Realivision

Big Brother 12

2010-07-31T10:47:00.000-06:00

I had nothing else to do, nothing else to watch, so for the first time since "America's Player", "Evil" Dick, and Allison Grodner destroyed the series, I sat and watched the show.
One of the biggest mistakes I feel they make is the constant need for twists and where the mistake was for the longest time was making the twist about people who knew each other. I was so over the show that I don't know if they've been doing anything like that the past few seasons. But when I watched the season premier, the idea of the saboteur appealed to me. So despite my better judgment and a questionable cast, I thought I'd give it a try.

The idea of the saboteur, as I said, appealed to me. This being Big Brother, of course the execution of the idea would be completely wrong. The distorted videos, the ridiculous pranks, the midseason endpoint, and where the show goes horrendously wrong every time - the audience voting.
Instead of $50,000 if she can last until - week 5 was it? - make it $10,000 for every week she survives up to the final four. Stupid pranks and audience voting? NO! Let the saboteur sabotage challenges and house guests' strategies!

Aaaaaaaaaaaand of course she was out week one. Hey, America! Tell us who we should waste an offer of $20,000 on!

Oh, that cast. All of the above wouldn't be so bad if there was just one person I could cheer for. The Buffoon Brigade is only doing as well as it is because there are NO OTHER ALLIANCES except Rachel and Brandon (and I'd better be careful about what I say, because I don't want to get between potential stalker who is ready to give up $500,000 after a week for a guy Rachel and her man).
As it is, the only person I want to see stay in the house any given week is Enzo, and only then because I'm not yet tired of seeing a grown man refer to himself as "Meow Meow".

Rachel is HOH again. Expect to see Kristen and Britney on the block as Kathy is less of a threat to getting between her and her man.

Gawd, this show is awful.

Big Brother 8

2007-11-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

I was right about Big Brother 8 and not having 12 complete strangers in the house. I'm also so convinced that the producers manipulate the outcome that this was my last season of the show.
Goodbye, Big Brother. It was nice while it lasted.

Screw you, Big Brother producers.

2007-06-29T10:02:00.000-06:00

The cast has been announced for the new season of Big Brother, as well as the new lame casting twist... Pairs of people with unresolved issues in their lives are being put in the house together.
No.
NO!
NO NO NO NO NO!
Enough with the casting "twists" where people know each other! After the trainwreck that was Big Brother: All-Stars, the series needed to get back to the basics of 12 COMPLETE STRANGERS!
I don't know how they ever got this idea in their heads that they need to do stunt casting every season, but it's worn out its welcome. I will still watch at first, but this could well be the last season I do watch, and at this point I wouldn't really miss it if it were the last season of the show ever.
At least Survivor and The Amazing Race still rock. And now we've got Pirate Master. Arrr.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/bigbrother8/

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Contestant News

2007-05-23T01:33:00.002-06:00

My friends, this is a momentous occasion. Realivision has hit the big time. How so? I've received my very first press release! Potential Sandy, Kate Rockwell, may not have won, but she did have a very good voice in a strong field (at least, it was a strong field of potential Sandys).
She's not on Broadway yet, but she will be appearing Off-Broadway.
Now this kind of news isn't the sort of thing done at Realivision, but I'm quite pleased at getting the press release, and Kate left me with a good impression after she was voted off. So you don't have to search for it, here were my final words on her...

Kate started out with some microphone problems, but that was sorted out quickly enough to give us what was possibly the best "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" yet. In fact, she did such an excellent job at it that I was quite pissed we didn't get to hear more of her and got too much of the other Sandys singing with her. I haven't been a fan of this arrangement from the start, because it doesn't give the departing woman enough lines in her own farewell song, but this was too much. If she had been bringing this much emotion to the rest of her performances, we would have been seeing quite a different result this week, I'm sure.

She definitely has it in her to give an excellent performance, so should you be in New York, well, you should be going to see some live theatre anyway, darn it. Yes, it opens today. I'd check my e-mail more often if more people would write to me!

-------------------------------------------------

“Grease: You’re The One That I Want” Finalist Kate Rockwell to appear in a new Tammy Faye Bakker musical, BIG TENT!

May 15, 2007 (NEW YORK) – The upcoming musical Big Tent will receive its first public viewing in a full concert, produced by Tim Hur, on Wednesday, May 23 at Off-Broadway’s New World Stages. The reading will feature “You’re the One That I Want” finalist Kate Rockwell as Jessica Hahn, a cast of Broadway performers, and a full rock band. The concert will start at 8 pm and is free and open to the public. Ryan J. Davis will direct.

Big Tent was conceived and written by Jeffery Self and features music and lyrics by Ben Cohn & Sean McDaniel. Big Tent is billed as “The Tammy Faye Bakker Musical”, and is described by the authors as follows:

“A cultural icon for more than thirty years, Tammy Faye Bakker’s phenomenal rise from farm girl to evangelist superstar has finally been put onstage with a terrific pop-country score. Her unique style has made her beloved by mainstream Christians, as well as by gays and other outsiders whom she welcomed under her “big tent.” In this ninety minute, six character musical, we follow Tammy as she fights to maintain her dignity amidst sex and business scandals. Her perseverance in the face of private tragedy and public ridicule has made her a testament to the endurance of the human spirit.”

Reservations for the reading can be made by emailing bigtentrsvp@gmail.com. As tickets are extremely limited, reservations for more than four people will not be accepted.

For more information and excerpts from the score, visit the official Big Tent myspace: www.myspace.com/tammymusical

WHAT: Concert of BIG TENT

WHEN: Wednesday, May 23rd @ 8:00 PM

WHERE: New World Stages

340 W. 50th Street

New York, NY 10019

CONTACT: Ryan J. Davis

ryannewyork@gmail.com

(646) 773-2534

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Wrap-Up

2007-05-21T16:58:00.000-06:00

I've never been more torn on reality contestants than I am on Charla and Mirna, especially Mirna. Usually, if I can't stand a player, I want to see them gone, and ooooh, I could not stand this team. From their hypocrisy to their inability to go through a country without temporarily kidnapping a local to the insulting and patronizing accents they put on whenever they spoke to someone who didn't have English as a first language (and possibly even a couple who did) to their ridiculous hate of the Beauty Queens to calling every local "my friend" with the faint sound of panic in their voices all the way to their constant use of "This is life or death," this is a team that made every inch of my being scream, "PLEASE GET ELIMINATED!"
Yet at the same time, and this is why this season confused me so, I wanted them to stay because, damn, they were entertaining in their awfulness. I think I finally understand Lord Of The Rings fans. Anyway, they came in third, and I'm glad they made the final three. Sure, that meant they had a chance to win, but if that happened, the fact that they were an all-female team would have made that a lot easier to live with, despite how much more sanctimonious it would have made them.
As it is, we did have an all-female team finish better than any before, and come within a few short minutes of winning. Dustin and Kandice, for two seasons now you've had no bigger cheerleader than myself, and once again you showed why. A second place finish isn't the win for a million, but in The Amazing Race, it's nothing to sneeze at. You two showed why you were brought back for All-Stars by the way you ran so much of the race with smiles on your faces and just a joy for being there. You can also take pride that in your original season, you two actually managed to beat a Fast Forward. That is tough to do for anyone, but you pulled it off.
I don't know what it is about these two that raise the ire of their fellow racers so much, but for both seasons they've managed to make enemies. Are they kicking puppies when the camera isn't looking? They don't do much different and take any advantage any more than any other racers. They have no compunction about using the Yield, but damn it, that's what it's there for! You don't see teams whining in hockey because the other side is using a goalie, do you? Yes, it must be horribly frustrating to be Yielded, but it's not like the team punched your grandmother in the face. Eric overreacted to being Yielded just a tad, but that's nothing new in the Race.
What's more annoying is how the other teams get all morally outraged over the Yield being used. There are very few opportunities for outright strategy in this competition. To not use it to your advantage (or not use it to your advantage, rather than not using it out of a sense of moral superiority) is just stupid. It's a tool the Race provides, and using it makes sense. I love that no matter how freaked out everyone got, Kandice and Dustin had no problem using it, and didn't let it make them feel bad. Yes, Oswald, they used a tool the Race provides guilt-free. And they used it smartly, as Eric and Danielle were huge threats (very huge threats, it turns out).
They even had the best fight. There was none of the screaming we're used to in fights on this show. There was frustration, a temporary desire to quit, then they got over it and were back to smiles. There are times you can really tell when people racing together really are friends (I believe it was the first season I watched that one woman didn't want to stop unrolling haystacks looking for the clue because she didn't want to let down her friend), and this fight was one of those moments. Dustin told Kandice she couldn't imagine running this race without her. Throw in the time Dustin was crying out of concern for when Kandice was high, so very high up and jumping off a building, I've finally come to a very hard decision. It was very hard to choose between the two, but I have, and so I'm proud to announce...
Dustin Seltzer, you are Miss Realivision 2007!
If there was an actual crown and ceremony, I'd have Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek, present it to you, but it's all happening in spirit.
Danny and Oswald were my second choice to win. They also remembered to have fun for most of the race, and it was refreshing to see a team stop for refreshments. I started to sour on them a little near the end though when they started getting more grumpy, and especially when Oswald started getting all pissy and guilty about selling the last Yield to the Beauty Queens. Look, Ozzy, you needed the money as you were broke, and the Beauty Queens didn't use it maliciously. Get over it. I'd really hate to see some of these people on Big Brother or Survivor, seeing that we'd be hearing "integrity" get yammered on about more than we already do. And voting someone off? Oh no! That's not a nice thing to do! Yes, all this self-righteous yapping about the Yield got to me. If I was in the game and I got to the Yield first, you can bet I'd use it on someone's ass to give me an advantage.
Not that it mattered either time. Eric and Danielle were very good at coming back from Yields. In fact, the second time they did so well they may well have won that leg if it weren't for the Yield, so it was a good play and got the BQs another prize.
Oh, Eric and Danielle. I so didn't want you two to win, but you just had to go ahead and do that, didn't you? It's not that I hated you, it's just that when your squabbling wasn't annoying me, you bored me. But you won anyway, and I'll especially give props to Eric who is very good at this competition, coming in second the first time, and winning the second. I just wish I never had to see your pierced nipples. Nobody wants to see that.
In case you haven't heard, Eric and Danielle broke up very soon after the race. I guess he couldn't wait to ditch the beard and get back to Jeremy, his original partner, who promised Eric spankings in a strange, pointless phone call at the finish line.
One of the biggest head-scratching decisions from the producers this season was having one non-elimination leg right after the other. When Eric and Danielle were marked for elimination on the first leg, would they have just been marked for elimination the second time as well if they ended up coming in last? It makes no sense, and really takes away from the point of being marked for elimination. Back when they players just had to give up their money and possessions, it would have worked, but with the new rules, it doesn't.
I've also never seen a season where airports and flights have played a bigger role. Obviously they're a big part of every season, but rarely have they screwed so many teams so often. Joyce and Uchenna were eliminated because they chose the wrong flight and couldn't make their connection in time. Other teams wound up so far behind that the frontrunners were starting the next leg before they even reached the mat! I felt bad for them, but it was awesome to see. I'd also like to point out that in that particular leg, Dustin and Candice had come in first so they were the first to leave before those in the back arrived. Whoo hoo!
All in all, it was a good season. There weren't a heck of a lot of great challenges this time around, so that was a bummer (really, count stairs for a fast forward? Go for a ride? Come on). On the other hand, it was the best All-Star season of any of the shows that have had one. There wasn't as much baggage going in, and alliances count for very little thanks to the nature of the game, despite what Mary from Kentucky would like. She'd do very well in The Amazing Picnic, but she's just not cut out for The Amazing Race where people actually want to be ahead of you and aren't horrible, horrible people for doing so. This is why they missed the Chos from their season, another team not made for this game. If there's ever an Amazing Stroll Through The Park, they should apply.
Not having watched every season (to my regret), it was nice to see faces who were new to me this edition. I didn't get to know all of them, as the very first elimination was a team I'd never seen before. There were teams that left me wondering how they got picked for All-Stars. The two bald guys, Kevin and Drew... Were they more entertaining or stronger racers in their original season? Now I know how people who never saw the first season of Big Brother felt upon seeing Chicken George on their All-Stars (I so wanted Brittany back for that, but upon seeing what an abomination that season turned out to be, not only am I glad she wasn't, I'm sorry any of my favourites who were there had to go through that).
There is good news and bad news from CBS about the show. The good news is the Race will be back. The bad news is, it's going to be a wait. Unless there's a big upturn in ratings, we've come to the end of two seasons a year. Luck for us though, there will still be a lot to watch. I'm particular looking forward to the premiere of Pirate Master coming up very soon. Arrrr.

The Apprentice L.A. - Wrap Up

2007-05-20T18:58:00.000-06:00

The fundamental flaw with The Apprentice, other than Donald Trump being a complete ass as a human being, is that the competition is for a job while most of the tasks have no relation to that job at all. If you go in to interview for an accountant position, nobody asks you to bake a pie. You may have to cook some books, but pastries don't come up in the equation at all.
I don't watch America's or Canada's Next Top Model, and I don't watch Project Runway, but I do know that all the tasks in the form require modelling, and all the tasks in the latter require designing clothes. Granted, it would be fun to make them balance a ledger, but that would have nothing to do with the ultimate goal.
Granted, there are things you can learn from watching people perform in Apprentice tasks. Hard working or lazy? Works well with others? A good leader AND a good follower? Quick and creative thinker?
I've never overseen the construction of a building, but I suspect the creative thinking required isn't quite like the creative thinking in putting together a commercial or advertising event. There's a reason companies have departments specifically for marketing.
That said, I'm still disappointed in Heidi. Since I last updated this show, Heidi had won another task as Project Manager, and when it came to measuring up to her previous performances sitting beside Trump, she hit the mark and I thought she had this competition sewn up.
That is, until she teamed up with Frank. The final six got together in teams of two and each had to come up with presentation for a new Trump Towerish Thing, and Heidi and Frank's presentation sucked. The video was nothing, there was no theme, and Heidi wasn't preparted at all to present what they did have, which wasn't like her at all. The thing with the boardroom is, if you have a horrible task but shined throughout the competition up until then, you should be able to save your own butt. Unfortunately for Heidi, sitting across from The Donald instead of beside him, and on the defensive at that, she crashed and burned.
What she needed to do was to admit to screwing up in this task without humming and hawing, without trying to excuse it, just admit to the screw-up but then stand on your record. It might not have worked, but at least it would have been a lot less disappointing for those of us who were behind her.
Kristine was also fired at the same time for not doing well enough on her task (and wasn't given enough time to defend herself, from what we saw, and even with editing she seemed shocked to not have more of a chance). The good news was that both of them took the firing well, having a bit of a laugh and regretting not teaming up with each other (Kristine wanted to prove herself without Heidi). At least they left us with a positive impression.
But there was bad news as well. With those two gone, there was no more original Kinetic, the only people left were the buffoons of Arrow. Crap.
Even crappier than who made the final four was that it was only going to be a final four. Based on this and his other show, Survivor, it seems that executive producer Mark Burnett has found himself with a fetish with groups at the end instead of a final two. For two seasons now, Survivor has had a final three (more on that when I write my Surivor: Fiji entry, which will come after The Amazing Race which will be next), and now The Apprentice gives us a final four going to the final boardroom. It just doesn't work, because it doesn't remove the last people you know don't have a chance, and it's a little cruel because it gives them false hope. Trump may like you, Frank, but you really don't think you were in the running, do you?
However, I could have lived with the lameness of final four if it wasn't for the absolute suckiness of the final task. Instead of the standard bringing together of a charity event, the final task was... making a commercial. Something they've already done for a task, but this one was for movie theatres! Oooh! Nope, sorry, that's a load of crap for a final task. There was no tension, one deadline, no large numbers of people to impress and organize. It was a friggin' commercial. Seriously, am I getting across how horrible a choice I thought this was? Maybe previous final tasks meant they weren't able to get corporate sponsors willing to let them get together two charity events again, but they should have at least come up with their own.
It was a lame ending to a pretty lame season. I really hope this isn't the one they go out on.
Even though it was a final four, it still got whittled down in the boardroom to a final two as the losing team from the lame final task was fired, and it came down to James versus Stephanie.
I didn't care much for James. There was arrogance in him with a dash of hypocrisy (don't make me search for it, but I believe he was complaining about Frank doing exactly the same thing he did a couple of tasks earlier). But Stephanie was pretty much the Invisible Woman all season, and she never once stepped up as Project Manager. As much as she struck me as someone more grounded and ready for the job, never being PM should have been her death knell.
Then Trump told James that James had said something he didn't like, but didn't elaborate it but he said that he knew what he was talking about. I don't know what it was, maybe James stood up and proclaimed himself a Rosie O'Donnell fan, and that the comedian and talk show host has as much right as any other citizen to stand up and speak her beliefs, despite what appears to be a successful conservative effort to demonize and marginalize her. Don't like what Rosie's saying? Shout her down and belittle her! Nobody wants to listen to a fat, ugly pig!
Sorry, this whole thing has been a sore point with me lately, and Trump has been at the forefront of it. I'll keep trying not to get too political in these pages.
All that matters is that Stephanie did something I thought would have been impossible. She won the season without once being Project Manager. I don't know if it would have been possible in a normal season, but this one did have the twist of the winning PM staying in the job until they lose. That does make it more difficult to get the position, but I will still argue that you should fight for the job whenever you get the chance. If the show does manage to come back, I doubt we will ever see someone who has never been PM win again.
I'm not sure how I feel about the winning PM keeping the job, as twists go it's not the best but it's not the worst. I do like that they sit in the boardroom beside Trump as it gives us a chance to see how well they do in that situation. And damn it, nobody did better there this season than Heidi.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - The Finale

2007-05-19T20:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, I know it's been a while. Sorry. There were two reasons for it. One was the usual burnout, but that wouldn't have been as bad if it weren't for this show, and I didn't want to touch the other programs until I got this one done as I don't like to mess up the order. But the thing is, I've had no desire to watch the finale. It's still sitting on a tape, but seeing as the competition was over, the whole thing would have been filler up until the winners were announced.
Who cares about the filler? That's the problem with the Dancing With The Stars results show. I haven't even bothered watching most of them, just flipping over to see who's been eliminated (and let me tell you that Billy Ray Cyrus outlasting Heather Mills was yet another crime audience voting is responsible for).
So how can I write a commentary if I haven't seen the show yet? Because I know who won. Congratulations, Max and Laura!
This should be interesting now when the show opens. There shouldn't be an issue with Laura, as she is very talented. My only concern about her is if she can play the role innocently enough, but that's about it. If too many people care that she's brunette, she can always wear a wig or dye her hair.
The bigger problem is going to be Max. People who watched the show know what a plucky underdog he was and his backstory, the kind of things that helped him get the votes to win. But people who didn't watch? They're going to go in and many will likely respond, "What the hell? That's Danny?"
It's unfortunately, but it's a reality in show business and in life. Personally, I'd love to see the show on Broadway and see how he does, if he's going to be able to pull it off despite not being quite what most people imagine Danny Zuko to be.
There have been people so upset at the result that they've cancelled their tickets. I have no sympathy for those idiots. Anyone paying attention could have predicted Max and Laura would win (I'd like to pat myself on the back here and note that I called it), but even to those who didn't think it was obvious, it should still have been too big of a gamble to buy tickets expecting certain people to win. If you were stupid enough to buy tickets like this, suck it up and go see the winners perform. To do otherwise gets you called an idiot in this blog.
If people were trying to beat the rush, I think the ratings for Grease: You're The One That I Want should have told them not to sweat it. Trying to get tickets to see it on Broadway before it closes? Now that's something else. That I can understand. I really hope I remember to check out reviews and such when it opens. I don't know what kind of contract the winners signed and if it gives the producers outs, but if they were smart, they will be prepared to let the winners go and have understudies ready to go on that more fit what people want to see. Yes, it sucks. Don't you think I'd love to be able to step in front of a camera? But no, I'm a hideous troll and I know that I will never make it as Canada's Next Top Model. Canada's Next Top Sideshow? Sure, of course!
Now there's a show I'd watch, as long as it wasn't exploitative.
Anyway, little of this is new. This is the sort of thing I've been saying all season. If having Max as Danny affects ticket sales, hey, they're the ones that put him through to the competition. Not that they had much choice. I know there are a lot of talented men out there but why they didn't audition for the show is beyond me.
So break a leg, Max and Laura. I can't say you were my choices (though Laura was close with some awesome performances), but you were both at the top of the competition and I hope you kick butt.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 25

2007-04-02T20:25:00.000-06:00

Okay, another short one while I play catch up.

This episode began with Kinetic being down by two members. As far as Trump was concerned, this was akin to them being "decimated". I could go back and look at who won what task, or try to remember, but a little simple math and the memory of one event will help us. A while back, Arrow was on a losing streak so a member of Kinetic had to go over to their team. That was Surya. Now if Surya stayed on his original team, they would have only been down by one. So this "decimated" team has only lost one more task than their rivals.
That didn't matter. Trump wanted to even them out. James, as the current project manager, was told to find a volunteer and if nobody stepped forward, he was to choose someone.
Not only was Arrow on a bit of a winning streak, these are two very different teams with very different approaches, so nobody wanted to do it. I never did grasp what convoluted reasoning James used, but he picked Nicole to go over. You know, the one with the nascent romance with Tim. Nicole wasn't at all pleased that Tim didn't fight to keep her on Arrow or that James got rid of her so quickly and easily, so she wanted nothing more than to beat those two in the next task. And a little coochie coochie with Tim.
She wasn't about to be project manager though. Things were shaky for Angela after the last task, and being the only remaining member from the original Kinetic still in the competition who hasn't been PM, it was her turn to step up.
The task this time around was to sell passes to Universal Studios Hollywood. There really wasn't much to do on this one. Pick a strategy and go with it. Kinetic chose to sell on rollerskates (not rollerblades, as Ivanka kept saying), and Arrow went with a table and signs.
Usually the tasks take place in separate locations for the different teams, but this time they were all in the same place and competing for the same customers. Arrow was out for blood, at times outraging Kinetic with their tactics. They're competing to work for Donald Trump though. I've got a tiny, niggling feeling that he's just a wee bit not bothered by a little dirty play as long as it wins the task.
And in this case, it did win the task and by a very comfortable margin. I actually liked the rollerskate idea better because it was a lot more fun, but you can't argue with results.
The reward for winning was a helicopter ride over Los Angeles. Followed by a ferris wheel, some cotton candy, and balloons for everyone. No, I kid. The helicopter ride would be cool.
For the boardroom, eeeeeehhhhhhhhh... The problem is the idea wasn't that bad, and it wasn't that they lost the task through horrible choices or disruptive teammates, they were just beat by a better idea. Heidi and Kristine were safe short of doing something very stupid in the boardroom.
Speaking of Heidi, yet again, How Did The Winning Project Manager Compare to Heidi?
James improved his performance greatly this week. He didn't look as sweaty being there (though there was a sheen), and he did come out and ask a question confidently and forcefully. It was even a decent question. It was only one question, but he did it well. On a Heidi scale of 10, I'll give James a good 8.5 for the job he did. Well done! Lose the sheen, you'd get a 9. Ask another question or two, and don't sound so angry, you'd even better yet.
So Heidi and Kristine were safe. The only reason Nicole might be in danger is that being the new kid on the team, the others might be able to put some of the blame on her. Unfortunately for Angela though, this was one of those challenges where, despite the HUGE gap in money made (it was a good $7000), nobody really deserved to go so it had to be the project manager who had the final say in all decisions.
See? A short entry. Luckily it happened with a week where there wasn't too much to say mostly because I really don't care about the Tim/Nicole relationship woes. For that to intrigue me, they'd have had to make me care about them as individuals in the first place. Granted, they're nowhere near as annoying as Frank, but they're not really charming me over to their side.
Gads, I can't wait for Frank to leave.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 25

2007-04-01T19:55:00.000-06:00

Holy friggin' crap, this episode was all about the airport, wasn't it?
It seems like Dar Es Salaam is the most popular vacation spot on the planet, because every team had issues getting there as every team had to fly stand-by.
The first place win helped Charla and Mirna tremendously here, as they managed to get the first shot at seats on all flights and got a huge lead over all the other teams.
It wasn't even close, people.
This insane day at the airport was frustrating to the teams, and probably boring to any viewers who wanted to see more action. Not me. I loved every minute of it. You know who else probably loved it? Joyce and Uchenna. If you remember, they came in last on the previous leg, and so were marked for elimination. That meant if they didn't come in first this leg, they would incur a 30 minute penalty. Remembering that this is just a commentary and not a recap, I can say that penalty didn't make any difference at all. In fact, they got so far ahead of the next closest team, the Beauty Queens (yay!), that Kandice and Dustin still hadn't reached the Pit Stop by the time the penalty came to an end.
Before I go on any further, I just want to let you know this is going to be a short one. I was very tired last week, so tired I didn't event want to think of writing. Then this weekend other stuff came up, and when I wasn't doing that, I was pretty zombified. Sorry.
But speaking of short ones, Charla and Mirna made it to Dar Es Salaam first, where they had to take a boat to their next clue. However, because of allegedly inclement weather, the captain wouldn't take them out until early the next morning.
This allowed Danny and Oswald to catch up to them where Oswald made a joke about a certain bench being where they, um, "worked", that wasn't ha-ha funny (unlike my hiiiiilarious recaps and commentaries (dang, I hit my high point with Treasure Hunters)), but the fact that it went completely over Charla and Mirna's heads was great. And right there is where I show what a classy joint this is. I made one short comment earlier (I hesitate to call it a "joke"), but I let that part about going over Charla and Mirna's heads go right by. That's why this is where the swells come to get their fancy television writing.
Ugh. I'm not going to even going to try to figure out who was where and when. Eric and Danielle were given their seats by mistake, which led to one of the highlights of the season - seeing them being asked to kindly leave the aircraft. So this gave three teams a lead over them, leaving them stranded with Ian, Teri, Bill and Joe at the airport. He wasn't vocalizing it, but you just know Eric was thinking, "Eww, old people! Ick! Ick!"
However, because they were removed from the last flight, they got the only seats on the next flight, leaving the oldsters of the season with more airport waiting to do.
Seriously, it was so bad that I think teams were still there at around the half-hour mark on the episode. I think all the teams made it to Johannesburg from Mozambique, but it's all a jumble of ticket counters and the joie de vivre of hanging around airports. This leg wasn't even going to be close. There was at least a good day or so between the first place and last place teams.
To make matters worse for our two fogey teams, Eric and Danielle were able to get the next flight while they still had to wait. There are going to have to be some serious equalization points to bring the whole pack back together. You know that things are horribly awry when Mirna and Charla come in first two legs in a row! Oops. Spoiler.
Ah, let's just look at the Detour. Solve It or Schlep It. In Solve it, teams had to do a nifty puzzle. In Schlep it, they had to carry two huge, misshapen logs on a cart. Some teams did one, some the other. Of the first place teams, Oswald and Danny finished first, but they stopped for some fruit on the way to the Roadblock, allowing Charla and Mirna to overtake them.
At the Roadblock, one of the teammates had to use a throwing weapon called a Rungu to destroy a clay target and get their next clue. Mirna triumphed, and they got their second first place finish. Their prize for winning this leg? A pair of catamarans. The blank looks on their faces made me scream, "BOATS! CATAMARANS ARE BOATS, YOU PATRONIZING TO NON-ENGLISH SPEAKERS IDIOTS!"
Is it wrong to so thoroughly dislike a team but enjoy them at the same time? I so don't want them to win, but damn, it just wouldn't be the same without them if they don't make it to third place behind the second place Oswald and Danny and first place, million dollar winning Kandice and Dustin.
So Oswald and Danny came in next, followed by Joyce and Uchenna who waited half an hour and the Beauty Queens still didn't show up (I can't for the life of me remember how they got so far behind), but at least the BQs came in fourth. Eric and Danielle made their way boringly to the mat, leaving two more teams. See? I haven't given everything away.
Bill and Joe arrived in sixth place, meaning Teri and Ian were eliminated, leaving one less geriatric team around to remind Eric that he will age and his pierce nipples will sag.

Anyway, sorry that was so truncated. Except for the Grease finale, expect to see that until I'm caught up again. Heck, I still have to write up last week's Apprentice and as I look at the clock, this week's is starting in about five minutes. Urgh.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired March 21

2007-03-27T20:30:00.000-06:00

I wonder if Survivor's producers, after Stephenie became the last member standing of the Ulong tribe a few seasons back, came up with something they might possibly call the "Palau Contingency", a plan disguised as a twist just in case one tribe keeps getting their butts handed to them immunity after immunity. Heck, at least Ulong managed to win a reward challenge or two. Ravu can barely even win our sympathy.
This possible contingency plan likely states that if one tribe loses often enough, rather than have them just keep losing until the merge, things will be shaken up and the tribes remixed.
After all, what are the odds that this particular twist would happen on the season where one tribe wouldn't win a challenge if it was "Guess which hand I'm hiding a quarter in"?
So the tribes were reforming. Earl from Ravu and Edgardo from Moto got to be the "captains" and choose who they'd like to have on their teams. To nobody's surprise on the first season where only members of one sex have been voted out so far, they each pick a guy. Everyone had to pick from the opposing tribe, so Edgardo chose Mookie and Earl chose "Boo". Yeah. Mookie picked a guy too, but "Boo" chose Michelle. Oh! That was unexpected! Edgardo's team picked man after man, but Michelle called out Cassandra's name! Don't you get it, Michelle? You have to choose strong! STRONG!
It was interesting to see it all shape up. Earl's team ended up with Stacy and Yau-Man as well, while the "weakest" member of Edgardo's team was Anthony. Personally, I think the weakest member of that tribe is "Rocky", but more on that later.
It did come down to Yau-Man versus Lisi at the end, and when Yau-Man was picked, Lisi was sent off to Exile Island where she would remain until after Tribal Council, when she would then join the losing tribe. Like that worked out really well for Sylvia.
Lisi didn't take any of this well and started talking about how her time on Survivor was over, raising the ire of host Jeff Probst. Jeff doesn't like to hear people talk about quitting, damn it! I'm sure he's got Osten locked away in a dungeon somewhere, but the FBI won't take my calls seriously enough to investigate.
After the tribes were picked and Lisi was carted off to her snake-infested island, there was only one matter left to settle. Who would get the luxury of Moto's camp?
In one of the greatest reward challenges ever, Edgardo got to pick one of two buffs out of a bag!
Sometimes good things do happen in life, and Edgardo picked the Ravu buff, meaning this new Ravu tribe would have to go back to the crappy Ravu camp and the new Moto would get to go on to the sweet island life.
I admit, I was a bit biased against Edgardo's tribe because it was all men. The sexist nature of much of the voting has driven me to that. Ravu kept voting out woman after woman, yet they still kept losing. This fetish for physical strength obviously hasn't been the issue. And never mind that a couple of the woman voted out were physically stronger than Yau-Man. He's a man, it even says so in his name! That makes him strong! Seriously, it's been driving me crazy.
This kind of sexism isn't new to Survivor, but it reached new lows with this episode and with this new Ravu tribe. I'm not saying they're Saudi or Taliban bad, but damn, the Ravu tribesmen were full of themselves for having penises and as such would own the rest of the season! Booya!
In 14 seasons of Survivor, there were tribes I've wanted to win or lose so bad I could taste it. The aforementioned Ulong in Palau, Morgan in the Pearl Islands, Yasur on Vanuatu, and heck, Aitu last season, all teams I loved to see win and really, so very much wanted to see win. None of it has come close to how much I wanted to see Moto win immunity this week and send the sexist pigs to Tribal Council. Granted, not all of them are sexist. Anthony didn't come across that way, and the guy was seen as the weakest member of the tribe and treated like it. Especially by "Rocky".
Screw it, "Rocky". That's the last time I'm going to use that stupid nickname on you, James. Up until now, James has been loud and obnoxious with the worst of his sexism coming out when he couldn't stand Rita talking as a woman with another woman. His hatred of women came out in full force in this episode, along with his hatred of men he perceives as weak, or as he kept referring to Anthony, "effeminate".
Ladies and Gentlemen, we finally have a full-blown villain for this season. Unfortunately, he's not an entertaining one like Mirna and Charla are on The Amazing Race. No, sadly he's just a homophobic, misogynistic asshole with too high an opinion of himself. It's my blog, I can use that language if I want.
It was impossible to take him seriously when he told us that he loves women. He loves talking to them, though that claim doesn't hold up well considering that he went after Rita because she, you know, talked. He loves being with them, he loves paying for sex with them... Okay, he didn't say that last part, but he clearly sees women who aren't his family as lesser beings and quite possibly as objects. Hell, how did he insult Anthony? But comparing him to a woman and calling him "effeminate". That brought to light not only his misogyny, but his homophobia too. If the cameras weren't on him, I wonder if he would have used even more derogatory terminology. Maybe he did, but the producers opted not to show it.
Oh, and he's a bully too. A misogynistic, homophobic bully. The way he treated Anthony around camp, expecting the man to do all his work while putting up with his verbal assaults was horrendous. Good on Anthony on not letting loose and punching him in the throat, because damn, James deserved it.
So yeah, James has now beaten "Jonny Fairplay", Scout, and Twila as my most disliked Survivor contestant ever. Congratulations, jackass.
I thought it would be too much to ask after the testosterone squad ended up as Ravu that they'd also lose the immunity. Daaaaaamn, I wanted them to lose. There's no way to get such goodness twice in one episode.
The great thing about watching it on tape, which is what I did with this episode, is being able to fast forward through the competition. There was just too much at stake for me to be able to handle the mistake. Once Moto won and I let the cheers out, I rewound it and watched everything unfold. Damn, that was the sweetest win ever.
Now we were finally going to get to see a man voted out. It wasn't as good as it would have been if there would have been at least one woman on that tribe (Lisi will be joining them next week, so after the way she treated "Dreamz" and Cassandra, maybe there really is some karma in the universe), but it was going to be nice to see.
Unfortunately it was looking like that man was going to be Anthony, someone James convinced everyone else is the weakest link. Anthony didn't just stand by and let this happen though. He made sure he let the others know just how much negativity James brings to the tribe, and oh, does he ever.
Instead of all those women being voted out one by one, I wonder how much better Ravu would have been if they got rid of James early. He hasn't done anything to keep them in contention at the challenges, and he has been a hugely negative force in camp. There was no reason to get rid of Rita other than that she annoyed him, and he's quickly turned on any alliances he's had.
One small problem that escaped both James and Anthony is that by turning on themselves, neither of them are going to have numbers on their side. Whichever one goes, that leaves the other and Mookie as the only two original members of Ravu, and when Lisi joins them next week, that will be Edgardo, Alex, "Dreamz" and Lisi from the original Moto against Mookie and whoever is left. What they needed to do was stick together, and feel out who would most likely flip from Moto. Last week "Dreamz" couldn't wait for the merge so he could change sides. Nobody but us knew this, but nobody will know it if they don't try to find out these things.
Earl on the new Moto is becoming Realivision's choice to win this season. He was smart enough to know that numbers matter on Survivor, and he was able to get Cassandra over on his side. Luckily they never had to go to Tribal Council, but if they did, I strongly suspect it would have been a former Moto member going home. Sadly it would have been Stacy as the only other choice would have been "Boo" and why would they vote him off when there's another woman they could send packing? Damn, I'm really hoping the women have noticed this particular numbers issue. The best they (and Yau-Man) can hope for now is that once the merge happens, the manly men start picking each other off.
There is an amazing lack of foresight on the show this season. The only people we've seen really thinking ahead have been Alex, Earl, and "Dreamz". Most of the old Moto were happy where they were, and the old Ravu were just wanting to try and win the next challenge, concentrating on strength even though it was puzzles that kept doing them in. This is making any actual strategizing a breath of fresh air. Too bad for the former Ravu that they're stuck with a genius like James on the new Ravu. Done right, this mixing of the tribes could have been the best thing that ever happened to them.
Before getting to Tribal Council, something happened on the new Ravu that left me questioning the producers. They caught fish. Normally this wouldn't be worth noting, but the old Ravu never got fishing equipment. So how did the new tribe get fishing line? If they're going to do this twist, then the new tribes should have exactly what the old tribes did, nothing more, nothing less.
Okay, Tribal Council. As expected, it was down to James versus Anthony. James continued to be a bully, calling Anthony "effeminate" and berated him for his lack of social skills. You may think you do, but you don't truly know the meaning of "irony" until you've seen James bitching about someone else's lack of social skills.
The looks on the faces of the men who weren't going home as James kept flapping his hateful gums gave me hope. Anthony did tell them what a negative influence this ass was, and they were obviously seeing it. Or just feeling bad for Anthony. I really hope they weren't feeling bad for Anthony because they felt like this crap was something he needed to hear. He doesn't. He's fine just the way he is. I'll take a dozen of him over one James any day.
I did like how he stuck up for himself, though I would have thrown a couple of f-bombs at the f-wad. He wondered if being a jerk was what it took to be a strong, manly man, and he didn't think they needed the extra drama and negativity in camp. Well, maybe he should have been an ass, because the new Ravu voted him out.
Unbelievable. James is an idiot and has never, as far as I can remember, been a physical asset. Maybe because he's so loud and obnoxious he comes across as stronger than he is, but he's only going to keep dragging Ravu down for as long as he's in the game.
Though with the new tribe dynamics and wanting to see Ravu keep losing, I'm not so sure that's a bad thing.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired March 18

2007-03-25T09:38:00.000-06:00

Can you believe it? From the highs and lows of the auditions to the disappointment of Grease Academy not being all it could and should be to some great and not-so-great performances, we've finally come to this, the finals. One more Danny and one more Sandy will be going home, then the final four will compete for the last time for audience votes, and then one more episode to go, the season (and possibly series) finale.
Coming out to perform "Rock'n'roll Is Here To Stay", the final six did a pretty good job of making it actually sound like rock'n'roll which has been one of the biggest flaws with the competitors through the season. Was it perfect? No. But it was fun and that's what really matters.
There was some stuff with the contestants talking on video as to how much they want this, blah blah blah. I know I generally gloss over this video stuff, but that's because it doesn't really matter. The only thing about it is that the contestants should be a lot more careful with their words, as the voting public tends to favour humble over arrogant, or even confident for that matter.
We didn't have to wait for the results of last week, as there was no way to build the suspense without making the ousted auditioners compete for nothing.
First up were the Sandys. To nobody's surprise, Laura was safe. Then Billy Bush called Ashley's name, and he did his best to keep some suspense here. He did so well (and it's rare you'll ever see me compliment Billy Bush) that Ashley obviously thought she was leaving. I'm not exaggerating when I say "obviously". The emotions that played over her face were all over the place, but the dawning horror that came with the thought that she was about to be told that she was done was very visible and you could see the tears start welling up. After stringing her along long enough, Billy told her she was safe, and it all disappeared to be replaced by joy.
Manipulating emotions and breaking hearts. That's good television!
So Allie was gone, and she took the news like a real trooper. But don't let it get you down, kid, you're goin' places! (Imagine the last two sentences being spoken by someone in a movie from the Forties, as that's how it sounded in my head when I wrote them.)
Because these were the last eliminations before the finale, Allie got a nice little video tribute showing her journey from the auditions until now. That was sweet.
Next were the Dannys, and Austin was... pause for dramatic effect... safe. And the other Danny proceding on would be... after this commercial break.
Of course they never screw with minds the same way twice in a row, so when Derek's name was called next, it wasn't looking good for him. Sure enough, the best looking Danny and John Stamos' double was gone, and Max moved on.
Derek got his video journey as well, but he also got something Allie didn't. A word from one of the panel members. Kathleen was sad to see him go, and she said she was sure they would work together again. So I guess because Allie didn't get any similar encouragement, Kathleen must think the closest they'll ever work together again is when Allie asks her if she'd like fries with that. Don't be so mean, Kathleen. Allie rocks.
The competition would be different this week. Instead of singing their own songs, the Sandys and Dannys would be singing together so we could more easily compare and contrast them. I like this idea. It would have been a little tedious to see it carried throughout the season, but for one episode? Cool.
Laura and Ashley - Oh, this is one of those biggie songs, one of Sandy's biggest moments in Grease and frankly the only song in the whole thing I really don't care for - "Hopelessly Devoted To You". Laura has the stronger voice, but Ashley not only held her own, I actually liked her whole peformance (including the acting during the song) a little better. Still, this was a little too close to call.
Possibly because these were the finals, the panel didn't have any commentary after the song. Instead, each of the women got a video from a loved one. Laura had to push her wedding back because of this competition, and her fiance got to let her know how all their plans were coming along. Ashley's was more weepy with her sister letting her know how proud she was of her, despite early sibling rivalry over the whole theatre thing that came up after Ashley hurt herself and could no longer do ballet. She wishes she could be there, but unfortunately she couldn't afford the flight... If it weren't for the fans. Apparently a lot of people on the NBC message board came together to buy a ticket for Ashley's sister to come see her, and so she was able to be in the audience providing her support.
Audience voting is never on talent alone, so the winner from this video showdown has to be Ashley. The viewers like weepy.
The women then got to give a plea to the audience to vote for them, and they both seemed pretty even here.
Austin and Max - We've been hearing part of this song all season. The Dannys had to sing "Sandy", but fortunately for both of them it wasn't on the way out. I thought Austin sang more strongly, but Max acted it better and gave the right emotion for the lyrics.
Instead of videos from loved ones, the guys instead gave video interviews where they said what this competition means to them. Austin sees this as his last shot. He feels he needs to be somehwere by a certain age, and if this doesn't do it for him, it might be the end. Eh. I'm sorry, but if you really love performing, you will still do it even if you don't become a star. He should also be happy he's not a woman, or that age limit would be so much younger.
Max let us know he had Bell's Palsy as a child, and so he had to relearn how to use his face. He said because of this, it hurts when people say he's not "conventional looking" (though he isn't a conventional looking Danny, and that would be the case even without the palsy). No matter what else happens, I've got a strong feeling this video won the competition for Max. It's one thing to be a spunky underdog, but to overcome this too? He has this in the bag.
Billy then informed us that the margin between their votes from the previous week was about 1%. Yeah, that video surely put Max over the edge. The two men got their turn to plead for votes, but really, unless Austin started sharing how he was able to overcome years in a wheelchair, he's not going to beat Max no matter how hard he pleads.
There was still a lot of time left in the show, and I was wondering how they were going to fill it. It turned out the competition wasn't over yet. To help the audience judge chemistry, the Dannys and Sandys were going to take turns singing with each other.
The first song was "Endless Love", and the first couple was...
Austin and Ashley - Ashley was great, Austin not so much. But fortunately there was some chemistry there. Enough to make up for the difference in singing ability? I don't know.
Max and Laura - Laura was great, Max not so much. The women have outclassed the men throughout this whole process, and sadly enough we're at the final four and they still continue to do outshine. I'm afraid that no matter who becomes Danny, they're not going to be as good as Sandy and that could hurt the show. Max did put more emotion into the song than Danny, but I didn't feel any chemistry from this pairing which isn't good, as they seem to be the favourites.
It was then time to switch up and sing "I Had The Time Of My Life".
Laura and Austin - This was a much better song for Austin. So much so, I have to say this was my favourite performance of his yet. He was very strong through the whole song, and he did it in his baritone range, a range he seems to be a lot more comfortable and enjoyable in. He and Laura were very good together, and showed quite a bit of chemistry.
Ashley and Max - Neither of them were as strong as the other two here, but they were still pretty darned good. There was a lot more chemistry for Max with Ashley than there was between him and Laura.
Not that it matters. Based on the cheers in the audience alone, Max has this sewn up. If he does, it will be interesting to see how people who go see Grease on Broadway but have never seen this show will accept him.
Now that all the competitive singing was over, we finally got to hear from the panel.
Kathleen would love any one of them in the show, but who does she see most as a greaser and his high school sweetheart? Max and Laura.
Really? I know a lot of people love these two individually, but I felt no sparks at all between the two of them in their song.
Jim said the characters have evolved over the years, and he wouldn't have it any other way. Max and Laura were the two for him as well.
Oh come on. Am I the only one who was left cold by their duet?
David thought it came down to Austin's looks versus Max's humour, and that Max made him laugh so he feels America will fall in love with him, so he "edges it" for him. The women were almost too close to call, but Laura got it by that much just for passion alone.
I really hope for the sake of this Broadway production that I'm wrong about this lack of chemistry between Max and Laura if they win. However, I'm not so sure Laura's going to go all the way.
Yes, she's blown us away with many of her peformances, and by that measure alone she should get this. But as I've said many times, that's not all an audience votes on. She's always seemed a little... I don't want to insult her and I don't mean this in an insulting way... "colder" than Ashley, as well as a little less innocent. I don't mean Laura is cold and hardened by the ways of the world, but her emotions seem to be a little less close to the surface than Ashley, and that could hurt her despite her strong voice.
The Sandy votes could really go either way, and Ashley had enough strong performances this night to sway people who wanted to vote for her emotionally. I'd bet money on Max winning, but I wouldn't bet on the Sandys.
Finally we got to say goodbye to Derek and Allie.
Derek's version of "Sandy" was too upbeat for me, and his "Oh, Sandy!" at the end was with a smile. This made it so much easier to see him go. This last song is where they should be showing us what a big mistake it was to not vote for them, and "Sandy" needs to be full of longing.
Allie's "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" was triumphant, a very nice way to end the last competitive episode of the season.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 18

2007-03-24T17:12:00.000-06:00

Donald Trump is no stranger to hyperbole, but when the potential Apprentices met him on the set of NBC's soap opera Passions, he reached either a new high or low, depending on how you want to look at it. Either way, it was funny. It's obvious that The Apprentice is pre-taped, and this particular season was done some time ago, when The Donald referred to the recently cancelled Passions as one of "NBC's top-rated shows". As far as soaps go, this one has been a basement dweller since its inception, and now its end is coming.
It was an awesome moment made all that much better by the fact that the task, while related to soap operas, had nothing to do with the goings on in Harmony. Yeah, I watched Passions when it first came out, but the story lines dragged on for so friggin' long I lost patience and now I just stick to Days Of Our Lives.
The task this week was to make a 45 second "webisode" for Soft Scrub Deep Clean Foaming Cleanser. All I want to know is will it make me feel clean again after just plugging it? So dirty... So very dirty... Won't wash off! Now I know how the executives who would be judging this feel.
After he came close to being fired last week, Arrow's James decided the best thing for him to do would be to step up and be the project manager. This always happens when someone has a tough boardroom, but nobody should be letting themselves get into that position in the first place. You shouldn't be stepping into the PM role because now you feel you have something to prove. You should be clamouring for it from the start of the game, and you should be doing your damnedest to make sure Trump has no reason to fire you even if you lose, and I don't mean by covering your ass. Yes, if you have doubts about your team's approach to a task, air them early on, but once that's done, dig in and work as hard and as well as your can.
Over at Kinetic, Kristine got to remain PM after her win last week. She lucked into the half-time show, something she's done before, but now she has to create an entertaining and informative 45 second story, something outside her comfort zone.
The problems she had with Muna last week surfaced again, with Muna questioning things again and not wanting to work behind the camera. Allowing her to be one of the performers was a mistake on both their parts. When trying to communicate with an audience through a webcast, clarity is the most important thing and as cool as Muna's accent is, it's not the right thing to have on camera for this task in this format.
That wasn't Kristine's only mistake though. While Heidi and Muna were busy filming, she and Angela went out to do some shopping. Why? What is it about shopping that Angela couldn't have done by herself? Without a director behind the camera, things were not going well.
The only thing that might save Kinetic was Arrow's particularly lame production. We've discovered from this experience that not only can nobody on Arrow act, their idea of a performance is TALKING VERY LOUD!
"HEY HONEY, LOOK WHAT I DID! I CLEANED THE BATHROOM WITH THIS NEW SOFT SCRUB CLEANSER!"
"WONDERFUL! I'VE JOINED THE FOREIGN LEGION!"
"EMILY, NOOOOOO!"
"ENJOY YOUR CLEAN BATHROOM, BRICK!"
Despite how atrocious their production was, Arrow was very pleased with it in the editing room. No so much with Kinetic, where Muna was so hard to understand in places that they had to edit out quite a bit just to make their webisode someone understandable. I don't know what their time limit was, or what resources they had available, but I was wondering if there was any way they could have dubbed over it all. Heck, if things were so far lost, I would have tried a comedic approach and dubbed the whole thing over in Spanish with obviously mismatched lipsynching then put in English subtitles.
Unfortunately, because so much was cut out, Kinetic also lost a lot of the product placement. If they had Kristine in front of the camera, they might well have won this task by having a more entertaining production, but they didn't and Arrow won this week.
Arrow's reward for winning was to fly to Sacramento in a private jet and meet the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Honestly, there was a time where I thought that would have been cool to meet him, but not so much anymore. They enjoyed it though.
The firing was obviously going to be between Kristine and Muna, though you never know what could set off Trump in the boardroom. For the first time ever, we really saw a crack in Heidi's boardroom performance. When Trump asked her who she thought should be fired, she tried so hard to be diplomatic and not hurt the feelings of anyone she liked, she frustrated The Donald who just wanted her to make a decision.
Considering that he asked her what's happened, that she started out as a superstar but has been on the losing team way too often now, this wasn't the time for her to be diplomatic. When Trump asks you who should be fired, give him a name. If you must, say, "I have a lot of respect for her, but I would fire Muna." Trump liked Muna, and he did see how Kristine cost her team this task. However, Muna certainly contributed to the loss too. So with a tough decision on his mind, let's give him time to think as we look at our weekly feature, How Did The Winning Project Manager Compare to Heidi?
James was another quiet one. He did ask a question without prompting from Trump, always a good thing, but it was just one question. His comfort level didn't seem to be where it could be sitting at The Hair's side. A middling performance, not one that said, "There's The Apprentice!"
In the end, Muna paid the price for the loss this week. She didn't go out as angry as Aimee, but she wasn't as fine with the firing as Derek and Jenn were. She definitely wasn't pleased, that's for sure.
This leaves us with three members left on Kinetic versus five on Arrow, so don't be surprised to see a shake-up on the next episode. While I'd love to see Heidi take another turn at project manager and save her reputation, the way the season is set up for this now means Angela really should be getting that position as she hasn't taken a turn yet and she should fight tooth and nail to get the job.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 18

2007-03-20T22:11:00.000-06:00

It's strange, this first episode without Rob and Amber. I'm not used to seeing them leave so early in any of these shows. The good news is that the race doesn't seem to be a lock for any one team now. Hell, even Mirna and Charla might come in first at some point. I know, and pigs will fly!
Thanks to the ending that surprised everyone, the second biggest bit of news from this episode was completely overlooked. Any other episode, except last week's, would have everyone buzzing about this. Eric, yes, that Eric, showed some personality! Unfortunately that personality includes such descriptors as "asshole-ish" and "somewhat homophobic". Joe and Bill aren't my two favourite racers either, but shouting "Freak freak freak!" at them was uncalled for. It wouldn't have been so bad if Eric hadn't then referred to them as "queens" in an interview seconds after this happened.
There is no need to like Joe and Bill (The Guidos), and the way they overreacted to Eric telling his driver to make it look like they were trying to pass them was ridiculous. I'm talking Mirna-level ridiculous here. But that's no excuse for homophobic insults, Mr. Nipple Rings Possibly Trying To Overcompensate For Something.
All of this overshadowed yet another big piece of news - the race finally left South America! Whoo hoo! From Argentina, the teams went all the way to Mozambique in Africa! With this being the All-Star season, it would have been nice to see them fit as many continents as possible, but now it's likely that either Europe or Asia will be skipped, damn it. Not only would have been nice to see the teams race through both, it would have been cool to see them have to go through Australia and Antarctica too. Australia is still a possibility, but considering how close they just were to Antarctica only to go in a completely different direction, that's not going to happen. A race through all seven continents really would have added to something calling itself "All-Stars".
Okay, that out of the way, before finding out they were leaving the country, the teams first had to find their clue. They took a lift up and hiked up to Marial Glacier, a glacier that looked pretty haggard and all melty-like. I won't get into global warming though, as I'll soon be getting preachy over something else.
After getting off the lift and before they started their hike, the teams had to grab backpacks what had avalanche beacons that they would use to find other beacons in the snow, and it was there where they would find their next clue.
It went fairly smoothly for most of the teams. Some had an easier time than others. One team, however, didn't read their whole clue before hiking to the glacier and so had to go all the way back to the lift to get their backpacks. Why must you break my heart like this, Kandice and Dustin? The Beauty Queens are a kickass team, but they keep making careless mistakes, something I hope all this extra hiking helped cure them of.
Fortunately Oswald and Danny were having a very hard time working out the beacon, so they were the last team to leave. You know, I wouldn't worry about being the last team to leave this early in a leg, because there's bound to be a time equalizer somewhere. Still, you don't want to take that chance either.
Okay, now the teams left for Africa, we got that unpleasantness between Eric and The Guidos, and yes, that part happened at a time equalizer anyway as they had to wait for a park to open so they could do their next task.
The Roadblock was cool and scary this week. Scary because thanks to war, Mozambique is littered with landmines, a deadly threat to its citizens, and especially its children. It kinda makes the whole "making a game of this" thing seem a little heartless. But if it helps to educate, that's a good thing. The cool part of it was the giant rats that are trained to search for landmines. How giant were these rats? Think of a small dog. Yeah, that big. Phil Keoghan was even cradling one in his arms as he was describing the task. If you have to cradle it in your arms, that's one monster rodent.
One of the teammates had to choose a rat and use it to find a deactivated mine, and there they would also find a race marker, which would get them their clue. Not taking a chance that the mines weren't properly deactivated, the racers only had to find it, some poor local would have to dig. To make this task easier, the rats were attached to strings and could only go back and forth in a straight line. Once they found the mine, they'd start digging. The racer would then say they believe the mine is there, their local help would go over it with a metal detector, and if correct, would start digging, praying fervently that their last day on Earth wouldn't be spent helping some American game show contestant win a million dollars.
For the most part, the racers were able to get through this task without incident. Some took a little longer than others, but the only one who really had a problem was Charla. Whether it was impatience, or if she was too busy getting righteously outraged over all the other rats daring to do better than hers, she wasn't paying enough attention and as the rat would start digging, she got it to move on. Not that it mattered for long, because one commercial break later, she finally noticed the rat digging, and they got their clue. It was nice to see this task end without any Mozambicans being blown up.
Now with everyone on the road again, it was time to go back to the town they started from, Maputo, find their next clue, and on to the Detour.
"Pamper or Porter?" The choice, as always, was between two tasks. The teams would either have to travel to a market and paint fingernails to try and raise 30 metecais (about one U.S. dollar), or they'd have to travel to another market, use their hands to fill ten 45-pound (about 20.4 kg) bags with coal then carry one of those bags to a specific address where the owner would hand them their next clue. I always wonder how the producers get some of these tasks set up, especially when they have to go to regular homes. Do they go to random houses and ask if they'd like a free bag of coal? The people who answer the doors, while having the clues, always seem to be a little surprised that this really is happening.
Phil let's us know something the racers aren't aware of... In Maputo, it's usually men who paint fingernails for pay. This led to every man in the race choosing to do the coal task, incorrectly believing that it might be harder for them to get customers.
The two all-female teams, however, went with the nails. Sure, it's usually men who do this in Maputo, but how often does one get the chance in Mozambique to have her nails coloured by a blonde little person and her cousin both talking in insulting accents? Not very often, my friends! Not very often. Heck, how often does one get that chance in Canada or the United States? Not very often, my friends!
So while the majority of the teams were digging through coal all hot and sweaty, Charla and Mirna pulled off a feat most thought impossible. They came in first. First they knock out Rob and Amber then they come in first? Up is down, black is white, Horatio Sanz is funny!
There is a downside to this, of course. They are still Charla and Mirna, so they're going to see this as a vindication of their self-righteous, hypocritical ways. God or karma saw to it that they won this leg as a reward for being such fantastically good people who know that any language barrier can be overcome as long as you use a horrible, patronizing accent!
But damn, if they aren't entertaining. I don't want to see them win, but I would like to see them make it to fourth or fifth place just because they make for good television.
The team I do want to see win, despite the mistakes they've made, came in second. Well done, Beauty Queens! They finally kicked the fourth place or lower habit they've developed this season. Now if only they can get a few first place finishes in. Or even just one where it really, really counts.
Now I said earlier that all the men chose to do the coal task. That doesn't mean all of them actually did it. Despite Ian wanting to do the coal, he and Teri got lost and wound up at the wrong market. Rather than waste time trying to find the correct one, they decided to do the fingernail polish despite Ian's trepidations. They managed to get two young ladies to agree to have their nails done for, what was to them, an obscenely expensive price. With that done, Teri and Ian headed to the Pit Stop and, much to their surprise, a third place finish.
That left all the coal diggers. Oswald and Danny were the first to finish, and when they got to the mat all filthy and covered in coal dust, Oswald gave us one of the greatest Amazing Race moments ever when he chased Phil around, trying to get a hug.
Joe and Bill came in next, leaving it a last place fight between Eric and Danielle and Joyce and Uchenna.
Eric and Danielle convinced some local kids to lead them to their address, while Joyce and Uchenna relied instead on their own uncanny sense of direction which allowed Captain Nipple Rings and Boobin to beat them to the mat.
So this was it for Uchenna and Joyce. That's okay, they've won before. They're not the team I wanted to see leave this week, but at least... what? It's a non-elimination leg!
Carrying over the non-elimination rule that first came into play last season, they got to keep all their money and belongings, but they are now marked for elimination. That means that unless Joyce and Uchenna come in first next week, they will incur a half-hour penalty and will not be allowed to check in until that half-hour is up. It's certainly possible, and I will be keeping my fingers crossed that Eric and Danielle get so lost that they fall a good 31 minutes behind everyone else. Then Joyce and Uchenna can be eliminated the week after that.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired March 11

2007-03-18T20:00:00.001-06:00

It's getting close to the end. This is the final week where the panel gets to save anyone, then we'll be to our final six and it's all up to the audience.
The musical number to start the night was "Grease" itself and it wasn't bad. Luckily these are just an opportunity for the group to perform together and we're not judging them on it.
We're also finding ourself back to having a guest panelist, and to grace us with his knowledge and experience was Rob Marshall, director of the screen version of "Chicago" (a fine movie) and brother of panelist Kathleen.
Before finding out who's in the bottom two, there was a quick video recap of the previous week, and strangely enough, all the Dannys want to win. Now we can breathe easy. I hate when you get a group of competitors all vying to lose.
Except for a dramatic pause, there weren't any games played this week. Austin and Chad were called out, and they were the bottom two. My first thought was "Derek's cracking voice just might win now!" My second was, this isn't good for Chad as he's been in the bottom more than Austin, who has never been there. But on the other hand, that could well be why they haven't let Austin go either, so we'll have to wait and see.
There is a theme for the songs again. The Sandys are all going to be showing their emotional sides, whereas the Dannys will all be doing Elvis. Nice, and very appropriate. The remaining women are all strong, so it would be strange to see any of them really falter. However, the men are still quite iffy, and if anyone is going to bring out the Danny Zuko in any of them, it's the King.
Allie - Oooh! "Natural Woman"! Great song if sung well. She did a very nice job on it, but not fantastic. As good as her voice is, it's probably the weakest of the three remaining women. She went for it though, and that helped a lot.
Derek - Singing "Devil in Disguise", this was the first time I could really see this John Stamos lookalike as Danny. It suited his voice, and I thought this was his strongest performance to date.
Something special the contestants got after each pairing was a video of friends and families, showing the people supporting them. It was kinda nice, and maybe just the shot in the arm each person needed to give them a little extra boost. Better than the anabolic steroids all of them are all taking.
Kidding.
Kathleen thought Allie sang better than she has been, and Derek showed confidence and charm. Rob said they were both fantastic, but now it's about being in character. Jim and David weren't allowed to say anything! I guess there was too much being squeezed into this hour.
Laura - "Don't Leave Me This Way". Laura wasn't my favourite going in, but she's been giving us one great performance after another, and this was yet another best of the night. If she doesn't win the role, it's not going to be her singing that cost her.
Max - I don't know. He sang "Suspicious Minds" and it just left me flat. He can do so much better than this, but on the other hand, he can do so much worse too.
Jim said he was virtually speechless, and it was a good thing he had that "virtually" qualifier, 'cause he kept on a-talkin'. What it all boiled down to is that neither of them were who most people would picture as Danny and Sandy in the beginning, but talent wins out. Rob thought he was looking at the next Sandy and Danny. David and Kathleen weren't allowed to say anything!
Everyone not in the bottom two then gave a performance of "All That Jazz" in honour of Rob Marshall, and sadly it just showed how superior the potential Sandys are to the potential Dannys. The women sizzled in this song, the men were somewhat lukewarm.
Now it was down to Austin and Chad and the Sing Off. Neither liked being in the bottom two, but dadgummit, they were going to fight!
But before singing for their lives, it was time for that weekly kick in the face. Austin, it turned out, had the lowest audience votes. I have to wonder about the wisdom of telling them this before the song.
The song was "Rock And Roll Party Queen", and Austin kicked Chad's butt. Chad wasn't strong in his performance at all, letting Austin's voice completely overwhelm him.
Kathleen got to give the good news/bad news this week, and they had decided to save Austin as he was seen as the better triple threat (singing, dancing, acting).
I don't mention the hosts very often as there is rarely much to say about them, but Denise Van Outen managed to out-annoy Billy Bush as she badgered Chad into saying which of the remaining men he'd pick to win, and so to shut her up he said Max.
Ashley - Our Meg Ryan lookalike sang "Keep Me Hanging On", and she did a strong job. My biggest criticism would be that it just wasn't bluesy enough, but she did give it a lot of emotion and she got much better in the middle of the song. The end part was only as good as the beginning.
If you're familiar with the song, you'll know there are parts where it goes "Whoa whoa whoa!" The first time she did this, it was a little lacklustre. The second time, right at the end, was much, much better. Basically the whole thing was inconsistent, but never bad.
Austin - He did a nice job singing "Can't Help Falling In Love", but I thought he did it a little too Broadway. We're supposed to be hearing Elvis, and he's performing Phantom.
David say they were both great. Ashley has a great voice, and was showing real passion, real emotion, and real acting. He sees her in the final two. He thought it was great to see emotion from Austin, and complimented his lovely baritone voice. He likes how professional he is, but wants to see him use more emotion and to let more of himself show through.
Rob thought both were so talented. He'd like to see them go on stage and show only Sandy, only Danny. Basically he just contradicted what David said what he'd like to see. Rob would have been interested to see them perform these songs as Sandy and Danny. Kathleen and Jim weren't allowed to say anything!
The favourites this week were Austin and Laura for Jim and David, and Max and Laura for Kathleen. Rob wimped out and said they were all fantastic.
Chad got to sing his goodbye song, "Sandy" as is the custom for the guys. He did an okay job, but nothing to make us wish he was still in the competition. His "Oh, Sandy!" at the end had to have been the lamest one yet, and it came out almost happy. No, it has to be full of longing! Yeah, it was okay that he left.
Now we're down to six, and there are no more Sing Offs and nobody can be saved by the panel. Next week, the bottom vote receivers are going home.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 11

2007-03-17T22:21:00.000-06:00

The big question this week was, of course, would Surya's unsurpassed management brilliance bring him a third win as project manager?
While the women of Kinetic still like their former teammate, they'd much rather get the win themselves, and this time around it was Kristine's turn to step up, giving her more screen time in one episode than she's really had all season.
It didn't look good for her from the start. The task this week was to do a half-time promotion at a professional soccer match promoting GNC, a vitamin and nutritional supplement company. And as an aside, doesn't it make more sense that the rest of the world calls soccer "football", as there is a lot more connection between feet and the ball than there is in what we call football here? Anyway, the reason things didn't look good for Kristine is that she's done this sort of thing before, doing half-time promotions for an arena football team. Shouldn't that be a good thing? You'd think, but more often that not, when someone on The Apprentice says something is within their field of expertise, they find some way to horribly screw things up so I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen again.
Over on Arrow, driving in the vehicle after getting the assignment, Tim came up with the idea of a story based around a boxing match. Frank picked up on this and they started getting excited about the possibilities. Surya put a damper on their enthusiasm, saying it was a good idea but they should still try to think of others, resulting in rolled eyes and seething resentment.
Unfortunately for them, they didn't come up with anything better, so they went with the boxing.
Kristine's idea for the promotion was to have people dressed up as different vitamins run an obstacle course. I was thinking they should use their Olympic gold medalist somehow, but with a good enough show, they should be able to get by without doing this.
The biggest problem on Kinetic this week was Muna, who kept second-guessing Kristine and expressing concern over the plan, despite the project manager's experience doing these things. Nice try, executive producer Mark Burnett. Make us think that Kinetic might lose and Kristine would take Muna back into the boardroom with her. Classic misdirection.
Despite Muna's concerns, the Kinetic promotion went over smoothly. It was simple but fun, an easy message to get to the hundreds of soccer fans sitting in the stands. Yeah, people kept talking about the "15,000" fans at the game, but there didn't seem to be anywhere near that many watching this all happen. If there were 15,000 people in attendance, I'd hate to think what the lines at the bathrooms were like.
Arrow's show, however... Surya thought it went fantastically, but poor, poor man. It didn't. It was a confusing mess, and so his reign as project manager ended. Poor Surya.
When your goal is to win The Apprentice, you can't get a better reward than something that will let you get face time with the man who will make the final decision, and in this case Kinetic got to have a round of golf with The Donald, and some guy from some golf company who also provided the women each with a brand-new set of clubs. Sadly nobody made a fool of themselves desperately vying for Trump's attention.
I really would have liked it if someone had. As you might have noticed, this has been pretty short. It's not that this season is particularly bad, it's just not the best one we've seen.
The board room was fun. All of Arrow felt Surya should be fired, and he brought James in with him, someone he felt spent too much time covering his own ass, and Tim, who came up with the original boxing idea.
I'm not fond of seeing someone come up with an idea unless all other things are equal, and even then, it boils down to it being the project manager's approval that lets a bad idea go through, so Tim was safe. It came down to Surya's inability to lead this team against James' butt covering, and James did wait until it was way too late to voice his discomfort with the boxing idea. Yes, if you think something's a bad idea, cover your ass, but do so early enough in the process so that things can be changed if necessary. Better still, come up with a decent idea of your own. If nobody accepts it, fine, but at least you tried. That way you have something to really back yourself up with in the board room. With James, it just didn't look good the way he approached it.
There has been criticism that Surya was too repetitive with his points in the board room. He kept repeating his 5-2 record (which includes him as just a team member as well as a PM), but repeating points can often help. He fought hard, and managed to get Tim to admit to James having flaws and covering his ass, even though he still felt Surya should be fired.
But before we get to that, it's time for our weekly feature...
How Did The Winning Project Manager Compare to Heidi?
During the first two weeks of this process, Heidi set the bar for the winning PM and how they do sitting next to Trump in the losing team's board room, and nobody has come close. I'd like to say that Kristine succeeded, but she hardly said a thing. Granted, it would be hard to get a word in the way Surya and James were both defending themselves loudly and repeatedly. It took Trump asking her if she had anything to ask for her to say anything. She did ask a decent question, and she managed to look comfortable there (something not everyone was able to pull off). Heidi is still the champion though.
So Surya was fired, which was no surprise. He was holding his own and possibly even turning the tide in his favour, but then he made the mistake of going too far. He said that with this team in particular, he functions best when he isn't the leader. That so isn't want Trump wants to hear. If you ever, EVER want to be The Apprentice, do not admit to there being any conceivable situation where you couldn't be a leader!
Once the room cleared, The Donald did say he liked how hard Surya fought to stay, something James and Tim both agreed on as they stood watching Surya being driven away. Ah, some respect. Too little, too late, but it was respect. That's always nice to see.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 11

2007-03-12T09:45:00.000-06:00

It's episodes like this one that make me wish I was recapping Amazing Race instead of just commenting on it, there was so much juiciness in it (but due to technical difficulties, recapping a show that isn't a talent competition isn't possible). This episode also managed to turn my own competitive reality world upside down. For the first time in two seasons of this show and one season of Survivor, I actually liked Amber. I know she was in another season of Survivor, but I still can't remember her from it.
And it's not just that. I've even softened towards Boston Rob. Damn it, how ironic is it that I've started liking Romber now, this episode of all episodes?
After finishing first yet again at the last pit stop, they were the first to leave on this leg. They would never see first place again, except for in my heart for a short time.
It wasn't like they didn't get off to a good start. At one point, there was a good two hour difference between the teams in the front and the two teams in the back who couldn't get on the first flight, giving those that arrived at the Detour first a pretty decent head start.
The options at the Detour were pretty simple. Sign It or Navigate It. Build a signpost, correctly spelled and in proper order, detailing the stops Magellan took on his historic trip around the world, or follow a simple map to find a man dressed as a sailor, get a compass from him, and follow that directly south.
The map option seemed the easiest to me, but not all the teams took it. Rob and Amber (well, Rob) chose the signpost because Rob builds things, Joyce and Uchenna chose it as well, as did Team Realivision who, though we do love Kandice and Dustin, have their issues with directions and thus this did seem like the better choice.
Speaking of the Beauty Queens, and we always do, they've realized that they haven't been kicking as much ass as they did last season. Part of this problem is that they've been overthinking everything. As soon as I heard that, I knew the haters would have a field day despite it being true. It happened on this task as well. Instead of just doing it as stated on the clue, they started to wonder if all the little signs on the post had to be pointing in the proper direction to the different locations (they didn't). That ate up a lot of time, of course.
While the teams who chose the signpost task worked away at it, the teams that chose the map and compass finished quickly and started heading to their next location where they had to get spots on a charter plane.
Rob was the first at the signpost task to get the correct starting location for Magellan, and he and Amber did well with getting their post finished, but it turns out that Romber has a weakness after all. Spelling. I've no doubt while watching this episode and seeing the camera keep showing us that they spelled "Phillipines" as "Philipeans", they must have fallened to their knees, rending their clothes and shouting, "Curse our semi-literateness!" Why it never occurred to them to double check their spelling against the map they had to copy from after they were first told by the judge that they didn't have it right is beyond me.
Uchenna and Joyce were able to finish their sign correctly after one misstep where they started the voyage at Guam instead of Seville, Spain, the only team on this Detour who were able to do so, and they headed off to their next destination.
Team Realivision were keeping an eye on clock and realized that the two teams behind them would be landing shortly, so they proposed to team up with Rob and Amber to give up on this task and try the navigation.
Normally I'd advise against joining up with the Beauty Queens on any tasks that involve directions, but at this point there was no real choice. I don't know why they didn't change tasks earlier, something Amber tried to convince Rob to do but he stubbornly refused.
So they headed off, but still struggled. As they were trying to find the sailor, Joe and Bill ("the Guidos", a team name I don't understand) showed up and passed them. Ouch. Luckily Mirna and Charla decided to do Sign It, which resulted in Charla trying to carry supplies while Mirna screamed at her. Of course, if Charla didn't try to help, Mirna would have screamed at her. If we were to get to see what goes on at the Pit Stop, I'm sure we'd be treated to Mirna screaming at Charla there. "THAT'S MY SANDWICH! DON'T TOUCH MY SANDWICH, CHARLA! GO GET YOUR OWN! I NEED SOME MILK, COME WITH ME, CHARLA! HURRY! HURRY! STOP EATING THOSE CHIPS SO LOUDLY!"
That Mirna is such a delight.
Meanwhile, back at Navigate It, the Guidos got their clue and our little alliance of Romber and the Beauty Queens got their compasses. However, instead of following the directions, they decided to keep using the map.
Dustin and Kandice, you know I love you, but your sense of direction is going to kill me before this season is over. But if anyone's going to mess up "head straight south" while they've got a compass in their hand...
So, let's look at what did in Rob and Amber this episode. Stubborness, spelling, and teaming with the Beauty Queens when directions are important.
By this point in the race, it was safe to bed that Rob and Amber were going to miss first place for the first time this season. But were things going so bad that they'd get eliminated?
Rob wasn't used to being this far behind, and he wasn't happy having to take the later charter flight. Unlike those racers who are ecstatic when they have to take the later plane, bus, train, boat, or horse-drawn carriage.
Next stop - the end of the world. Teams had to travel to the southern most tip of Argentina, which just so happens to be the southern most tip of South America. To be so close to penguins, yet so far...
The clues weren't done yet. Racers had to find the clue box that would lead them to boats that would take them to the Road Block. It was here that I finally liked Amber. She and Rob overshot the clue box, and Mirna and Charla followed right behind them. Nothing new there. However, when they realized they must have missed it, Romber turned around and with their last clue still in their hands, Amber said "Got it!" as they walked past Team Undermedicated. Mirna suspected a lie, because she's allegedly an attorney and is used to people lying. This threw me for a loop. Somewhere, somehow, Mirna practices law? The hilarious images that brings forth are highly entertaining, including how often she must have been jailed for contempt of court for screaming at judges. And really, should a lawyer be getting high and mighty about other people not living up to the moral code she expects in people who aren't her?
It got even better at the pier. Charla went up to Amber and asked why she lied (because it's a friggin' game, dumbass, and they don't want to be in last place). Amber told her she was talking to Rob, and when she said "Got it!" she meant that she realized where the clue box was. Lovely.
Joyce and Uchenna went down a little in my book though. Before Charla and Mirna arrived at the pier, they were laughing as much as anyone else at the "Got it!" lie, but afterwards they got almost as sniffy about it as Team Undermedicated.
The Road Block this leg was the ever-popular needle in a haystack kind of challenge. One member of each team had to sort through a huge bag of mail of 1600 envelopes to find one of two letters addressed to them, then read the letter which was from a team from their original season. The team would then have to search the island for the Pit Stop where someone may be eliminated. It seems a little early for a non-elimination leg, but this is All-Stars. You never know what they might pull (like never getting out of South America until the final leg, but with everyone this far south, I'd really love to see the race go through Antarctica).
Oswald and Danny got through the envelopes and to the mat to become the first non-Romber team of the season to get first place. After that, the only thing to note outside of Rob/Amber/Charla/Mirna was that the Beauty Queens got a letter from one of the members of their biggest rivals last season, Lyn from Alabama. Her teammate was either unable or unwilling to put the anger behind her, proving that Lyn was the more reasonable half of that team (which was pretty obvious while watching). Anyway, that was pretty cool.
Rob and Amber and Charla and Mirna weren't quite so lucky. Their letters were quite hateful, and there's no need for that. Once the season is over, let go of the hate. Rob and Amber are just very competitive and aren't above sabotaging other players, but hey, it is a game. If Charla and Mirna were as insane their first time out, that would explain their hateful missive. It's bad enough to be the bottom two teams, but to get this kick in the teeth too?
I don't know why Charla didn't do this Roadblock as it wasn't particularly physical and if they defy the odds and stay around for several more legs, she should end up having to do a task that doesn't suit her physical limitations. There isn't much in the way of strategy in The Amazing Race, but when it comes to Road Blocks where only one team member can compete and each person has to do half the tasks, if one team member is more physically capable, use the other on tasks that aren't so physical. But on the other hand, Mirna did finish this task before Rob, giving her and her cousin a head start to the mat. Enough of a head start, it turned out.
As much as I finally started to like Rob and Amber for the first time, it was still pretty fun to see them get beat by an insane lawyer and her little person cousin. I may not like Charla and Mirna, but they are damned entertaining and it would be great to see them beat Eric and Danielle next, the most boring team left this season. At least in his first season, Eric had Jeremy as his partner and the homoerotic subtext of that team and they way they tried to hide it by talking about girls all the time helped make them fun. And he was part of the team that called and cancelled other people's cabs! This Eric isn't like that! Now the most entertaining thing about him is wondering when we'll get to see his pierced nipples next!
Oh, Rob and Amber. From three straight first place finishes to eliminated in their worst place finish in any of their shows. Now they'll have to go back to struggling on one of their other 30 or so reality shows and living off of Amber's Survivor: All-Stars winnings.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired March 8

2007-03-11T07:56:00.000-06:00

Last week it was all about the idiots, and there was more of that this week, but there was also some sexism (which is just a form of idiocy in itself) and even some glimmerings of intelligence from some people who realized that there is more to Survivor than the challenges.
While there is still nobody to really get behind and cheer on, at least those with the glimmerings are giving us people we'd rather see over some of the other horrible players this season, and oh, there are some horrible players.
Due to their domination in every competition, we haven't met too much of Moto, but we finally got to learn what a wonderful bunch of loveable winners they really are. Of the seven people left in their tribe, five are in an alliance, leaving two in the wilderness. Alex did the math and realized that if they merge at ten people, "Dreamz" and Cassandra could well join the remaining Ravu members, tying the numbers at five and five. Oooh, good catch. The problem is, his alliance is comprised mostly of jerks. Yes, I'm keeping my language clean for you, my PG readers. Yes, those jerks were treating "Dreamz" and Cassandra like poo. We see it time and again, an alliance gets a numbers advantage and the power goes to their heads, but rarely does it seem to get as dehumanizing as this. At most, those in the minority are left to do more than their share of work, but what we saw here was beyond ridiculous.
The worst offenders appeared to be Lisi and Stacy, though "Boo" was getting his fair share of assholeness in with those two. Really, would it have killed them to let Cassandra have better than just the coffee grounds?
With the possibility of "Dreamz" and Cassandra joining forces with the remaining Ravuites, perhaps, just maybe, possibly they should consider treating those two a little better. Edgardo agreed, but the other three showed a complete lack of forsight and saw no reason to do this. Putting the game aside, and how often do I do this, but an even better reason to treat them better is that they are human beings, and it would do one well in life to realize this and show some humanity. "Why should we start treating them well?" Because, if nothing else, you're showing yourselves to be assholes on international television.
So good job figuring out the numbers, Alex and Edgardo, but you started to lose me when some sexism crept into your discussion. They called "Boo" stupid, but said that Lisi and Stacy were being "irrational", because that's how women are, you know. If they called all three stupid, or all three irrational, I'd be fine with it. But when it's just the women being described with a word that's been used to belittle women's intelligence for centuries, well you kinda start to lose me.
Well, here's a bit of irrationality coming from a woman - just being nice to the two outcasts isn't going to do a bit of good now. Nobody wants to play for sixth and seventh place. Before you started being assholes, you should have been making "Dreamz" and Cassandra feel like they were equal parts of your tribe and your alliance. Even if Lisi, Stacy, and "Boo" bought into the idea that treating human beings as human beings might be a decent (in both of its common definitions) idea, it's too late to make a difference. I'd know that even if "Dreamz" didn't tell us that he and Cassandra were planning on going to Ravu as soon as the merge happens.
I want to see Moto lose a challenge, and that's got nothing to do with all of this, and it's certainly nothing to do with wanting to see Ravu, the not-so-plucky underdogs winning. I'm just tired of seeing Moto walk away with everything.
In the immunity challenge, it almost happened. Not so much the reward challenge where it wasn't even close. They had to pair up against each other, and with big cushions, knock their opponents off a platform into some mud, first to seven points wins. "Rocky" called out "Dreamz", only to have him knock him off in a matter of seconds. The only Ravu tribe member to win in their round was Yau-Man, who knocked off Stacy. And so Moto got their third set of fishing gear, some potatoes, the aforementioned coffee, and some toiletries. and Ravu got nothing.
Despite all we've seen at Moto, it was likely that Ravu was going to go to Tribal Council again because we saw too much of them too. Anthony has been on the edge of being voted out for a while now, but someone new has been getting under "Rocky's" skin. Rita. You see, it turns out Rita likes to talk, and when she talks, it's all about somewhat shallow girly stuff, and this drove "Rocky" crazy. You see, when he's having conversations with people, it's all about the economic ramifications of the Kyoto accord vs. the imminent threat of global warming on Earth's delicate biosphere and the non-renewable nature of fossil fuels. Or at least that's what you'd assume from how affronted he was by Rita's assault on his ears. I strongly suspect his conversation rarely veers from cars, sports, and boobies, but I wouldn't say that because that would be stereotyping and that's just wrong.
Week after week, the most negative influence in the Ravu tribe has been "Rocky". I don't get how they're not voting him out yet. It's obvious that this tailoring for strength thing hasn't been working (especially when they're voting out Erica over Yau-Man because she got frustrated in one challenge). They should be trying something different and getting the negativity out of camp, and "Rocky" is the place to start for that.
Sure enough Ravu lost the immunity challenge. They managed to get within one point of winning their first competition but managed to blow it as always. The most frustrating part is that they should have won! It was basically an oversized version of Concentration, you know, where you have cards or other images turned face down and you have to match pairs by remembering what is where. In this version, it was all numbers and words turned over. Near the end, most of the pairs were matched up, and there were a few dummy choices where there weren't pairs, but enough was turned over that it should have been very easy to remember what was where. "Okay, they just turned over a 9, and it was between that one and that one, five over from the side." Easy, right? Sure, if you're not a member of Ravu.
Well, there was some jockeying for votes back at camp and there seemed be enough of a majority to vote off Anthony, but this wouldn't be Survivor: Fiji if they voted off a man while there are still women left in the tribe. Of course it was Rita's turn! If Michelle is shocked about leaving next week (no spoiler, it's pure guesswork based on voting patterns), she will obviously not have been paying attention.
This is five women in a row voted off. I've no doubt that's a Survivor record. I don't even have to double check it, that's how sure I am. Other Survivor records this season include the longest the hidden immunity idol has gone without being found, and of course the most challenge losses in a row by any one tribe. Even Ulong in Palau won a couple of rewards, their first in episode two. Heck, judging by the previews of the next episode, I wouldn't doubt the producers have invoked what they might call "the Palau Contingency", a mixing of the tribes if one is overpowering the other and winning all the immunities.
Something else of note. There hasn't been a single unanimous vote at tribal council yet (and when I say "unanimous", I mean everyone except the person going home). Michelle should be particularly concerned, because not only is she the last woman on Ravu, but she's also the only one other than Rita who voted for Anthony.

Survivor won't be on next week. It will be returning Wednesday, March 21, so don't miss it.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired March 4

2007-03-10T23:44:00.000-07:00

Last week it was the Sandys all to themselves, this week it's the Dannys, and with the less talented of the two groups performing, you know it's going to be a great time for everyone. I would also like to let you know the sacrifice I've been making for this blog.
I'm currently able to only record one show and watch another. Grease is on at the same time as The Amazing Race here. They are both also on at the same time as The Simpsons, which has been airing new episodes. Yes, I'm recording friggin' Grease: You're The One That I Want instead of new Simpsons episodes! What kind of monster has this blog made of me?!? This show entertains me, but really, this is too much.
But I will stick it out to the bitter end, despite Billy Bush! If you watch The Office (and really, if you don't, why aren't you?) you'll be very familiar with how cringe-inducing Michael's attempts at jokes are, and it's that cringe-worthiness that's funny. Not with Billy Bush. When he tries to be funny, you just cringe. I even wrote down in my notes, "Billy Bush still an idiot." I can't even remember what he said, just that it was worthy of that note.
My bellyaching aside, let's get to the show.
The opening number was "Greased Lightning" with some horribly cleaned up language.
"You know without a doubt we'll be really makin' out in Greased Lightning!"
Yeah, it's American network television (language restrictions are much more relaxed in Canada, where The Sopranos aired on broadcast television uncut (though at least you guys make great shows like The Office and The Simpsons, and we make Corner Gas)), but that was still lame.
The one thing about watching this number is it became very clear that there are no John Travoltas amongst the remaining Dannys, or even any Jeff Conaways. He played Kenickie in the movie. There is more raw sexuality in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants than there was on stage this night. But that's just me. The audience full of screaming 14-year-old girls loved it, and hooo boy, they were screaming.
What has become one of my favourite parts of the show is the videos where we get to see egos on display and the contestants smacktalking each other. Usually it's all about how everyone is friends and we all love one another, so this makes for a nice change. Apparently Chad is really talked about poorly by the rest of the guys!
No! No gossip here! Even though it's still fun to see. Tee hee!
Oh, and the panel is three people again, and there were absolutely no special guests this week. It's possible word about the show has gotten around, and nobody wants to work with Billy Bush.
Austin - It seems that all the guys have things they've had to work on, and for Austin, it was loosening up and allowing himself to be more comedic. So he went to the Groundlings theatre with some of the Sandys (who seemed to go with most of the guys on these excursions) where he got some lessons from one of the members of that troupe.
His song this week was "Fun Fun Fun", and it was anything but. Yes, he was trying, but he was trying too hard and left me flat. The screamers enjoyed it, but that's because they enjoy a man twice their age on stage in a too-tight shirt dancing around. Hell, we've all been there, and I'm sure I'm not alone in going to a motel with the guy.
David had fun looking at the Sandys who were dancing with Austin, like we really believe David looks at women (I kid, he's married with two children). He's still not convinced with Austin, and wants to see more of a twinkle in his eye. Jim said it felt forced, but he too was partially distracted by the women (which I believe, because he's been lusting after the Sandys since the season premiere). Kathleen disagreed with them, which makes me wonder about her judging abilities now. She said she thought it was great and that he was loose and goofy. She loves his attack and energy.
Derek - After the huge crack in his song two weeks ago, his trip was to a vocal therapist to avoid that happening again.
He sang "Heaven", the Bryan Adams song, and I liked his performance even though there was a hint of a crack in it again at one point, but not as horrifying as the previous time.
Kathleen said Derek redeemed himself, but he needs to show a more unpredictable side. Jim said it was a solid performance, though he questioned if he heard a crack or if it was just Derek's song styling. David said it was definitely a crack, and thought the approach to the song was safe and boring. He needs to work on his vocals, something David sees as a worry.
Max - Max's goal was to work on his physicality, and to do this, he went to a gym and spent some time in a boxing ring. Unfortunately he didn't do any actual sparring, as that would have livened things up somewhat. It was entertaining to hear the pseudo-Rocky music. It was close enough to invoke the music of the movie, but they didn't have to pay for the rights. Everyone wins!
He sang "Hard To Handle", and it was easily one of the best "rock" performances of the series. It still wasn't completely believable rock and roll, but it was enough to make this the performance of the night.
Oh yeah. This is where Billy Bush said, "Crummbelievable!" I'll leave you to ponder that one for a moment.

David was impressed. "Wow, what a transformation!" Yes, Max has an "unconventional look" (a nice way of saying, "not very attractive"), but he has pure talent and he hopes Broadway can accept him as the next sex symbol. Out with it, David! Just call him a horrifying mutant who can sing and dance! You know you want to!
Jim said it's been building with Max, and yes, he has lots of talent. He loved the performance. Kathleen thought it was fun to see him strut and sneer, and she sees him more and more each week as a Danny Zuko.
Chad - His issue was trying to fill a theatre with his presence, so he used Shakespeare and a UCLA professor to help them with that. It helped that Chad's the best actor of the remaining Dannys, something we know because he told us so.
He sang "Don't Stop Me Now", and I liked it. It was the second best performance of the night, I thought anyway. But then I also think Chad looks like a young Donny Osmond, but without the 70s hair.
Kathleen saw a leading man, but he was vocally in and out and she wants to see him make the songs more his own. Jim thinks he's too pretty looking (having struck out with the Sandys, Jim seems to have moved on to the Dannys), so he needs to toughen up. Maybe if they cut his face or something. Yes, that's what he said and I found it quite funny. Certainly funnier than anything Billy has said all season. David said it wasn't the greatest vocal performance, but that pretty looking guy would sell millions of tickets. Yeah, because "pretty" outsells "talent" all the time on Broadway.
Oh. Maybe it does. It certainly works a lot in Hollywood.
Because there was no special guest this week, there was time for some more video, and we got a look into what a week is like for the contestants. Despite my snarking, they do work hard to get ready for each Sunday. On Monday mornings they get an envelope with the song they're to perform, which they have to learn and practise. On Wednesday they have a vocal coach and a choreography coach. There are also the wardrobe fittings, which in itself takes time away from rehearsing their songs and choreography. Show days are the most hectic of the lot. That may not sound like much, but getting ready to perform a number on live, national television as well as learning the opening number? All that rehearsing is where all the hardest work is.
Finally we came to the bottom two. Who would it be this week? Kathleen and Allie, that's who, making it three weeks in a row for Kathleen. If this was based on votes along, Allie would be the one to go home.
With no time to compose themselves, it was right on to the song, "Raining On Prom Night". The song itself, one of my favourites on the Grease soundtrack, is a little silly in its lyrics, but it works best when the singer approaches it seriously, which is why I liked Allie's version better than Kathleen's, though they both have strong, beautiful voices.
There was a commercial, and when we came back we got to see how the two of them reacted to being in the bottom two, but that's pretty much the same thing every week. The panel was polled as to who they thought the best Danny was this week, and Max was the unanimous choice.
Then David had to do the dirty work. The woman he was about to save was Jim and Kathleen's choice, not his, but the one staying was Allie.
I liked Kathleen, but it will be nice to not have to distinguish between Judge Kathleen and Contestant Kathleen anymore. She has a great voice and lots of potential, so there is no reason she can't have a career on stage.
As has become customary now, we heard another touching version of "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" when Kathleen sang her last song. I have to think that it's a combination of the real emotion they're feeling combined with the relaxation of not having to compete, but this has been one of the best songs the Sandys have been singing for a few weeks now.
They've also been working closely enough that we're starting to see more tears coming from the remaining Sandys too, which adds to the poignancy of this number.
But damn it, I'm still missing The Simpsons for this.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired March 4

2007-03-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Donald Trump has been appearing on WWE Raw? He's going to be at Wrestlemania with his chosen wrestler going up against Vince McMahon's chosen wrestler. The winner gets to shave the loser's head. Does anyone really think that Trump would allow his head to be shaven? It would be interesting to see.
More interesting than this episode was shaping up to be, but then things happened to make it one of the most unusual Apprentices yet.
After winning the task last week, Surya got to stay on as project manager of Arrow, demonstrating how that twist can completely skew everything this season. You can be sure his team isn't happy about this, but what can they do? Deliberately blow a task? Too risky. This is one twisted twist. Keep winning, the project manager gets most of the credit. Deliberately lose, you stand a good chance of going.
Of course, you could end up going just because you said the wrong thing. More on that soon.
Over on Kinetic, Jenn wanted to take her turn managing the team. After everything that happened last week, she wanted to step up to the challenge as most people do and should after they're brought into the boardroom after a loss and manage to survive.
Derek was please with Aimee being fired last time, and he felt that all they needed to do now is get rid of last of the "riff-raff" who just so happens to have been Jenn. With that done, then their team would truly excel.
The task this week was to create a special owner experience for the newest model Lexus. Simple enough, one would think.
Kinetic was struggling for ideas. They came up with the theme, "Come Experience Your Sixth Sense of Luxury," but nothing beyond that. Angela was put in charge of creativity though the whole team was brainstorming. Hey! I know! Instead of a "sixth sense of luxury", how about a "gold medal experience" and use your Olympic gold medallist to sell the idea of excellence? Instead, they come up with a magician (not bad, if done correctly (so of course it wasn't)), and go-karts. Yes, go-karts. Derek threw it out as an idea, as people do in brainstorming sessions, and Jenn jumped on it despite everyone else on the team - including Derek - hating it.
Here's the thing... You don't always need activities, especially when it's going to be nothing but adults there. I may be wrong, but I suspect they'd be able to go an afternoon without playing. Oh, I'm sure in most people's minds Lexus equals go-karts, but unless they're gold-plated and chauffeur-driven, they're not likely going to go over too well here.
As for Arrow, well, I don't know and I don't care what they were up to. Surya was driving them crazy, the rest were doing stuff, the two what's-their-faces were romancing, blah blah blah. They had a spiffy looking presentation with lots of luxury balloons and luxury foods in a luxurious setting, and other than a car battery dying from overuse, everything went rather well with nobody seemingly getting bored with no activities.
Andrea and Derek at Kinetic were having trouble with signage, Andrea particularly not being able to make up her mind and the deadline coming and going. This was a disaster in the making, so we have a very good idea of who is likely going to be going back in the board room (as soon as Jenn settled on go-karts, you know they were heading there). Fortunately for them, despite missing the deadline for guaranteed sign delivery, the signs did arrive in time, but they weren't of the standard they were hoping for.
Oh dear. Without fully luxurious signs, how were they going to spiff up their luxuriious crappy ass tents with the luxurious go-kart track outside? And don't even get me started on the luxurious magician! Hey, at least the luxurious magician didn't appear to work blue, making him a better choice than the comedian someone whose name I forget hired a season or two back (who was okay as a comedian, but she was entirely inappropriate for the audience).
Yes, it was all crappy ass luxury, compared to Arrow who had an event that lived up to what we'd expect to see, though why they didn't have pony rides and a petting zoo is beyond me. Anyway, chalk up another win for Surya, the project manager of the season!
It wasn't all bad for certain members of Kinetic. When talking to the Lexus executives, Trumpipoo asked if anyone on the team stood out, and they said that Heidi and Muna were both stars and their product knowledge was amazing. That was a sigh of relief, as they seemed so over the top in their acquiring of that knowledge that for a moment it seemed like they may have been the ones destined for the board room. I guess when it comes to product knowledge, if you're hoping to sell the product, there is no such thing as too much.
Despite the glowing words from the executives, Donaldkins asked Heidi what had happened to her, going from a superstar to being on a team that's losing too often. This lead to more glowing words from her teammates who made it very clear that Heidi was in no way responsible for the loss and that in her assigned area, she excelled.
She really needs another shot at project manager, but there are people on her team who haven't had a chance yet, so it's not likely going to happen yet.
Seeing that we're already on the subject of Heidi, let's do our weekly comparison of the winning PM's boardroom ability to that standard set by Heidi the first two weeks.
Honestly, I wasn't even sure Surya was there at first until we got a good camera angle. Trump even got to the point where he asked him if he was going to say anything at all, prompting Surya to spout out a question. Interestingly, the previous Apprentice winner who was Donald's eyes and ears this week was old Squidward himself, Randall (or is it Randal? I don't care, because he was the one who didn't want to share the spotlight with Rebecca a couple of seasons back, the last time there were two clear choices for the title) spoke a little too much, and Trump asked him to be quiet at one point so he could say something. Ha! You should have said yes to Rebecca!
I like the idea of the winning PM being in the boardroom, but I'm wishing there was more turnover in the position now so we could see how more people handle it.
Talking to the losing team, The Donald was asking Derek a question, I can't remember what, when Derek referred to himself as "white trash". Trump did not like this, and he doesn't want anyone working for him who refers to themselves like that, even if they're joking, so he fired Derek right there.
Dang. And there was still a good 10 minutes left, which means it was likely someone else was going to go. We've seen double and even quadruple firings before, but it's always at the same time. It's never like that. Derek took it good naturedly, hey, it's only The Apprentice and it's not like any of these people are hurting for money going in as they tend to be fairly successful before being selected.
You know what? That would be an awesome season of The Apprentice. Instead of taking people who are already successful, take a group of intelligent hard workers who, for whatever reason, haven't been particularly successful. People who would be very hungry for this opportunity. Now that would be a season worth watching. Granted, the job at the end couldn't have as much responsibility, but give them something that would be better than anything they've done before and would give them the chance to learn skills that would vastly improve their employability.
Anyway, once Derek was gone, there was some apprehension in the room. What just happened? Is this over? Can we go now? Well, it wasn't over yet. Trumpster had more to say and more to ask. When he wondered who Jenn was going to going to bring with her, she wanted Andrea and, unfortunately, Derek. They were the creative staff and she saw it as their fault that they lost. She may have succeeded in saving her butt if she hadn't been so insistant on the go-karts. How can she ever enjoy them again, knowing they cost her this "job interview"?
Yeah, Jenn was fired. One thing the rest of her team wanted Trump and her to know was that they respect her, they just think she didn't do a good job on this task. After she was fired, Muna made sure she knows they respect her. It was okay though, Jenn took the firing very well. It's nice to see people realize they're only on a competitive reality show competing for a chance to work for Donald Trump. Unlike Aimee's ouster last week, this one ended with smiles and hugs and good wishes.
Wait a minute! No, that's not nice! Damn it, this is The Apprentice!
Next week we'd better see some anger and bile again.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired March 4

2007-03-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

On Survivor this season, I haven't been able to find anyone I want to cheer for. That is normally a bad thing, but at least there's nobody giving me a heart attack every week, Kandice and Dustin! You know I love their spirit, how they won't flinch at any of the challenges (Danielle!) and few people seem to have as much fun running this race as them. Their sense of direction, however, is truly horrifying. I get the sense though that it's more that they're not taking their time to make sure they're taking the right turn or looking for the signs they need to find.
It was a wrong turn that did them in last time. Don't be surprised to see it happen again if they don't win the race. If anyone can beat Rob and Amber. I know it's in them though. The Beauty Queens were the team who beat the Fast Forward last season!
Charla and Mirna. Huh. Their insanity and hypocrisy apparently knows no bounds. I love this team if for no other reason then that they're so freakin' crazy, and that makes for entertaining television! This leg their feud with Dustin and Kandice seems to have died down, and instead one started with Teri and Ian, particularly at an airport ticket counter. Teri and Ian (or Teran) were talking to the agent when Mirna butted in and asked him to help them, sparking off a big argument between the two teams. Mirna was clearly in the wrong here, but she and her cousin are so vastly morally superior to many of the other teams, so it didn't matter because their moral superiority automatically makes it right. I think. Hypocrisy is so confusing!
But dang it if they don't give us some great moments. They wanted to get a local man to show them directions, but he had to go to work. So they offered him $50 and dragged him to their car, and Teri and Ian said they would spit the money with them. Mirna said they'd better, and not screw them like the Beauty Queens did (who, for the record, made no such money-splitting deal). Once in the car and driving away, Charla welcomed this poor man into their scary world.
But it doesn't end there! Mirna picking up fish at the Road Block? Wonderfully nutty! Danielle's histrionics got all the attention, but Mirna was freaking out too. Whichever one of Team Guido, Joe or Bill, who did the Road Block didn't write down the full clue, something Mirna (foolishly) corrected them on, giving them the part they missed. She then spent the rest of the leg getting pissed off whenever the Guidos tried beating them to the pit stop. And then there was the Detour! After completing the white water rafting (during which Charla's face was priceless), they got to their car but couldn't find their keys. Figuring they must be at the tent they were changing in, Mirna started running back and she screamed at Charla to hurry up and come with her, because you know how important it is to have two people run back to a tent to fetch keys. And the local guy was still with them! With all the people racers have picked up and dropped off over the seasons, I wonder how many of them are still out there wandering lost, trying to get home. Nothing beats the woman who used one team (was it the Weavers in Family Edition?) to get a ride to work. That was fantastic.
Speaking of Teri and Ian, I never saw their original season, but this week I became a fan. No, it wasn't the argument with Mirna, as great as that was (and Ian calling for security was gold). No, it was when Teri went overboard on the whitewater raft. It gave us one of the best commercial cliffhangers ever on the show, even though we knew she'd survive (if anyone ever dies on a competitive reality show, there'd be massive controversy if the network decides to air it). But it was still nerve-wracking for the audience and very scary for Ian. She'd survive, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't get hurt badly enough to have to drop out of the race.
Aaaaand... She's safe! Holding on to the rope tied around the raft, Teri's head poked up no worse for wear! It turns out she actually enjoyed the experience and called it "a rush". That's when I became a fan.
Who I'm not a fan of this season is David and Mary. Well, Mary. David is too quiet to say anything to turn people against him. I don't know if we were supposed to feel sorry when she was crying about missing the Cho brothers this season, but these are all people who know that in the end, they are running the race for themselves, not some couple from Kentucky. She thought they were friends with Charla and Mirna, and she's still carrying a grudge that they had the audacity to pass them... in a race. She appreciates the chance to have this amazing experience twice, but I'm still not sure she's quite got a grip on what show she's on. Mary would fit in quite well with the Moto tribe on Survivor: Fiji, who are under the mistaken impression that they're spending 39 days at a luxury resort.
The tasks this week were fun. At the Road Block, one team member had to schlep some 80 flounders between one tank and another, and once done their clues were at the bottom of the tanks. This was how Team Guido missed part of their clue, the guy didn't write everything down. Danielle and Mirna both freaked over the fish, as mentioned earlier. This challenge even slowed down one of the stronger teams, Oswald and Danny, as Danny (I think, who pays attention to these things?) was having trouble with the sheer physicalness of the task.
The Detour, oh, the Detour. The choices were both team members climbing a forty foot cliff to get half the clue each, or taking a whitewater rafting trip to get the clue. Apparently one or two teams started trying the climbing, but this never aired so it likely didn't affect any rankings. All the teams wound up doing the rafting, which gave us moments like Teri's near-drowning and Charla's look of terror. The Beauty Queens had huge smiles on their faces doing this task, and why not? They somehow managed to move past several people!
Because they missed the Detour clue.
Damn.
This team is going to be the cause of a cardiac episode for me, just wait and see.
Kandice and Dustin missed the turn that would have taken them to the clue, because that's how they roll, but somehow managed to find the take off point for the whitewater rafting. The entire time they kept looking for the Detour clue, and at the end were surprised to find a clue that didn't have a Detour. Now normally this would be a mistake that would entail a lot of derision, but things have been shaken up in the race before, and this being the All-Star season, who knows what the producers might pull? And I like them, so I'm going to be biased. So there. Nyah.
When they arrived at the Pit Stop, Phil greeted them and let them know they arrived in fourth place, but... Oh, crap. What would happen? Time penalty? No. He couldn't check them in until they retrieved all the clues! Oh, crap! Not only did they have to go all the way back to find the clue, they were being presented with all new opportunities to get lost!
There was nothing they could do though but go back and retrieved the missing clue. How far behind were the rest of the teams? After driving back and forth who knows how many kilometres (I am Canadian, don't forget), they finally had all their clues and got back to the mat for Phil to officially pronounce them as the fourth place team. Whooooo!
David and Mary on the other hand finally ran out of luck. Without any teams willing to risk their own games to help the Kentuckians stay around, they finally came in last. It's just as well. Their naivety was charming last time around, but this time it wore thin and occasionally came across as a sense of entitlement. Now the real race can begin.
Oh yeah, Rob and Amber came in first yet again.

Realivision News - Unfinished and partial seasons?

2007-03-04T13:25:00.000-07:00

I've started updating old posts to have labels like those seen on all current commentary and recaps at the end of the posts. Two of those labels I will be using will be "unfinished season" and "partial season". For that to work, I really should explain the difference between the two.

Unfinished season - This would be a show I started covering, but dropped before the season finale. The reasons for this happen are plentiful, from losing interest (Big Brother: All-Stars) to burning out or being so far behind there's no point in catching up (Dancing With The Stars 3, Celebrity Duets) to the show being cancelled (this hasn't happened yet, thankfully). Okay, maybe the reasons aren't that plentiful, because that's about it.

Partial season - This is a show where it was likely covered up to the finale, but for whatever reason, either I joined it late or there are episodes missing in the middle. I didn't cover it, but Rockstar: Supernova was a show that I didn't start watching until several episodes in. Heck, that happened with the first two seasons of Survivor. If I get sucked in and am not overloaded with other shows, I might start writing about it.
This will also cover shows where midseason episodes are missing. This could be because of computer issues (Oh! This also applies to unfinished seasons!), recording issues, vacation issues, and becoming burned out but getting the fire back again issues.

At some point soon, there will be some minor changes made to the blog that shouldn't affect the overall look of it, but the sidebar will contain all the labels used to help you find your favourite shows.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired March 1

2007-03-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

Gah! These people are idiots!
But before we get to the rampant stupidity that is ruling this season, another castaway has had their game shortened due to health reasons. Whatever happened to Gary (or "Papa Smurf" as this annoyingly nick-name obsessed cast insists on calling him) when he fell in that challenge a couple of weeks ago just wasn't going away, so the medical crew was called in for a second time. Unlike their previous visit, this time they left with Gary and Jeff Probst announced later that Gary's game was over.
Unlike previous game-ending health problems, this time around there was still going to be an Immunity Challenge and Tribal Council. That's okay for Moto though. Even though they just lost their first tribe member leaving them only one person ahead of Ravu, they've got the advantage in not sucking at challenges. All they have to do is win the next immunity and they'll be back to a two person advantage. Unless they do something very moronic. What are the chances of something like that happening with this cast?
Never mind answering that. So this week, let's look at the stupidity of different groups and individuals.
Anthony is stupid. He is hanging on by a thread, so he really should be trying to avoid friction with tribemates. Why he's not trying harder in the competitions is beyond me. It's not all his fault though, as the dislike some of his tribemates have for him is affecting their ability to work with him, as evidenced by the reward challenge. Which brings us to...
The Ravu tribe is stupid. It's only 39 days on the island, and even fewer until the merge. I don't care how you feel about someone. Suck it up and work together.
"Rocky" is stupid. Just shut up.
The women are stupid. When Ravu arrived at the reward challenge, the ratio of men to women jumped right out at me. The challenges aren't just physical strength, and this strategy of keeping the men around obviously isn't working. It's time to rethink that (though they might be doing that as Anthony is likely their next to go). It's no better on Moto where two women think they have a chance in an alliance with three men. There have been strong male/female alliances in the past, but more often than not, the men stick together. Everyone who has read this blog since the start, please repeat after me... WATCH THE DAMNED SHOW! The first person voted out of Moto was yes, a woman. Not that Liliana wasn't asking for it.
Liliana is stupid. On paper it seems like a good idea. Suck up to the men, give them backrubs, use your sex appeal. Except that this never works as the women can see what you're doing and as soon as they get the chance, your ass is gone. If you're going to try flirting as a tactic, at least be subtle about it.
"Dreamz" is stupid. What the hell was that? Do you really think that there are no alliances in your tribe? Here's a hint - if you don't think there are any alliances in your tribe on Survivor, you're in HUGE trouble as that just means that nobody has approached you about one and you were too stupid to approach anyone else. Then to top that stupidity off by calling a tribal meeting and throwing out two names for elimination, not giving any thought to them as people. It's one thing for someone to think they're expendable, it's another to go out and say it in front of everyone. That's not just stupid, that's being an ass as well. He's just lucky to be a strong man or he could well have been gone this week.
The men are stupid. See "The women are stupid" above. As much as physical strength is good to have around, it's also important to have brains and a cohesive tribe. Get over yourselves already.
Moto is surprisingly very, very stupid. What the hell?!!? Probst had a sealed bottle with him this week, something that's never good, and it was to go to the winning tribe after the Immunity Challenge. What was in the bottle? A choice. Comfort or Immunity. Easy decision, right? They just lost Gary for health reasons, if they go to Tribal Council, they'll lose another tribemate which will bring them back to even numbers with Ravu. But no. The morons chose comfort! Every single one of them who voted for comfort is very stupid. You never know how safe you really are (right, "Dreamz"?) so you never want to put yourself at risk if you don't have to.
I really hope Liliana voted for comfort. And I really, really hope they lose the next immunity. How comfortable will that couch and bed be then?
They're stupidity doesn't end there. I'm trying to find good reasons for them to send the people to Exile Island that they have been, and there's been nothing consistant. Exile Island is still relatively new, this is only the third season of it, but it would be great to see a tribe use it to try and weaken their opponents. If they were just sending players they're perceiving as weak so they can have a chance at getting the hidden immunity, that would be one thing, but they sent Earl, someone nobody could call weak.
I still can't believe they chose comfort. Yeesh.
The producers are stupid. A bed! On Survivor! As if the couch and everything else at the Moto camp wasn't bad enough! Sure, it's been interesting to finally see how this has worked out, but it still takes away from the integrity of the game.
So much stupidity. Four episodes in and there is nobody I want to cheer on to win. That's not a good sign. That doesn't make the season horrible to watch though. It just means fewer highs and lows. It is unfortunate that the only reason to cheer against certain people or tribes is to see their idiocy hurt them.
I'm not big on alcohol, but I need a drink after watching this one...

P.S. It seems there are people out there not sure what it was that snake was regurgitating (I just read the Survivors Strike Back blog at CBS.com, and two people there were asking). It was shedding its old skin. If you look back, you'll see its old skin collapse once it was left it. It was fascinating and disgusting all at once! Dang, biology is awesome.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired February 25

2007-03-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

It was another hour long episode this week, but instead of duets it was the Sandys performing only. With everything else that has gone wrong with this show, they've actually had some good ideas. By having just the women perform this week and just the men next week, it allows them to cut out a lot of the filler they'd need if they kept the show at two hours or even ninety minutes. This is an advantage they have over a show like, say, So You Think You Can Dance, which has couples perform all the time so they can't do anything like this to make for a tighter episode. The bad news, and there's always bad news, is that this means the show is going to last at least one extra episode.
So being Ladies Night, they started with a women's song, "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee". I couldn't see any of them playing Rizzo, they lacked the necessary edge for a song that is about being a little cruel towards someone, but they all did a good job and had fun with it. Maybe it's because nobody's competing in these group numbers so they're all more relaxed, but it always seems like people do better in these than they do in their actual competition songs.
The special guest this week is Frankie Avalon, who you might remember as the (slightly old) Teen Angel singing "Beauty School Dropout" from the movie, and even more important, he was Frankie opposite Annette in the Beach movies! However, unlike previous guests, he's not there to judge but to sing his famous Grease song. For the first time since the show went live, we're going to have a three-person panel.
Before getting to the competition, we got a look at the competitors over the last week where they were doing a lot more in the way of acting, and this included a lot of shots of different Dannys and Sandys kissing. This is one thing that's disappointing me about this series. The competitors have to be a triple threat of singing, dancing, and acting. Every week we see them sing, and quite often we get to see them do some moves. However, the only acting we're really shown is any they do while they're singing. Damn it, I want the chance to judge them as complete stage performers! It would be a little harder to pull off a completely non-musical episode, but we should at least get a chance to vote for the whole package.
The bottom four this week are Chad, Kevin, Kate, and Kathleen. Yes, despite how horribly he missed some notes last week, Derek is safe. I'd put money on which Danny is leaving, but the Sandys are too close to call. We're going to have to wait until later to say goodbye to anyone though. Before that, we get to see the safe women compete.
Ashley - Her scene partner over the week was Kevin, and we do get to see some acting, but just a taste. Damn you, producers! This sucks! Unlike Ashley's singing. Not that she blew me away. Performing "These Boots Are Made For Walking", she had some good moves that fit in with the song, but there was something lacking in her vocals. The woman in this song is strong and she's not going to put up with some guy's crap. She didn't make me feel that. With only four women left after tonight, they're going to have to do much better than this.
The Dannys may have not been competing tonight, but that didn't mean they got to slack off. Instead, they were employed as dancers for the women. Some used more than others, but they all got some stage time. I liked this idea.
Going to the panel, Kathleen loves Ashley, but she wishes she wasn't so poised and would like her to show more passion. Jim, ever the filthy old man, liked her in her boots and thought she was great. David was unconvinced by her, and would like to see more passion as well. His socks, he claimed, weren't knocked off.
Allie - Her scene partner was Max, and apparently there is some real life flirting going on with them. I will not make any jokes about straight guys in musical theatre, but feel free to insert your own here. However much real life flirting they were doing, Kathleen didn't see it in their performances and didn't much care for their scenes.
Just like I didn't care much for Allie's song, "It's Oh So Quiet". It wasn't her fault, it's the song I don't like. I did like what she did with it though and she was having fun up there. That's really what matters here. It doesn't matter how technically good you are as a singer, we need to feel you in the song. That's true in any singing venue, but more so in a musical where the songs are often ways of communicating your inner voice and feelings to the audience.
Kathleen thought she was fun, free, and real, and would like to see her bring this to her scenes. Jim said it was musical comedy at its best. Carrie Ann Inaba said... oops! Dancing With The Stars doesn't start until March 19! Will I cover it? I'd like to, but five shows going at once may be a little too much. Besides, I still haven't watched last season yet, and I've still got it on tape. Anyway, David thinks Allie needs to work on her acting, because in a competition where they're looking for a triple threat, will two out of three be enough?
Laura - Her scene partner was Derek, and Kathleen's criticism was that she shouldn't just be sweet, she should be sultry too.
Someone was listening, because when she sang "Fever", she was sultry as heck! Dang, Laura, between this performance and "Jesus Christ, Superstar", you just became the front runner! There's been too much worrying about singing with polish, and it was great to see someone not only concern themselves with the emotion and to do it this well! Easily the performer of the night.
The panel seemed to agree. David got very alliterative and said she was sexy, sultry (see?), sophisticated, and she sizzled. Jim said she reached another level of "WHOOOO!". Kathleen thought she was watching a star, and likes how she commits herself.
After they went backstage earlier, the bottom four shared their thoughts on being the bottom four, and surprisingly none of them wanted to go home. On stage after these shocking comments, Billy Bush announced the bottom two vote getters, and it was Kevin and Kate. He then told us the name of the song they'd all be singing - Blue Moon, from the movie Grease. And from rock'n'roll history, but we can pretend it didn't exist before 1978 if you'd like.
All of them were okay. There wasn't one of them I wanted to see saved based on this performance alone. Sure, they sang it prettily enough, but it goes back to feeling them in the song.
This week was Jim's turn to do the dirty work, and they saved Kathleen and Chad. To their credit, Kevin and Kate maintained a very positive outlook about this result and their futures in the business. I liked that a lot.
Kathleen - Her fellow bottom four dweller, Chad, was her scene partner. As it turns out, Kathleen has never had a stage kiss before. It worked out to her advantage, because it added to her awkwardness as Sandy with Danny trying to kiss her. Kathleen really liked her vivaciousness in the scenes.
Unfortunately, her song this week, "Let's Hear It For The Boy", was her worst one yet in my opinion. Her vocal wasn't great, and she seemed to be trying too hard to be fun. Kudos to her for trying to bring the right emotion to the song though. It just has to be natural.
David didn't think that was her best vocal either, and she seemed to be out of breath for much of the song. He said her acting scenes were fabulous (and they were what saved her), but she will have to blow them away in her performances. Jim agreed with David, and said her acting took his heart. Judge Kathleen is a fan of Competing Kathleen, but isn't sure if this role is right for her.
Finally we got Frankie Avalon singing "Beauty School Dropout" with the remaining Sandys. They did a good job backing him up, but personally I would have liked them to bring more personality to it. If you watch the movie, look at the Pink Ladies. They may only be backing him up, but their characters still shine through.
After this it's more video time, and we get to hear who the Sandys feel are their favourite Dannys, and this is balanced out by the Dannys smack-talking each other. It was quite enjoyable to see. If we could see more backstage bitchiness and less Billy Bush, this would be a far better show.
The panel then gave their opinions as to the best Sandy of the night, and it was Laura in an unanimous decision. I fully concur. Good job, panel.
As is the custom, our rejected Danny and Sandy each got to sing one last time. Kevin's rendition of "Sandy" wasn't bad, but it really didn't tug at the ol' heartstrings enough. At least it did tug a little bit though, to his credit. His "Oh, Sandy..." at the end, however, was very good. Acting! There may just be some thespian in this boy yet!
Kate started out with some microphone problems, but that was sorted out quickly enough to give us what was possibly the best "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" yet. In fact, she did such an excellent job at it that I was quite pissed we didn't get to hear more of her and got too much of the other Sandys singing with her. I haven't been a fan of this arrangement from the start, because it doesn't give the departing woman enough lines in her own farewell song, but this was too much. If she had been bringing this much emotion to the rest of her performances, we would have been seeing quite a different result this week, I'm sure.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired February 25

2007-03-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, that was an emotional roller coaster! I was laughing, cheering, and on the edge of my seat preparing for disaster!
Yet for such a great and scary episode, I'm not sure where to start writing. Hmmmm.
Okay, I didn't watch Charla and Mirna's original season, so I have to admit I'm a little surprised by how clearly insane they are, especially Mirna who freaked out over our beloved Beauty Queens following them when she and her cousin paid a cab driver to lead them to their next destination. It was going to take all their money! The Miss Americas should at least pay half!!! FINE! WE'LL JUST SIT HERE!!! Yes, this standard Amazing Race strategy of following someone else was so horrifying that Mirna and Charla were willing to throw the game in order to stop it from happening.
It didn't get any better for them after the Beauty Queens left them and the cabbie refused to take them any further. Do you blame him? How could he not be sure this crazy woman wasn't trying to get him to lead her somewhere secluded to murder him on camera? It didn't help when she started shouting and throwing her fanny pack with all the money at him.
If her Amazing Race experience doesn't end with Mirna getting an ambassador position somewhere, something is horribly wrong with the world.
The cherry on top of this whole insane sundae was Charla telling us how much more moral she and Mirna were than, that beauty is only skin deep and she made some snarky comment about plastic surgery.
I don't know what Kandice and Dustin are like at the pit stops, but this is now two races in a row they've managed to stir up a lot of antipathy from other teams. I always hate to accuse haters of jealousy (I got so sick of that in Big Brother 6), but I'm wondering if some of these teams might not be a little jealous that the Beauty Queens rock so much.
At least they're entertaining. I never watched Kevin and Drew's original season, but I have to think they were a whole heck of a lot better than they were this season. Either they were more fun in either a good or a bumbling way, or they were much, much better racers. This is All-Stars, and all I'm going to remember of them are two bald men who moved slowly and complained a lot. Hell, I can just look at my husband for that.
If I had a husband, but the concept amused me.
Now Drew, or Kevin (which was which?), did have some bad luck with his fall and never did seem to recover, but that doesn't excuse them taking a spot that could have gone to Lori and Bolo or, dare I say, Jonathan and Victoria.
I'm sure they have their fans, or they never would have been back, but I'm not going to miss them. I do hope that Kevin, or Drew (whichever one it was) is feeling better now.
Just as I won't miss Mary and David when their time comes. How was that for a segue, huh? Pretty smoooooth. And it helps to distract you from noticing that we're not finished this thing, yet I just gave away the ending. Anyway, Mary and David, or more specifically, Mary. She didn't take it too well when Mirna and Charla's car passed them late in the leg. She missed the Cho brothers from last season who would wait for her and even gave her team a Fast Forward. But these sanctimonious bitches zipped right past them, like this was a race or something! Well, that's the end of that alliance! We didn't even get a cool nickname for them like "the Back Pack".
Expecting people to let them stay in the race ahead of them was cutely naive for once season. Two in a row? Not so much. This is where All-Stars seasons or second chances can really come back to hurt what goodwill someone has built up with the audience in their first appearance on a show. I loved Stephenie on both seasons of Survivor, but she lost a lot of fans in Guatemala (strangely enough, it was completely the opposite with Janelle on Big Brother where I was one of the few fans she lost).
But all the last place teams aside, there was a lot of excitement this week between Rob and Amber, Oswald and Danny, and Kandice and Dustin.
My heart sank when Romber and Oswanny caught a flight ahead of everyone else. Oh no! But then their flight was horribly delayed and they arrived last! Oh yes! It's bound to happen sooner or later, and while flights have been delayed before on the show, it just doesn't happen nearly enough.
At the Road Block, Dustin pulled into the lead for Miss Realivision 2007 (coming this spring on Realivision, where Miss Realivision 2006 Melissa Witek will pass on the crown to Kandice or Dustin following a gala show sponsored by Motorola and Ask.com) when she kicked butt and got the answer for the next clue faster than anyone. Oh yes! In fact, some players were so bad at this task that Romber and Oswanny caught up to the pack! Oh no!
Then came the Detour, and things didn't get any better. Romber and Oswanny finished first and got to the Pit Stop in first and second place. Oh crap!
We got to see some teams make mistakes that held them back, but not the Beauty Queens, yet somehow they were one of the last teams finished. I don't know why they did so poorly here. They are capable of doing so much better.
If that wasn't bad enough, something horrible happened on the way to the Pit Stop. At one crucial fork in the road, instead of turning left, they turned right. Oooooh crap. Two episodes in, and we're going to see a repeat of last season where it was a missed turn that did them in.
Honestly, my heart had dropped so much by this point. I was cheering when that flight was delayed and when Kandice got that clue, but now the roller coaster was at the low point of the night. That was, until the other cars started turning the same way, following the Beauty Queens as they turned right, but not so quickly following them when they discovered they were going the wrong way around went back in the opposite direction.
And so for the second leg in a row, the Miss Realivision 2007 finalists finished sixth. That's okay. They made a mistake, but this time it didn't knock them out of the game. No, it was Kevin and Drew we said goodbye to. Goodbye, mighty bald men.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired February 22

2007-02-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

Ravu confuses me. I really don't know what's going through this tribe's minds. Other than season one when Richard Hatch created the concept of alliances, when has a tribe been this fractured this repeatedly at tribal council? Now I'm not saying that's a bad thing from an entertainment perspective, but it becomes more obvious every week that this tribe has no idea how to play this game. There hasn't been a single unanimous vote so far this season, and 14 seasons in, this is a very unusual thing to see.
It's a weird thing. I've been driven crazy in the past by the incessant need for people to vote with the majority, and it's kinda nice to see a tribe not worry about that, but there seems to be no strategy at all in anything they do.
But more on the divided tribe. First, let's look at the losing tribe that can't pull out a win to save their lives.
On the slip'n'slide challenge... What the hell? You really need this win! This isn't the time to be taking dainty little steps. Watch the people who fling themselves onto the slide and follow suit! That way, even if you can't get the ball into the basket at the end, nobody can accuse you of not trying and you'll look like you really want to win the challenge. I'm particularly thinking of Syvlia, but she wasn't the only one who didn't try hard enough.
In the immunity challenge, Ravu had people taking dainty little bites and making sure the food was completely chewed before swallowing. There isn't time for that! Get it into small enough chunks to get past your gullet and swallow hard! If you start to choke, there are people standing by who can give you the Heimlich!
Before this, the most losingest tribe we ever saw was Ulong on Survivor: Palau (Stephenie and Bobby Jon's first season). They made it all the way to the merge without winning a single immunity, but for the most part, they at least tried in the challenges and were able to pick up a reward or two.
Tangent time. I will argue to my dying breath that Angie in that tribe got screwed. In the challenges, it was consistantly the women in that tribe that stepped up and gave the competition a run for their money, particularly Stephenie and Angie. Yet the stereotype that you need manly strength to win challenges held out despite the evidence to the contrary. When it's the men who keep costing you wins, it's time to look at getting rid of them. Particularly, in that season, James.
Which brings up another issue. One thing you need in Survivor is a good, strong alliance. There's no argument there. However, that alliance is going to be no good to you if it's not going to get you anywhere. Angie was hurt by the sexism inherent in thinking you need manly men to win, but she was also hurt by not being part of the alliance, the alliance that was going to be no good to anyone if it doesn't make it to the merge fairly intact. There's no point of loyalty in a game if that loyalty is going to cost you the game (as opposed to real life, for the record). James should have been cut loose and Angie brought in. If this had happened, there would have been a much better chance of more than just Stephenie making the merge.
Another great example of needing to get rid of alliance members earlier than one would have liked was in Vanuatu. It was also a great example of changing strategy when it needs to be changed, and for keeping an eye on your alliance members instead of just trusting that they'll stick to the plan. And don't be so stuck on getting one person out that it's going to cost you the game (but start voting out your alliance before getting rid of all your opposition either unless you really need to). When Scout and Twila started showing signs of disgruntlement, they should have been kicked out of the alliance and Eliza brought in. Instead, they got together with the sole remaining man, Chris, and got to Eliza first. Even though she didn't particularly like them, they made her feel safer than the others did and that helped turn the numbers away from Aimee's alliance, and that gave the game to Chris who got to the end against all odds.
So why am I spending so much time looking at past seasons, other than for the lessons they have to impart? Well, I hate to say this, so far this has been the most boring season yet. At least when Ulong was losing, they had tribe members you could cheer on. Three episodes into Fiji and there's still nobody I care about. Ravu is an underdog, but they are seriously lacking the spunk or any other redeeming qualities that would make me want to see them persevere.
Even though we know little about the people on Moto because they do keep winning, we at least have had "Boo" and his accident prone ways to enjoy, but at the immunity challenge this week he showed himself to be a sanctimonious twit over a little smack talk from a tribe that needs to win and could use a little psychology against their opponents to help them do it.
However, who would have thought that the first member of Moto to risk leaving the game because of injury would be Gary? He took a pretty bad fall in the first competition, resulting in him being unable to breathe properly. Suspecting a broken rib or worse, the medics were called in to check him out and they passed him as healthy enough to keep playing. He managed to do quite well in the eating competition, but judging by the previews for next week, it's not looking good.
It'll take a lot for Survivor to match Treasure Hunters though. That show had only one season, yet they managed to have two game ending injuries and one game inhibiting injury (if you didn't watch Treasure Hunters or follow Realivision's fine recaps (my pride and joy of my recaps, I must say), then you missed Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek, playing with a hairline fracture in her arm). Damn, it would be nice to have a Kayte Fogal on this season of Survivor. She made my job so much easier.
So how broken is Ravu as a tribe? First there was "Rocky" coming up with an idea, but instead of presenting it to the group like a normal person, he had to make it clear that he wasn't trying to be a leader, he's just throwing it out there, and they can decided if they think it's a good idea or not. This hatred of leaders thing is pathetic. It's one thing if the person who tries to step up is a horrendous leader, but it's another because everyone loathes being told what to do. This tribe deserves to be decimated.
Where does the tribe stand on who to vote out? Mookie was pissed with Anthony's performance during the immunity challenge, so he wanted to see him gone. Then there was the contigent who still wanted to say goodbye to Sylvia. "Rocky" put it out there that she might have the hidden immunity idol, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to put a few votes towards Anthony so that if Sylvia does have the idol, the vote will then deflect to him. It was actually not a bad idea, and one would like to think that's why the vote went the way it did, but with this tribe at this point, you really have to suspect the worst.
Perhaps the most bizarre moment was Rita talking about making a move, then being the only person to vote against Earl. I really don't understand this tribe.
Well, if the split vote was part of a plan in case Sylvia had the hidden idol, it was for naught as she was indeed immunity idol-free. Even tough she was the underdog on a tribe of underdogs, I'm not going to miss her. She didn't play to stay other than some half-hearted digging for the idol, so having her leave is no loss.
If I'm mistaken and the split votes were the plan, then I'd like to apologize to Ravu for thinking they're completely useless as a tribe.
There was one bright spot for Ravu. Michelle, who I don't care for thanks to her entirely uncalled for and unexpectedly intense hatred for Sylvia, was able to start a fire without flint thanks to the use of a pair of spectacles. It's about time someone's glasses were put to this use! As long as a tribe has lenses, barring nothing but cloudy or rainy days, there is no excuse for them to go without fire.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired February 18

2007-02-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

I know this is being posted later than I would have liked, but with three shows on Sunday now I have to work out the best way to schedule the time. However, I am so dedicated to you, the reader, that I'm going to get this written right now despite having a splitting headache. Hopefully the Tylenol will kick in before I have to talk about Billy Bush. No, on second thought, I want it to go away so no Billy Bush talk this week at all. I just can't promise much in the way of humour.
The first thing of note this week was that the show went suddenly from two hours to one. Either they were going to have a mass exit to speed things up to the end, or it's Duets Night. It makes sense. Danny and Sandy need chemistry, so it's a good idea to have the men and women perform together.
The show started with the usual group performance, this week it was "Born To Hand Jive". The dancing by everyone was pretty good, but when it came to solo singing in the song, some of the voices far outclassed others. It went by pretty quickly though, so I didn't have time to take notes.
This week's guest panelist was Jon Secada. A singer I've heard of, but what qualifications does he have for this? It turns out he's played Danny on Broadway. Alright, good enough for me.
Before getting to anything else, we got a video trip through the last week where contestants demonstrated their egos while doing a little trash talk against their competitors. Oooooh. It might not have been so awkward if they had the opportunity to see this before it aired. Ah well, it was pretty obvious they weren't all friends anyway.
Because of the once a week nature of the show, the producers can't keep the suspense over eliminations going for too long, and as the two that aren't cut need to compete still, it's right to the bottom four. This week, it's Jason, Juliana, Kevin, and Kathleen, and the two Js got the lowest votes from the viewing audience.
The good news? The Tylenol seems to be working and while my head still hurts, the worst of the pain has passed.
The song they would have to perform was "Those Magic Changes" and it was more evidence that the women in this competition are light years ahead of the men. Juliana and Kathleen sang it very well, and with feeling. Jason and Kevin both sang it tunefully, but neither of them had any emotion behind the song. If you're going to be performing in a musical, you'd better be able to put that emotion into whatever you're singing. The songs usually have a reason to be there, they are part of the story and help show the audience what you're feeling at that moment. If Sandy just left you at the drive-in, you have to let us know how much you love her in your song!
Judge Kathleen got to make the call this time around, getting to save Kevin because he was one of the best singers and Contestant Kathleen because she was one of the best actresses.
In her final words, Juliana said she would have liked a chance to show more of what's inside her and do some more different styles. In his, Jason said he would have liked to have been able to impress David this week. Enough chitchat though, let's get on to the competition.
Ally & Chad - "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". The singing was pretty good, and I thought these were Chad's strongest vocals to date. The chemistry between the two of them was okay, but they didn't blow me away.
They did a better job on the panel though. Jon thought they were absolutely electric. Kathleen said that Chad really rocked out and that Ally came back from her bottom four placing last week like a pro. Jim said that Ally hit him in the heart, and that Chad was wonderful. Dave called it "theatrical Viagra". He said Chad needs to go big, and that Ally was fantastic.
Austin & Laura - This is tricky, because "I Don't Know Much" is one of my favourite romantic songs, so they'd better do it justice. Luckily they did a great job, and I really liked their chemistry. For me, it was the chemical reaction of the night.
David believed they were in love. Jim said that they told a story and it was dramatic. Kathleen loved both of them, Austin has charisma and Laura is getting stronger every week. Jon thought they were fantastic and had great personalities.
Headache update - the pain is almost gone. Good job, Tylenol! I'm still going to get this done and head to bed though.
Max & Ashley - "It Takes Two", a Donny and Marie classic! I really didn't feel the chemistry, unfortunately, but at least they did a decent, fun performance. There was one great moment in the song where Ashley did a little giggle which added a heck of a lot of personality into everything.
Jon thought they looked relaxed. David said that Max is engaging and real, and that Ashley should work to keep it real (did he not hear the great giggle?), the jerk. Jim thought that Max was great and that Ashley is getting better. Kathleen likes Max's humour, and thought Ashley was relaxed and playful. Did you hear that, David? Ha!
Derek & Kate - Singing "From This Moment On", Derek missed some very unfortunate notes early on, something you can't afford to be doing at this stage of the game. The chemistry was okay, but as the song progressed both it and the singers got stronger and stronger.
David said it was sort of okay, Derek didn't wow him and he definitely noticed the missed note. He thought Kate needs more charisma, and she left him bored. Jim and Kathleen had the same issues, the former saying they can do better and the latter thinking Kate needs to be more spontaneous. Jon said they shouldn't be afraid to "go for it."
Kevin & Kathleen - Before getting to their song, we heard their reactions to being in the bottom four. Kevin said he was happy to be saved and that he will "bring it". Kathleen was thankful to be saved, and she promised to sing her butt off. In other words, they said the same thing in other words.
Singing "Something To Talk About", I thought they did a good enough job, though not exactly bringing it or singing their butts off. However, I thought they did have more chemistry than most of the couples we'd seen.
David thinks that Kevin has a big voice but he's small on charisma and star quality, and told him that his days are numbered (which will surely cause a lot of horror online and result in him getting a lot of votes just to put that mean judge in his place (seriously, I've seen this happen on Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance (which is a lesson to judges, if you think that someone needs to go, don't tell them that or you'll end up keeping them around longer))). Kathleen came across much better to him though, as he loved her performance though he would like to see less woman and more girl. That would have really creeped me out if Sandy wasn't an innocent girl in high school.
Jim agreed that Kathleen needs to show more innocence. He was far nicer on Kevin, saying that he's not getting the right songs for him. Kevin would like to get the right songs and show them what he can do. I felt very for him, you could really hear the sting of David's words in his voice. Judge Kathleen put in another vote for Contestant Kathleen being more innocent, but she is very strong. She also agreed with the song not being right for Kevin's voice. Jon said there seem to be problems with them not listening to each other in the song and that they're not clicking.
The best Danny and Sandy of the night? David liked Austin and Ashley. For Kathleen it was Chad and Ashley. Jim and Jon agreed on Chad and Ally. I must have missed something in Chad's performance. Maybe they were impressed because he was so much better than he's been yet.
It looks like the goodbye songs will be the same each week. Jason's "Sandy" was okay, but there was not enough longing in it at all. Matt had so much more emotion in his version last week, and he has nowhere near the voice talent that Jason possesses. Matt drew out an "Awwww!" from the audience when he was finished. Jason drew out polite applause.
Juliana, however, was very good in her version of "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)". It's just a shame that the remaining women had to join in, because I would have liked to have heard more of her. And yes, that "(Reprise)" has to be there. I checked the album last week and that's the title of that version, because the first "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee" is sung by Rizzo when the Pink Ladies are all in Jan's bedroom and Frenchie has taken Sandy into the bathroom to pierce her ears. Do you see now why I have to watch this show?
My headache is completely gone now, but I'm tired so I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired February 18

2007-02-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Surya was angry after last week's boardroom. Oh, he was PISSED! So full of righteous fury was he that it was all I could do to not shout "SHUT THE HELL UP!" at my television. He was just that mad.
Um, get over it? He has family, a job, and a reputation to go back to after this is all over. I usually recommend that people watch the show they're going to compete on to get an idea on how to succeed in the competition. This time, I would have recommended that Surya watch the show before going on to see what show he was going on. Besides, by the time this is all over for him it's highly likely there will be much more happening to hurt his reputation than one boardroom, and in order to hasten that along he demanded to be the next project manager. Okay, Mr. Raging Hair, let's see how you do.
Huh. All this time doing this blog, and I just noticed I can do this or this or even this. I promise I won't (usually), but damn, how could I have missed that? There is one button for Edit Html, and one for Compose. I've always just stayed on the default Edit Html side because it does everything I want it to. Yes, I'm digressing. What do you want me to do, talk about Aimee? Fine.
Aimee was feeling pretty good about herself after last week's victory, and she was pretty sure she's the pinnacle of management excellence. She is a glorious Golden Goddess and her minions flock to her light where she leads them to decisive, historic victories that will be sung of by bards for millennia to come. Her team, however, felt a little different and they pretty much won the last task in spite of her. Well, with the new rule for winning project managers she now has a second chance to prove to them just how fantastic she really is.
This week's task is pretty simple. Each team was to go to a different shopping mall in Las Angeles and get people to enter a Priceline.com sweepstakes. The team with the most people signed up wins. Set up an attractive booth and get out there and sell, sell, sell. How much easier can it get?
Kinetic already has an ace up their sleeve. Come meet an Olympic Gold Medalist and enter a free sweepstakes! HOW DID THEY NOT USE ANGELA FOR THIS?!?!? Are they under some sort of injunction that prohibits them from using her as a spokesperson for anything other than honey? I liked the tropical themed booth they had set up, even though Aimee really didn't like an inflatable pink octopus. She reeeeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy didn't like it. She didn't like it so much that I have a feeling she was letting out all her sublimated hostility over never being able to make a decision at it. Well, at least she knows how to delegate poorly without putting enough thought into it. That's a skill that will do well for her in life.
Derek and Jenn were walking through the location with a mall representative and Derek asked what the ethnic makeup of the mall customers was, and she told him it was 50% Hispanic and 50% trailer park trash. Ha! Noooo, she didn't call the honkies that! I did wonder why the heck Derek would ask that, but as it turned out, it was a good question. I live in a fairly linguistically homogenous city in a fairly linguistically province in Canada. We do have some French enclaves around Alberta, but for the most part you'd have to head much further east for language to be an issue.
Aimee is from Chicago, so I'm actually on her side that it may not have occurred to her that many of the mall customers might have a problem with English. Derek not only asked the question of the mall representative, he's also from L.A. and he speaks Spanish. That they didn't have translators there and all their signs, ads, and computer sign-up bilingual falls largely on his shoulders.
"Watch the damned show" comes into play here as well. One thing that usually works out very well on The Apprentice is doing casual focus groups. Go talk to your potential customers. If someone bothered going through the mall talking to customers to find out what would attract them to the sweepstakes, the language issue would have come up a lot sooner. This also gave us something for future Apprentices to learn from when they watch this damned season. If you're going to be competing in a location you're not familiar with, and you know where it's going to be, study up on it. Learn everything you think you may need to know for what may come up.
Over on the Arrow side, Surya continued to make himself into someone it will be very pleasant to see fired. The task is getting people to sign up for a sweepstakes. That's it. Yes, it's more than just setting up a table and waiting for people to come to you, but it's not that much more. The way he was approaching it though, you'd swear he was getting ready for a hostile takeover of the Coca-Cola company. He really doesn't fit in with his team. It's like putting Sean Penn in with the Three Stooges. Not that Sean Penn is dour and humourless! Oh, wait. Yes, because Sean Penn is dour and humourless. (I'm thinking back to a recent dour and humourless Academy Awards appearance he made, when he didn't much like the host's joke at the expense of a fellow dour and humourless actor.) Arrow may be a little too goofy at times, but at least they work well with people on their own wavelength.
"Frankie Suits" annoys the hell out of me, but he can sell up a storm unlike Surya who appeared to have no luck with his little walk around the mall. That was bad, but even worse is that his team had no idea where he went. Really, if you're going to disappear, tell someone. Especially if you're the project manager, and even if your team does better without you.
So much better, Arrow won. The lack of understanding of the mall's clientele likely killed Kinetic in this task. Having everything bilingual and hiring an interpreter or two could have made all the difference in the world.
The reward Arrow got for winning this task, other than getting to move back out of the tents, was a surfing lesson from a couple of champion surfers followed by supper at a fancy restaurant. It all seemed fun until the waves got bigger and bigger. It really didn't seem safe for a beginner out there. Someone might get... Ouch! Nicole got hurt! It was bad enough that she had to go to the doctor, and Tim volunteered to go with her. This romance is really heating up! But first, what about her injury? Will she have to play the rest of this season on crutches? It wouldn't be the first time a reward caused that to happen, and what was the result? Possibly the best second place finisher ever, Rebecca (I say not having seen season 1 and having heard good things about Kwame but not seeing him in action hurts him in the ratings). Too bad Rebecca wasn't in this season or the last. She'd be owning the competition. Anyway, nothing was sprained or broken. It was a jellyfish sting. Well gee, if they knew that earlier, Tim could have peed on her foot for nothing!
I don't know if the doctor gave her something for it, but back at the mansion she was able to jump into the pool easily enough. Then she and Tim kissed. Awwwww! The big romance that's been blossoming all season is finally blooming! And I still don't care about either of these two, even though Tim does play a wicked piano.
Going into the boardroom, Aimee planned on calling on Derek for not telling her about the ethnic makeup of the mall, and sure enough she did. It was so obvious that Trump should fire either him or Jenn for not telling her about the 50% of Hispanics! Imagine her surprise when pretty much the whole team called her lack of management style into question. She really was surprised. She's the Golden Goddess of Management! If looks could smite...
Things didn't get any better for her when her team kept telling The Donald that she is no Heidi. They praised Heidi's leadership more in this boardroom than they did at all while she was project manager. The best part of this is that it gives me a great excuse to go into my weekly Heidi segue and boardroom style comparison.
Surya did a far better job sitting at Trump's side than Aaron or Aimee did, but he didn't quite match Heidi's poise, confidence, or ability to say the right things. On the plus side, he didn't fall as far from all that as the other two did. He was competent, which is something he hasn't been showing much of lately.
Something else occurred to me about Heidi this week. I really like the way she's playing this. Yes, she did very well as a winning PM in the boardroom, and while she didn't blow me away as PM, she was a solid performer in that position. If you notice, we haven't really seen or heard much from her since then. Believe it or not, I actually think that's a good thing.
It means she isn't out there actively putting down the other PMs on her team, and each task she's in there working hard for them. One of the biggest mistakes we see every season on The Apprentice is that too many people want to be the leader and get all bristly when someone else is PM. Yes, Trump is looking for a good leader. But he's also looking for someone who can be lead and is a smart, capable team player. I would like to see her step up a little more if a PM is failing, but she's not creating pointless friction and that's a good thing.
This is a show that makes it pretty impossible to fly under the radar. If you're not pulling your weight in a team, it will be noticed. If you're not willing to be a project manager, it will be noticed. You can't win this show if you've never been a PM. So just because we're not seeing a lot of someone, it doesn't mean they're playing to fly under the radar. It means they're not PM, not creating drama, and not a disaster.
I can see one thing about Heidi that will probably turn a lot of people off her. At times she does have a bit of an air of smugness about her. When she was being praised by her team, she couldn't keep that smile off her face, despite at times looking like she was trying to hide it. The smugness came through, but I also saw a little embarrassment and some genuine happiness at the kind words. Who wouldn't be affected by that show of support?
I wasn't sure at first, but I'm making it official. Realivision is now cheering on Heidi to win.
Back to the boardroom, Aimee chose to bring back Derek and Jenn with her, which was no big surprise. They were the two who knew about the ethnic makeup of the customers, and neither of them bothered to mention it to her, and this was the big focus of the night. They didn't tell her, but she didn't ask. She also didn't think about it herself by taking time to actually look around the mall. I agree she should have done that, but out of fairness, I don't think the language thing would have occurred to me either. I don't see that as a bad thing. "Look at all these Hispanic-looking people. Oh dear, they must all speak only Spanish!" No, I can't hold that against her. Losing this task fell more on Derek and Jenn's shoulders if it was all about the language barrier.
The thing is, it wasn't all about the language barrier. Aimee was just an awful leader. Maybe in a real life situation she's a lot better, but not here. Maybe it's the fear of looking bad on television or not wanting to give her teammates cause to want her gone that caused her to be that bad, but if so, in the end it cost her everything. Well, not everything, but this competition anyway.
That said, she really did seem to have an overinflated opinion of her abilities. She was pissed when she was fired! Getting into the car after leaving the boardroom, she looked at Derek and Jenn and said something angry. I can't read lips, especially from the side, and there was no sound, but yes, it was definitely not "Goodbye and good luck!"
Her bitterness shone through in her final words, and bitterness is usually the name of the game there. Perhaps she should have had an Apprentice Night with Surya before they started the competition to see just what show it is they were going to be on. Do people sign up for Survivor then act surprised that they're going to be stranded on an island? Boardrooms are going to be cutthroat, and your flaws are going to be exposed. Sorry. You should have known that going in.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Aired February 18

2007-02-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

It was with some trepidation that I approached the All-Stars season of The Amazing Race. Would it be the abomination that Survivor: All-Stars and Big Brother: All-Stars were? Rob and Amber are participating, so that's not a good start (though to be fair, they are actually really good at this game, and very nearly won last time). The big thing working in favour of Amazing Racing skipping the All-Star curse is that it's a much different game, and it's never really been about alliances so any pre-season alliances made won't make much difference. The very nature of the show also makes it that much harder for the producers to tip it in favour of any particular contestants.
I didn't come to The Amazing Race until several seasons in, a mistake I now regret. However, the advantage to that is that I'm not familiar with some of the teams which helps alleviate one of the other problems of All-Star seasons - getting sick of seeing some of the faces. Realivision is once again firmly in the corner of the Beauty Queens, Dustin and Kandice, but with teams we don't know it's entirely possible we may end up endorsing another team before the end. I hope not, as it would be great to see an all-female team win, but that also depends on how far the Beauty Queens make it. Speaking of which, last season I kept referring to them as Team Miss America. To avoid confusion, I will use the same team name everyone else does. Beauty Queens, or BQs, it is.
It's nice to see some teams in action that I've only heard of, and some that I've never heard of (John Vito and Jill?) so it's a little like an All-Star season and brand new teams all in one.
One of the teams is very much brand spanking new. If you remember the Frat Boys from a couple of seasons back, one of them is back and dating half of another team from his season, Danielle. No, I couldn't remember who she was either. Her team went out fourth I believe, and she's likely here because she's dating Eric. I know! I'm surprised he's with a woman too! Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Not that anyone should care, but who am I familiar with this season? There are the aforementioned Beauty Queens, Romber, Eric, and even Danielle a little. Didn't her team dress in pink a lot? There is Kentucky (Mary and David), and the only winners invited back, Uchenna and Joyce. I wasn't watching the show yet, but I did see one episode with Charla and Mirna when they first appeared. It's possible that may have been to see how former Big Brother House Guest Alison was doing, but if I remember correctly, Mirna had somewhat of a crush on host Phil Keoghan. Oh Phil, I've missed you.
It was season six when I started watching The Amazing Race, and what a season to start. I was cheering on Lori and Bolo, but one of the greatest reality villains was born that year with Jonathan, of Jonathan and Victoria screaming at each other fame. How could I have missed out on five wonderful seasons of this?
That means coming into this I have no idea who Kevin and Drew, Oswald and Danny, John Vito and Jill, Teri and Ian, or Joe and Bill are. That's almost half the teams! Throw Danielle in, and it's 50/50.
One of the things you'd think would change this season is that people would learn more from the past. If a clue says "North Entrance", you really don't want to be trying out the South Entrance. "Oh, it might work!" NO IT WON'T! Some map reading skills would have been a good thing to pick up, and learning some of the different languages would be invaluable, though this first leg took them to a Spanish-speaking country, and every racer knows "Rapido!" by heart, and they all seem fond of repeating it over and over again.
We didn't see too much of Team Realivision... um, the BQs and that's a mixed blessing. On the one hand, they weren't likely to be eliminated. On the other, they're probably going to be in the middle of the pack for now. That's okay, they came in 6th and that's far better than last. Until there are only six teams, that is.
One moment they had on screen was interesting. Kentucky, or Mary in particular, seemed to like them even less now than when they were racing last. I'm only guessing here, but maybe she didn't like how they were against Team Alabama, Kentucky's fellow Back Pack alliance chums. Get over it, Mary. Kandice and Dustin were there to race, not participate in a box social spanning multiple continents.
It was a hoot to see Mary trying to play dirty by lying to the BQs about which airplane was the best to catch then immediately whispering to the team behind them, sending them scurrying off to another ticket counter. I didn't know you had it in you, Mary. This is the same woman who seemed to think that last season was The Amazing Stroll Through A Park Making Friends.
Ooooooh, I know I'm so going to piss off Mary and David fans before this is over. Hey, I enjoyed watching them try to change their game. I just don't want them to win, even though it's very unlikely they will. If they do though, good for them. Spunky Kentuckians, that's what they are. Spunky Kentuckians. It was cute watching them get all star-struck over Rob and Amber, and even a little over Mirna and Charla (who in turn were a little star-struck by them).
Airport shenanigans are one of the greatest things about The Amazing Race. You have to wonder though if there are ticket agents just for the players sometimes, because it seemed like the teams at the American Airlines counter were flanked by lines on both sides, yet there was one agent suspiciously unencumbered by work. But there's no way the producers have any pull at airports, eh, Joyce and Uchenna?
The Detour seemed a little too easy. The choice was anyway. Search a field for items that include a button, or cut some horse hooves and hair? Why Rob and Amber thought that the searching option might make more sense, well, it makes no sense. Not one other team thought it was a good idea, and it wasn't. Every one of them became equine estheticians. So the Detour was easy. Finding it, not so much.
What this leg came down to was being able to find the North Entrance of that whatever-it-was park in a timely manner. Many teams were unable to do this, John Vito and Jill least of all. I really wouldn't have put money on them being last. Kentucky, sure. Charla and Mirna, maybe. With a painful fall suffered by one of the bald men (I can't tell them apart yet), Kevin and Drew seemed the best bet. But all it takes to lose the Race is one wrong turn, one piece of bad luck. Heck, John Vito and Jill were so lost, a team with a blown tire were able to beat them.
There isn't too much to talk about yet. A lot of people running and one challenge. The drama will come soon enough.
Let the anger go, Mary. Just let it go.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired February 15

2007-02-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

One of the problems with the early episodes in any season of Survivor is that most of the time we don't have any emotional connection to any of the contestants yet. We just got over the excitement of the premiere and learning what new things we're going to see this time around, but we don't really know anyone yet. At the start of the hour there were still 18 people left, and who is there yet to cheer on or to boo?
Yes, there are people you can kind of like, and people who sort of annoy, but no real heroes or villains yet. Luckily we still have two tribes full of bone-headed contestants who have no idea how to play the game to keep us entertained, and the most accident-prone Survivor ever. Despite his annoying nickname, I may just have to cheer on "Boo" to see if he actually survives.
Before I go any further, I should say I wasn't fully focused on the show. Maybe it was because I don't care about any of them yet, maybe it's because second episodes are rarely keepers. All I know is that if I don't remember things that happened, I'm sorry. It also means this may end up being a fairly short post. We'll see at the end. But right now I'm just typing away hoping I think of something to say about the episode other than that I think Erica has the best 'fro we've seen on television in decades. Seriously, I love her hair. Her, on the other hand, not so much. Is she capable of cracking a smile? Even when she found the pineapples, her joy didn't seem to last long. Yes, we only see a small portion of what goes on with the castaways because we (thankfully) don't have live feeds à la Big Brother, so maybe she's only grumpy during those moments worth televising.
Sylvia finally arrived to join her new tribemates in Ravu, and it was obvious from the start that she was screwed by the twist last week. Her personality may have had her still in the firing line for elimination, but she would have had more of a chance than this time on Exile Island cost her. Really, Sylvia, these people just spent a couple of days bonding. They may not be giving you any chance to be part of the team, but you should still try by keeping quiet. The woman has no idea how to play the social aspect of this game. With rare and usually charismatic exceptions (I still don't get the Terry love from Panama), nobody on this show likes people who try to be leaders. Hell, they'd rather starve, freeze, and lose challenges than have someone try to step up and lead. Really, what the hell is up with people on Survivor and the leader hate? "I don't like anyone telling me what to do!" I know, I bitched about it last week too. I still don't get it.
If you're joining the tribe late, even if you think there should be a leader, don't try to be that leader. They already see you as an interloper. If you're an interloper who is trying to change the group dynamic, you're just sealing your own fate. Not that I had any doubts about her inability to play the social game, but when Sylvia spoke up at tribal council about how they should elect a leader right after everyone complained about her trying to be one, I wanted to slap her. Don't do exactly what everyone says they hate when you're sitting at tribal council!
Oh yeah, Ravu lost the immunity challenge again. That makes them underdogs, but they're far from plucky. But I want to get back to Sylvia, who was very lucky in surviving the vote.
It doesn't matter that she was right and the tribe does need a leader to help keep them focused, there is no way she is going to win this season. However, there is no reason she can't go much farther than anyone expects. The problem with that though is that it depends on some of her tribemates playing a smart game. She's got no chance. But let's pretend that there might be some capable strategists on the island. How can Sylvia benefit them? Depending on how intelligent and self-aware she really is, she should know that she is the next in line to go, barring anyone else screwing up massively (or not so massively, as we saw this week). If she wants to stay, she should know that would be up to an alliance taking her in. The only real alliance we've seen fell apart and was whittled down to one person after two tribal councils, so that's something these players really need to work on. Especially those that may not be feeling the safest. Sylvia is a vote that could sway things in your favour, and she should be grateful for any alliance that will take her in right now. Not only that, if things take a turn for the worst, she would be an easy choice to vote out first.
I don't care how much you don't like her, Michelle. She can be very useful to you. And there is another issue I have with Survivor. It's only 39 days, and it's for a million dollars. Hell, I'll share a tent with Ann Coulter and Paris Hilton for a month if it means I can win a million bucks! "I hate her so I'm going to write her name down because I don't care about the majority and I'm a pathetic whiner!" Oh, shut up Michelle. That one sentence put her right at the top of the list of people I'd gladly see eliminated.
A lot of viewers are enjoying Yau-Man, and I did at first too, but he's coming across to me as desperate to please so that he won't see his name written down, and that's just not pleasant. When Sylvia arrived at the beach, he gave her a big hug, and he used that opportunity to get a peak in her bag to see if she had the hidden immunity idol. That was a fairly good idea, but at the same time it crossed a line I think I wouldn't even cross on the show by invading her privacy. I had to say it was a fairly good idea, but unless Sylvia's not too bright, it was a pointless exercise. If you had the hidden idol, would you have it on top of everything in your bag where a quick peek could expose it? That's right, Yau-Man. The only way to tell is to really invade her privacy and dig through her bag when she's not looking.
We didn't see too much of Moto this week, a sure sign of which tribe is going to lose immunity, but besides "Boo" and his injury prone ways, we got to see "Dreamz" talking about how it's not so bad on Survivor, and how it's still much cushier than being homeless. I'd have to agree with him, but at the same time, it brings up a point about how much the show has eased up on the castaways. A couch? A couch isn't Survivor! Plans and materials for a shelter? I do like that the show keeps trying to change things up, so I'm really hoping this haves vs. have-nots twist pays off. It doesn't seem to be making any difference right now though. And at least Ravu still hasn't got fire. Theirs is still a more authentic Survivor experience, and I wish "Dreamz" was on that tribe as I'd be seriously interested to see how that compares to actual homelessness.
It would be nice to see the show go back to the harshness of its early days. Back then "Survivor" really lived up to its name. Unfortunately there were nutrition issues back then, so the producers do have to be far more careful about that. In the end it is only a game show.
I'm trying to remember back to the early episodes on previous seasons. The premiere always only has an immunity challenge because it's already a packed hour. Am I wrong in thinking that episode two on almost always has a reward challenge and an immunity challenge? Okay, I just checked CBS.com and episode two of Cook Islands had them both as one, but episode two of Amazon had separate challenges. I'm not going to try to pinpoint the season this changed, but I wonder why it did. It could have been a cost issue, or maybe they were trying to not go through too many challenge ideas per season. Or, and this is the potential reason I like, they want to give us more of a chance to know the castaways early on. Especially considering tribes are bigger now than they were in the beginning.
Ravu made a good showing at the challenge and had the lead all the way through until it came time for the puzzle. Then they didn't do so well, and Erica screaming didn't help. It didn't help them win, but did it really cause them to lose? She wasn't screaming last week and they still lost on the puzzle.
This is one of those places where the reasoning in tribes really annoys me. Every season, pre-merge, all they really think about is needing strength for the challenges. Yes, that's an important factor, but nobody ever seems to talk about the need for intelligence. Ravu had the lead up until the puzzle, but at no point did they talk about weeding out stupid tribemates. Yet we always hear about sending the weak ones home. Granted, if I was there I'd want a lot of stupid tribemates. The smart ones are the bigger threats for that million. Unfortunately, I don't think that's why the subject is never brought up.
I said that I didn't think Erica's screaming didn't cost them the challenge. I really don't think it did. However, the frustration that led to the screaming, that is not good. Going into the challenges, you want people who can keep a level head. Frustration has cost many a tribe a challenge throughout the series. It kills teamwork, and it rubs off on everyone else.
It was really a 50/50 choice when it came to the vote. Erica's frustration can be deadly in a challenge, and they desperately need to win a challenge right now. Sylvia brings out a very ugly side of some of her tribemates, and if people are wasting energy thinking about how much they don't like her, they're not going to be effective in the game (though I'd say get rid of those who are so thrown off by one person). What it came down to was "Rocky" and someone else, I really can't remember who because so few castaways are particularly memorable right now, looking ahead to the merge and who will be a bigger threat later on. I like that, but there does need to be balance. It doesn't matter if you get rid of all the threats for individual immunity now if your numbers are so depleted by the merge that you will be picked off one by one. It doesn't necessarily mean you won't win the grand prize, as Yul from Cook Islands or Chris from Vanuatu can attest. All it means is that your job will be that much tougher.
So Erica was voted off, much to her surprise. As with last week, it wasn't unanimous (not including the losing castaway's vote). Despite her seething hatred for Sylvia, Michelle still wrote Erica's name down, but Anthony voted for Sylvia. Six days in, it's a little more reasonable to have more loyalty to someone, but if you're going to be that loyal where you will go against the majority, shouldn't you be loyal enough to warn your friend that they are in danger so that they have a chance to plead their case, or at least not be blindsided? If you're not going to do that, not writing their name down is a pretty empty gesture.

I am so glad that Survivor airs on Thursdays. The Amazing Race: All-Stars premieres this Sunday, making it three shows I cover on one night. Joy.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired February 11

2007-02-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

Summer Lovin' on a cold winter night. Thank you, Grease: You're The One That I want.
Yes, "Summer Lovin'" was our opening number, and almost everyone did a swell job. Ashley Anderson showed more confidence that we've seen from her yet, but Matt Nolan once more made us question how he ever made it as far as he has. He's so out of his league in this competition that I'm feeling bad commenting on his lack of ability and it's really the fault of the producers for letting him get this much attention. What he needs more than anything else is vocal training, and it's very obvious he hasn't had any. There's no shame in needing the training and going for it. If anyone honestly thinks he currently has the voice to open a Broadway show, I'm going to have to ask why they watch with the volume on their tv off.
But enough picking on Matt! There'll be more time for that later! First, we have to hear about a new twist. It seems that the bottom two guys and bottom two gals in votes received are going to have to sing for their survival, and the panel will choose who goes home. Huh? This is the first I've heard of this rule. It's the first anyone has heard of it. It's almost like this was a last minute change in the game to prevent someone from winning who shouldn't. Remember last time around I predicted Matt would be safe this week. As soon as I heard this rule, that was my first thought. Why else would they spring this new twist out of nowhere and risk pissing off everyone who voted?
We were introduced to the panel including special guest, Andrew Lloyd Webber, then there was some footage meeting the contestants talking about the competition. If cars could run off ego, many of these people would never have to walk anywhere again. But you have to have some degree of ego to make it in that business, so it's all good.
After this it was time to find out who would make up the bottom four.
Of the men, it would be Jason and, surprise, Matt. I would have bet money that Matt got more votes than Jason, and thus the new rule. But would anyone let us know who got what? If they're planning it, it's not happening yet. I'm not surprised Jason was the other one. My entire comment on his last performance - "He sang 'Faith' and was pretty good. That's all I've got to say about him." Not exactly someone setting the show on fire.
The women were next, and the bottom two were Ashley A. and Ally. I though Ally's performance was much better than Double A's, but you never know with the voting audience and their love for plucky underdogs. Seriously, look at all the movies where the plucky underdog makes it over all the hurdles and wins. Even in the rare instance the plucky underdog loses the big game, they still win big in life because of their newfound confidence and respect. I see it all the time in watching the popularity of contestants in competitive reality shows. The people go nuts for their plucky underdogs. Stephenie in Survivor: Palau? Plucky underdog, very much loved by fans. Stephenie in Survivor: Guatemala? Ran the show, not so much loved by ex-fans. (I was still rooting for you, Stephenie!) Dancing With The Stars horror, Master P, ran out of luck when people realized that even though he was a huge underdog, he wasn't so plucky.
The point I'm trying to make is that people love their plucky underdogs, and even I'm tired of reading those two words so I'll move on to the competition, which finally started after all of this.
Max - Everybody's favourite Crumm went and got himself a haircut. He's really trying to show he can look like Danny. I wish him luck, because he does have talent. We already know he has the ability to sing, and his version of "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", while not the best version I've ever heard, was pretty darned good.
Laura - HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP! Where the hell did she come from!?!? Last time we heard her sing, my entire review of her song was, "Good. Blah blah blah." This week she kicked some serious ass with "Jesus Christ Superstar" and moved to the front of the pack with the performance of the series so far! I'm not even going to keep you suspense with this one. Nobody touched her all night. If she keeps this up for the rest of the season, the role of Sandy could very well be hers. However, we still have some very talented women to come, and even if the night is Laura's, there are still several more weeks left. But who is her best competition? We'll see soon.
Visiting with the panel, Laura blew everyone away. Jim called Max a "master storyteller", and David was very happy with the changes he's making. Andrew Lloyd Webber loved both, but he also made some very good comments and critiques that showed he's more comfortable being in this position than Olivia Newton John was. Of course, she's a performer, whereas ALW helps put huge productions together so this is something he's fairly used to.
Derek - Ooh, backup dancers! Derek gave a good rendition of this song, but I was more impressed with his dance moves. That he was able to dance as well as he did and still sing is a good indication that he could well pull off the Danny role. His song wasn't going to take anyone's breath away, but he's very capable.
Ashley S. - Ashley Spencer, you Meg Ryan lookalike, what have you brought us? "Take That Look Off Your Face", you say? No, not say, sing and act. I loved that she not only sang this song very well, but played it on her face too. One of my issues with this competition is that we're only voting on singing. I'd like to see them really give us something different and have a week of dancing and a week of acting. The prizes here are Broadway roles, and the winners should be triple threats. Give us chances to vote on singing, dancing, and acting, and you'll stand apart from other shows a lot more.
I wasn't the only one who noticed Ashley's face. Kathleen did too and commented on just that. She loved both, as did ALW. Jim loved that Derek did dancing and singing together so well, and thought that Ashley was just wow! David though that both of them were good, but he would have liked to have seen more anger in Ashley's face.
Kevin - He did "Burning Love" with backup dancers, and was pretty good but he was no Elvis. "Grease" takes place in 1959 and there are some pretty rockin' songs in it. If these contestants are going to do it any justice, they'd better start drawing out their rock'n'roll selves.
Juliana - "Don't Cry For Me Argentina". I loved it, and thought she did an excellent job. She reached me emotionally, but what do I know? I'm just an audience member.
David, for example, thought she had too much polish. He also thought that Kevin's not sexy enough yet to be the leader of the pack. ALW thought Kevin should show more character, and that Juliana was a little insecure in some notes. Kathleen wants Kevin to show off more, and she wanted Juliana to break out more and show her feelings. Jim thought both of them could have been better. Like I asked, what do I know? These are the pros.
At this point it was time to take a break from the competition and give us some filler. There was some talk with Andrew Lloyd Webber and his thoughts on the competition. A look back at the week with the cast and talk of "Phantom of the Opera", then the cast came together to sing the eponymous song from that show. It wasn't the best cast number we've seen, but it was okay. We also got to see Billy Bush prove just how horrible he is at this job when he called their guest judge "World Wide Webber". For the first of two times that night. I'll just let that sink in for a bit.
"World Wide Webber".

IT MAKES NO FREAKIN' SENSE!
Chad - He was fighting the flu when he sang "My Eyes Adore You", but he was pretty good.
Kate - She sang "Buenos Aires", a song with a very Latin beat. She sang it very well, but I would have loved to have seen some more Latin moves to go with it. Kate's from Cincinnati, and she moved like it. Luckily we're casting Sandy in "Grease", not Carmen Miranda in "The Carmen Miranda Story".
ALW, or WWW as we'd call him if Billy Bush got his demented way, didn't watch to judge Chad because of the flu, but he loved Kate. Kathleen loved both. Jim thought Chad was a little too contained, and he liked how flirty Kate was. David thought Chad was the most romantic Danny, and that Kate is really good.
Austin - "Ease On Down The Road". I lost confidence in Austin last time, but he went up in my esteem again this week. This was a very good, fun version of the song, and he danced quite well with his backup dancers.
Kathleen - My favourite Sandy last time, she did an excellent job singing "Memory". If it wasn't for Laura's performance earlier, this would have been the song of the night.
ALW wasn't sure about Kathleen at first, but he thought she got a lot better at the end. Judge Kathleen liked how physical Austin got, and she thought that Contestant Kathleen was excellent. Jim thought Austin was really able to pull the song off, and that Kathleen was fantastic. David thought Austin was the best Danny of the night, and I have to agree with him. He thought Kathleen was wonderful, and I have to agree with him again.
With all of that out of the way, we came to the Bottom Four part of the night. There was some video showing us how they took it backstage. See, voters? Look upon the pain you have wrought! Watch them cry because you voted for someone else! I hope you're happy with yourselves.
Before the song, Billy Bush announced who got the lowest votes. Yes, it was Jason and Ally. What did I say about plucky underdogs? I almost felt like this information was given as a warning to the audience. "Look what you made us do! We didn't want to have a sing-off, but you forced it upon us!" If this doesn't tell us that the new rules were a last minute change because the producers were horrified at the thought of the plucky, yet slightly (or in the case of Matt, far) less talented underdogs making it through to the end. Personally, I love this bottom four with the panel making the final decision idea. They should have thought of it from the start. It gives the audience a chance to participate, but it keeps people who shouldn't advance from going on and knocking more talented performers out. This is what they do on Rockstar an it works. No plucky underdogs there, nosiree.
If the evidence of this being a last minute decision wasn't piling up enough already, the sing-off consisted of the bottom four taking turns singing parts of "Tears On My Pillow", the same song performed at the infamous Grease Academy massacre when they cut the contestants from 50 to 24. Jason did a good job, and Matt was the best he's been yet (showing he's got potential to sing, so I really hope he looks into getting some serious voice classes). Ally was also good, and Ashley A. was very good. But was she good enough to save her from the judges' wrath? The two times we've heard Ashley A. sing this night, she's been better and showed more confidence than we've seen from her at any other time in this process. If she was this good two weeks ago, then she would have had a much better chance.
After the singing, it was up to David to drop the axe. He said they were saving Jason and that Broadway is not for beginners, and they were saving Ally because they had no idea why she was in the bottom two Sandys. David, she was in the bottom one of the Sandys because she's not a plucky underdog!
Ashley A. was a tremendous sport about this, and she said they didn't rise to the occasion when they got their second chance. Matt said he's not giving up on his dream, which is admirable but if he's going to seriously go after that dream, he really should get training. There is definitely nothing wrong with that.
And there you have it. The bottom two were saved by this new twist. Hey, I'm all for it if it means that the most deserving move on in the competition.
The episode wasn't over yet though. The saved two still need to give their performances and try to win audience votes for next week.
Jason - He got to see "That'll Be The Day", and he gave a darned good performance with a great ending. It was one of the best, if not the best, rock'n'roll songs we've seen yet. I know, that's not saying much.
David thought he needs to improve, and Jim thought he was fine. Kathleen thinks he's too slick. AJW sees improvement in him.
Ally - She gave a very good rendition of "I Don't Know How To Love Him", proving that our field of potential Sandys far outshines our field of potential Dannys.
Kathleen thought she gave a beautiful performance. Jim wants her to let us inside (and I really hope he means metaphorically), and David agreed. AJW really likes her and wants to see her draw on the expert help she has available.
David's picks tonight for the best Danny and Sandy were Austin and Laura, Kathleen liked Derek and, being the sole dissenter when it came to Sandy, Contestant Kathleen, Jim liked Max best for Danny and ALW liked Derek.
Our two rejected competitors got a chance to sing one last song. Matt sang "Sandy", showing that he does have potential with the right training, and his "Oh, Sandy" at the end was so emotional the audience gave a very sad, "Awwwwwww!" I've been hard on Matt through this whole thing, but if he can put that kind of emotion into acting, even if he can't get his voice good enough for musical theatre, it's not the only kind of theatre out there.
Ashley Anderson sang "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee", the reprise that Olivia Newton John sang sadly later on in the movie shortly before she made her transformation. Ashley A. killed it. Damn, she was good. If she had been able to bring that confidence and emotion with her earlier, she would have easily still been in the running.
Really, she was that good. I wish them both much success in chasing their dreams, but Ashley Anderson is definitely that much closer to making it happen.

Plucky underdogs.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired February 11

2007-02-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Super Bowl, we didn't get an episode of The Apprentice last week, damn their football playing, tight pants wearing hides! My disinterest in sports runs quite high, so in addition to being peeved at a week without this show or a new episode of Grease, something came up in this episode that I'm quite embarassed at missing, but more on that later.
I should also mention that in my last commentary, I commented on Kinetic having one man and Arrow having one woman left. I was mistaken. Arrow has Nicole and Stefani, two women. My mistake.
Arrow was feeling pretty darned good about themselves after their El Pollo Loco win. If you're going to win anything, win the El Pollo Loco task.
"Wow, you sucked on the show!"
"I KICKED ASS WITH EL POLLO LOCO, BUB!"
See? It's much better than winning a task that's all about honey and bees. Maybe.
"The bees... Oh god, the bees..."
Okay, that might not be a bad one to lose. You can use the bee terror as an excuse.
I can understand wanting teams to get an understanding of different parts of a business, but is it really necessary to send them out to personally harvest honey? Yeah, it was cool that they did it, but what if it turned out any of them were allergic to bee stings? Well, if it was Frank it would be funny, but not so much with anyone else. Franky Pants would instead be Franky Swollen Face Can't Breathe. Heh. Ha. Ha ha. Haahahhahh.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
No, seriously, he doesn't annoy me that much.
Arrow, despite Surya's rambling, got off to a good start and seemed to be getting things done in the office while the others were off fighting the insect menace. Not so much with Kinetic, where the bumble warriors came back after four hours to find that new project manager Aimee came up with two possible names for their honey, and got absolutely nothing else done in all that time. What the hell? Throughout this task, Aimee proved herself completely useless as a project manager. If Kinetic were to win, it would be despite her, not because of her.
This was a tough episode to call. Aimee was so useless there was no way she was going to win. What was with the shopping spree?
Not that Aaron was doing much better. No matter what Surya was doing, things did seem to be going well until it came time to start selling sweet, delicious honey. His team was doing well in sales, but the stubby man himself was... there. Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while now know there is one piece of advice I'd give to any contestant on a series that's lasted a season or more. Watch the damned show! There are certain things you must always do if you're the project manager. Delegate responsibly and intelligently and work your little butt off! Once the sales part of the task is under way, unless there are little fires you have to put out, get out there and sell.
The biggest fear on the show is getting fired, but if you try to play it too safe, you're not going to win anyway. On Survivor and Big Brother, I will argue tirelessly that flying under the radar is a valid strategy. A lot of people disagree, but not everyone can dominate those challenges. This isn't one of those shows. You need to stand out as someone competent and hard working who can take smart risks.
Back at Kinetic, the team was noticing that something needed to be done if they were going to win (unfortunately Heidi wasn't one of them, or at least we didn't see her really saying anything). Derek and Angela rose to the challenge, that's for sure. Derek put on a beekeeper outfit, which looked silly, yes, but it got attention. He also seems very personable, and that certainly helps.
Angela. Oh, Angela. Remember back at the beginning when I said I'm quite embarrassed about missing something? Kinetic has a friggin' Olympic gold medalist on their team! How have they not used this resource before? Well, not that I thought of her myself. Only Canadian gold medalists matter to me, eh! And she hasn't been getting much screen time, so it was easy to forget she's even there.
If Heidi had utilized Angela properly, Kinetic may well have won the El Pollo Loco challenge. Contact some radio stations, get the word out that an Olympic gold medalist is at the restaurant for a limited time. But they didn't, and now Aimee is the PM. But someone on the team realized that Angela is a definite asset and they quickly set up a table for her with some hand-made signage.
They were helped by another blunder on the Arrow side. With the chicken challenge, their win was aided tremendously by nice big bulk sale of chicken bowls. Hey, it worked once, why not try it again? A good reason not to try it again is because it's a different product and they were trying to get a different client. It's one thing to sell people lunch, something they can buy individually. It's another trying to sell honey in bulk to stores that can't just make purchases like that as a snap decision.
Tim and Nicole spent a lot of time driving around pointlessly, time they could have spent selling at the supermarket. The lesson there is that you have to tailor your strategy to the task. Yes, learn from what came previously (Watch the damned show!) because often tasks are pretty similar, but don't just repeat something and hope it works. At least they got some alone time together. Alone with the cameras, but about as alone as it gets when you're on a competitive reality show.
So despite Aimee's incompetence, Kinetic won. It would be pretty horrifying if they keep winning in spite of her. Imagine if they keep winning, and she stays PM. Yikes. Well, we'll see what happens next week. If Kinetic is smart, they'll use their Olympic gold medalist as an attraction when the tasks warrant it.
The boardroom wasn't the most exciting we've ever seen. The blossoming romance between Tim and Nicole came up, and Aaron brought Nicole back with him even though nobody thought she deserved to be fired. It really came down to Aaron vs. Surya. Surya wasn't a lot of help on this task, but the blame for the loss really sits on Aaron's shoulders and when he was fired, the right decision was made.
I know I keep singing the praises of Heidi in the boardroom at Trump's side, but as we see other people in that chair, it keeps getting more obvious how good she was. Last time Aaron was far too quiet, an issue that came up this week more than once. Now it was Aimee, who went too far in the other direction and she was so aggressive it was getting a little on The Donald's nerves. Sure, she was trying to save Surya, something that was pretty obvious, but in the end it's either him or her so she could have toned it down a little.
All in all, it was an okay episode. It could have used more bees though.

Survivor: Fiji - Aired February 8

2007-02-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

For the first two seasons of Survivor, I missed the first several episodes. Season one was a cultural phenomenon, but it didn't sound interesting enough at first to get me watching. One day there was nothing else to do and everyone was talking about the show. I was hooked right through to swearing loudly several times after Richard Hatch won. For the record, in hindsight I'm glad he did. My appreciation for how these games are played has long since changed, and he played brilliantly. I've also come to appreciate drama and friction on the shows, and I do regret my vote to get rid of Will Mega in season one of Big Brother. But here we are in the first paragraph, and already I'm rambling.
Season two of Survivor came around, yet in spite of getting drawn into the previous season, again I didn't feel like watching at first. It was the same story, one day came around where I had nothing else to do and once more I was sucked right in.
I learned my lesson and I've watched every season since from the premiere on. I bring this up, because one of my favourite parts of any season is the first several minutes. From Jeff Probst giving his usual countdown from 39 days to only one survivor, to the mad chaos we are often greeted with when contestants are made to jump from their ship (I know this isn't always the case, but it's always the best). Last season we had players madly grabbing for supplies before they ran out of the time. Nothing has ever topped the season (Vanuatu possibly?) where the camera pulled out from Probst's face and he was standing at the mouth of a volcano.
Unless I missed it, not only did we not get the countdown that should lead into the credits (the theme music starting after he says "one survivor" always gives it an extra punch), but the castaways were shown all together rowing on a boat. Where were the dives? The splashes? The mad swimming for safety?
Nothing. Nineteen people confused as to why they were not split into tribes yet. Congratulations, Mark Burnett, creator of Survivor. This was the most boring entry into a season yet. Luckily it's still Survivor and it's still enjoyable. But next season I want to see Probst being lowered into a shark cage as he gives his countdown and I want to see the contestants jumping from a luxury liner. Those first minutes need to GRAB us! You need to try and top Pearl Islands where Rupert won us over by engaging in a delightful act of piracy.
Okay, now that I've got that off my chest, let's get to the show and it wasn't all bad. Some of it was quite good in fact, and some of it was quite annoying. This season we have 19 contestants, though there were supposed to be 20, but one dropped out at the very last minute. That had to have pissed a lot of people off, especially the person who just missed the cut in favour of that woman (9 women, 10 men, it's easy math). Nice going, Quitty McQuitterpants.
There was a lot of consternation. Where was Probst? Where are their buffs? This was all so confusing, but it can't be good. The producers had to have something evil in store for them!
As it turns out, they did. Building. Probst threw a crate down at them as he flew by in a small plane, and I hope they tethered him before opening the door. Some of the stronger men had trouble breaking the crate open with brute strength. It took one of the oldest and physically frail men to get it open by using his brain and physic. Way to go, Yau-Man! Not only was he able to succeed where stronger men failed, but he proved himself useful around camp in many other ways right from the start, what with originally being from one of the Malaysian provinces on the island of Borneo. True fact: I lived for two years in the town of Miri, which just so happens to be in one of those provinces, Sarawak. That fact alone makes Yau-Man my early favourite, and from what I've been reading, he's an early favourite out there in Viewerland too.
The crate contained a map and instructions. The castaways were to use the map to find where a whole crapload of supplies were waiting. Once they found the supplies, they had to work together to build not just any shelter, but one of the best shelters ever on the show consisting of a sleeping area, a kitchen area, and an outhouse with a real toilet seat.
I don't know if it was coincidence, or her vocation helped get her picked for the show because of this task, but it so happens that one of the contestants is an architect. Perfect! Sylvia is an expert at this stuff, so just listen to her and you'll have it all up in no time!
Of course, this is Survivor. It's not Survivor if you don't have people bitching about being given orders. I honestly don't know how some of these people survive the real world, let alone a distant island jungle. "I don't like people ordering me around!" Suck it up! Do you even have a job with a boss at home?
Then there are those that don't want to work hard. They're on a beautiful island, can't they just relax and enjoy it? This is season 14 of Survivor. FOURTEEN! If you don't know by now that you're going to have to work, don't go! But there are still people who don't bother watching the show and learning from past seasons before they apply or are recruited. Yeah, Survivor recruits contestants. All those shows do. Something to do with not enough pretty people applying, I think. Even if a Canadian could apply, I know I'd never make it on the show, what with being a hideous troll. That's show business. The non-telegenic need not apply.
So despite having someone who knows what the hell she's doing, the shelter wasn't built in time the first day, and the castaways were greeted by a storm their first night. Ooooooh, that's why the shelter should be built quickly! Suffice it to say, the shelter was finished fairly quickly the next day. Good for them.
With 19 contestants vying for camera time, we're not going to meet everyone in the premiere, but we did get to meet three people with annoying nicknames. First was "Boo", but that's really all we got to see of him. We also met "Rocky" and "Dreamz", both of whom ended up arguing the second night, so we saw a lot more of them. "Dreamz" told us in an camera confessional that his plan was to be noticed by everyone. Okay, so he doesn't want to fly under the radar. That's alright. I'd try to stay a little more in the background the first few days, be a hard worker and a strong competitor, but there are several valid strategies. Except the way he decided to be noticed by everyone was by being loud, obnoxious, and not letting anyone get any sleep. "Dreamz" needs to go, and I'm not just talking about his horrible nickname.
Finally we got to the first challenge, and that's where Jeff Probst dropped the bombshell. First, he asked everyone if a leader had emerged yet, and they all agreed on Sylvia. He asked her to come join him. I suspected she would be the first of two captains, and they'd each get to alternate choosing tribemates. But oh no, it was not to be. Instead Sylvia was given the task of separating everyone into the two tribes! Oy vey!
This is one of the reasons it's good to keep a relatively low profile at the start. I'd hate to have been in that position. You never know what's going to piss someone off early on, and unless you know where you're going to end up, you're going to have some very tough decisions.
There were times I suspected she was trying to load one tribe with strength, maybe thinking she'd get to choose which one she gets to join. That's a huge mistake. Never assume on this show. The best option here is to try to match the teams up evenly so that it doesn't matter where you end up.
Sure enough, she had no choice in the matter. After the two tribes were chosen, Sylvia was sent to Exile Island (this time around a place filled with dangerous snakes and somewhat of a shelter up high on stilts). She would then have to join the losing tribe after Tribal Council. She may not have a lot of physical strength, but I think that is very overrated in this game (by both contestants and viewers, sorry, but there is a strong mental component in a lot of the challenges too and let's not forget the very important social aspect of the game), and this means that the first losing tribe won't immediately be shorthanded.
Oh, and the losing tribe would have to leave the camp they helped build and go to another island where they'll have nothing but a pot and a machete. Jaws dropped.
There was a level of strength required for the first challenge, but it all game down to knots and puzzle-solving ability. Huh? HUH? See! Brains! There's a reason zombies don't shuffle around trying to eat muscles!
And so Moto won the first immunity challenge, getting not only one of the most evil looking immunity idols to date, but a couch for their shelter, a jungle shower, hammocks, cutlery, and other assorted items. Sweet.
Ravu, on the other hand, had to go to their new home. In addition to their pot and machete, they got a bit of a cave. Most of the tribe looked on the bright side of this development, but Erica wasn't happy at all and she couldn't understand how the others could be. It's called "not bitching and trying the make the best of a situation", Erica! Yes, use it to build a fire under yourself and try to win from here on out, but don't dwell on it! Oh, I shouldn't have said "build a fire". It turns out they weren't given flint, so they have no fire. At least they have Yau-Man. If he can't keep them alive, nobody can. They should at least be able to drink enough coconut milk to keep from getting too dehydrated.
However, before such silliness like shelter, food, fire, or water, there's something more important to take care of. Scheming! We've only been able to see one alliance form so far. Erica, Jessica, and "Rocky" (because, when Erica and Jessica talked before the tribes were split, they said they needed a man (picture my eyes rolling here, even if it's not a horrible idea)).
They felt strong enough as an alliance that they felt safe. But who do they influence the others to vote out? It should be a woman, of course, according to "Rocky". Of course. Because all women are weak competitors and all men are strong competitors. Who would you rather have on your tribe, Stephanie from Survivors Palau and Guatemala , one of the toughest competitors ever (I don't care what people say about her after Guatemala, she ran that show), or Osten from Survivor: Pearl Islands, the first ever castaway to quit the show. I really hate the sexism and ageism that dominates the pre-merger game.
Anyway, this alliance decided that Rita should be the one to go, and they figured the matter was settled. Jessica and "Rocky" also agreed that if either of them were the ones on the block, they'd tell each other.
You'd think that he would have held up his end of the bargain, but it turns out a three person alliance carries little weight in a tribe of nine people, and pretty much everyone else decided that Jessica should be the one to go. When her name was read at Tribal Council, it was very obvious that "Rocky" never told her, and she was completely blindsided when she was the first person voted off.
Jessica, you were in an alliance of three. Unless you know who most people are voting for, never assume you're safe.
Interestingly enough, even though "Rocky" and Erica didn't tell Jessica she was leaving, they told each other they couldn't bring themselves to write down her name. After three days. In a game where you need to make it all the way to the end to win a million dollars. Write down her friggin' name! If she doesn't understand by the time the episode airs, she wasn't much of a friend after three days!
But they didn't all vote for Rita either. Jessica was the only one who wrote her name down. The other two voted for Yau-Man and Mookie. Mookie. That's gotta be a nickname too. Interesting strategy, if you're going to suck enough not to write down Jessica's name. I hate that they refused to vote for her when it was obvious she was the one leaving, but if you're going to do something stupid like that, I like the way they went about it. The only thing they could have done better was be more strategic about the names they picked to write down. Spread a little paranoia in the right people. But if they weren't smart enough to write Jessica's name, they weren't going to be smart enough to do that. Yau-Man's not a threat to anyone right now, and Mookie's name is Mookie, even if he is one of the strong, young men. I would have maybe picked Earl, and possibly Michelle, though I am fine with Mookie.
So that was it. Far from the best Survivor premiere yet, but with enough good elements to make it not horrible. I can't wait to see how this season shapes up. One thing I haven't mentioned is that instead of one hidden immunity idol, this time around there are two. Sylvia's clue points to one of them being hidden somewhere back at her camp. That should make for an interesting search.

Realivision Update - You may have noticed the title already, but I've shortened it to just the name of the show and the air date. With the new labels system Blogger allows, I see no reason to have it at the beginning and the end now and so "commentary", "recap" and "partial recap" will now be relegated to the labels at the bottom of the posts.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 28 - Partial Recap

2007-02-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

So we've made it to the live performance part of the season, and we get to vote for the people we like best. As I've stated time and again, I'm not a big fan of audience voting. However, one thing that could improve it is that instead of voting for our favourites, we vote out the one we like least. That wouldn't get rid of all the problems, but it would dramatically lower the chance of another Master P debacle.
While it's often reasonable that large numbers of people may disagree on who's best, it's often easier to agree on who's worst, especially in the early going. By voting for the worst, there is a better chance that the votes of people who vote for the worst as the best would be thwarted. Yeesh, did that sentence even make sense? As it is, a lot of second or third favourites are leaving, and that's a travesty.
Speaking of travesties, I thought "You are not Sandy/Danny" and "You are... the one that we want" would be the most annoying aspects of this series. Oh, did Billy Bush prove me wrong. He took it upon himself (or it was a bad production decision) to give everyone really stupid nicknames, depending on if they're auditioning to be Sandy or Danny. "Okay, you're our 'Perky Sandy', and you're our 'Butch Danny'!" (Alright, the former may have been one of them, but I'm positive he didn't use the latter. The whole thing was too horrible to bother writing them down. If you really want to know, someone actually bothered listed them in the bios at NBC.com.)
Instead of "judges", the show has a "panel". This "panel" (who aren't judges) will judge the competitors, giving us their insight into the performances. Joining the same three we've seen all season will be Olivia Newton John. I really want to say something snarky about her facelift, but I can't. It really sucks how much of a premium society places on youth, especially in women, and even more especially in show business. I'm sure there have been good facelifts that are unnoticeable, but then there are ones that look much worse than any wrinkles would. Alright, that's all I'm going to say on the subject.
The show started off with the whole cast performing "You're The One That I Want", and it was pretty gosh-darned good. Nobody really stood out as the best or the worst, and it was a fun, high energy number. They each got to do a little solo, and the only flaw was the lack of sound coming from Austin Miller's mouth, something I attribute to his microphone likely being off.
Our two hosts, as always, are Denise Van Outen and the aforementioned Billy Bush. It was very obvious right from the start that Denise outshines Billy as a host in many ways. In addition to not coming up with stupid nicknames, she has the uncanny ability to actually look at the camera. Not so much with Billy, who can't seem to go two seconds without staring very obviously at the cue cards or teleprompter, whatever the case may be.
The way this is going to work is that they are going to bring out the contestants two at a time. We first get to know a little bit about each potential Danny and Sandy thanks to some videos that I'm not going to bother recapping, then they take turns performing different songs.
First up were Derek and Austin, and let's cross our fingers that Austin's microphone is finally working.
Derek - First we had a Meg Ryan lookalike, now it's John Stamos. Now, he didn't look like Uncle Jesse all the time, but from certain angles, it was definitely there. Derek sang "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", not one of my favourite songs but he did very well. So well, in fact, that he shot right up there as the Danny to beat.
Austin - From the auditions he was my favourite, but not so much now. He sang "Mony Mony", and sang it well, but not good enough to be better than Derek.
After each pairing performed, it was time for feedback from the panel. Right across the board, everyone loved these two. I'll say right now as well that Olivia Newton John was just taking up space, because she liked everyone so I'm not going to mention her again when we get to the judg... panel.
Ally - She sang "I Love Rock'N'Roll", and she did so well enough I guess. The song should be a lot more raw than she did it, as she doesn't seem to have quite that rockin' edge. Which is good for Sandy until the transformation.
Kate - This was interesting. She seemed to go between wobbly and very, very strong in her voice. She sang "All By Myself" in a disturbingly sunny way. It's not a cheerful song, for crying out loud.
Kathleen loved both, but wanted to see Kate a little looser. David thinks that Kate is the best singer in the competition. Jim could really see Ally as Sandy, and Kate just blew him away.
And then came the twist. We don't have a final 12, we have a final 14! What? How? Who? Most importantly, why? Two people who were cut last week have been brought back, and they are... Ashley A. Yay! Two Ashleys! I don't know why I enjoy that, but I do. The other is... Matt Nolan. Oh. Put your hand to your chest. Anything over that is overwhelmed, anything under it is underwhelmed. To figure out how this news has affected me, move your hand down to around your ankles. Yeah, I'm about that excited. At least I got to see an "Ashley A." graphic. Woot!
Matt - Our resident jock sang "Pretty Woman", and, oh. That's why he was cut in the first place. He sang better than we've seen before, but nowhere near Broadway quality. Or karaoke even. I know I'm going to piss a lot of Matt Nolan fans here, and a lot of them have found this blog. I know, I've seen the search engine keywords that have brought people here. But come on, he wasn't that good. When he tried to hit that high note, I actually winced for the poor guy.
Ashley A. - Singing "Still The One", Double A had a pretty and emotional voice, but it was still pretty week. I don't know if it's nerves or not, but if every other woman sings with more confidence, she should be an easy first elimination. Sorry, Double A.
Oh, come on Newton John! It's okay to give constructive criticism! Kathleen thought both of them were a little tentative in their performances (no kidding). David was not happy with Ashley, and said that Matt needs to work on his vocals (no kidding). Jim... was hitting on Ashley? What the hell!?? No! This is just wrong! Let's move on, nothing to see here...
Jason - He sang "Faith" and was pretty good. That's all I've got to say about him.
Max - The male contestant with the greatest uphill battle due to him having the wrong looks. That's such a shame, because his vocals on "Summer of '69" were fantastic, as were his moves. If he doesn't get to be Danny, I really hope they find another role for him.
Jim loves them both, and particularly the growth he's seen in Max. Kathleen and David loved both as well, though David thought Jason was a little too "pop" in his performance. Yeah, I can see that.
Laura - "Why Do Fools Fall In Love". Good. Blah blah blah.
Kathleen - Singing "Suddenly I See", she was very, very good! Quite possibly my favourite Sandy yet, based on vocals! She also showed a great sense of humour after the performance when she was talking to the ju... panel.
David thought Laura was a little too sweet and nice, but he loved Kathleen. Kathleen agreed with him, and Jim, still dreaming about Ashley A., said something or another. I think he may have liked them.
If you'll allow me, I'd like to quote myself from last week.
"The live shows are next, with the first one being a two hour extravaganza of singing, dancing, and filler. Oh, you just wait and see. There will be filler!"
The good news? At least there wasn't that much of it. There was a little story on Jim Jacobs, panel member and co-creator of Grease (I just looked up the other, Warren Casey, on IMDb.com, and sadly he passed away in 1988). The other bit of filler was a question and answer session for the Sandys with Olivia Newton John. Now, what do you think the chances are that we'll see something similar for the Dannys with John Travolta?
Kevin - He sang "Walking In Memphis", and he was very good at it. Definitely one of the better choices here.
Chad - "Signed, Sealed, Delivered", a song we last heard from former WWE wrestler and Fozzy frontman, Chris Jericho, on a little show called "Celebrity Duets" (yeah, that was back when I took too much on so I never finished covering that show, but I still have most of the episodes on tape, as I do with Dancing With The Stars 3, a show that also suffered from recap overload). Unlike Y2J (who I think did a good job), Chad sang it well enough that he should be here next week.
Jim liked Kevin, he loved Chad. David thinks Kevin has one of the best voices, but he loves Chad too. Kathleen loved both.
Juliana - "First Cut Is The Deepest", a song I've long loved, and she did an excellent job with it.
Ashley S. - The other Ashley, the one who made it through the first time, and she showed why. She sang "It's In His Kiss", and she sang it wonderfully.
Jim loved both, and saw the two of them as Betty and Veronica, because one is blonde and one is brunette! Oh, he's such a wit. Kathleen wants to see Juliana having more fun, which makes me wonder if she's at all familiar with the song. Maybe she can do a peppy funeral dirge next! David would like to see more heart from Juliana, and more emotion from Ashley S.
And with 20 minutes left, that's it for the individual performances. After that, all the Dannys and Sandys got together to perform "We Go Together". With all of them dressed in appropriate costumes, it was a good opportunity to get to see them more in the roles they hope to assume.
A wop ba-ba lu-mop.
A wop bam boom.
To finish off the show, we went to the j... panel to see who they though the best Danny and Sandy of the night were, and none were in agreement.
David really liked Derek and Ashley S. For Kathleen, it was Austin and Ally. Jim, on the other hand, preferred Chad and Kate, but I'm sure still wanted to take Ashley A. out for dinner. Olivia Newton John. Grrrr. "I'll let America decide!" Oh, just shut up, Olivia Newton John! Shut up, or make a decision!
Oh, Olivia. I can't stay mad at you. You're the first and only Sandy I've ever known! But still, please, nobody will hate you if you state your favourites. Except maybe the other 12 contestants and their families. But what do you care? You're Olivia Freakin' Newton John!
After this, we got to find out who the mystery guest is for the next episode. Somehow he managed to have a camera right there in his house with him, but of course, he created Cats! Andrew Lloyd Webber! In a completely unscripted conversation, and feeling lucky because ALW already had a camera on him, Jim asked him if he'd join them for the next show. I was on pins and needles, but sure enough, he said yes! Unlike ONJ, I'm sure ALW will offer some criticism. On the other hand, ALW doesn't have the same image to uphold.
And that was it. The only good news about the two people who got a second chance is that it should be an easy vote out this week. It should be. Double A may still go, but I fully expect Matt to be the "upset" of the week and go on. Why? It's more than just all the people who have Googled him (and speaking of Googling, whoever it was who was searching for "max crumb naked", shame on you (yes, someone really did)). His was a story that was followed from his audition through to Grease Academy and on to this miracle second chance. Despite him being the least talented man in the competition, people are more familiar with him than some of the people we just met this week. He'll have enough of a following who see him as a cute underdog that he should easily make it to the next round. Again, I'm not a big fan of audience voting the way it currently stands.
For the record, he seems like a nice kid. He's just not Danny.

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired Jan. 28 - Commentary

2007-01-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking I should change the name of this blog to "Bravadovision." It's hip, it's happenin', and I should use two people in chicken costumes standing at the Information Superintersection to promote it!
We're back to being able to tell who loses by the editing, but that's okay, it's worth it to here someone keep pressing for chicken suits and Bravado. The Bravado Chicken Bowl, now at an El Pollo Loco near you! Not near me though. I live in stinky ol' Canada and we don't get fine dining like that here. What gastronomic delights are we missing out on without our very own El Pollo Loco franchises nearby? Poop. Oh well, at least we still have poutine.
The break Kinetic enjoyed last week was over, so we were back to both teams competing this week. Unfortunately for Arrow, they lost three people in a row so The Donald decided to even things up a smidge by asking someone in Kinetic to volunteer to switch sides.
Last week when only Aaron stepped forward to be a project manager, I was flabbergasted that nobody else was willing to take the opportunity. You can't win The Apprentice if you're not willing to be PM. This week was different though. This was asking someone to move to a losing team, away from the people they've been building a relationship. In the end, three people volunteered, and of those three Arrow picked Surya. This now leaves one man with Kinetic, and one woman with Arrow. Even when the producers aren't arbitrarily making it men vs. women, the candidates manage quite well to do it themselves.
I'm really liking the name "Bravadovision"! Don't shut me out! And chickens! We need two giant chickens!
Poor Marisa. It was so amazingly obvious she was going to be going to the boardroom. Was she going to be the one to cause Trump to have the meltdown we were promised in the promos? Well, not really. He got a little gruff, but damn, those promos were misleading. "And be there for the start of an Apprentice romance!" I was, and where were the two people snogging we were promised? Nobody kissed! All we learned is that Tim can play the piano and Nicole kind of likes him. This is a love story for the ages.
By the way, speaking of the piano, how amazingly awesome was that reward? A private show with Andrea Bocelli on the beach, and a sky full of fireworks over the water. That was a damned fine prize.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to the tasks, where Marisa really felt "Bravado Chicken Bowl" was the way to go, and they really needed two people in chicken costumes at the intersections. I agree! I'm also sure Marisa agrees that we should rename this blog "Bravadovision" and have two chicken mascots!
At least chicken costumes are better than balloons and banners! Or not. Kinetic had next to no marketing, and as a result they lost their first task of the season.
One of the best moments of the episode was when Trump told Arrow that Surya must be a good luck charm for them. You could see faces drop right down to the ground, like Surya was going to get all the credit for the win. Ah, it was great.
Since the premiere, I've been singing the praises of Heidi in the boardroom when she was sitting beside Trump. She was confident, articulate, and spoke up appropriately without trying to interject too much. Now we finally got someone to compare her against, and Aaron was sitting back, quiet, and to me looked a little nervous. Even The Donald asked him if he was going to say anything. Ouch. Don't be surprised if these things play into the final decision.
And speaking of final decisions, what about those chicken suits? I think they're a great idea, as great as "Bravadovision"! I know the decision on the name has been made, but I just want you to think about it, okay?
Marisa never stood a chance. If she had just let the whole "Bravado" and chicken suit thing go, maybe the rest of the team wouldn't have pushed so hard to get rid of her. Marketing was lacking though, and that's really what killed the team in this task. Heidi brought Aimee back with them, but unless she said something really stupid, there was no way Aimee was going. She didn't lose this task for them. It was down to Heidi and Marisa, and Heidi has two wins under her belt as PM.
Not that I was 100% positive about the result. Every time Marisa interrupted or brought up the chicken suits, Heidi started to laugh a little, causing her to make amused little faces. Catch Trump in the wrong mood in the boardroom, and that alone could have got Heidi fired. You really want to be careful about that sort of thing. Marisa was also fighting quite spiritedly, and not quite as desperately as Frank was in the premiere. All it takes is that one little slip, and the person who was about to be fired is saved for yet another week. I like you, Heidi. Please be careful with that stuff.
In the car after she was fired, Marisa was still talking about chicken suits, but she mentioned that El Pollo Loco's mascot is a chicken. If that's true, and they have an official mascot chicken costume, she should have talked it out and made the point that was instead of keep bringing up wanting to do chicken costumes because, you know, they're selling chicken.
I still like "Bravadovision". Sleep on it, we can discuss it more in the morning.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 21 - Partial Recap

2007-01-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

GREASE ACADEMY IS HERE!

I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl! Finally, after two long weeks and an unending lineup of auditions good and bad, the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived! Grease Academy!
Now, some of it was as good as I was hoping. It was in a real school and there were different classes, but just not as many as I would have liked. Maybe it's because there were only potential Dannys and Sandys there. Once this concept takes off and all the characters are represented, things will greatly improve. There will still be a "Sandy Dance Class", but there would also be "Sandy 101" where you go to learn of the subtleties of her character, and much of her back story. But for now all we have are dance, singing, and acting classes, so it's a mere shadow of what it could be. I guess because it's only for one episode, and an hour one at that, this is the best they could do.
I'm still somewhat disappointed.
What they did do very much right was finally give us little graphics with everyone's names, and we got to see a LOT of them. I have just over two pages of notes, and some of it is just names. I did learn many that I got wrong, even one I thought I had right (Max's last name is Crumm, not Crumb).
First up was the Dannys Dance Class, where we once more met fair-haired Austin Miller, a professional actor and at 30, one of the oldest. It appears he had once been on Days of Our Lives, so I did a little IMDb search to see who he played. You see, I watch Days and I didn't recognize him. It turns out he played a character named "Hawk" back in 2001-2002, but sorry to say that still doesn't ring a bell. I guess that's why he's not on the show anymore. That's okay, he's still my early favourite to play Danny.
We then met Vince Ortiz who is an ice cream store manager with no experience on stage. That's all my notes say. Hey, it does say "Partial Recap" in the title of this thing, so just lay off. There's going to be a lot more of this before we reach the end.
Cut to the Sandys Singing Class, and we got to see some familiar faces and some new ones.
First the two Ashleys, Anderson and Spencer. Ashley A. was good, Ashley S. (the Meg Ryan look-alike, for those of you keeping score) was very good.
Juliana Hansen said she was nervous about all the competition, but she was still pretty good.
Not as good as Kate Rockwell though, who I thought was great.
Then there is Kelly La Velle. At 17, she is the youngest contestant there. She's also the only one who is a minor, so by law she has to be tutored for three hours a day. Put that on top of everything else, and she has so much more work that everyone else. Or that much less time to rehearse, if you look at it that way.
We then got to see some couples paired up and acting out the scene at the drive-in where Danny makes a move on Sandy and she storms out, slamming the door on him. Now I always thought she hit him in the tallywacker, and some of the Dannys went that route, but others showed him getting his hand caught in the slamming door. Boys, it's not as not funny when his hand is hurt, I'm sorry to say. Take two for the team, for crying out loud.
At Sandys Dance Class, Ashley Spencer was doing so well that she was used to demonstrate the moves for Jacqueline Petzel who was struggling just a wee bit.
In Dannys Singing Class, Derek Keeling was doing okay, but OUCH when he tried to hit certain notes.
The judges were getting worried. Out of the 50 people who made it to this august institute of learning, would they be able to find the 12 they need for the live show so that they could live with whoever the public votes on? To add to the pressure, resident Brit David Ian, who had been doing something elsewhere (and something shady, I'm willing to bet, like having afternoon tea at his club for however long he's been absent) was just arriving. I haven't mentioned this before, but David Ian has put $10 million of his own money toward this Broadway revival. That kinda puts the pressure on for this to be a hit.
The performers then went one-on-one with David Ian (I keep feeling there needs to be a third name there, as he has two first names - how does "David Ian Brit-Tumblebottom sound?) so he can have a chance to gauge where they are.
We then learned that Ashley Anderson was struggling and her inexperience was showing through. Is this true? Could we only have one Ashley for the live shows? Maybe. I'm going to try to think positively though.
We then found out that a trio of potential Dannys - Chad, George, and Jason - became friends through this process. A real Three Dannsketeers, if you will, who will support each other, but still compete. I haven't decided that we're privy to this information because it's a heartwarming story, or if the producers just want to add some suspense for later when the cuts are made.
There was a scene from a co-ed dance class, then we got to see athlete Matt Nolan singing for David Ian Brit-Tumblebottom. Oh, he was awful. Mr. Brit-Tumblebottom gave him some advice on how to punch it up, make it more rock'n'roll. Matt took that advise and gave it a much better showing, but still, I don't see him graduating Grease Academy.
Then the kicker - everyone has two hours to learn a new song, and then there will be a mass expulsion as only 24 contestants will move on to the next stage, and the rest will be told to hit the bricks and never darken the doors of Grease Academy again.
The way it worked was that everyone was standing and singing in the same room, and David Ian B-T would go around and tap people on the shoulder. If they got the tap, they were gone. It was quite horrifying to watch, actually.
The first to go was 42-year-old Dominic Fortuna. Gramps was quite surprised at this and said that there are many people who will be shocked to find out that Dominic Fortuna was cut. Maybe at the Shady Rest Retirement Home, but I doubt your average citizen on the street is going to give it a second thought.
We saw Jacqueline Petzel leave, and then Matthew Carpenter. If you remember last week, Matthew was one of the major stories. He and his girlfriend Sarah were both auditioning, their relationship was rocky, and she threw a huge fit when he made it to Grease Academy and she didn't. So after losing that precious jewel, the least that could happen is he could make the live show, but no. He doesn't even make the final 24. Ow.
The Three Dannsketeers made it though, so their relationship is still going strong, at least for now.
After the carnage, the survivors then had two days to prepare for a performance on state in front of an audience of theatre critics and D-list celebrities. As they prepare, the judges still express concern over Max Crumm's looks, even though they think he has possibly the best voice there. This concern over his looks leads to David Ian uttering the best line of the season, "You look like an apology for yourself."
There was something with two women singing, how they've become friends, but I'm not caring at my mind was wandering anyway. We've already got this story with the three guys, so make two more friends and make it the Four Sandketeers and maybe we can talk.
Of the dazzling stars who came to see the performance we got to see... Marilu Henner! Whoo hoo! JEFF CONAWAY! He was Kenickie in the Grease movie! Okay, that was actually kinda cool, even with his alleged problems. I'm not going to say anything here, so go Google his name or something if you want to find out. There is no tabloid babbling here!
So the final 24 performed as one and in groups of four, with everyone getting a chance to solo.
Ashley Anderson did well.
Max Crumm not only did great, but the judges were impressed by how far he was able to get into character.
They thought Kelli La Velle, someone else they were concerned about, was doing well too.
Matt Nolan was doing iffy.
This is where we found out Austin Miller used to be on Days.
Cara Hille (whose name I spelled Kara Hilly previously) was in the last group, and with that note was the question, how did I spell it before? I really need to lay off the cold medicine when I'm watching this.
I thought last week was the last time we'd ever have to hear, "You're the one that we want" or "You're not Sandy/Danny". I was wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong. It isn't cute, producers! It's just annoying as hell, and I'm begging you to just cut people from the competition with dignity!
Now I didn't write down the names of everyone who made it or was cut, so I'll sneak the full names of the winners off the NBC website when we're finished the following list...
Kelli - didn't make it (like NBC can afford to pick up the cost of a tutor for this long).
Allie - made it.
George - didn't make it, thus the end of the Three Dannsketeers.
Jason - made it.
Lexie, the only woman of colour left, didn't make it. This means that Grease: You're The One That I Want, is now officially the whitest show on television after According to Jim.
Sara - didn't make it.
Nick - didn't make it.
Reed - didn't make it.
Who are some of these people? Why am I listing them if we never met them? I was wondering this as I was writing, so I stopped for a few names.
Juliana - made it.
Ashley A. - didn't make it. Bummer.
Then at the end was the showdown. Matthew Nolan vs. Max Crumm. Looks vs. Talent. While the producers would rather have both, in the end the show still has to entertain, and so Talent won out and Max Crumm moves on.
Thanks to NBC.com, here are our final twelve...

Potential Sandys
Allie Schultz
Ashley Spencer
Juliana Hansen
Kate Rockwell
Kathleen Monteleone
Laura Osnes

Potential Dannys
Austin Miller
Chad Doreck
Derek Keeling
Jason Celaya
Kevin Greene
Max Crumb

Yeah, I have no idea who some of them are either. You'd think not having been introduced to the audience yet may give some of these contestants a disadvantage. I know, in the end all that should matter is talent, but we all know by now that these shows often reward popularity over talent. They do that woefully often, in fact.
I've been saying through the auditions that the look does matter too, and if you look at the pictures on the website, you'll see that. Three of the Sandys are blonde, three are brunette, but they all look like what we've come to expect Sandy to look like.
The same goes for the Dannys, where one is blonde and the rest are brunette. The only one who doesn't quite have the look is Max, and he made it through on sheer force of talent alone. However, if there was a stronger field of Dannys, I strongly suspect he'd have been a casualty of the cuts.
But now it's up to us to decide who goes on from here. The live shows are next, with the first one being a two hour extravaganza of singing, dancing, and filler. Oh, you just wait and see. There will be filler!

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired Jan. 21 - Commentary

2007-01-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

Don't worry. We will talk about that ending. For my money, it was one of the best endings of any Apprentice ever. It didn't come close to the greatest of all where four people were fired, but it certain outshines the majority.
As a result of winning last week's challenge, Heidi and the rest of Kinetic Corporation got to rest and relax at a luxury hotel, the name of which I'm not going to give because I've been burned before. Free product placements galore in my lengthy Treasure Hunters recaps, but did I get any swag? No! That, and I can't remember the name of it. It certainly did look luxurious though. Throughout the episode they kept cutting to the team relaxing with refreshing drinks, getting massages, and lounging by the pool.
Bastards. Rubbing it in my poverty-stricken face. Just for that, I'm not going to talk about the luxury day for the rest of this commentary.
Instead, let's get right to those daring go-getters at Arrow Corp! Because they were the only team competing, they had to split into two sub-teams. Trump asked who would like to be the captains, and Aaron jumped in without giving a second thought! And the other captain?
Being project manager can be a scary thing. A losing PM is the most likely to be fired unless an underling screws up significantly, and nobody wants to be fired. However, you can't win at the end unless you've actually stepped up to be PM a few times. That's why I was shocked that, after Aaron, nobody wanted to volunteer. So the Donald had to offer it to someone, and he asked Michelle. In the hot seat, she had no choice but to say yes, not that she had any choice anyway! After last week, she should have been looking to prove herself, so she should have been itching to be PM this week.
Unfortunately for her, it looked like the last boardroom really shook her. Most people don't want to hear that others don't like them, and think they're a drain on the team. But instead of using this to give herself strength, I don't think I've seen a PM this wishy washy in a long time. "So what do you think of this idea? I won't go ahead with this unless everyones behind it one hundred percent! I feel I need to go to the bathroom, but I want your input on that." It was horrifying cross between wanting to have her teammates like her and wanting to cover her ass in case they lost. Sad, so very sad. Michelle, you looked just like My Name is Earl's Jaime Pressly, but now you look like her empty, lifeless doppelganger. If only there was a way you could get our respect back, even just a little.
One of the things you can count on with The Apprentice is that the team that gets the most airtime is inevitably the one that loses. So trust those scamps to throw us for a loop by giving both teams pretty much equal time! Both had their bumps, and even though it looked like Michelle's team was doing worse, you never can tell when it's all based on customer satisfaction. Maybe they lucked into a tour group who was enjoying the experience and gave them high points!
An argument I often make on The Apprentice, Survivor, and Big Brother (it's not as important on The Amazing Race, but it still helps) is WATCH THE DAMNED SHOW! When several seasons have come and gone, there is no excuse for not having done some homework and seeing what has worked in the past and what has failed miserably. What's worked before? Getting out there and asking the customers themselves what they want (point in favour: Aaron's team). What has failed miserably? Wandering aimlessly with no plan at all (point against: Michelle's team). You can't fault Michelle for a malfunctioning microphone, but you can SQUEEEEEEE blame her for SQUEEEEEE having no SQUEEEEE plan and having the whole SQUEEEEE tour look like she was SQUEEEEEE winging it.
Aaron's team definitely earned their win this week. Michelle earned a lot of my respect back in the boardroom.
In the history of The Apprentice, only one other person has ever quit. But Michelle was the first who was a project manager and the first to do it in the boardroom.
Trump did not like this one bit, and he let her know it again and again. He did his best to belittle her choice and call her a quitter, but I thought she made a great choice.
Does Donald Trump have more money under the cushions in his sofa than I will ever have my whole life? Yes. But that doesn't mean he can't be full of crap. Very often in life, resigning is the best option, and more often than not it's a better option than being fired. Seriously, who are you going to hire, someone who resigned from their last job or someone who was given the sack?
If Michelle went back into the boardroom with the rest of her team, they were going to spend the whole time tearing her apart. There was also no chance that she wasn't going to be the one fired. Why spend needless time being attacked by people who already didn't like you anyway? And even if she pulled out a miracle and made it through, they were going to keep bringing her back again and again until the axe is finally lowered.
I don't know how much was editing, but she also looked like she was pretty much ostracized in camp. In cold, wet, miserable camp. Even if she wasn't ostracized completely, it was very clear that the others didn't like her. So why put herself through that?
She made the right choice, and I applaud her for it. And if it meant another teammate would be fired, all the more power to her! Watching their reactions to this possibility was priceless. The fear and hypocrisy made for a frothy brew indeed. How dare she don't allow them to attack her and ensure her ouster, and now in her place one of them might go instead? The injustice! Can't she think of them instead of doing what's best for her?
Hee hee! But sadly it wasn't to be. Trump decided that nobody was going to be fired that night.
Whatever else happens in your life, Michelle, despite going out early, you went out memorably and with your head held high.
Good for you. Seriously.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 14 - Partial Recap

2007-01-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

New York. The Big Apple. The City That Never Sleeps. So nice, they named it twice. A bustling metropolis that was home to the final auditions. After this, it's on to Grease Academy. I mentioned last week that I'd love to get a Bachelor of Rizzo degree from this august institution. After some careful consideration on my academic future, it occurred to me that I'd then like to go back after that and get my MR (Master of Rizzo) or even branch out and get an MF (Master of Frenchie). If I do the former, I could just stay focused and get a PhR (Rizzo of Philosophy), but if I do the latter I could then work towards a thesis on the whole gang and get a PhPL (Pink Ladies of Philosophy).
All I know is that if you are one of the lucky few to get into Grease Academy, your future is wide open to all sorts of possibilities.
The first people we meet are Matthew Carpenter and Sarah Salvatore (as with last week, we didn't get to see any names so all spelling is my best guess). They are dating, but things are pretty rocky right now and oh boy, the show won't let us forget this. Sarah came to New York first, so they spent some time apart and they're hoping this experience will help bring them closer together. It'll be a while before we find out though, as their auditions are not up first.
Who is up first is a pretty, perky Hungarian named Tunda Something. My attempts at spelling surnames don't go as far as Eastern Europe. I'm sure I'd be tempted to throw in vowels where there aren't any, so I won't even try.
Now nothing says Sandy has to be played by an American. Olivia Newton John brought her Down Under charm to the role in the movie and people accepted the character as Australian. The problem with Tundra was that we couldn't tell if she had talent or not as she kept messing up the words. Lots of people learn to sing in other languages phonetically, but Tundra would have had to sing and talk in English, and to show she could have done that, she should have learned the song by heart before auditioning. Needless to say, she didn't make it.
Next up was Ashley Anderson. She had a good look, but many of the potential Sandys do, so can she bring the goods? She tried, but when she tried for too high a note, she lost it. Okay, try it a second time. Same thing. I don't know how much of range she's got, but it doesn't extend into soprano. Luckily for her, she talked them into giving her one more shot. She started lower this time, so when it came around to the note that was giving her trouble earlier, she hit it. Good for her, she moved on.
We then got a montage of a bunch of different Sandys that were all good. That's one of the flaws of this format. If any one of them make it past Grease Academy and end up going against someone who we've already met, they'll have a tougher time connecting with the audience.
We then met Robert Minatolli who had what so many of the men we've seen lacked, the right look. We'll forget his horrendous voice and the montage of bad Dannys and move on to more of Matthew and Sarah.
We're reminded of how rocky their relationship is, but they tell us if one of them doesn't make it, that one will support the other. They've both got the right look for the parts, so if they do get all the way through and end up winning the show together, what a story that will be!
Matthew is up first, and while his voice isn't the best, it's still good enough in a pool of horrible Danny wannabes that he gets to go to the dance round.
Sarah is next, and she has a better voice so she easily makes it to the dance round.
Yay, young love! This is going to be a romantic story for the ages that people will sing of for centuries to come! I can't wait for them to nail the dance audition and come closer together at Grease Academy!
Before that though, there are more people to meet, like Joanne Rizzo (awesome last name!), 42. Yes, 42, the exact same age as Dominic Fortuna who got through last week in Chicago. Her look and voice may not be classic Sandy, but they're good enough that if Gramps Fortuna makes it past Grease Academy and ends up winning the role at the end, they'll potentially have a Sandy that won't make people wince when they see them together! But instead of turning her down nicely, the judges had to be complete asses and insult her while rejecting her. No wonder so many women in show business have plastic surgery. The middle-aged man got approved, but all the middle-aged women got kicked around. I strongly suspect Dominic wouldn't have made it through at all if there were more Dannys to choose from, especially in Chicago where only seven people total made it to Grease Academy, but a little tact wouldn't have hurt. We don't need a Simon Cowell on every reality talent show.
Next was Anne Marie Somethingoranother who had quite a strong voice, but the judges were iffy on her look. She was blonde and pretty, but didn't quite look sweet enough for Sandy. However, she was going to get a chance in the dance round to show them something different.
Matt Nolan, an athlete in school and a secret fan of Broadway. He had a decent look and an okay voice, but he was having trouble hitting some of the higher notes. If he was a woman auditioning for Sandy, he wouldn't have made it to the dancing, but more leeway is given to the men because the judges have so few choices. But can he dance? We'll find out.
Then finally we meet the man who just might end up being Danny, Austin Miller. He's a stage professional, and this is an open audition. I can see people arguing against him online after he gets past Grease Academy (and he was so good with the singing I've no doubt he will), crying that Austin has been on stage and we should make an amateur's dream come true! No. We should vote for whoever is best for the role. Austin also has a great look, but the one change he should make is to his hair. He's blonde. I have no problem with a blonde Danny, but as I've argued with Sandy, the audience has a set perception of what he should look like. Dye your hair black, Austin. It will increase your chances.
The last person we meet is a 16-year-old girl who I won't name because she's been crushed enough by some of the reactions she's received. She did have the wrong look, was too young, and was a little overweight, so she didn't make it anyway. I'll leave it at that.
It seemed like more time was spent showing us the dancing this week, and I appreciated that. We still didn't get to see an awful lot though, and the camera cut around quite a lot. Because of this, I don't feel comfortable judging based on what I saw, so I'll leave that to the judges.
Ashley... was the one they wanted to go to Grease Academy. If there is any reason to be extremely thankful that the auditions only lasted two weeks, it's that we'll never have to hear that ridiculously awkward phrase again.
Anne Marie didn't make it through, but Matt Nolan and Austin both did.
And our love story that's so touching it makes grown men weep? Sarah didn't make it through. She was crushed, but at least she'll have Matthew to commiserate with. He's not as good as her, so he'll easily be rejected. Except, as I've mentioned ad nauseum, there aren't a lot of potential Dannys, so Matthew passes through to Grease Academy. Oh no! Our love story hit an unexpected bump! Luckily she's going to support him through all this and they will live happily ever after. Right?
Wrong. She couldn't even bring herself to look at or talk to him. She grabbed her stuff and stormed right out of there. Wow. I don't watch American Idol, so the only auditions I ever see are on So You Think You Can Dance, and I've never seen anything as pathetic as this. I've crazy people get even crazier, but not on somebody they supposedly love. Sure enough, we're informed, that was the end of the relationship.
The good news for Sarah is that the ratings for this show aren't that hot, so there are still lots of men out there who don't know how selfish, bitter and self-centered she can be.
The good news for us is that this was a twist we didn't see coming! Okay, maybe we suspected that one or both of them weren't going to make it through, but this? Wow. You got us good, producers!

Next week: GREASE ACADEMY!

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired Jan. 14 - Commentary

2007-01-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

So I'm thinking these dainty little flowers should get over being forced to live in tents and be grateful for the fact that they're in Los Angeles. If there's an earthquake, having collapse on you won't be nearly as painful as having an entire mansion fall down on your head.
But before I go on any further, there is a question that's nagging me. If I were to base everything I know on reality television, I would be under the impression that all gay African-American men shave their heads. First there was the original, the most memorable, and friend to Realivision - Marcellas Reynolds from Big Brother 3. Following him on Big Brother 6 was Marcellas wannabe, Beau Beasley. Now we have Carey on The Apprentice. All I'm asking for is a little hair.
Okay, is that everything off my chest? Good.
This was a fine episode. It certainly gave us some fine lines and some very memorable images. Like Carey squeezing into swimwear he obviously sized for a child. Damn, that suite was small and tight! What was even better about it is that it gave Trump a chance to brag about his own body (I swoon just thinking about it, including the potential for combed-over back hair).
The thing is, if Carey's team reigned him in and they designed better suits for men, they would have won that challenge. Arrow Corporation certain had the better women's line, and they had a lot more in the way of patterned material and colour. If you look at the amount Kinetic won by (I believe it was only by about $1000, give or take), a better mens line would have had Arrow winning handily. Considering that their mens line only got just over $300 in orders, their women's suits must have slaughtered Kinetic's by a landslide.
Now note that I'm using the names "Arrow" and "Kinetic". We've been denied the classic "name your corporation" scenes and seeing them explain the names to The Donald! I know they're trying to shake things up a little this season, but some things need to stay the same.
Even worse than this, not only are they shaking things up from previous seasons, they're doing it from previous episodes this season! The snooty European butler from the premiere is gone, only to be replaced by some blonde executive assistant and possible Trump's fourth wife once Melania starts showing a line or two in her face.
To help you out with the corporations, Arrow is the team that keeps losing, Kinetic keeps winning. Thanks to this latest win, Kinetic doesn't have to compete in the next challenge. That means we won't see them possibly lose until the week after next. That's actually a bit of a shame, because the losing team always gets the most screen time in an episode, and that gives you more of a look into how the team works and who is really deserving to stay or go. I'm liking Heidi so far, but we really haven't seen much of her and her team so that like could well go away by the next episode. At least she's still doing well in the boardroom. Some people don't like the way she's handling herself there, but oh well. She's asking the right questions, making the right statements, not overplaying or underplaying her role, and sucking up just enough to the boss that it makes him happy without making her look like a toady in his eyes.
It looks like there is some discontent stirring in Kinetic Corporation though. We've already heard from one member who isn't happy that Heidi's been project manager two tasks in a row. Aaaaah, this is what I've been waiting for with this particular twist! What do you do? If you keep winning, she stays as project manager and the further that goes on, the harder she will be to beat at the end. But if you deliberately lose, that means you have to throw a task, and if you do that, fingers will be pointing at you in the boardroom and your butt may just be on its way out the door. What do you do? I really hope someone is stupid enough to try and throw the task, or is smart enough to throw it without looking like they did. Either way would be fun to watch.
Finally, should Carey have been fired? No. Nicole should be gone. She was the project manager, and even if Carey was forcing his ideas on everyone, as the leader she should have been able to say no to the itsy bitsy teeny weeny pink paisley banana hammock. This wasn't one of those tasks that required different team members to be doing different things. All they had to do was design swimwear, so she can't reasonably make the argument that this function was assigned to Carey and he screwed it up. She let him take over the design and she should have signed off on the final product. Michelle (you know, the one who looks like My Name Is Earl's Jaime Pressly) shouldn't have really been there either, but what are you going to do? The PM is allowed to take two people in with them, and Michelle rubbed enough people the wrong way that she was the best chance for Carey and Nicole to make it safely through the boardroom.
I don't know if Heidi honestly thought that Michelle shouldn't have been there, or if she saw that the argument to fire her was just weak enough to give her room to talk Trump into keeping Michelle around and did so in hopes that Michelle returning will keep Arrow's morale down and losing streak continuing. Either way, good job keeping the focus on Nicole and Carey, Heidi.
After the losers were sent back to their tents, I got to see my favourite visual so far, and if you weren't looking, it was brief enough that it would have been very easy to miss. Nicole and Michelle were wheeling their luggage back to the tents when we saw Nicole just running with hers. I hope we see more of that next week, and I'd love to see the reason why, even if it's just something so boring as "I was cold."

A note concerning something new to Realivision: This is my first post using the new version of Blogger, and as you can see below this there are labels. It's pointless clicking on them now because this is the first post that has labels. I've no idea how I'm going to incorporate them yet, so for now I'm going to keep them pretty simple. As the number of posts that have them grows, I may expand the labels used, and if I find the time, I may even go back and edit older posts so they'll have labels too.

Grease: You're The One That I Want - Aired Jan. 7 - Partial Recap

2007-01-12T23:41:00.000-07:00

Yeesh, and I thought "So You Think You Can Dance" was a pain in the ass title to keep typing out. But that's okay, because we've got ourselves a lovely new cheese fest! In case you haven't heard about it or watched the premiere, "Grease: You're The One That I Want" is yet another reality talent show, and the goal of this little gem is to cast Danny and Sandy in a new Broadway version of Grease.
The concept isn't nothing we haven't seen before, except for one truly awesome exception. Auditions were held at different cities in the United States, two of which we got to see in this episode. Out of all the hundreds or thousands who auditions, fifty got chosen to go to, and this is the awesome part, Grease Academy! Damn, I want to go there! Could you imagine having that diploma on your wall? We even got shots of the school with the words "Grease Academy" right there on the building! This is the only thing that could possibly have topped sending them to Rydell High. Anyway, of those lucky bastards who get to go to Grease Academy, only twelve will graduate and get to perform for us, the viewing audience, who will get to vote until we finally have our new Danny and Sandy. I've got chills, and they are definitely multiplying!
Say what you want about how this show somewhat resembles one or two other reality talent shows, but they don't have Grease Academy now, do they? I didn't think so, smart guy.
Grease: YTOTIW has one and a half hosts. The one being Billy Bush, a relative of some other guy named Bush, and the half being Denise Van Outen (no relation to Milhouse Van Houten), a bubbly blonde Brit who barely showed up on our screens. It also has the industry standard three hosts - Kathleen Marshall, who will be the director and choreographer for the Broadway show, Jim Jacobs, who co-wrote the original Grease, and David Ian, the prerequisite British guy. I don't think the FCC allows these show to air anymore if one of the judges isn't from Blighty.
As usual, the series is starting out with just the auditions. Also as usual, the people auditioning range from great to truly awful. I know that some of the truly awful performers are doing it just to be on television, but some of them are seriously deluded and audition with complete sincerity. Either way, for those that were that bad, I didn't bother writing down their names. I don't want to contribute to their crazed grasp for temporary fame, or I don't want to add to the misery of reality crashing completely around them. And yes, as I write all of this, I'm thinking of the second woman we saw on the episode who sings worse than I do, and my voice drives babies to commit murder.
Of those whose names I did take note of, I apologize in advance if I completely butchered the spelling of your name, as the producers didn't get around to providing us the much appreciated nice little graphics. This apology, of course, only goes to those of you who actually spell your names normally. If anyone on this show is named James and spells it any way other than J-A-M-E-S, then not only are you out of luck, I may have to come over there and slap some sense into you. I'm not going through another season on another show dealing with that crap. That said, let's head to Los Angeles.
The auditions do start in the City of Angels, but how good will the talent pool be? This is a town famous for its movies, both silver screen and porn, not its flourishing live theatre. Are there enough singer/dancer combinations to make this trip worth while? We'll find out first who is a good enough singer, and then those who pass that are invited back to dance later on in the day.
First up is Meg Ryan. No, sorry, Ashley Spencer. She only looks like Meg Ryan, and young Meg Ryan at that, not the current Meg Ryan who looks like her face suffered through a tragic loom accident. Why, Meg? I know there is a hell of a lot of pressure on actresses in Hollywood to keep looking young, but now... Oh, but now. Between you and Mary Tyler Moore (two women I used to idolize), I don't know who is the greater public service announcement against face lifts.
I digress though. Meg, I mean Ashley was pretty good.
She was followed by the worst audition we got to see, so let's skip on to the next name I jotted down.
Kaitlyn Doubleday. Hmmm. Of the Doubleday Book Club family, by any chance? Could we get five Sandys for 99 cents if we buy four more at regular Book Club prices within the next two years? Now, I'm writing this several days after I watched the show, but I planned on writing earlier so I didn't write down too much in the way of notes. That means I don't remember too much about Kaitlyn except she had a decent voice and looked like she could be Sandy.
Next up was Fawn something or another (please show us names, NBC). An attractive woman with an okay voice for karaoke. She didn't make it after attempting two songs, and gave us our first tears of the night. Billy Bush was appalled that the judges didn't recognize this woman's obvious talent! I found it impossible to believe that someone with the last name Bush wouldn't listen to the experts. That's unheard of!
After Bambi was my favouritestly named performer of the night, Max Crumb. He had a great voice, and he had the perfect look for the role of... Eugene. Normally I care more about the talent than the looks, but this time around people are auditioning for very specific roles and the look helps sell the believability of the character. If I'm going to stage The Beverly Hillbillies Musical, I'm not going to cast Dakota Fanning as Granny, no matter how good she is. This was the first Danny hopeful we really had though, so he moved on.
Billy Bush then took the stage to beg for another chance for Fawn. Whether he truly believed in her talent or was just smitten with her beauty, I don't know. All I do know is that the judges...
Cut to commercial. Bah.
Like Fawn wasn't going to get the second chance. She took the stage, thanked everyone, then started singing. She was doing pretty darned well, then came a high note and she blew it bad. Oh, it was awful. Judging from the look on Billy Bush's face backstage, I started to wonder if there was a third reason he wanted her to get another chance. Sheer evil malice. No. It's not like his name is Billy Cheney.
Fawn thanked him for getting her a second chance to make a fool of herself (ouch!) and that was the last we saw of her. Until the end of the season when they decide to show highlights and lowlights.
After this debacle, we got to meet Patricia Canelli, the first talented hefty woman of the evening (don't judge my use of the word "hefty", as I'm writing this while lying in bed with a bucket of chicken). She certainly had a good voice, and it would be nice to see a larger woman get the role, but it's not going to happen. America isn't ready for Sandy XL, and shame on you for that. I thought she would make a fantastic Frenchy, but this show isn't casting for other roles. Based on the sheer force of her personality and voice however, she made it through to the dancing.
Vincent Demosky was next, and though he was around the right age for Danny, he looked way too young. As with Patricia, I thought he would have been a good choice for another role, in this case Doody, but I doubt he'd have settled for anything other than Danny. Keep pluggin' at it kid, and we'll see you in a few years.
During the commercials, I saw a commercial for a movie called Stomp The Yard. If you saw it, you probably had the same question that came to me. Will it be as good as Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Alright, now we have Kara Hilly. Good voice, good look, nothing to snark on. Let's keep moving.
Ah, Sunshine Smith. We already have one pudgy hopeful making it on to the dance part of the audition, will we have two? Unlike Patricia, I see Sunshine more in the part of Jan. She has a very nice voice, so that's helpful and it does get her a pass into the dance.
Before we go any further, let me say this about the role of Sandy. If you're a brunette, dye your hair blonde if you want any chance of winning this competition. If you're overweight, don't even try. The audience has one vision of Sandy in their minds, and that's Olivia Newton John. I'm telling you right now that the winner of that role will be a skinny blonde, no matter how much more talented another contender may be. It's not right, and it would be great to see someone unexpected get the part, but that's what happens when the audience gets to decide, you just wait and see. Bookmark this recap and if at the end of the season I'm wrong, I will be more than happy to hear about it. The same thing applies to Danny. Let's just see how much the winner of that role looks like John Travolta.
Like Phil Lander. Wow, this guy has the perfect look for Danny! Stop the auditions now, we've found our... our... what the hell is that? Does he think that's singing? Damn. Never mind.
Deja Jones. An African-American Sandy would be incredible, but for reasons I've detailed above it's not going to happen from this show, though I'd love to be proven wrong. In American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance, there are no preconceived notions of what the winner will look like. But luckily the judges don't have a set vision in their heads (we think), so she makes it through.
Rebecca Cutts showed up right from a pharmaceutical convention, and the way she was dressed was proof of that. Despite being perfectly dressed for the office, she sang with a lot of emotion and moved on to the dance part.
The last contestant we met from L.A. was Chad Doric, who was the best of the Danny hopefuls so far. He not only had a good look for the role, he could sing. Bonus! We have seen a lot of good Sandys, but the show hasn't exactly been swimming in Danny material yet.
I'm not sure if I phrased that correctly.
Anyhoo, we came to the dancing part of the audition, and I wasn't too pleased with the way this was executed. Everyone had an hour to learn a routine, then they danced in groups, and there wasn't enough focus on anyone to really get a feel for their dancing. Maybe I'm spoiled by So You Think You Can Dance, but I would have liked to have seen more of the individuals we just spent the last however long meeting.
After the dances, it was time for the judges to decide who will be cut and who will go on to Grease Academy. Ha! I still love that!
"Ah, Ms. Lavalamp. I see here that you have a BR from Grease Academy."
"Yes, a Bachelor of Rizzo. Do I get the job?"
It turns out that one of the most annoying aspects of the show so far are the phrases used for cutting someone or letting them know they've made it through.
"You are... not Sandy."
"You are... not Danny."
Even that I could live with if it weren't for the following abomination.
"You are... the one that we want to go to Grease Academy."
Picture my eyes rolling (and not so glassy).
Who made it from those we've met? Ashley "Meg Ryan" Spencer, Kaitlyn Doubleday, Max Crumb (who slicked his hair back and dressed more the part, but still isn't quite right for Danny), Kara Hilly, Deja Jones, and Chad Doric. There were others, but we have no idea who they are. The two heavier women didn't make it, and it was probably a kindness letting them go now rather than have to hear the insults that would inevitably fly if they made it further into the process.
The series premiere was scheduled for one and a half hours. By the time we got to Chicago there were only twenty minutes left in the show. That means one of two things. Either the Chicago auditions will continue next week, or there was a severe lack of talent showing up in the Windy City.
Yeah, it was the latter.
It was so bad, there was even time for a tour of Chicago where we got to see the site of the original theatre. We were informed that "unfortunately it's gone now", and normally I would agree with the "unfortunately" part, but there's now a children's hospital there. How unfortunate.
We met so few people in this short time that I'm just going to tell you if they made it to Grease Academy as I name them. There were some interesting bad auditions, but nothing really worth dwelling on.
Jacqueline Petzel. She was good, and she's on her way to Grease Academy.
Dominic Fortuna. Perhaps one of the more interesting finds in Chicago. He has the look for Danny if they plan on making Grease 3: The Middle-Aged Years. At 42, Grandpa Fortuna was the oldest contestant to make it through to Grease Academy with all the young whippersnappers. What bothered me most about this was how insulting the judges were towards older women who auditioned. The only possible way to excuse this double standard was the dearth of potential Dannys.
Kelly Lavelle. Very young, but a passable Sandy. Luckily Sandy can get away with looking like an actual high schooler than Danny can. At 17, if both she and Grandpa Fortuna make it through Grease Academy then are voted through to end by the viewers, we could well be on our way to the most disturbing Broadway show since Ernest Borgnine: Naked and Dancing.
Alex MacIntyre. He had the pipes, but not the look (though at this point that pretty much comes with the territory). He also didn't have the moves, as he didn't make it to Grease Academy.
Of all the people who auditioned in Chicago, only seven made it through to the hallowed halls of Grease Academy (honest, I just don't get tired of writing that). If we saw all of them, that would have doubled the people we met in Chicago. That they didn't warrant some face time on the show doesn't give me much hope that the Faceless Four will make it far in this competition.
So that was that. It was okay, but I've seen better. I don't watch American Idol, but the So You Think You Can Dance auditions are much more exciting to watch. If you didn't watch the premiere, I can still recommend the show. The auditions are in New York next, so there should be much more to see, and if you want to skip that, at least tune in to see Grease Academy the following week!

The Apprentice L.A. - Aired Jan. 7 - Commentary

2007-01-08T07:53:00.000-07:00

We're back, baby! I hope you all had a great holiday season, spending quality time with friends and family... Oh, screw it. Competitive reality shows with The Apprentice and Grease: You're The One That I Want have returned! We'll get to Grease in a post later today or tomorrow, even though it aired first. I want to start the New Year off with the bigger show. The 'UGE show! The 30 billion dollar industry!
Now there's no question about it, Donald Trump is an asshole. He's demonstrated this in the past, and the whole feud with Rosie O'Donnell is beyond ridiculous, though there's no doubt he's milking the whole thing for publicity. Despite all of this though, he's a highly entertaining host for a show such as The Apprentice. His bombastic, over-the-top style is exactly what this ode to greed requires. And then there is the gorgeous, gorgeous hair... It's 'UGE!
This season finds us in beautiful Los Angeles, California. It's not quite as beautiful as New York, nor as full of life and character (as a city, as they both certainly have their fair share of characters). And it's too damned sunny. Seriously, I heart NY as a location much more than LA. Besides, both the Crips and the Bloods are out to get me.
That said, it certainly doesn't hurt to mix things up and have a change of location, as long as your not Laverne and Shirley. The candidates got to work a car wash last night, so already the show is making use of it's new backdrop. The living and work arrangements are interesting too, with Trump and the boardroom being right next to the mansion and campground. Oh, the campground. I'm loving that! These contestants may be successful in business, but judging from life around tents, they'd probably die if they ever had to do Survivor. They got tents, latrines, showers, a barbeque... Everything they could possibly need! Look at it as an adventure, oh frail little city folk.
The only real problem with the new setup is the loss of one of the classic Apprentice scenes. There's no hallway for the surviving losers to walk down, no door into the suite opening onto looks of shock or cries of happiness. On the other hand, instead of a receptionist letting the candidates into the boardroom, we now have a butler. How posh is that? Yay, Jeeves!
The other big changes this season are on either side of Trump, and I'm not talking about his Real Doll wife (that link is not safe for work, around children, behind Grandma's back, or anywhere for that matter, so be warned (here, this one is much safer)). No, I'm talking about his daughter, Ivanka Trump, replacing the fired and much missed Carolyn. Luckily however, she's been doing a fine job so far and I can't wait to see further along in the season. On the other side, everyone's favourite curmudgeon, George, is gone! Maybe he's eating some fine cookies somewhere, maybe he's off playing shuffleboard, or maybe he's just too cranky to do it this season. All we know is that his chair is empty, and the latest twist is that the winning project manager will sit there when the losing team is in the boardroom. Oooooh, I like!
Being project manager during a task has always been a dangerous spot, with few benefits other than picking who comes back into the boardroom with you if you lose, and something to point to at the end if you make it to the final two. But now there are definite perks. In addition to the above sitting in on the losing team, the winning project manager now keeps that position until their team loses. If you get a team on a hot winning streak, you could write yourself into the final two unless you do something truly awful to screw yourself royally. Who wants to sit beside someone at the end who can say, "Mr. Trump, look at my record. I was project manager SIX weeks running!" Nobody, that's who!
Because it was the season premiere, we didn't get to know a lot of the cast. Trump really seemed to like that rat who helped screw Team Canada out of the very first Olympic gold medal for women's hockey ever, but that was pretty much all we saw of that triumph-stealing hussy. No, at the start of the season for most of these shows you pretty much only get camera time if you're in a position of power, if you're likely to make an early exit, or if you stand out in what is usually a bad way. James got some face time because he seems to be very, very talkative, but in the end this episode was the Martin, Frank, and Heidi Show. Martin was going to get face time no matter what, and I've got a feeling that Frank would have too, even if he wasn't his team's project manager. I'm just grateful he was, because it gave us one of the best near meltdowns ever following one of the best starts by an insane project manager ever. It was all good!
I won't even bother saying anything about Heidi's team this time around. They were cool, collected, and they won by thinking things through. Not so much with Frank, who didn't so much lead his team but started panicking immediately, which lead to the wonderful shot of him running away to get fliers printed while leaving his team wondering what the hell just happened. It was sooo delicious to see!
Then there was Martin. From the moment he stood there in his suit he bought from a blind tailor offering Trump a hug if it meant he could go to the bathroom we knew he was going to be a disaster, but how big of one? I mean, he's got the mighty big shoes of Brent from season 5, Markus from season 4, and Danny from season 3 to fill!
On the first task, putting together a tent, he excelled at standing on a rock, claiming he was "supervising". So far, so good! Then at the car wash he was a washout at sales. But... He just wasn't good at it. He didn't actually drive any sales away. That was a little disappointing. And for the record, I don't think Brent was ever Apprentice material, but I still think he was unfairly treated by his team based on his looks and personality.
Anyway, Frank's team lost, and Martin stayed surprisingly cool while Frank got more and more freaked out with every passing moment. I kept waiting for him to break down in uncontrollable sobs or to snap and start swearing at people while getting all paranoid. As fun as either of those would have been, the barely contained desperation was a blast to see. It also helped us to learn that in the boardroom, whining and begging means you "have the fire to succeed". In fact, maybe if Martin didn't stay so cool and did a little whining and begging himself, things would have been different. As it was, he was the one who took a ride home in a luxury car (no New York taxis this season).
I haven't said much about Heidi yet. Well, she was a competent project manager. It was a fairly straightforward task, so we'll have to wait to see how she does on something a little trickier. However, where she really shined was sitting beside The Donald in the boardroom. She had gone in with a plan to try and keep the weakest player on the other team around, but obviously she didn't have any control over that. What she did do well was sit there with confidence, asked good questions, and was honest with Trump. She looked like she belonged there, and that certainly can't hurt. If she wins again next week, she can build on all of that and help lay the foundation for keeping herself safe after her teams inevitable first loss (I say thinking of the odds of winning several in a row, but you never really know).
It's too early in the game to pick a favourite. There are just too many people we don't know well enough yet to make that call. For the moment though, Heidi is sitting in that coveted spot.

Season's Greetings from Realivision!

2006-12-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

With the finale of Survivor, we have no more competitive reality shows to cover until The Apprentice: Los Angeles debuts January 7, 2007. That, and the new show debuting the same day that's got everyone buzzing around the Realivision offices... Grease: You're The One That I Want. Thank you, Santa! Dreams really do come true!

So whether you celebrate the Winter Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Cthulu's Feast Of 1000 Souls And Tentacle-Faced Hootenanny, have a happy holiday season and we'll see you in the New Year.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Dec. 17 - Commentary

2006-12-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

What? It's over already? Damn! That means no more strategizing. Ummmmm... So, what did you think of the season?
No. I can do better than that.
What was your favourite memory?
NO!
Okay, let's just look back at the finale. Yeah, that'll do.
Adam somehow started growing something in his cranial cavity in his last couple of days on the island. It may have even been the start of a rudimentary brain of some sort. Even though it wouldn't have helped him out at all, his plan to get Yul to part with the hidden immunity idol was fundamentally a good one for the three people going up against him at the end, but unfortunately this whole "thinkin'" thing is still just too new to him, so he was unable to bring that plan to fruition (or, if you're Ozzy, to fruit). It would have been hard enough for a person of average intelligence, or hell, even a genius, to make the Aitu Four turn on Yul, and it was just plain impossible for someone whose nervous system is incapable of keeping his tongue in his mouth.
That first spark of life in Adam's head did seem to spark a small ember of growing awareness at his last Tribal Council (enjoy the fire analogies now, because they won't be relevant at all when we get to the fire making challenge that comes later). As much as I like the Aitu Four and was happy to see an alliance make it intact to the final four for once, I did enjoy how Adam's comments seemed to be causing discomfort in them. Frankly, it was stupid not to force Yul to give up the immunity. Ozzy was likely going to win the next challenge anyway, so taking Yul out of the picture would have given Becky and Sundra more of a chance of winning.
Oh, who am I kidding? Neither of them had a chance. But before getting to that, I have to say I was very impressed with Sundra in the final immunity. She was doing quite well, and I was actually on the edge of my seat for once each time Ozzy looked like he might fall. Hell, I was hoping he would, because that would have really shaken things up. But it didn't happen, and Ozzy once more and for the final time won individual immunity. It was nice to have it be interesting though. I also have to admit I was wrong again. In my last commentary, I thought Becky would have had more of a chance in the final challenge than Sundra, but she showed me up by going out there and kicking my prediction's ass.
However, I also made an argument in Becky's favour when it came to playing the game, and none other than Jeff Probst agreed with me. She was a much more integral part of Aitu's strategy than people gave her credit for, including the jury. Especially the jury.
Even if anyone on the jury was leaning towards voting for Becky and Sundra, whoever made it through the last elimination, they did a good job pushing those inclinations away with the most embarrassing tie-breaker ever. Yes, I know they were nervous, but other people have been nervous in the same situation and still managed to start a fire with the flint. Sundra couldn't even do it with matches! The good news is that the two of them managed to earn themselves a lifetime of never being arson suspects.
I was glad to see Becky make it through that tie-breaker. Of the two, she was more into playing the game, and even though not taking Yul's offer of the hidden immunity seemed crazy at first, it made perfect sense. She was going to have a hard enough time winning the jury over anyway, but taking that idol would have sealed her fate. Not that her lackluster arguments at the end didn't have the same effect. It's million dollar time! Stop playing nice!
Going a little bit backwards in time now, I do like that Ozzy wanted to see the tie-breaker. Considering how tight this alliance has been, it was a very fitting way to end it. It really didn't matter which of the two won, it was going to be an Ozzy/Yul showdown anyway.
And that brings me to the "final three" concept. It seemed like an interesting twist, but unless Adam made it to the end with Yul and Ozzy, it was still going to be a final two with one very sad looking hanger-on. I know I've said it already, but neither Becky nor Sundra stood a chance, though Becky had more arguments in her favour. Not that she would have been able to overcome the juries conceptions. I wonder why that's why her arguments were so lackluster. She probably saw the writing on the wall from the beginning. Damn, it was hard not to feel sorry for her from the start of the jury questioning to the moment the last vote was read.
It would have been nice if she got one vote, then we would have seen another tie-breaker, which would have been another fitting end. But nope, Yul got that last vote, and congratulations to him!
Yul certainly deserved his win (though I don't think any winner ever didn't deserve it, but some have worked harder than others). People may argue somewhat derogatorily that he may not have won without the hidden idol, and that's likely true, but it doesn't take away from his win. It's not that he had the idol, it's that he used it smartly. Look at Terry last season. He had an Ozzy-like domination of immunity challenges, and he had the hidden immunity idol. But he also lost. Why? Because he didn't use the hidden idol at all. It was just there as back-up in case he lost a competition. Aitu may have been a tight alliance this year, but Terry's alliance pretty much worshipped him. He could have used the idol to turn the numbers in his alliance's favour, and it would have been a much different end to the season.
That's why Yul deserved to win. He used the idol to flip a 5-4 against disadvantage into a 5-4 for advantage, and his alliance never had to look back after that. (For the record, Realivision wasn't around last season but on the boards I frequented I argued a lot that Terry didn't deserve to win because of his mishandling of the hidden idol, so I was very happy to see Yul demonstrate how it should be done.)
Terry also works as a comparison to Ozzy as both of them dominated in the individual immunity challenges. In the finale, Ozzy talked about playing alone, but if it weren't for his alliance he likely wouldn't have made it to the end. Thanks to Yul turning the numbers in their favour, when Adam won the individual immunity Ozzy was still safe. Assuming Raro could have mustered up enough cognitive thought between them, that would have (should have) been the end of Ozzy's game if they still had the numbers advantage.
Urgh. That's two seasons in a row now where one person has dominated challenges. If it happens again next time, it's going to get very boring.
I'm not going to get into the reunion show. It was okay, but there was nothing particularly jaw-dropping. The biggest disappointment in the whole three hours was that we were once again robbed of cheesy footage making it look like Probst travelled from the island straight to the studio. Ah, those were the days. Why did you stop doing that, Jeff Probst and Mark Burnett? Why? WHY?!?!
Maybe it's something we can look into while we wait for the premiere of Survivor: Fiji. Until then, we can just enjoy the fact that we just got a pretty damned good season. If you enjoy rooting for an underdog, it couldn't get any better than this.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Dec. 14 - Commentary

2006-12-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

So I've been arguing that the Aitu Four should stick together until all of Raro has been eliminated. I was wrong. It really is in the best interests of Yul, Sundra and Becky to vote out Ozzy the first chance they get now. With Pavrty gone and Adam as the lone Raro left, they can now afford to get rid of Ozzy.
Pavrarti, as it turned out, was the biggest threat left from Raro. If anyone was going to swing anyone in Aitu, it was going to be her. Becky and Sundra appear to be immune to Adam's considerable charms... HA! Damn, I was almost able to keep a straight face at the end of that sentence! Okay, it's easy for Becky and Sundra to be immune to Adam. He's not a bad looking guy, but apart from not being the smartest monkey in the barrel, I surely can't be the only woman in the world who can't stand that he can't seem to keep his tongue restrained to the confines of his mouth.
As for Yul, forget his loyalty, he smart enough to know he should go to the final three with Becky and Sundra. Even if Ozzy decides to make a move now with Adam, what kind of move could they make?
The next tribal council should be an easy one. If Ozzy wins immunity, vote out Adam. If Adam wins, vote out Ozzy. If neither wins, vote out Ozzy because it's now time to get him out the first moment he's vulnerable.
All that said, there is still once chance for Adam and Ozzy. They need to get together and work on Sundra. Open her eyes to how tight Yul and Becky are. She'd be stupid to go for it, as her best chance at final two (unless there is a final three at the final Tribal Council as it looks like there might be) is to go to the final three with Yul and Becky. Becky's been fiercely loyal to Yul so far, but both she and Sundra must realize that their best chance of winning this game is to go to the end together, and with Survivor's history of final immunity challenges requiring balance and/or stamina, between the two of them they'd have a good chance of winning that final competition. Well, Becky moreso than Sundra.
Actually, their best chance of winning would be to go up against Adam. Hmmmmm. Yul is safe at the next Tribal Council, but after that his hidden idol is no longer any good. If Ozzy goes next, it would be a toss-up after that whether they should vote off Adam or Yul. The biggest problem with taking Adam is that there are so many Raro members in the jury that it would really be tough to beat him, unless there are enough people who are still pissed off that they went before Jonathan. Brad, Jenny, and Rebecca are going to be tough to predict when it comes to their votes. Nate, Candice (the evil one, not the tough and awesome Kandice from Amazing Race, just to make that clear) and Porvraty would easily vote for Adam at the end. Jonathan is another tough call.
Ooooh, this is good. So many possibilities! This is what I love about Survivor!
Adam needs to get together with Ozzy, and both of them need to work on Sundra.
Ozzy, well, see above.
Sundra and Becky need to work together on their end game. Becky, unfortunately for her, may be too loyal to Yul and seems to be resolute on her plan to get to the final two with him. They do need to get Ozzy out, but then face a very tough choice after that, because neither of them could beat Adam or Yul at this point.
Yul is good to go through the next Tribal Council. After that, he needs to win immunity. I can't see the hidden idol do anything more than keep him safe one last time. The only way for it to come into play would be if a majority decides to vote for him just to force its use, but that would be a pointless exercise at this late point in the game.
Finally, I'd like to make an argument in Becky's favour. She and Sundra seem to be viewed as riding coattails through this season (something I still see as a valid strategy, with its biggest evil being that it's kind of boring to watch). That accusation seems to be valid in Sundra's case, but not Becky's. Sure, she hasn't been a threat at competitions, but few people have been with Ozzy in the picture. However, she has been one of the leaders in the alliance. Yul may have been a lot more visible, but Becky has been a strong voice.
It wasn't Yul who wanted Jonathan out last week. And who convinced him this week that Ozzy needs to go? Don't mistake lack of air time as not having an effect on the game. As for those on the island, Yul having the hidden idol has been an influence on how they view him, and I can't help thinking a small dose of sexism comes into it too. He's the guy! Of course he's the leader! He is a leader, but he shares much more of that role with Becky than people give her credit for. That's good for staying safe, but in the end it could cost her a million dollars.

The Amazing Race - Aired Dec. 10 - Commentary

2006-12-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

It's all finally over. After four continents and over 40,000 miles, we finally... ARGH! I can't pretend I didn't see it! What the hell is up with James' dad's eyebrows? Those are the freakiest damned things I've ever seen! I really wish I could bring a screen shot of those unnaturally long and elevated clumps of hair. It's a good thing I'll never meet him, as I don't think I'd be able to talk without staring. No wonder James got into drugs, what with the spectre of those alien brows haunting him his whole life!
Okay, that's out of my system. Congratulations James and Tyler, the Junkie Models. Of the final three, you were the least offensive of the possible winners so you did us proudish.
It was a race though once they got to New York. A race between two teams. The Single Moms didn't have a chance. When they couldn't make that direct flight to New York, the game was over for them. Even if they made it, there was no chance in Krispy Kreme hell that they would have been able to beat either of the other teams in a foot race of two miles. If they made it to New York in time, their only possible chance was a horrifically bad cab driver.
Oh god, those eyebrows...
For a season finale, it was a pretty boring episode overall. It had its moments, but it wasn't as good as the best episodes of the season. If there was another reason for wanting the Miss Americas in the final three, the friction between them and the other teams would have heated things up. At least we had Rob and Kimberley, they can always be counted on for a meltdown or two to keep us entertained. The Single Moms unfortunately were almost as bland as the Junkie Models without their archenemies to keep them agitated.
I'm sorry if this is all seeming disjointed and all over the place. I'm still a little freaked out. Couldn't he trim them? A small pair of scissors would make all the difference. As it is all I can think of is that long, black hair that shouldn't be that long, and it's keeping me from being able to establish any sort of cohesive, coherent narrative.
Let's see...
Boring? Check.
Two bland teams? Check.
Lease offensive winners? Check.
Single Moms didn't have a chance? Check.
Obligatory reference to Dustin and Kandice, the Miss Americas? Check.
Nightmarish brows? Check.
There really isn't much else. It was all over anticlimatic. I'd much rather see a Road Block or Detour just before the final mat. What did we get this season? Run two miles to a statue then take a cab. Oooooooooh! Goosebumps!
It was still enjoyable though, and it could have been much worse. For a while there it was looking like Rob and Kimberley would be the only team to catch the direct flight to New York, and short of some frantic editing it would have been a final one taking a leisurely stroll through the Big Apple. It sure was lucky that some seats opened up for James and Tyler so we were able to have an actual race at the end. Yeah, lucky.
Ah, sweet memories of Rob and Amber's plane actually backing up and reopening its doors so that Joyce and Uchenna could get on. That one took some clout. This time it could have been nothing more than the producers paying off a couple of passengers to get their seats. Maybe they bought them nicer seats on a later flight. That could do it. But I have no doubt there were some behind-the-scenes shenanigans in order to keep suspense levels up.
In both cases, the team that got the likely help ended up winning. That's gotta suck for the teams that made it on the planes first.
Anyway, I need to put those eyebrows behind me. It was a good season, and I'm looking forward to the next even if it is an All-Stars season as it appears to be. All-Star seasons invariably suck, but because of the nature of the Race it shouldn't be quite as plagued with the problems we saw on the Survivor and Big Brother All-Stars debacles.
And maybe, just maybe, we might get to cheer on the Miss Americas again.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Dec. 7 - Commentary

2006-12-10T12:36:00.000-07:00

Idiots.
To quote my very first paragraph from last week, "Okay, Aitu, don't do anything stupid. Candice is gone and that's a good thing. Messing with the plan now would be a bad thing. Is Jonathan annoying and untrustworthy? Sure. But voting someone off because they're annoying is always one of the stupidest things tribes on this show ever do, and if you know someone is untrustworthy, you an use them."
Is Jonathan not trustworthy? Of course not. Was the treatment he received this week pathetic? Yes. Holy crap, they could barely bring themselves to talk to him. "Oooooh, camp is ever so much funner without Jonathan around!" Thanks to the treatment Aitu gave him, and this really stupid vote, I no longer care who wins. Aitu just gave Raro the opening they needed to really start to work people and try to turn them. If Adam or Parvartie (again, I have no idea how to spell her name) aren't voted off next week, you can give the game to them.
I really did want to see an alliance go all the way to the final four without fracturing, but getting rid of Jonathan is the first crack. Is he really that unbearable that he can't be tolerated for a few more days for the sake of a million dollars?
Not only that, Aitu let Raro and their hypocritical distaste for the man influence them. So they're a lot more fun without him around. You're voting them off anyway!
And yes, they are really, very hypocritical. The only difference between him and Candice is that he realized he made a mistake and changed his mind. She turned on her tribe without even blinking.
It gets even worse. Adam has won an immunity, and Proovity just won a reward challenge after nearly severing part of her finger. That makes them dangerous! WHY OH WHY ARE YOU NOT VOTING THEM OFF WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE?!?!?!
Idiots.

The Amazing Race - Aired Dec. 3 - Commentary Update

2006-12-06T13:07:00.000-07:00

I was reading B-Side's Amazing Race recap over at TVgasm and he commented on something that I missed. After the Road Block, there was both an airport equalizer and an opening time equalizer at the park with the maze.
The previous two non-elimination legs were followed by Fast Forwards, so there was at least a chance for people to beat being marked for elimination. This leg however seemed like it was almost deliberately set up for a team that is marked for elimination to fail. I doubt it was deliberate though. More a case of producers not thinking this new twist on non-eliminations all the way through.
Maybe an extra Fast Forward could be thrown in. Maybe they could have a leg with no time equalizers between the Road Block and the Detour. Something, anything, to give the marked team an actual chance.
As much fun as the begging for money was on previous seasons, I do like this change in non-eliminations. Just make it actually mean something, that's all I'm asking. Mary and David had two chances at Fast Forwards, two real chances to actually stay in the game. The Miss Americas, Beauty Queens if you prefer, Dustin and Kandice, they just got screwed over by poor planning on the producer's parts. They managed to build up a good position coming out from the Road Block, only to see any lead they worked at done away by two equalizers. That's just wrong.
So there you go. I was wrong about former pageant contestants being done in by a fourth place curse. As it turns out, they're being done in by a poor production decisions curse.

The Amazing Race - Aired Dec. 3 - Commentary

2006-12-04T15:46:00.000-07:00

Sadness.

A void in our hearts,
Utter bleakness.

Darkness.

Where once shone sunshine,
Bright brilliance.

Painful.

You lit up our screens,
With your smiles.

Goodbye, sweet Team Miss America. We will miss you.

That's it. The best team of the season is gone. Is there any reason to go on? Any point in continuing?

Well, yeah. It's still The Amazing Race and it still rocks, even with the Miss Americas gone. If they can take any consolation from this, it's that wow, were the other teams scared of them. I don't think there was such a concerted effort even in the Boston Rob and Amber season.
Dustin and Kandice gave it a good go, and they have some nice prizes to show for their first place finishes, and they certainly have nothing to be ashamed of for their efforts in the race.
As it turned out, being marked for elimination had no effect at the end. If you believe in destiny, you can certainly say the Miss Americas were destined for a fourth place finish as they came in last anyway, and it's doubtful that it came from the other teams' gameplans at all. Usually you only want to take the search option in a Detour if you aren't particularly physically fit, but the two teams who picked the tomato search did better than the two who picked lugging around giant costumes. Maybe if they were able to get decent directions quickly it would have been different, but the Miss Americas still wouldn't have been able to build up a big enough lead to keep in the race.
I do have to give the Junkie Models credit. It does make more sense to go to the final three with the Single Moms instead of the Miss Americas, despite the recent resurgence of the sour Alabamans, and with the Pageanteers being marked for elimination, sticking close to them was a good idea. It's nice to see a little strategy come into play. Well done, Junkie Models. Well done.
So with the best team of the season gone, who else is there to cheer for in this final stretch? Let's take a look.

Junkie Models
Pro: The least offensive team left. They've done little to piss off the other players or audience. The above strategy was good too.
Con: They've done little to entertain the audience. Heck, they've done little to keep us away. Bland, boring, and completely indistinguishable from each other.

Single Moms
Pro: The first all-female team to make it to the final three, it would be nice to see an all-female team win. Since the departure of the Chos, they've also proven to be surprising competitors. They also seem to be the team with the most to gain from winning the money.
Con: Sour, hateful, spiteful, constantly bitching. We don't see everything that goes on behind the scenes, but it wouldn't be surprising if they were the instigators of the feud with the Miss Americas.

Rob and Kimberly
Pro: The only entertaining team left. They may have been surprisingly pissy towards the Miss Americas, they've saved most of their venom for each other and at least it gives us something to enjoy.
Con: I'll be nice and say they're likely more ignorant and xenophobic than they are racist. Some of the comments they have made while experiencing other countries and cultures have been jaw-droppingly horrible. Aside from this, despite how entertaining their fighting has been, that in conjunction with their whining and complaining has been pretty tiresome.

It's tough to decide on a team to give the Officially Endorsed by Realivision label to out of this collection of misfits. The pros I listed make it so that it won't be completely horrifying if any of the teams win, but heck, our Officially Endorsed by Realivision team is... The Junkie Models.
Of any of the final three, they would be the most tolerable to take a long car ride with because they'd make it very easy to sleep for the entire trip.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 30 - Commentary

2006-12-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, Aitu, don't do anything stupid. Candice is gone and that's a good thing. Messing with the plan now would be a bad thing. Is Jonathan annoying and untrustworthy? Sure. But voting someone off because they're annoying is always one of the stupidest things tribes on this show ever do, and if you know someone is untrustworthy, you an use them.
So Raro showed their hypocrisy yet again. They were all over Jonathan for eating Adam's coconut, then all whiny and pathetic when they weren't called out to share the fish he caught. Seriously, Parvaty (I'm not sure how to spell her made-up name and I'm not about to check CBS.com because she tires me enough already) has been there this long already, and she's never seen a fish get cleaned before? And they cry when the people doing the work decide not to give them any food? I'm a liberal in favour of welfare for people on hard times who need it, but these are strong, healthy individuals who have no excuse for not doing any work around camp.
Candice, oh Candice. You turned your back on your tribe and your alliance without even blinking. I'm so glad I don't have to put up with you making Jonathan out to be a lower life form than you for changing his mind.
At least they're trying to strategize, even if they are failing miserably. How lame is it to be concentrating on getting Jonathan out? "I don't mind losing, as long as he's voted out first!" Oh shut up. Adam and Pavertie aren't without real options right now, but they don't seem to be using them. Get in Ozzy and Sundra's ears. Point out the closeness of Yul and Becky, and question how much of a chance they have to get to the final two against them? It might not work so well with Ozzy who can win immunities, but Sundra would be, well, she'd be an idiot to turn. She'd be facing a jury full of Raro and pissed off Aitu if she did. But as we know, people in this game don't always look ahead or at the bigger picture.
Even if turning Ozzy and Sundra doesn't work, they have to try. I'd have a lot more respect for Adam and Povarty if they tried to do something bigger than just trying to outlast Jonathan.
What Jonathan need to do now is to tone himself down. I'd suggest being quiet, but he does need to counter the poisoning against him Raro is going to be doing so keeping his mouth shut isn't an option. A lower profile would be invaluable though. That, and get into people's minds that you're the one they'd want to go to the final two.
As for Aitu, they can't fall prey to the usual trap we see pretty much every season of Survivor there has ever been. An alliance gets the numbers on their side, but before they've cleaned out their opponents, things fall apart. I'd love to see this one make it to the final five with Jonathan. Because he's too useful to have in the final two, it'll be okay if they start voting each other out at that point. If Aitu makes in intact to the final four though, I'll be very happy to see an alliance finally make it, strategy be damned.
But not completely. Adam needs to go next week. Winning immunity this week has shown him to be too much of a threat. And all that said, it wouldn't be too bad if Becky and Sundra team up with a suddenly alone Porvortee and take out Ozzy and Yul the first chance they get. If an alliance is going to fall apart, do it to take out the teammates you have no chance of beating in the final two.

Realivision Correction - Yes, even we make mistakes

2006-11-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

Correction: In the last commentary on The Amazing Race, I talked about a "fourth place curse" on former pageant contestants competing on these shows. Thanks to years of oxygen deprivation from living up in the peaks of the mountains surrounding Edmonton, my memory isn't quite what it used to be. In Treasure Hunters, Team Miss USA in fact came in fifth, not fourth like I thought. It was Team Ex-CIA who came in fourth, and as far as I knew, none of them has ever competed in a pageant.
Team Miss USA may well have made it to the final four if not for an unfortunate decision the producers of Treasure Hunters made, but I've already gone into that in the appropriate recap.
So when you read back on this week's Amazing Race commentary, please skip my unfortunate error.

Correction: There are no mountains surrounding Edmonton, and even if there were, I do not live on one. Therefore oxygen deprivation is no excuse.

Realivision deeply regrets any inconvenience these errors may have caused.

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 26 - Commentary

2006-11-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing... If you want to avoid looking like a huge, friggin' hypocrite, don't plan on using the Yield against a team then get all pissy and superior when they beat you to it and Yield you instead. This keeps happening, and I don't get it. The Single Moms started going on about karma getting the Miss Americas, but would it then be karma if they got to it first?
Ah, they annoy me. I do want to see them get to the final three though. Along with the Miss Americas. How awesome would it be for two of the final three to be all female teams?
And I should give credit where credit is due. Despite being Yielded and despite being the least physically able team left, the Single Moms managed to come in second. If not for the Yield, they may well have come in first this leg. All this time, everyone one of us thought it was the Cho brothers who were being held back by being in the Back Pack alliance (come on, you know you thought this), but it turns out that it was the Single Moms. That was quite the surprise.
Rob and Kimberley continue having highly amusing car problems, this time a flat tire. Dang, I love this team. I mean, as people they appear to suck, but they are so hugely entertaining. If they make it to the final three, I'd be quite happy. As long as it's not at the expense of the Miss Americas.
Speaking of the Miss Americas, back when Rob and Amber were racing, it annoyed me immensely that they didn't stop when another team's car crashed. But that was a crash, and it could have been serious. Passing another team who has a flat tire doesn't bother me at all. You're in the final four! Revel in the flatness of that tire!
I also like that the Miss Americas are honest with us with how they're playing the game. I don't mind people who are playing evil, but don't be hypocritical about it and don't lie to the audience.
Team Realivision had me worried last night, unfortunately. All it takes in the Race is one missed turn and you're gone. If they didn't get lost on the way to the Detour, it would be Rob and Kimberley being marked for elimination. The fact that it was a non-elimination leg is all that kept this blog from being soaked with tears today. Not that it means the Miss Americas are safe. They absolutely need to come in first on the next leg, or they are likely going home. If they do get eliminated, that'll make them the second pageant team in a row to break my heart in the final four (though unlike Treasure Hunters' Team Miss USA, at least there won't be questionable decisions on the producers' side casting a pall over the result). Maybe we need a Team Miss Canada to break this fourth place curse. Can we get one in the next Rockstar? Canadians kick ass in that show. Two in a row, baby!
The blandest team left are the Junkie Models. Really. Maybe they're bland because they're former junkies. Possibly they were more exciting when they were using. All I know is they are very boring. In the Road Block, one of them (I can't tell which is which) let out the most half-hearted, low energy cheers for his teammate. For all the effort he put into it, he might as well have whispered his encouragement. At least it was funny to watch. Worst. Cheerleader. Ever.
The sad thing is, I may have to root for them if the Miss Americas are eliminated next week. Come on, Dustin and Kandice! You HAVE to come in first now! We know you can do it! Even better still? If you do, you'll be the first team this season to survive a non-elimination without the help of others!

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 24 - Commentary

2006-11-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

I really want to dislike the choice for eviction this week, but I can't. For the Aitu tribe, it does make sense. Jonathan, on the other hand, made quite a bone-headed move that may have screwed him out of a million dollars, even though it may well have got him some of that sweet second place dough. So maybe it might not be so bone-headed after all. Especially if he had no chance of winning anyway.
But before we get more into that, let me just say it's nice to see someone playing a little smarter and willing to take a little more risk with the hidden immunity idol this season, not like last time around when Terry could have used it to get the numbers on his side, but instead used it as a back-up in case he lost a challenge (his alliance worshipped him, so if he kept the numbers on his side he wouldn't have needed it).
Yul, on the other hand, is rocking it. He knew his alliance was in trouble, so he was willing to share the information with it, and formulate a plan that would not only keep them safe, but even the playing field (and damn, he even managed to get the numbers in their favour, he's that good). If anyone deserves to win, it's Yul.
Or Ozzy. He has been kicking so much ass in the competitions. And was anyone stupid enough to bet against him in the Hanging-Onto-The-Pole challenge? When I saw that, I knew he had this one in the bag. If anything, this challenge was tailor-made to get Aitu's plan working optimally.
In case you missed it, the plan was to try and swing Jonathan back to their side so they'd have the numbers to vote out someone from Raro, and failing that, Yul was willing to sacrifice the hidden immunity idol by playing it, thus voting out the next highest vote getter. Luckily, Jonathan was so terrified that he'd be that next highest vote getter, Yul was able to swing him, though it did take showing him the idol to do it.
By swinging to the other side a second time, Jonathan just made himself the most hated person on that island. On the other hand, it also made him the most attractive choice for everyone to take to the final two with them, something Yul has already noticed. It also looks to have the added effect of giving us much drama next week, with the treacherous, back-stabbing Candice actually being hypocritical enough to try and take the moral high road over Jonathan. Oh, that's going to be fun to see!
Here's the thing though... Jonathan not only didn't have to swing, he could have been a bit of a hero with Raro. Sure, both Ozzy and Yul had immunity, but why are those the only two Aituians (?) they could possibly vote for? All Raro had to do was make Aitu think they're voting for Yul, but instead vote for Sundra or Becky. That would have cut their number down to three, because Yul would have been holding on to the hidden idol, and then next week they'd have even more room to work.
Of course, for that to work it would require Raro not being... what's a good for it? Morons. Yeah, that'll do it. Jonathan tried floating the idea of Yul having the idol past them, but they shot it down so quickly there's no way anyone with a scrap of intelligence should stick with that alliance of fools.
And speaking of not too smart, I want to like Nate, I really do. But after the double vote last week where he found himself alone as the sole surviving person of colour in the middle of the original caucasian tribe, why alarm bells weren't going off in his head, I don't know. Your tribe voted off Jenny before Jonathan, big guy! You should be sweating bullets! Especially with Adam being as close to Candice as he is!
I would have normally preferred Adam to be the one to go, but there are reasons that Nate made sense, both for Jonathan and for Aitu. For Aitu, it gave Jonathan a little more incentive to flip by giving him the choice of who goes, plus Nate was getting a little too chummy with Ozzy to want to keep him around. For Jonathan, he was going to piss off Raro no matter what he did, but at least this way gives him hope that if things go awry again, maybe, just maybe he might be able to get the original caucasian tribe to stick together and keep him around. That's not going to happen. More importantly, there was a possibility of Nate flipping to Aitu, so this keeps that from happening and keeps his spot safe.
So yes, I wanted Adam gone, but strategically, this was actually the best move.
For the record, I totally called the merge last week, but it's not like it was hard. When previews show Yul and Ozzy talking about turning the game around with the hidden immunity idol, it's not a stretch to see that a merge must have happened.

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 19 - Commentary

2006-11-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

"Hey, kids, who wants to play Monopoly?"
"We do!"
"Great! Okay, we're all going to be the thimble."
"Yay!"
"Ready? Let's all roll the dice together..."
*Shake shake roll*
"Five! Reading Railroad! Let's go for a ride on the train!"
"Choo choo!"
"Let's all roll again..."
*Shake shake roll*
"Four! Connecticut Avenue!"
"Yay! Can we buy the property?"
"Now, now, son. You never know if one of our friends are going to drop by and may want to play, so we have to leave them available for them. But look at the pretty blue bar on it."
"Ooooooh!"
*Shake shake roll*
"Ten! New York Avenue! New York is a pretty city."
"It sure is!"
*Shake shake roll*
"Three! Uh oh. Chance. Taking chances can be dangerous, so we'd better leave those cards alone. Let's roll those dice before something bad happens."
*Shake shake roll*
"Six! Water works!"
"Cleanliness is next to godliness."
"Ha! You are so right, you little scamp."
*Shake shake roll*
"Eight. Chance again, darn the luck. We'd better get rolling."
*Shake shake roll*
"Eleven! We all passed Go! We're all winners!"
"Hooray!"
"Yay!"

And so goes game night at the Cho household, or at least the way I envision it. I know the brothers are really nice guys and all, but yeesh, it's possible to be nice and still be competitive. That's where the word "sportsmanship" comes from. It was so annoying watching them wait for their alliances all the time that I was happy to finally see them get eliminated. Now we're left with just competitors who will all be actually competing in this, what's the word? Oh yeah... Competition. The only reason for wanting to see the whole Back Pack make it to the final three was to see how they would handle making it to the final mat, but I suspect that as the Chos and Kentucky made plans to step on the mat hand-in-hand, Alabama would have broken off and made a run for it. Unless they stuck with the alliance complaining about it all the time.
One of the Chos (sorry, but except for Rob and Kimberley, I can't place a name with a face for any individual from any remaining team) was crying at the end, talking about how they were playing as they were raised, and so the above vision of a Monopoly game from the brothers' childhood. I still don't understand the tears, unless they were going to miss travelling further with their dear friends in a lovely jaunt around the world.
The best thing to spring from this alliance was watching the Alabama Single Moms bitch and complain about how slow the Chos were driving and how often they stopped for directions, and yet it took them most of the episode to decide to go it alone. The Chos seemed broken-hearted about it, but it was hard to feel bad for them just because one of the two teams remembered that it's a race.
Speaking of people who are remembering it's a race, I'm so happy to see Rob and Kimberley remain in the race, despite the various car troubles they were having. I don't want them to win, they're too much a pair of jerks to want to see that, but I'll be damned if they aren't entertaining in their assholery.
Realivision's chosen team, the Miss Americas, did well again, keeping their second place standing from last week intact. I'd love to have seen them pull ahead of the Junkie Models, but we can't have everything. You keep at it, Kandice and Dustin! We're behind you all the way, even if one of you has a boy's name!

WARNING: IF YOU DON'T LIKE ANY SPOILERS, EVEN FROM THE PREVIEWS, DON'T READ THIS LAST PARAGRAPH!

Unfortunately the previews for next week are very foreboding. As I've said before, all it takes is one bad leg. A wrong turn here, bad luck in a search and find challenge there, throw in the Yield and it could all go to hell next week. I can't tell you how much I'm hoping what I fear may happen doesn't happen, as I really don't want to be left cheering for the Junkie Models in the final three. I would have to though, because I really couldn't bring myself to cheer on the bitter, joyless Single Moms or the ignorant, squabbling Rob and Kimberley.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 16 - Commentary

2006-11-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

Idiots.
As soon as Jenny opened her mouth talking about voting out Rebecca, the idea that Raro tribe is composed almost entirely of idiots cemented itself in my mind. Two people from the original caucasian tribe defected over, giving Raro two very easy Tribal Councils in a row, and what do they do? They start getting rid of tribe members they'd just spent however many days with building alliances with.
These decisions have been so monumentally moronic that it's even taking me away from one of the best twists in Survivor history - the unexpected double vote.
If there is any way better to force out allegiances, I can't think of one. Don't give people a chance to strategize and the vote will tell you a lot, and I could tell by the look on Nate's face that he learned a lot when Jenny was voted out right after Rebecca and he was left alone in a sea of pale.
I strongly suspect there will be a merge next week, and if there is, I really hope Nate jumps ship to Aitu. Unless he wins every individual immunity challenge, he's got no chance of winning as he just found out the alliance he thought he had doesn't really exist. So if he's going to go down, I really hope he takes Raro with him. Who better to see win than some member of the plucky Aitu tribe?
Plucky, yet vengeful. Oh, boo hoo, Candice. You had to go to Exile Island again. "I don't understand why the people I screwed over would have it in for me!" Stop your pathetic mewling, vile traitor! It may not be nice to enjoy someone suffering, but considering that her health or life are in no danger here, it was damned fun watching her suffer.
It wasn't even strategy drove her to "mutiny" last week. Strategy would have kept her in a strong alliance while in Aitu, keep people's trust, then after the merge shift stab them in the back. I would have respected that. But no, the only reason she jumped was to be with her cuddle-buddy, Adam. I swear, if we see another "Romber" final two, I'm going to throw up.
But at least Boston Rob had some degree of intelligence and the ability to work around camp and win competitions. Yeesh, it's bad if I'm telling someone, "Pffff, you're no Boston Rob."
On the plus side, if there is a merge next week (and I have no doubt there will be), even if Nate doesn't do the smart thing or the vengeful thing, Aitu can still even the numbers by using Yul's hidden Immunity Idol, and I've got the feeling he's a lot smarter and a lot less egomaniacal than Terry last season, so Yul just might use the thing this year, even (gasp!) giving it to an alliance mate to help get the numbers in the favour.
That would be so sweet. It would certainly make up for most of the idiotic votes we've seen so far.

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 12 - Commentary

2006-11-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

During last night's episode teams descended into the bowels of the earth, only to be pushed aside by the Fogals who couldn't wait for the cold embrace of their Dark Lord. On the way down, they passed the Wild Hanlons, who had been lost in the mine for about 27 hours.
Damn, I miss Treasure Hunters. There were some great personalities on that show. Come back, Kayte Fogal. Please come back.
But at least we have the Cho brothers, who had to go the bathroom but decided to wait for team Alabama so they could all go together. How sweet. Okay, that didn't happen, but damn it, Chos, it's a freakin' competition!
Unlike the single moms though, they didn't help spread the "ugly American" stereotype by pissing off a whole queue full of people waiting for cabs. That's a point in their favour. However, they didn't use that to their advantage and talk the angry people into letting them have the next cab so they could beat those rude bit... bitter women in the race. That's a point against them. Seriously guys, you just had a glimpse of how badly these women want to stay in this race. It really should have been an eye-opener for them, but that doesn't seem to be the case. At least being in the final five should cause things to happen that will show them that Alabama isn't as committed to the alliance as they are.
Hmmmm... Maybe by being too nice, the Chos may have made a deal with the devil. Maybe they were the ones going for that cold embrace in the bowels of the earth!
No. They're just too nice. Good thing they're not in the Olympics. I have visions of them in a relay race, waiting for Teams Croatia and Madagascar because they're all running together.
I don't know if it shows or not, but this whole "waiting around for the other teams in the alliance" thing is really getting on my nerves.
Unlike the Miss Americas, who continue to kick ass! Sure, when last we saw them they were in second place, but no biggie. They're still secure in the race. It's all good. I just hope they don't have any problems rappelling face first down that tower. Face freakin' first! One of the Chos, I can't remember which, has an issue with heights. He's not gonna like that one!
By the way, the funniest sight of the night? Phil waist deep in mud as some Finnish athlete jumps over an obstacle and lands beside him. Phil got a little splattered, or as I like to call it in deference to my friends over at TVgasm, PhilSplattered™ while up to the PhilWaist™ in PhilMud™ by the PhilFinn™.
I loved the mud. It was great, watching people getting bogged down. I did think of Kayte Fogal while watching it, wondering how she would fare under such physical hardships. Better than the Wild Hanlons, I'm sure, who are still lost in that mine after 52 hours even though it appeared to only go pretty much straight up and down with a couple of curves.
"DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I'M HURTING?!?! OWWWWWWW! MY FOOT!"
Kayte really did make for entertaining television. Sure, Treasure Hunters had its flaws, but it was a damned good show.
Sigh.
The Amazing Race! Oh yeah, sorry. I was getting caught up in the nostalgia. You know, after however many seasons of The Amazing Race, people should know by now that if the clue after the roadblock doesn't have the words "pitstop" and "may be eliminated", they are going to be on an extended leg of the race that will be continued next week? The only disappointment was not having Phil fake the racers out with a mat this season. That was a huge disappointment, as it's always fun to see their faces drop, especially the first place finishers. Yes, I've got a bit of a cruel streak. This shouldn't be news at this point. I'm also a fan of waking contestants up in the middle of the night, but considering that pitstops always last twelve hours and the racers often have to leave at 3:00 am or so, it doesn't really count here.
Damn it.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 09 - Commentary

2006-11-10T17:30:00.000-07:00

Ooooooooh, interesting twist this week!
But before I get to that, I have to say there is no one person I am really cheering for this season. There is no Cirie, Rupert or Stephenie to get the old heart a-pumpin' hoping they make it through the next Tribal Council. There is a tribe I'm rooting for, but no individual. I guess Yul is a good choice, and Ozzy's hanging in there despite some unfortunate comments he made earlier in the season, but meh, they're just choices for choices' sake.
Alright, the twist. They called it "mutiny", but it was really that. If it was mutiny, the tribe would have the chance to toss perceived leaders to the other side. No, this was defection, and it brought about a couple of really stupid moves.
First was Candice, who had to trust that Adam has enough pull in Raro to keep her safe. Then there was Jonathan who... what the hell was he thinking? And safety concerns are only part of the reason this was all spectacularly bone-headed. Candice and Jonathan were both in a pretty rock-solid alliance in Aitu, with the a merge looming in who knows how many days. Going into a merge with their alliance, then getting together with Adam and Poverty... er, Parvati and their alliance, they could then decide at that point which people outside of their initial alliance they want to dump as being most dangerous.
Thanks to Candice missing her little cuddlebunny, they completely alienated themselves from their Aitu alliance and showed themselves to be untrustworthy to most of the members of Raro.
Luckily for them Brad had managed to completely bungle his game and was at the top of the Raro evict list. And you know you bungled your game badly if your tribe votes you out instead of the easy choice newbies.
Normally Brad's ineptitude at the game of Survivor would have made him the smartest choice for elimination, and considering some of the nonsensical moves this season, this was one of the smartest eliminations yet. But it wasn't the smartest one they could have made.
Everyone on Raro other than Adam and Poverty... er, Parvati, should have been a hell of a lot more suspicious when the only two people to defect were the only two members of the original caucasian tribe in Aitu coming over to join the other two members of that original tribe in Raro. It's one thing to trust in your alliances, but considering that those two just screwed over whatever alliances they had in Aitu, you really need to have to wonder what's up. If there is even the slightest chance that those four are going to hook up again, you have to nip it in the bud. Jonathan would have been the safer choice because it would have kept Adam happy, but it was Candice who really needed to go. Nobody trusts Jonathan at all, and they still would have had enough numbers even if there were a merge to get rid of Brad later.
It was great to see Aitu kick ass in two consecutive challenges. I really hope they win every immunity up until the merge. I know it's driving the overly smug and way too comfortable in their untouchability Adam and Nathan crazy.
I will give one thing to the men of this season, they do seem to be running the show. Sure, the women got together and got rid of J.P. earlier, but they fell apart the very next day and it's been all about the men since then. It would be nice to see this result in a female winner though.
Go, all-but-invisible Rebecca, go!

The Amazing Race - Aired Nov. 5 - Commentary

2006-11-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

Travel Tip: When visiting Madagascar, always bring along a container for gasoline and fill it up immediately if you plan on using any of the nations many wonderful taxi cabs for transportation.

Seriously, if I had known how many times cabbies would have to stop to fill up in this episode, I would have kept count. It was funny on the surface and a hoot to watch all these racers getting steamed over it. And the poor Cho brothers, stopping twice!
I have my theory on why this kept happening, but it's not so fun. If you're curious, ask me in comments and I will reply there. Right now let's just enjoy the thought of poor Mr. Cho pulling up to his second gas station.
Aaaaaaaahhhhh...
By the way, it just occurred to me that the name of the country contains both "gas" and "car". Maybe it somehow influences the need to actually put gas in cars.

But this is all taking focus off the most important thing we've been learning from this season... PAGEANT WOMEN KICK ASS! And I'm saying that as a hideous beast who would never have any chance of making into a pageant, and a feminist who has some issues with pageants in the first place (sorry, Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek! But my views have changed quite a bit in recent months!). Not to get off the point here, sorry. Pageant women kick ass. The Miss USAs on Treasure Hunters rocked, and now it's the Miss Americas (or Beauty Queens if you prefer) on this show.
Dustin and Kandice have come in first two weeks in a row, and it would have been three if it weren't for the first Fast Forward. Not on that, they actually beat the people who took the second Fast Forward!
Damn, I was cheering when they ran to the mat this week. I know all it takes is one unlucky search challenge to blow it all to hell, but for now I'm enjoying their success. I'm putting this out there now... Dustin and Kandice, if either of you would like to be in the running for Miss Realivision 2007, please e-mail at the address at the bottom of this page. Realivision would love to do an interview with either one or both of you.

As for the Cho brothers, I'm not so sure. I love your loyalty, but enough is enough. When the entire Backpack/Sixpack decided to wait for each other at the start of the leg, I gave up on them entirely. There is no way the single moms or Mary and David are going to beat every one of the remaining teams, as some degree of physicality is required to win the Race.
If we could see into Mary's head, I'm sure we could see visions of the Backpack as the final three, hand-in-hand walking casually to the final mat, singing joyous songs of friendship and sharing the million dollars amongst themselves.
Though if this were to happen, the single mothers have shown less investment in this alliance than the other two teams so I'm sure just as they approached the mat, they'd break off and run for it first. And I'd cheer them all the damned way!
It's not going to happen though, because Mary and David are eliminated now, so we will get no more of their sweet naivety.

Oh, there is so much more to write about. Cow lips! Oooooh, the cowlips, and the cheering each other on about the cow lips (with teeth).
There was the Intersection, an interesting new twist on the game. As much as I love the Miss Americas and was happy as a fan that they teamed up with the Cho brothers, as a viewer I would have loved to have seen them and the Alabama single moms forced to work together.
But alas, I must wrap this up. It's hard to find 5 seconds in a row to write anything. I really need a working computer at home again... if anyone wants to be my sugar daddy.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Nov. 2 - Commentary

2006-11-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!
It's only 39 days. 39 days for ONE MILLION DOLLARS! So why the hell keep someone you can't trust any more than you could trust Mark Foley in a high school boy's locker room over someone who just rubs you the wrong way?
I don't care if you snore, fart in my face, call me horrible names, and wake me up every night with a 1:00 am wedgie. If I can trust you, I'm going to keep you around.
So why, please, someone, tell me why they voted Flicka out over Jonathan?
Okay, so we're not talking about rocket scientists here. Sure, it seemed like a good idea on paper to kidnap Nathan and keep him from participating in a challenge, but it was a friggin' reward challenge. They're nice and all, but in the long run you can do without one or two of them. Thanks to Ozzy, Aitu is eating fine, and keeping the other tribe from getting food is smart, but you know what's even smarter? Screwing up their plans and forcing them to vote off someone else, creating cracks in alliances before the merge. So I still think they would have been better off taking Cristina. Not only would it have had the advantages already listed, come merge time if Cristina were to have made it, she could have been easily won over as another number on Aitu's side. What is the problem with Survivor contestants and being unable to think ahead?
Ozzy seems to be using it to his advantage. Never mind that he will be a huge threat in individual immunity, as well as a possible threat to go over to Raro thanks to being left out of the big alliance in Aitu, people are hungry now.
I do like that Raro got rid of JP when they did and worried more about later on down the road and less about winning challenges right now. Until they forgot all about that the next week. The women had it in the bag, and then? Two women in a row voted off. When it comes to sticking together as an alliance, I have to say, we kinda suck. Even the strongest women's alliance ever, the one in Survivor: Vanuatu, was scuttled by pettiness. Scout and Twila lost anyway, and it was a man, Chris, who came out on top and won against all odds.
The most pathetic thing I've ever seen was, if I remember the season correctly, in Survivor: Amazon when women and men were first split into seperate tribes, this one woman whose name I can't remember was all sick and wanting to go home. Until the producers mixed the tribes up and she sprung back to life at the introduction of men. It was a sad spectacle indeed when someone can't even go a week or two without the opposite sex.
Anyway, my point is people keep making the same mistakes on these shows. I really don't get how that's even possible, unless they've never watched an episode and were whisked away before doing any research.
That's the only way this ever makes any sense.

The Amazing Race - Aired October 29 - Commentary

2006-10-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

I realize from the boards I frequent that I may be in the minority, but I love the Beauty Queens more and more each week. They are playing the game to win, and aren't above taking a poke at their joy-challenged competition, the humourless single mothers from Alabama. When they asked the ticket agent for tickets for the Junky Models ahead of Alabama, sure it was a little mean, but it was fun to watch. This is the best rivalry I've seen on the show in ages!
The Beauty Queens (or as I'd rather call them, and shall from now on, the Miss Americas) are serious contenders for this race. They came in first this week, and would have come in first last week too if it weren't for the Fast Forward that got Team Kentucky, Mary and her coal-mining husband got thanks to the Cho Brothers.
I'd also like to go on record as saying I really doubt that they're too stupid to know where London is. Considering that they misheard "England" as "India" (and who amongst us hasn't completely misheard words), I think it's far more likely they just misunderstood when "London" was said. Either that, or the idea of going hundreds of miles backwards in order to go forward just seemed wrong enough that they thought that they must have meant something else.
Anyway, go Miss Americas! Realivision is in your corner!
The Cho Brothers, on the other hand, I'm kinda over. Handsome, yes. Nice, yes. Looking great without shirts, yes. But that they actually waited in their car for the rest of their alliance to catch up with them was so pointless and boneheaded. I really hope that this sort of nonsense costs them the game. In The Amazing Race, there are only two people per team. Not six. It's one thing to help each other along, but to hold yourself back deliberately? Why even compete if you're not going to, well, compete? As we've seen before in the show, it's possible to be nice people and still be competitive (hi, Joyce and Uchenna).
So we've had two non-elimination legs within three weeks. I can't say I like them too close together. And as much fun as sweet, naive Mary is, this is keeping Team Kentucky in the race much longer than they should be. It doesn't look like they have a Fast Forward to help them out next week though. That's because of the upcoming new twist, "Intersection", which looks interesting to say the least. One of the Backpack alliance has to work with the Miss Americas? As long as they don't hinder Realivision's favourite team, this could be a lot of fun...

Fun With Realivision - Yeah, it's really just filler...

2006-10-28T16:43:00.000-06:00

So I'm checking out the site stats, something I haven't done for a while, and it's nice to see people are still dropping by. Hi! Nice to see you! Please leave comments. I need the validation. Please. I'm begging you... Besides, the numbers aren't anywhere near what they were in the Realivision heyday. That makes commenting so much more vital to my emotional well-being!
Alright, that's out of the way. And I do have a goal in mind for this post. Keywords! The nifty phrases people type into Google or, if Treasure Hunters got to them enough, Ask.com, to find the information they need about their favourite reality shows. While none of the ones used to find Realivision come close to the "terry hatcher toilet" or "robot rape" people used to find my other blog (which has been just as forlorn and forgotten as this one), it's still fun to see what's on people's minds. Some comments after the stats...

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6 11.32% dancin with the stars
3 5.66% maksim chmerkovsky
2 3.77% dancin' with the stars
2 3.77% nerd routine pictures so you think you can dance
2 3.77% dancin with the stars first season
2 3.77% laird macintosh
2 3.77% celebrity duets pictures
1 1.89% allison and ivan
1 1.89% louis van amstel gay blog
1 1.89% lynn-rae wrote body
1 1.89% jessica and melissa schilling
1 1.89% monique coleman and louis van amstel are they a couple
1 1.89% extra with monique coleman and louis van amstel
1 1.89% lynn rae wrote
1 1.89% so you think you can dance what a feeling
1 1.89% theo von neck brace
1 1.89% louis van amstel gay
1 1.89% sara evans apology allison
1 1.89% is louis van amstel gay
1 1.89% pictures so you think you can dance goth zombie
1 1.89% karina smirnoff ethnicity
1 1.89% melissa witek
1 1.89% knowlton haaland
1 1.89% inflatable violet beauregarde costumes
1 1.89% big brother janelle and will interview
1 1.89% treasure hunters melissa miss usa
1 1.89% name of judges dancing with the stars
1 1.89% rap song for learnin the names of bones in the human skeleton
1 1.89% kym jung soon, the professional dancer
1 1.89% jones soda company
1 1.89% dancer cheryl burke ethnicity
1 1.89% lynn rae dance
1 1.89% so you think you can dance season 2 goth dance video
1 1.89% kym johnson tom dancin stars springer
1 1.89% so you think you can dance tour recap
1 1.89% judges of so you think you can dance
1 1.89% edyta sliwinska nude pics
1 1.89% louis van amstel gay blogs
1 1.89% ethnicity of dancer cheryl burke
1 1.89% miss florida gator melissa witek
1 1.89% carrie ann inaba youtube
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People really want to know if Dancing With the Stars, ummm, star Louis Van Amstel is gay, don't they? I'll tell you right now, I don't know if he is. I wouldn't bet against it, but unless you're hoping to get busy with him, it really doesn't matter if he is or not. Providing that people aren't wanting to sue because their fantasies have been crushed, like a group of Clay Aiken fans are.
Note from that last paragraph that the word is "Dancing". Only one lone searcher put the "g" in. Someone even correctly inserted an apostrophe when they dropped the "g" and put in "dancin'", but that's wrong too. Why do those of you who dropped it hate the letter "g" so much? You don't see others looking for "louis van amstel ay blo", do you?
I'm surprised by "inflatable violet beauregarde costumes". Have I really made enough Charlie and the Chocolate Factory references to get that high up in the search rankings? It would be an awesome costume though. Push a button and compressed air inflates you into a giant blueberry.
It's nice to see people are searching for Miss Realivision 2006, Melissa Witek. She rocks. It's also nice to see people are searching for Luscious Laird Macintosh. I'm sure after the critical drubbing he took during Treasure Hunters that he could use the support.
Jones Soda does indeed make a fine product. They have a wonderful line of carbonated beverages that you really should try. Jones Soda, it's not just for breakfast anymore.
Sorry, I don't have any nude pictures of Edyta Sliwinska, but she is a foxy dancer, you sly porn hunter, whoever you are!
Seriously folks, it's "dancing" and "learning".

Dancing With the Stars - Commentary

2006-10-26T11:34:00.000-06:00

I am so far behind on this show, it isn't funny. It's sitting on several video tapes, waiting for me to recap, but that's not happening now so I should get down to watching it. Seriously, I haven't watched an episode since the first results show, the one I covered using pirate talk. Arrrrrr.
However, it's hard to miss the news about Sara Evans. I feel for her and what she's going for. Unfortunately, all of it has been tainted by the fact that disgraced politician Tom Delay waded into the show before it aired and urged people to vote for Sara because she represents sound family values instead of that evil symbol of all things liberal, Jerry Springer.
So please forgive us who find humour in this situation. We're not laughing at Sara Evans, we're laughing at Tom Delay.

The Amazing Race - Aired for weeks! - Commentary

2006-10-23T09:54:00.000-06:00

First I'd like to apologize that we won't be getting the Treasure Hunters style recaps I was hoping to provide. It does require a working computer at home, and sadly, I don't have one of those right now. I tried calling tech support, but that was no help. It seems they've hired Ann Coulter as a consultant so all they would tell me is that my computer problems are a result of "damned liberals".
Anyway, all that aside, what a fantastic season it's been so far! We have villains, we have people who are being a little too good, and soooo many contestants getting lost. All this with the most diverse cast the show has ever given us. Even moreso than Survivor: Cook Islands. Unfortunately we lost some of that diversity too quickly, but it's still been a terrific season, so that's okay.
Many viewers have fallen in love with perhaps the most sweetly naive couple ever presented, Team Kentucky. Mary and her coalminer husband. His name escapes me right now, and I don't have time to look it up, but it doesn't matter. Mary is the star of this pair even if hubby has had his moments. It's a surprise to pretty much everyone that they're still in the race, even though they did come close to elimination, but managed to hit the first non-elimination pitstop.
Team Single Mothers. Watching them is like going through childbirth. Writing about them is like childbirth. Writing recaps and commentaries is like childbirth. They've compared so many things to childbirth, I think it's just second nature to them. "Wow, I was tired this morning. Getting out of bed was just like childbirth!" "I didn't care much for that movie. The plot was like childbirth." "This soup tastes like childbirth!"
No. I'm not going through each time. It's hard enough to do this and my job at the same time. We know Rob and Kimberly are jerks. Peter's an ass, it's nice to see him gone, even if Sarah was a sweetheart. Oh, I'm not sure on some of these name spellings, but phooey. I'm not going to go check, and you can't make me!
I'm liking the Beauty Queens right now. They are there to compete, and are playing hard but not particularly dirty. First it was Team Miss USA, now it's the Miss Americas. I don't know why the pageant teams are able to win me over, but it seems like it keeps happening lately. If you can call twice "keeps happening". There is only one Miss Realivision 2006 though, and that's Melissa Witek and don't you forget it. Maybe if one of the Miss Americas were to give us behind-the-scenes insider information or even an interview, maybe one of them could be Miss Realivision 2007. Maybe.
Damn, this is taking a long time to write. Just as I try to take two seconds to write another sentence, the patient starts bleeding from yet another artery. Do you mind, Mr. Pennyweather? I'm trying to write a blog here!
Actually, it is pretty hectic here, so I'm going to leave you with this... The Cho brothers are nice, and have been one of my favourite teams, but they annoyed the hell out of me when they gave the Fast Forward to Kentucky. For starters, it could have cost them the game, and you're not in the race to win, don't apply in the first place. Then there was all the talk about how they're trying to play "differently", in other words, in a "nice" way. This nice way still required them to lie to another team in order to help the one they favoured. That's not so nice. Which I'm fine with, but don't pretend to be playing a "better" game and then go an lie to people. That's called "hypocrisy".

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired last few weeks - Commentary

2006-10-22T08:41:00.000-06:00

Okay, I realize that in order to get the diverse cast for this season's big twist, the producers had to look for contestants outside of regular viewers of the show. That's the only thing keeping me from reaching through my television and smacking these people around, asking what the hell is wrong with them.
Take, for example, Cao Boi and Flicka. A couple of weeks ago, they had the chance to be in an alliance that would have shaken their tribe up and seen them through to the merge. So how the hell were they convinced to not only not do it, but that they would have numbers on their side only if they voted in favour of the current ruling alliance?
The following week, Cao Boi tried to make an impact, but it was too little, too late. Now he's gone, and he has only himself to blame. The right move at the right time could have kept him safe.
By the way, if I were to write a novel or screenplay and included characters named "Cao Boi" and "Flicka", how seriously would it be taken? But I'd take it a step further and add a "Nakomis" to the mix, a smart and sassy young woman who could lead this rag-tag group of misfits to much glory.
Actually, I'd like to see that one of these seasons. A whole tribe of misfits. That would be awesome. Do you hear that, Mark Burnett? Go ahead and use the idea, I will not seek any financial renumeration.
I can only give these contestants so much slack though. Unless they have to leave for the island the day after they get the news that they'll be on the show, they should have time to do some basic research. Many seasons are available on DVD, not to mention all the websites devoted to the show. Learn from past mistakes!
There's no reason we should be this many seasons in and still have people being lazy around camp or submitting to the will of the dominant alliances or being very cocky when they are in a position of power. There's no reason the same mistakes should keep being made, but they are. Every friggin' season.
Speaking of mistakes, yeesh. If you are sitting in on another tribe's Tribal Council and have the opportunity to remove one of their players for safety, you take the one in most danger of leaving! How basic is that? It screws up their game plan, and if that person makes it to the merge, you can flip them to your side! Damn, these people aren't thinking ahead.
I can't wait until we get to our first elimination competition. You watch, the pecking order of the alliances will once more be laid bare. If I ever found myself on one of these shows, I'd be telling my teammates to knock me out first. They can screw things up for themselves if they so desire, but leave me out of it.
Finally, a comment on the four tribes thing that started out the season. Last time around, they started the show with four tribes based on age and sex (which didn't start much controversy as splitting them up based on ethnicity), and it lasted all of one tribal council before they merged into two tribes. This time around, it lasted an extra episode or two, but that was it. Come on, Burnett! Have the cojones to go with the four tribe concent and stick with it through to the big merge! If one tribe gets down to three members, split them up amongst the other three tribes. It would work, and it would really make the four tribe concept mean something.

Realivision News - Oh Crap Edition

2006-10-18T14:38:00.000-06:00

You may or may not have noticed a distinct lack of updates recently. Not to worry, I haven't quit the blog, but I've been catching up on other stuff. I still have two weeks worth of Days of Our Lives, and that's with somehow messing up and missing a whole bunch of episodes. I think I missed Jack and Jennifer leaving town, Marlena being kidnapped, Patrick being arrested, and Shawn leaving Mimi around the same time he morphed into a different looking man, and one who can't act.
But there is bad news. Oh crap news. My computer died. Not the one at work I'm typing on now, no. The one at home that lets me pause shows while doing recaps.
So what does this mean? Believe it or not, it may actually mean I'll be updating more. Ironic, huh? That's because I won't be able to do any recaps. It'll all be commentary from now on, or at least until I can get my computer fixed or replaced. Damn.
Maybe this will give me a chance to work on that cross-stitch I have sitting in the closet. Or, you know, get up and move around.

Survivor: Cook Islands - Aired Sept. 14 - Commentary

2006-09-29T16:30:00.000-06:00

As I write this, three episodes have aired, and so we're only getting a commentary. Sorry. But dang, it's fall premiere season! Have you seen Heroes or Jericho yet? No? You really should! And next week Lost is back. Hmmmmmmmm...
But Survivor. Oh, sweet Survivor, how we love you and have missed you. There is nothing like the start of the season, Jeff Probst welcoming us to the show and the location, then his countdown - 39 days, 20 people, 1 Survivor - and the theme song hits. It gets me each time.
It was a little more chaotic this time around, as he was standing on a ship with all the contestants scrambling around him trying to grab items for their tribes. It was okay, but it didn't come anywhere near close to my favourite opening of any Survivor season ever where the camera pulled back as he was talking and he was standing at the mouth of a volcano. Damn, that as a great start to a season. Just because it would be hard to top though doesn't mean they shouldn't try. Bah. I'm also peeved that they no longer do a little montage of Jeff taking the final votes and showing his journey to whatever venue in the States they plan on using for the finale. I loved that, Jeff. Why don't you do it anymore? Think of the poor fans, damn it!
I haven't mentioned it yet, but I can't go on any further without touching on the biggest controversy Survivor has ever faced. Why does he spell his name "Cao Boi" and not "Cowboy"?
Ha! I kid. Of course I'm talking about the four tribes based on ethnicity. Asians, Latinos, African-Americans, and rednecks. Ha! I kid again. The caucasian team aren't rednecks. Well, I'm not sure about Adam, but otherwise they're not.
As the show unfolded, the tribes definitely talked about it, but otherwise it was almost a non-issue, except for the Asian tribe where Cao Boi, arguably the biggest personality of the season, kept making Asian jokes much to the chagrin of his much younger tribemates.
While the season started being about ethnicity, it already looks like it's going to be the same old story and boil down to sex. The first tribe to lose a challenge was the African-Americans, and they got to select someone from another tribe to go to Exile Island. The two men stepped away from their teammates to make the decision, leaving the three women behind and none too pleased. It really came as no surprise afterwards that the first person voted off the island was one of the men.
The Exile Island twist last year was interesting, but at the end never really made a difference thanks to Terry dominating immunity challenges and never having to use his hidden immunity idol. Let's hope that things change this season and we get to see the thing actually come into play. The island itself is a lot more sparse than the one used last time, and instead of a giant wooden skull, the exiled player is stranded with the remains of a wrecked ship. It's actually kinda cool looking.
Sorry that's it for now, but I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Dancin' With the Stars - Arrrred Sept. 13 - Parrrrrrtial Recap

2006-09-19T20:05:00.000-06:00

Ahoy, me hearties! We be ready for the Dancin' results show, arrrrr, but as we know, the landlubbers will be makin' it mostly filler! Arrrrr! As I be writin' this, it be Talk Like a Pirate Day and so I shall be takin' that to heart! Join yer good friend Cap'n Tabby as we sail these treacherous waters and find out who was the first scurvy dog to walk the plank...
Avast, before we get to the show's glitterin' treasure, we must first lay eyes on a recap of the night afore. We don't need that bilge water, for all we need to do is scroll down this page just a wee bit. Arrrrr!
What vile treachery be this? The leader board. Damnable curs! We know that Able Seaman Mario Lopez be in front of the fleet! We know that fancy dandy Tucker Carlson be at the rear! Are ye wanting a cutlass up the windpipe? Arrr, you at least explained the rules, that the judges score be making up half the total, and the landlubbin' masses be makin' up the other half.
The judges are given the choice between a trip to Davy Jones' locker, or their favourite jig from the competition. Their choice? Emmitt and Cheryl. Arr. They would have been a fine meal for the sharks, and fine entertainment for the crew. Yer cap'n would have watched the jig, but I was polishin' me typing hook at the time.
There be few things that bring a tear to an old pirates one good eye, but a performance by that crusty buccaneer Tom Jones would do it. As he sang one of his more popular chanties, we were treated to a couple of youngsters dancin' a professional jig.
Below deck after this, that fair wench Samantha was talkin' to some of the competin' crew. Arrrrrrrr! If'n there were some magic that would let us blow past this!
Now we are forced to hear from the audience! Is there no end to this torture! Lash me to the yardarm, that would be so much more pleasurable! Damn ye, Dancin' With the Stars. Is there no end to yer plunderin' and pillagin' of me time?
Alrighty, we be findin' out now who the first four will be who will be sailin' on in this voyage.
Harry. Arrr.
Emmitt. Arrr.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Aaarrrrrr! Avast, Jerry, they will not be stretchin' yer neck this night!
Vivica. Arrr.
Somethin' new on the show this year be a landlubbin' peasant who ain't never danced a jig in her life. She be learnin' a new jig each week and performin' it on the show, I think. Or she be doin' one jig at the end of the season. I be too busy sharpenin' me cutlass to be payin' attention. This could be interestin' anyway.
The professional dancers then did a jig to show them hornswogglin' celebrities how to do it right for next week! Arrrr!
More Samantha below deck with the four who be safe. Ar.
Salty Tom, the host, asked the judges who they be thinkin' should be keelhauled this blustery night. Len would toss Shanna into Davy Jones Locker if he be given the chance. Bruno would feed Tucker to the fish. Carrie Ann would make Sara walk the plank.
After this, it's time for another chanty from Crusty Tom, the singer! Arrrr. He makes me tap me pegleg to the music.
Time for the results? Nay! It be a look at the celebrities and how hard they be working on their jigs! Oh, for some magic that would let me fast forward to the future!
Arrrrrrr! We finally be getting to the end of this voyage!
Tucker be in the bottom three.
Monique be safe.
Joey be safe.
Shanna be in the bottom three.
Mario be safe.
Sara be safe.
Willa be in the bottom three.
Arrr. Who be the first to walk the plank?
Shanna be safe.
The first to walk the plank be... Tucker!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrr! Splash!