Saturday, August 05, 2006

Big Brother: All-Stars - Air Date August 1

So I screwed up again. I thought I had hit record when in fact I didn't, so we're joining the show already in progress.
Pretty much all we missed was the recap and the immediate fallout from the nominations. As the tape starts playing back, there is some serious soap opera music, a shot of George looking serious and a shot of Marcellas looking serious, then we go outside to watch it get dark very fast.
Everyone is either in bed or getting ready for bed when Janelle shouts out for everyone to come to the livingroom to pick players for the Veto competition. It's unusual to pick players the night before, but this is an unusual competition. Only six players will participate, which we know. Once again they pick names out a bag (what happened to the Wheel O' House Guests?) and as Head of Household, Janelle picks first.
She got House Guest's Choice, so she chose Howie to play. Erika drew Diane's name, and Mike got House Guest's Choice too so he chose Will of course.
The Veto competition would happen sometime in the morning, and they will only have one minute's notice. Any player who fails to make it to the yard in time, they will forfeit the Veto. Only those competing will be allowed in the yard for the competition.
But first...
The House Guests watch a video telling them they need to be alert for this competition, so all week long viewers were sending in their wakeup calls to the show, but how did they vote when it came to how often the House Guests would be woken up? Every three hours? Every one hour? Every half hour? Every fifteen minutes? Is the result even going to be a surprise? They will find out how America (not Canada because we weren't allowed, the bastards) voted the hard way that night.
Danielle seemed overly exciting about this whole thing while the rest of the HGs didn't seem to know what to make of it. Personally, I love it! This show doesn't mess with the House Guests nearly as often as they should! There has been much wrong with the All-Stars season, but this ranks right up there with Big Brother Slop as one of the great things about it.
George said they're going to wake them up every fifteen minutes, and that was the general consensus. This night wasn't looking good to them.
Before going to bed, Janelle pulled Howie aside and whispered to him who they don't want to win the Power of Veto - Erika or Diane. She's keeping Pinky and the Brain in! Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy they're staying, but damn, what's she thinking?
In the Diary Room, Howie talked about how surprised he was that they were wanting to keep Erika and Diane from winning, because he thought they were supposed to be going after Will and Boogie. "I'll be honest, the strategy of confusion this year is working on me." Not like that's difficult, as Howie gets confused by Grade 2 math, Blue's Clues, and changes in the weather.
At 12:30am, there is a sudden loud recording of someone making strange sounds and the House Guests are awoken with highly amusing results. Will shot straight out of bed looking particularly hurting and confused, then sat right down again. At 12:45 a new recording went, the timing being no shock to anyone including the House Guests.
Marcellas wasn't pleased and was ready to throw himself off the balcony.
At 1:00am it started again and everyone was starting to look really pained. Sitting up at 2:15, Kaysar said to Janelle that at every 15 minutes, that would be four times an hour, so I'm glad to see that sleep deprivation doesn't affect his razor sharp math skills.
Marcellas, listening to a recording, said, "Two grown people actually did that. They actually took time out of their lives (something) to do that." Just like we took time out of our lives to vote your ass back into the house! Sorry, I'd be snippy too if I was being woken up every 15 minutes.
It was a beautifully long and loud scream they got at 3:00 which gave us another shot of Dr. Will's bed head.
Boogie said this was the dumbest thing ever, and in the Diary Room he let America know, sarcastically, that he wasn't pleased that they thought it would be funny to wake them up every fifteen minutes. Oh, come on. It wasn't like America snuck into the control room to do this! It was all the producers. If they're going to dangle every 15 minutes in from of the audience's collective faces, well, it's like dangling vodka in front of Mel Gibson (hey, that's topical!), you know they're going to take it.
This goes on and on... 3:30am... 3:45am Dr. Will flips the finger... 4:15am Marcellas angrily throws a blanket and Howie is talking to Erika - holy crap! Erika is already too skinny, throw in no sleep and she's Nosferatu with hair!
Then 5:00am rolls around and a siren blares. By now this is old hat to the House Guests who try to ignore it until a computerized voice kicks in and tells them it's time for the Veto competition. That got a few asses out of bed, let me tell you.
They all made it out in time, some of them having to carry their shoes, but they still made it and in the yard were... electric chairs? Are they going to be executed if they get answers wrong, and the last one left alive gets the Power of Veto?
There were six VERY sturdy wooden chairs each connected to a car battery with a lamp on top, and they were pointed to some very glaring lights. If you are any fan of The Simpsons, you will remember the early episode where they went in for family councilling and ended up pressing buttons and giving each other shocks. Dang, I was hoping that would happen here.
The computerized voice that woke them up was the host for the competition. In front of the players were two plasma monitors, and they would spell a word or phrase letter by letter, and they would do so backwards. If a player answers and gets it wrong, they are eliminated. If they get it right, they get to hobble another player with a fine choice of distractions including a bucket of maggots, goggles with one eye blacked out, headphones with some of the wakeup calls blaring, neck braces and more. The first player to get three right wins the Golden Power of Veto.
Boogie was the first player to answer correctly with "Eviction", narf! He put some headphones on Howie.
Will buzzed in next and it looked liked he did it by accident as he drifted off into slumber. He said "Unexpected", but the correct answer was "Expect the Unexpected" and just like that he was out of the game.
The next word was "Nominee", and of all people it was Howie who got it right. He took the maggots and poured them all over Diane's feet.
Boogie buzzed in again and guessed "Power of Veto", and Howie got a maggot footbath.
Janelle got the next one, "Alliance", and she handed a pair of the goggles to Diane like she didn't know who to give them to and she was the closest. Nice acting job!
This was making no sense to Diane, because she was getting all the hinderance devices while the two people on the block were getting nothing. This did show Boogie that they were able to work with Janelle this week as actions do speak louder than words in the Big Brother house.
Another word started playing, Boogie pressed his buzzer, and "Chopping Block" was correct, Mike "Pinky" Boogie won the Power of Veto!
In celebration, he then kicked a pair of goggles that were on the ground and it turns out that instead of the plastic he thought they were made of, they were indeed glass. Kicking glass isn't good, he broke the goggles and cut open his toe. Fortunately for him, his best friend and boy crush was right there, and Dr. Will said he was going to need a couple of stitches. I thought he lost a toe, because Will and Howie carried him into the house for cryin' out loud.
MY EYES! MY EYES! Yes, we're now in the very pink HoH room, where Marcellas was in bed trying to get some sleep. He asked who won and Janelle told him, and he knows that Boogie is going to use that Veto. Because nobody is ever going to be on the block and not use the Veto.
Ahem.
Love you, Marc!
Marcellas sees it then as Will going this week. Erika asked Janelle if she's going to put up Will or Chicken George, and Janelle suggests putting up Diane. Erika doesn't understand why she's not going to get rid of Chill Town, and Marcellas asked why those guys keep doing this. The two people in the game who consistantly say they're going after Season Six and BB6ers keep ducking.
In the Diary Room, Marcellas said it makes him insane. Kaysar, James, and Howie are all telling Janelle to nominated Will and so is he. "You're hemming and hawing and you may nominate Diane because you think she (finger quotes) 'may' come after you? Stop worrying about what may happen and starting worrying about what is going to happen!" You tell her, Marcellas! He keeps going back and forth between the emotional person he can be and the student of the game, and I really love when the student of the game comes out.
Marcellas told her that Boogie winning the competition isn't something they ever thought would happen and it makes Chill Town stronger than ever, and one day they are going to win HoH and it isn't going to be the floaters they go after.
Back to the Diary Room, he then says that Pinky and the Brain are the biggest liars in the history of the game. They don't want to go home and they have more invested in this game than anybody else.
He tells Janelle that they are going to go directly after SeaSick, so Will should leave the house this week.
I personally don't want to see Will leave, but this Marcellas could win the game. Emotional Marcellas, probably not, but Smart Strategic Marcellas has the ability to take it all the way.
Sitting outside the HoH room at the chess board, Kaysar sat down with Janelle. She said to him, "So, Boogie won it, but am I supposed to put up Will or what?" Howie came and joined them. She told them that Marcellas is really made that she doesn't want to nominate Will and that she thinks Erika wants Will to go too (if that's the case, then they're really not floaters, are they? Wanting Will gone would mean they've chosen a side). Kaysar said that Erika knows that if Janelle puts up will, she will be completely safe. Janelle asked him what he thinks she should do.
James came over at this point and asked if they wanted Boogie to win. Janelle said no, so he asked her why she put the goggles on Diane. She said they were just trying to hinder everyone, and James didn't understand why they would go after a neutral player in a Veto competition. Janelle replied that they don't know where Diane stood and she doesn't know what she is going to do. James asked her who she did not want to win the Veto, and Janelle's answer was Will or Boogie.
This satisfied James, but then Howie asked Janelle what she's been drinking because she told him... She cut him off and said she told him to hinder the people he doesn't want to win, but he finished off and said that she told him she didn't want Diane or Erika to win the Veto.
...
...
...
OH HELL YEAH! Janelle was caught in a lie by the entire Season Six alliance! Now this game is going to get interesting! I hope. I really hope for the sake of a fun, exciting season that this moment right here is what turns everything around and shakes things up!
In the DR, she admitted that she got herself into a bit of a bind this week, but it's coming down to a decision between what's best for her or what's best for her alliance.
James isn't pleased that Janelle was taking out people who weren't threats in the competition, and that means one thing - she is working with Chill Town and they are trying to take out the floaters. If Janelle does not put up Will, there will be a mutiny within SeaSick.
Now it's time for Dr. Will to work a little of his magic on her, and said she has a difficult decision - stick with her team or start to peel off a little.
He was great in there, talking about how if he goes home then all the floaters are going to go after Janelle, and the reason the rest of Season Six is okay with that is that they're not the ones who will be leaving, she is. She asked that if she puts up a floater other than Erika will he vote that person out, and he said he will do whatever she wants 100%, so she puts out Diane's name. He said he would, and if Diane goes out, who would care? See! Everyone wants to feel safe with their nominees, and he's building on that in her!
She is worried that everyone wants her to put up Will, and he counteracted with their "selfish motivations". She thinks it would be such a mean thing to do, he tells her not to get on a moral high ground in the house, they're all evil sinners there "but there's honour amongt thieves" and that's what he's looking for there. "The people who are going to lose this are the people who are self-righteous."
Janelle said people are going to be really pissed if she accepts this offer because she'll be doing what she said she wouldn't do. His reply? "So what? That's what this game's about." Janelle told him she's just never played that way before, to which Will said, "That's how you win, and the reason I know that is because I've won."
I must bow down at Will's feet, because that was a masterpiece of manipulation. That, my friends, is an All-Stars game.
The House Guests finally get their first luxury competition of the season. They will split into two teams, and the winning team will get a private viewing of the movie Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby starring Will Ferrell as well as a whole bunch of snacks, even for anyone who is currently on Slop. Screw the movie, it's obvious why George wants to win this. We don't get to hear what Marcellas thinks because that would be crapping on the product placement, but you could so tell by the look on his face that he really doesn't care about seeing this flick. There was even a little eyeroll over this whole competition in general.
There is a NASCAR outside and the teams would have to take turns. They start off inside the car, and after it stops spinning they must climb out, do a variety of race related tasks, put on their hats, and jump back into the car and wave a chequered flag.
Anyway, the team of Will, James, Danielle, Diane, and Janelle won, and because of his injured toe Boogie couldn't compete so if the team he picked before the competition won, he could join in the festivities and you know he's going to go with Will. Poor George.
They watched the movie, Will made a mess out of the snacks, and when it was over Danielle said, "That was good." Talk about your ringing endorsements. I wonder if we'll see that review on the posters. Really, the collective reaction didn't seem to bode well for the film.
Later on, Janelle announced to her alliance that she is for sure putting up Diane. Howie (please put a shirt on!) is easily led and said that Diane will be coming after Season Six so maybe it's not such a bad idea. Kaysar told Janelle that whatever she wants to do, she's HoH. James though said he was calling her out on her lie, that he was told that if he put up Jase last week that if any of the others got HoH this week they would put up Will and Boogie. She told him that didn't happen, Boogie's coming off the block so this is the second best thing for her, which James caught and told her she's doing what's best for her, not the team.
James said if that's what they want to do, then next time he's going to take into consideration what's best for him, not the team, because Janelle just screwed him and lied to his face. In the DR, he announced that the Season Six alliance is done for him.
He later took Danielle into the exercise room and told her that Janelle is going to put up Diane and that he had called her out on everything. The war begins tomorrow. In the DR - "Janelle? She's gone. Gone. She's a piece of (sound cut off and mouth blurred)." To Danielle he said he wants to start the revolution, and when he gets HoH next week, he's going to "backdoor that bitch." One thing James doesn't lack is confidence.
The Power of Veto ceremony is up next, and they don't even bother with speeches as Boogie takes himself off the block, and Janelle puts Diane up in his place.
Janelle isn't going to let anyone other than Will talk her into anything, then started to talk about floaters and when that happens all I hear is white noise.
James no longer trusts Janelle, and that by not putting up Will she turned all the non-BB6/Chill Town people against Season Six so he is going to work his ass off to make sure she's screwed.
Will and Boogie do their little phone schtick once again, and it's the funniest one yet when Will falls forward off the seat in laughter.
There is a lot of crap about floaters this year but the biggest true one is Erika. She's got no game, so it's in SeaSick's best interests to keep her around. Diane on the other hand, if people will ally with her, can be dangerous and unlike Erika who said she will go after Janelle but hasn't done anything to prove it, Diane will do her best to take her down so it's in everyone else's best interests to keep her around. The season has been riddled with wrong evictions so far, so don't hold your breath as I don't see this changing anytime soon, but for once can someone please go against the HoH's wishes?

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