known to spout, but as a candidate for a job in Trump's empire, I thought you were the strongest choice in spite of your youth! I blame Lenny. Lenny drags you down, man. Or maybe fundraising and putting together charity events just aren't your thing.
Yeah, Lee's not looking good for winning this task. He has nothing. No great ideas, no coping skills with all the little things that pop up. Nothing. Sean's looking really good as a possible winner right now.
Which brings me to one of my problems with The Apprentice. It's good to be a well-rounded employee, sure. However, nobody can do everything. If someone ends up overseeing the construction of a new hotel, does it really matter if they can organize a fundraising event? I don't think so. That's why I hope that Trump doesn't base too much on wins vs. losses. So party planning isn't something a business graduate is good at. Who cares? The more important factors are things like adaptability, multi-tasking, willingness to face a challenge head-on, you know, things like that. If the candidate loses, as long as the skill set they lost with isn't required for the potential job, I'd like to see points earned for doing as good a job as they can under the circumstances.
That said, there is no reason a candidate can't do a little planning ahead. There have already been four previous seasons with a whole heck of a lot of tasks. Look into this, find out what's worked and what hasn't and adapt it to your task at hand (this also applies to the boardroom, by the way)! Expecially this final task. It's always a charitable event. There is absolutely no excuse by this point at being caught off-guard and unprepared. If you expect to make the final two, have some ideas prepared beforehand. Some or all of them might be unusable for the challenge you face, but at least it shows that you've watched the damned show or are capable of doing some basic research before putting yourself on national television trying to score a high-paying job.
While I thought he had the best shot at winning, by missing out on this simplest of ideas, watch the damned show and learn from it before going on, I'm going to have to go with Sean at this point.
I'm not ruling Lee out, however. Last season Randall appeared to be faltering in the final task but managed to bring it around and win. Lee can still do that too. But either he's going to have to get really lucky or really brilliant.
I guess we'll find out next Monday.
***
I wasn't a big fan of Andrea during her time on the show. Hell, I found there to be much about her there was very unlikeable. That said, I really hope she's doing well. Normally I might make fun of people crying on these shows, as often they are doing so for quite silly reasons. Not this time. A nose bleed is one thing, but coughing up blood before the nose bleed is quite another, and I can imagine just how scary that is. Whatever was wrong, here's hoping it was very minor or very easy to take care of.

Summer Fun with Realivision

Big Brother: All-Stars is going to be the behemoth of reality game shows this summer, but it's by no means the only show in town. I've already covered So You Think You Can Dance and there are even more. There is a new Canadian version of a popular American show, a surprise return of an old, short-lived favourite, and a brand new show that's already drawing comparisons to one of the big boys.

Canada's Next Top Model
Hosted by Tricia Helfer, currently enjoying much success as Number Six in the fantastic reimagining of Battlestar Galactica, this is Canada's version of America's Next Top Model. I don't watch that show, there's a whole episode under my belt, so I don't know what to expect though I suspect it'll be exactly the same as the American version, just without the budget and with a Cylon as the host. It'll be worth a look just to see what they do, but I doubt I'll watch enough to warrant coverage here. My self-esteem just couldn't take that many models on a regular basis.
This does leave me wondering about something. First we had Canadian Idol, and now we have Canada's Next Top Model. Where the hell are the Canadian versions of Survivor, Big Brother, or Amazing Race? The last one in particular is a show apparantly a lot of Canadians would like to try. And hey, we're Canadian so you'd think it would be a lot safer for us to go galavanting around the globe.

Last Comic Standing
You could have knocked me over with a rubber chicken when I first saw a commercial for the return of this show. Season 1, I somehow missed. I LOVE comedy! I LOVE comedians! Most comedians anyway. I missed Ralphie May that year, for which I am eternally grateful. I don't understand his popularity. Give me Kathleen Madigan, who I did see on the fantastic season 2 and didn't go as far as I would have liked. Season 3 on the other hand was a whole other kettle of arrows through the head. Instead of taking a fresh new batch of disfunctional stand-ups and putting them in a house together to compete, rushing the show to be broadcast in the fall, chucking the whole successful formula out the window and having a straight competition between people from season 1 and people from season 2 with second season kicking ass in every showdown, not because they were necessarily funnier (except in Ralphie May's case, because you'd have to be really bad not to be funnier than him) but because they were fresher in the public's mind, and it was all about audience voting. Hey, Master P, tell the readers if I've mentioned I'm not a fan of audience voting!
NBC essentially cancelled the show that season, and instead of a final episode, they announced the winner during the commercials showing on some other show. It was Alonzo Bodden as it turns out, a worthy winner but I had to look around online to find this information.
Thus my surprise when I saw the commercials. Hey, if they go back to basics, maybe it has a chance. I'll certainly be tuning in and stealing what I can for here.

Treasure Hunters
From what I've seen so far, this show looks very promising. It's drawn some inevitable comparisons to Amazing Race, but it's obviously its own show. For starters, it's got teams of THREE instead of two!
I tease. It does look good, and it looks different enough from Amazing Race to be interesting and fun in its own right. Of course I'll be covering it here, but unlike, say, Big Brother, I've never seen it so I won't be able to scream "HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED THE DAMN SHOW!" at the screen and I won't be able to base strategy on what's come before.
The biggest concern is the big question, is the audience ready for a whole new reality game show? The Apprentice's ratings are slipping faster than The Donald's hair in a stiff breeze, The Amazing Race had to change to a new day and time to try to slow down its own sliding numbers, and even Survivor, while still very popular, isn't the powerhouse it once was. On the other hand, Treasure Hunters does have some things going for it. The television landscape isn't as littered with reality refuse as it once was, so there will be less competition for this show. It's debuting in the summer, so there aren't all-new episodes of the more popular scripted shows to go up against. This is also the summer of The Da Vinci Code movie, and the book remains as popular as ever. While it looks like there is a fair bit of physical activity in the show, there appears to be a lot of puzzle solving too and that could go over well if this is all timed right.

This could be a fun summer indeed, and who needs sun? No melanomas for me, thanks! I'll take my all-new shows!

So You Think You Can Dance - Air Date May 25

I'm really torn about this show. Not about watching it, doing that is a given. I'm talking about covering it here. Like American Idol (a show I don't watch), this is more an overblown talent show than it is a reality game show, and there isn't any room for scheming or plotting. Even worse, it's up to the public who goes home, and we saw what blunder that can be in the last season of Dancing With the Stars. Yes, Master P, I'm looking at you.
So that leaves little choice but to talk about my favourites dancers and dancers, and do a lot of snarking. Meh. Maybe that'll be fun too. Sorry if things start to get a little too recappy here. Recaps are what TVgasm is for.

One of the problems with the way we hear the world is that we don't hear what we sound like to other people. Who hasn't heard a recording of themselves then ask if they really sound like that? I know when I sing to myself, I sound pretty okay. When I hear a recording of myself singing, I sound pretty damned awful. So maybe there are people who audition for American Idol who have never heard themselves recorded and truly have no idea how gawdawful they sound.
Dancing is another matter altogether. I don't need to see myself on video to know I suck. Apparantly there are people though who do need such help. A lot of people. And look at the video yourself, don't rely on your mother to tell you the truth.
And the show starts out at the auditions in New York with the lovely story of a boy and his mother. The boy's name is Dave Fuller, who wants to go by the monicker "Sex". His dancing is sexy and all about sex, you see. I just wish he'd shut up about sex. For starters, he's obviously a virgin. Or maybe not, but more on that soon enough. He's had no formal dance training (REALLY!?!), but practices a lot in his bedroom. Dancing, you dirty minded perv! His audition is just painful to watch, but that's the point of these audition shows, isn't it? Laugh at the deluded fool! Laugh and feel better about yourself! It's horrible, but it works. I do feel better about myself.
"Sex" of course doesn't make it through to the next stage. The only way that would happen would be if the judges suddenly developed an incredibly cruel streak. He doesn't take the rejection well, and doesn't want to talk to the cameras until he's talked to his mother.
The next time we see Dave, he's standing behind his mother in a very creepy way while she talks to the camera. She too is at a loss for Dave's failure to succeed as a professional dancer. Her son is a great dancer who imbues his art with sex and sexiness and he has some sexy moves. It's at this point I questioned whether he is truly a virgin or not.
You can take this moment to picture my involuntary shudder, if you so desire.
There were other dancers. Some good, some bad. Blah blah blah. I'll care about the good ones when we get to Las Vegas, where the next level of cuts will be. Right now it's all about the delusion, and we're getting it in spades!
The next day, still in New York, we got to meet Ian Benardo, a man who lived up to all the worst gay stereotypes while missing the best by a mile. He was a bitchy diva too full of himself, but with nothing to back it up. I'll be nice and say he was a little on the homely side (as I've said before, I'm a hideous troll myself so I feel it's okay for me to say this), his sense of style wasn't there (a senseless of style?) - hey, Ian, what's with the bad fur coat? - and worst of all, he couldn't dance. Or maybe he could. He moved somewhat while he was on stage. I think. Maybe he was adjusting his underwear. I don't know. But he didn't make it through. And that's when he started arguing with the judges. Then after he left he still kept on about them. Then he swore at everyone as he stormed off. I'm going to miss him.
Later on the auditions moved to Charleston. You know, that city in one of the Carolinas. I will spare myself the indignity of demonstrating my near total ignorance of Charleston by not saying any more on that subject.
More good and bad dancers. Yeah yeah. A lot of people travelled a long way to get there, even some from... New York? I guess they may have thought they'd have a better chance. All I know is that while the delusions were still there, the level of sheer lunacy was down a few notches. Take that, Red Staters! No, wait! Ummmm... Never mind.
There was one dancer here who never had a chance, but I really liked her, dagnabbit. Jessica Wheeler, hairstylist, clogger, and sweetheart extraordinaire. Sorry to say though, the judges just weren't with her for the clogging. I enjoyed her performance for what it was, but she didn't really stand a chance. I don't mind when the judges meet attitude with attitude, but they could have been a little nicer with Jessica. When she left in tears, I just wanted to give her a hug.

I just want to finish this with a comment on the one moment that really bothered me on the show. A little person was auditioning, I don't know his name as I wasn't taking notes and I got the rest of the names off the official website (yes, I'm lazy that way and should reconsider the whole note-taking thing). He was a decent enough dancer, and with enough dance training could certainly find a niche for himself. The problem for the judges was how he would fair in the ballroom dances with a much taller partner. A fair enough concern, and something they could bring up with tact and aplomb. Or they could do what they did and just ignore him standing there as they argue amongst themselves whether he could do ballroom or not. Eventually he figured they were no longer going to be talking to him so he just left while they continued arguing over his height.
Okay, he may not have been right for this competition, but he's still a human being. Please try treating him as such, judges? Thank you.

An interview with Marcellas Reynolds

With over three weeks left until we find out who the candidates are to enter the house for Big Brother: All-Stars, the anticipation is building amongst fans and I'm certainly no exception. And hey, if we're going to post before the season begins, we're not just going to give you filler! This one is a nice little entry for our second ever post...
If you're going to compile a list of All-Stars from Big Brothers past, one name should be consistantly at the top. Marcellas Reynolds, star of Big Brother 3 and host of House Calls: The Big Brother Talk Show on CBS.com. Marcellas was kind enough to take some time out of his schedule to answer some questions for Realivision.

***

First off, the question on everybody's mind... Are you one of the candidates to go into the house, will you be hosting House Calls, or have the producers worked out some way for you to do both? I understand you may not be able to answer this question until after June 21st.

I have been asked to do Big Brother All-Stars. I'm not an employee of CBS. Saying that about me is like saying William Petersen of CSI works for Les Moonves. I'm an actor/TV host. I get paid as an independent contractor. I shot a pilot for Lifetime. If that gets picked up before the vote to go back into the Big Brother house I'll do that show. If I don't get chosen to go back into the Big Brother house I'll do House Calls. Simple.

If you do go into the house again for All-Stars and are unable to host House Calls, who would you like to see keep your chair warm until you get back?

Gretchen alone! No I'm joking. I like James from Season 6, Jase from Season 5 and Will from Season 5. I also think Michael from Season 6 would be good though he didn't stay in the house very long.

Again, assuming you were to go back in the house, other than the obvious (we know you'd use the Veto this time, you rascal), what would you do differently, if anything?

This time I wouldn't trust people so easily. I won't take things @ face value as I did the first time. I learned from Season 3 that women can lie, Christians can cheat. I'll put myself first more. I'm still going to be funny and outrageous. I'll still talk smack! Not that much has changed.

This season is going to have a much different dynamic than previous seasons, because everyone will, if not know each other personally then are at least going to be aware of each other. How do you think this will change the style of the game play?

I think this season is going to be cut-throat and crazy. We each know now what the money can do. We also know how far we each will go for the money. And I truly believe that at the end of the day we know it's just a game. I think that will make it much more make or break.

Not saying who will be going back in, but who would you like to see in the All-Stars House?

No one from Season 1. Will, Nicole and Hardy Season 2. Me, Danielle and Amy Season 3. Alison, Erika and Justin Season 4. Jase, Diane and Drew Season 5. Janelle, James and Eric Season 6. I think that's a good mix of big personalities and competitors.

No other former House Guest has been as involved with Big Brother as you have, at least not in the public eye. In all the seasons you've been watching and participating, how has your perception of the game changed?

I think the game has become much more mean-spirited since season 3. Maybe BB3 was the jump-the-shark season but since then there has been very little fun. I wanna see people compete of course but I also wanna see people try to get along. And have fun. I also think the some fans have gotten a bit out of control. I'm a fan. I watch the show and I remember I don't know the House Guests. And @ the end it's just entertainment.

You took a lot of flack at the end of season 6 for not ripping members of the Friendship apart while they were on House Calls. While the vast majority of fans are reasonable and normal people, did this give you an insight into the darker side of fans, or was this something you've already been familiar with having been around since season 3?

I've seen the ugliest parts of human nature since BB3. I got the hate mail because I am Black and because I am homosexual. I've had people follow me into the loo to tell me I got played because I didn't use the veto. It's been almost 4 years and people still refer to me as an idiot because I trusted 2 other people. Because I believed my alliance, my friends wouldn't hurt or lie to me. I think the Internet makes cowards brave. Things they would never say to someones face they will type. It's sad. But I believe ugliness comes back to you. I host House Calls. I'm paid to be funny and irreverent. @ the end of the show I go home and put it away. I don't wish the HGs any harm or ill will because they are there to entertain. Without them I'd have no gig. So bash and trash 'em (gently) because it's fun but remember do unto others.

On a brighter note, what are your fondest memories from your season?

I remember laughing. I remember falling in love with Amy and Danielle. I remember being excited to be on TV. To be performing. I remember so many great conversations. And hoping it would never end.

What have you been up to since the end of last season's House Calls?

Well I shot Remixed for BET. The show did so well. It was a dream come true to be the host of my own show. I've worked for E! and the Style Network several times. I've covered events for CBS of course and shot a pilot for Lifetime. I work all the time. Tons of auditions. Things are really good. I never dreamed I'd live in Beverly Hills and have a TV career and just be happy. I'm blessed and don't take anything for granted. I work with several charities and that's so important to me.

Have you got any non-Big Brother projects lined up that you can share with us?

Gosh I just shot a make-over show pilot. I've got 2 producing partners and we have a few show ideas we're developing. I'm taking driving lessons. I've always lived in big cities or abroad and never learned to drive. I have to now. It's getting ridiculous not driving in L.A. I'm looking @ hybrids. And I'm toying with buying an apartment. It's time.

Does Marcellas Reynolds have anyone special in his life, or still looking?

I am dating a few guys. It's fun being single in L.A. I was out today shopping with a friend and literally met 2 guys! It's crazy here. But I'm looking for the one. I'm tired of 1st dates. I'm tired of players and being a player. I'm ready to settle down, get married and have some kids.

Boxers or briefs?

Commando. Free-style baby. If I must briefs.

Coke or Pepsi?

Pepsi. It's sweeter.

Favourite Arquette, and why?

I love Patricia Arquette. Medium is one of my favorite shows. I've met David several times and he's very nice but for me it's all about Patricia.

Favourite Baldwin, and why?

Alec is super talented but seems like an ass. Stephen was once gorgeous but now he looks bloated and that religious conversion thing is crazy. William was cute too but what the hell happened to him? He married Chyna Phillips and fell off the face of the Earth. I'd say my fave is Daniel. He's big and kinda sexy. He was never "the cute one" so he never lost anything.

I've never done an interview (okay, technically it's a questionaire) before, and this does seem rather short. So as an interviewing virgin, I guess I should ask a classic... If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

If I were a tree I'd be Mahogany. And if I could remake any movie, I'd remake Mahogany. And yeah I wanna play the main character!

Thank you very much, Marcellas, and good luck in all your endeavours!

Welcome to Realivision

Who am I and who the hell do I think I am writing about reality game shows? What are my qualifications? Do I have any references? A resume?
Enough of the questions already. My nom de plume is Tabby. You don't need to know my real name, just be assured that I've never been on Survivor, Big Brother, The Apprentice... Heck, I've never been on television. Not even Cops, though you could see me briefly from behind on the local news once, and no, the story wasn't about me. I do however watch more tv than is good for me, and I like to think I'm relatively smart and might even be a little on the humourous side. Oh, and I'm Canadian so I spell it "humour". That makes me ineligible to go on those shows, and I'm not particularly camera-friendly anyway, so it's not going to happen even if I could.
That means the only plotting and scheming I can do is in my own freakishly deformed head. Season in and season out I scream inwardly at my television when I see horrible mistakes being made, particularly on Survivor and Big Brother, the best of the shows for serious strategy to play out. Lately I've taken to doing my screaming more outwardly on message boards, but that's just not enough anymore. I need to blog this stuff! I just hope it's not too late and we get many more seasons of these great shows.
I won't be doing full recaps. If you want those, the best site on the Net is TVgasm. For a more straightforward recap, the network websites get the job done. CBS.com did manage to get suprisingly funny at times during their Big Brother 6 recaps though.
The assumption here will be that you have watched each episode, or at least read a recap elsewhere. Expect to read strategizing, what the players should have done and what they should do. I'm not a journalist though, so this won't be unbiased. I will have my favourites, and I will cheer unabashedly for them. That's not to say I won't be thinking about the players I want to see out should do or talk about that. They just won't be getting equal time, the bastards.
"Reality game shows". I'm not fond of the term "reality show" in reference to these programs, but at the same time they're not regular old game shows (Big bucks! No Whammy!), so instead I call them "reality game shows". There you go.

***

June 21st, write it down in your diaries. Julie Chen will be back with a special episode of Big Brother, introducing for the first time the 20 former House Guests hoping to get back in the house for Big Brother: All-Stars. The viewers will then get to vote back in their favourites, so expect to see Kaysar back should he decide to try a third time. Hey, I was a fan of the guy myself, but if he goes back in and doesn't win, he'll set a new record for evictions, one he currently shares with Amy from Big Brother 3.
Personally I'm cheering for Brittany from the original BB to go back in and try her hand at the way the game is currently played, but from what I've been reading online, I shouldn't hold my breath. As long as the first season is represented though. As Survivor showed us, an All-Stars season can be a little tepid at times, but with one or two players in the house who have never dealt with the strategy and scheming aspect of the game, things could still remain somewhat fresh.
But I digress. Tune in on June 21st, and voting closes June 28th. We then get to hold our collective breath until Thursday, July 6th when the season proper starts. I'll be there, and if you're still reading this, you probably will be too.

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So will this be the only post until June 21st? Hopefully not. I will be trying for some content before then. Stay tuned for that.